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My 2 younger children (17 & 20) spent the summer with me. We did everything I swore I wouldn't but had an amazing time. I felt OK but they had to return to their father and I'm finding myself standing as my own executioner for the choices I made 4 years ago. If I don't stop I'm going to lose EVERYTHING again. An amazing man loves me, he is honest & true but we are at the beginning of our 3rd year together and can actually start moving forward but he is seeing this behavior as something he can't endure & I don't want him to have to. I don't know how to live positively, my life has always been about avoiding negative circumstances. Just pray that I will learn how to stand & fight for those I love.

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I pray that God will give you the strength you need in Jesus' name.

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sending prayers and hugs your way, you can do this

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I will pray for you........but I'm confused as to why you feel that doing what you "swore you wouldn't do" was "an amazing time".  Am I right in believing this "amazing time" wasn't God honoring time?  I will pray you can reconcile what was "amazing" at one point in your life is NOT what God wants you to be "amazed" by anymore.  If I am off base, I apologize...... I do not know your situation, but God does!  And I pray He shows you the way He wants you to go.

 

May I ask.....are you involved in a local church and with a group of women who can mentor you and pray with you as you let God show you how to live a "positive" life?  I will pray for God to send you encouraging, supportive, Godly women who can nurture you along the way.

 

God Bless You today!

Edited by carolthomas

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I had to leave my 3 children in order to survive. I just can't forgive myself for leaving them there and not realizing he would ruin them too. My current love is Anglican, I'm southern baptist. I've always been more the type to worship on my own, study on my own. My mother is pious. I don't need any more of that. Just acceptance that trauma nearly ruined my life. I fight nearly every day to put the trauma behind me.

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I want to not be ill! EVER AGAIN! This surgery was my ray of hope. I feel it fading fast. I'm not well enough to exercise enough. I got up to a mile walk at one point, now I can't go anywhere unaccompanied.

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Everything I swore I wouldn't do was let them eat crap. We ate out almost every meal! I can't believe I still lost weight as did 1 daughter. The other is actually underweight and she gained the weight the Drs wanted. We were so busy!

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