timeforchange

4 years out, fat, and couldn't feel anymore "down" than I do right now...

Recommended Posts

Yup,  I said it.  FAT.

 

I am fat.  Not because the scales say it (although they do seem to scream when I step on them).  I am fat because of the scales, my clothes, my chins, by belly overhang.  I FEEL fat.

 

I am right at 4 years post op.  My lowest was 142.  I now weigh about 226.

 

REEE-DIC-U-LOUS!

 

There are several causative factors:

 

My brother committed suicide last July--eat my emotions.

 

Started seeing a psychiatrist for this and insomnia--put me on Seroquel for sleep.

 

Seroquel--gives me an appetite like no other.

 

Former bad habits--speak for themselves.

 

A combo of all of the above, plus NEW bad habits....

 

226 lbs.

 

That's TWO HUNDRED TWENTY SIX POUNDS.

 

I am so down right now, it is insane.  Many have suggested going off the Seroquel and trying other things instead.  I have tried darn near everything for insomnia.  In the beginning, I avoided Seroquel like the plague.  But as a last resort, I tried it.  And it changed my life for the better. While I have considered going off it, it is NOT an option,  I have to figure out something.  

 

I have tried:

 

5 day pouch test

 

Plexus

 

Eating less

 

Nothing but shakes

 

All will work for a bit and then I find myself off track again.

 

I am totally lost.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Instead of seeing a psychiatrist, have you tried seeing a counselor who cannot put you on drugs, and so wont put you on drugs? I am not as far out as you, so I dont know, but I still feel like it is so much a mental thing. If you can work out the mental thing, the physical will follow. Good luck. You can do this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately, my insomnia has been lifelong, chronic, and debilitating. So I have REAL need for this Med. I can goes days w/o sleep if not on it. And I'm a happier person, so it's probably helping my mood as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I take trazodone for sleep...have been on it for a bit after gaining a ton of my weight on seroquel. Not sure if you have tried that, but that is what has worked for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know you said it's not an option, 400 mg magnesium before bed helps me sleep, that and tart cherry capsules.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I suffer from severe insomnia and I am on Ambien.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Trazadone not only did not work, it gave me SEVERE vertigo. Ambien doesn't always work. And it I end up doing crazy things on it....bake cookies at 2am, wake up my kids in the middle the night, drive..... no recollection of any of it.

I've not heard of or tried Magnesium.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So sorry to hear about your struggle.

 

I take ambien, but I have to go to bed right after taking it.  If I stay up, I don't remember things - like ordering merchandise on-line!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First off, I am so very sorry for your loss.  I can't even imagine how painful it would be to lose a loved one in such a way.  Huge hugs to you.  Since going off Seroquel isn't an option for you, maybe you could try self-hypnosis?  They have a huge variety of sessions for all sorts of issues.  I've downloaded sessions from hypnosisdownloads.com and have found them helpful.  Good luck and don't give up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok time to pull up your boot straps and do the 5 day pouch reset and gt refocused. I am 4 1/2 years out and have put back on 20 pounds I started the reset today because I know if I keep going like I am right now I will be right back where I started. I am very happy where I am 5'7 and 168 but I know if it keeps going I will be misrable again and I never want to feel like that again. Lets do this together. So far so good today. I will succeed you can to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately, my insomnia has been lifelong, chronic, and debilitating. So I have REAL need for this Med. I can goes days w/o sleep if not on it. And I'm a happier person, so it's probably helping my mood as well.

have you tried ambein I use this nightly and have for 5 years works great and the only side effect is you have to be ready to lay down when you take it or you may act a fool. lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh gosh, can I relate. I'm coming up on 9 years and have gone from a low of 142lbs to 192lbs. I did fine the first 3 years or so. The last two years, as you said, bad habits, eat the stress, etc. Between 3 and 7 years I gained about 20 lbs. I told myself "Hey, that's still over a hundred pound loss." I too have had a life long insomnia issue. For me Restoril works great. I wish you the best of luck with this!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I truly have tried just about everything for the insomnia.

Melatonin....total joke

High doses of benadryl....felt twitchy and heart would skip beats

Ambien....makes me crazy

Trazadone....vertigo

Lunesta....didn't work

Restoril....slept about 50% of the time. And felt like I had a hangover

Remeron...works sorta

Stayed on Remeron and added Seroquel

Seroquel....had to hit a higher dose, but life-changing when it started working.

I re-started Plexus yesterday and I'm trying to decrease my Seroquel. I've been able to go from 600mg down to 400mg without losing sleep. Next step is down to 200mg. Then we'll take it from there. It scares me to death to not have the Seroquel. I CANNOT go back to not sleeping. Not just crappy sleep. Literally, I could go DAYS without sleeping. And that was before my brother died. It got exponentially worse after that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I take trazodone for sleep...have been on it for a bit after gaining a ton of my weight on seroquel. Not sure if you have tried that, but that is what has worked for me.

I take trazodone too love the stuff

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well day 2 of the liguid diet and today is my granddaughter's birthday we went to itchi-bon steakhouse and I drank onion soup so yummy not. They had chicken steak and rice and mixed vegtables and then cake. I was strong I got this. I have come to far to go back.

Edited by goingtobethinin2010

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you in psycho therapy? While you likely need the drugs medically, it sounds as though you could use some therapy. You know how you are sabataging yourself and you know why, but you need help to find other ways of dealing with your emotions. A therapist who specializes in eating disorders certainly sounds like the way to go. Best wishes and I am sincerely sorry for you loss. Hang in there. You CAN do this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not currently in therapy. I tried w/ a couple of different therapists. One wanted to talk about what a much rehearsed script prompted. I went to her days after my brother died and she wanted to talk about my parents and childhood. Really?? I was at an EMERGENT CRISIS and she wanted to talk about distant past problems?? I gave her a few more tries and sought care elsewhere. The other therapist was great, but I think she helped as much as she could.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now