Zen_Steph

Emotional roller coaster....hello!

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This last week was really difficult for me. Maybe it was because I was starting to feel more mobile and got out a few times, but started overdoing it. I have no idea. But by Friday, I was an emotional wreck. I had my lady's best friend visit in the middle of it, so that could have had something to do with it. I had to take a "me weekend," which entailed just hanging out with my husband and kids. Really getting back into life. I realized I was starting to derive my confidence from reading the forums, so I was on them all the time, ignoring things like menial housework, going out for my walks, communicating with people. It was really, really hard. I ended the week with a horrible pinched nerve in my back, which knocked me out for a few days. Finally, it's mostly gone today and after being able to talk openly with my husband about how I feel and what I've been going through, I feel much better. Still emotional at times, sure, but much better. I am 14 days post-op today and boy does it seem like the last two weeks have been a while ride. I have my 2 week post op on Wednesday, where I get my staples out (finally!) and get my progress report, told what supplements I need to begin taking (calcium is likely, probably B12 as well), and cleared to start moving off of liquids. I ended up having a few purees this weekend. I know, I know...it's too soon! But having 2 oz of low fat cottage cheese Saturday and 2 oz of hummus yesterday was helpful to my brain. Both went down no problem with no nausea or anything. And no feeling of fullness, but I've been really strict about measuring out my meals. As of this morning, I weighed 240.6: almost 14 lbs less than the morning I came home from the hospital. Not gonna complain because that really is a lot in 13 days. 

 

This isn't an easy ride for me emotionally and mentally, I'm coming to realize. I have really leaned on the board and my husband for emotional support and reminding myself that this wasn't a bad choice. There is no going back now, it's done. And healed. And I need to move on and use my tool and diet to reclaim my health. Emotions are normal, especially early on. Estrogen releases are going to happen with the rapid weight loss. 

 

I have a wedding to go to on Saturday. I am thanking my lucky stars I'll be out of the liquid phase and on to the pureed foods. At least I'll be able to keep that stuff in my hotel fridge and take care of myself. What's awesome is that I need to find something to wear. Maybe I'll try to find a nice dress (I NEVER wear dresses!). After all, I've lost almost 20 lbs just since seeing a lot of these people last. It may not seem like much...until you say that it was in the last two and a half weeks. 

 

Keep your chins up, April Losers. It gets better. One day at a time.  :)

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14 pounds is fantastic! I can sympathize with drawing a lot of confidence from these boards, but if it keeps you going that's a good thing too. As far as the crazy emotions this surgery leads you into, i'm just rolling with it (while still being round enough to roll!). Thanks for a timely post - you're still taking care of us April Losers!

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Nice to see you back Steph.  I hope you had a fun and fulfilling weekend!

 

You are doing an awesome job!

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