MarioKartLady

Mental Body Image?

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Im down 127lbs since surgery 5 months ago....but i still see a fat person. My mental body image isnt matching reality. Everyone keeps telling me how fantastic I look and all I can think is "yeah in comparison to a 331lb person." How do you all combat the negative self image talk after surgery? I can't seem to get my mind on board....

Does it get better? I've never had a great self image, what with having weight problems since I was 10. I'd love some ideas to help build a better self image (saggy saggy saggy skin and all).

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You just had your surgery in July, it takes some time for your mind to catch up with your body. There are lots of posts on people saying that they don't see what they have lost when looking in the mirror. It just takes time. You are doing great!

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Timely topic. I realized this week when I met with a psych for part 1 of my eval that I have a completely whacked body image. This is the biggest reason that I want to continue psych work postoperatively.

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I still freak myself out walking by my reflection in a window. It takes time. Be proud of your accomplishments and know you have achieved greatness!

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esob said it. Sometimes you catch sight of this person that you wish you looked like - and it's you! I've been told it takes 2 years for our mind to catch up with the body.

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I still feel like a huge fat @*# even after losing 50+ lbs. I think I always will feel this way.

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127 lbs. is a huge success! Congrats on doing that in only 5 months! I was having some body image issues also, I have found that the mirror is my "frenemy" these days, lol. Sometimes I catch a glance and can hardly recognize myself, sometimes all I see are the flaws. I saw a picture of myself from about 10 months ago, and that helped put things in perspective, though. Keep up the good work, and be good to yourself!

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I don't always see the weight loss.. it comes and goes. I do notice when I try on new clothes I can see it better. But day to day I can't see it too much.

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This is incredibly hard for me to accept, too. I'm working on being able to take a compliment without negating it. I did six weeks of eating disorder treatment this summer and am working with my therapist to what/how much I can overcome. I think it will be a work in progress for quite awhile, but I do think that the hope of plastic surgery keeps me going in a lot of ways. I like to think that that will really help my self-image.

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I don't know how to do it either.

I've lost 113lbs and I still see the same fat girl infront of the mirror. :/

Theres one friend I share this talk with and he reassures me I look very different but... when will I see that I look different?

I think it's bad that I went from a size 28 to a size 16 and still feel like I look the same in the mirror. ):

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I'm with you. I have lost 136lbs in the past 7 months and the only change I can see is saggy skin. I still look just as big as I was when I was 405lbs 7 months ago. It will get better and one day I will see how small I have gotten but for now I still see a morbid obese person.

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I talk with my therapist about this every time we meet. I can see smaller body parts that I like. I also see the gross saggy skin under my clothes or the dreaded arms.

I had a friend share some photos with me yesterday, one a week before surgery and one a couple months ago when I was about 80-90 pounds down. It was scary, gross, exciting and exhilarating. Damn I was fat and never realized how big I really was.

I try to focus on how I can move better and sit like a normal person and try to be patient waiting for my mind to catch up.

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Oh my goodness! i didnt get any notifications that all you lovely people had replied to this!

Thank you for all of your kind encouraging words. I really hope it doesnt take 2 years for my mind to catch up!! Thats a crazy thought.

I might benefit from meeting with a therapist on this issue. I'm not opposed to getting help when and where I need it. This is all just such new territory. I feel lost!

Anyone ever thought about starting an online dating site for people who have had gastric bypass? I feel like that would be a great place to start....haha! All this extra saggy skin makes me wonder if I will ever feel comfortable showing anything to anyone ever again!

I too have been/will be trying to focus on all the wonderful new changes versus the ones that make me less than thrilled! Never thought to see myself so drastically different in such a short time span! No complaints!

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Well I am three years out and although I fully recognize that I am much smaller I get depressed that I look fat still compared to normal.

I would prefer to be about 20 pounds thinner and a 10-12 but I am still large after 150 pounds of weight loss and plastic surgery. It depresses me actually but it is what it is and of course I am surrounded by thin people. Some even whippet thin since I spent the past year competing in 16 road races.

I think I have a more real grasp now on how I actually look. I think I had to put blinders on and get through the day when I was so much larger.

I do not think I will ever completely feel comfortable in my skin, no matter what the size. The only time I can really recognize a good weight loss difference is when I look straight into the mirror and my jeans are smaller but frankly from the side, my thighs always have been and still are huge, so the difference does not seem that great and considering the number of pounds off...

I will tell you that people were all over me at between 10 months and 18 months with non stop compliments on my weight loss and then I think everyone had pretty much seen me and the compliments are now few and far between.

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Thank you for starting this topic. I am recently having issues with this- went shopping yesterday (am I a bad person for thinking that self-gifting is the best part of Christmas?) and tried on jeans in a size 6. I haven't worn this size since maybe the 10th grade. I should have been happy, but I kept looking in the mirror and seeing a fat girl, with thunder thighs and a hanging belly. Loose skin (not that much, but def. there) didn't help.

Granted, this was old navy (where the sizes can fluctuate) and there's a lot of vanity sizing out there, but if I can fit into a size 6, shouldn't I be liking what I see? Only a year ago, I was squeezing (barely) into size 20's. A few months ago, I was bragging about my size 12's. And I kinda liked what I saw in the dressing room then. I've been in a stall for a few weeks, now, and I feel a little depressed about the situation, wondering whether I'm done losing weight at 5 and a half months out, and not that thrilled about the finished product.

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I struggle with my body image and I was probably mostly in denial of it when I was at my heaviest but now that things are moving and I don't necessarily like some of the changes (ie saggy drooping flappy skin!) ... but also I find it difficult in my mental image to see that I have lost as much as I have. I still see a very large person and it makes me sad and depressed.

It isn't an unusual thing I think because we have this reality in our brains and it takes time to establish a new reality.

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I love that even though ive lost more weight than I anticipated my body is not perfect

I probably carry an extra 5-7 pounds of loose skin but its a reminder of my journey and how far I have vome

My weight loss is the best gift ive ever given myself even with the bumps ive had. I have a great family who supports me and surrounds me with love and acceptance. Never be afraid to talk to a professional or admit that you need support along the way. We've all been exactly where you are and this board is such a great source of support for our journies.

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Im dealing with the same issues. I still feel like the fat person even though Im down just over 90lbs in 6 months. The biggest help for me is to hold up a shirt that says M on it and have it actually fit!! seeing the proof in the clothes helps me comprehend that I HAVE changed and I'm making progress towards my final goal. That and putting on my pre surgery clothes and having them fall off lol

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I think the best thing we can all do for ourselves is some positive self talk. I know it sounds like a hokey, oversimplified strategy, but it really does work. People who achieve greatness do so because they tell themselves they can.

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I have some similar body issues. My weight dropped so much and I feel like I love how I look and internalize that yes, this is me now. However, a few times I have noticed I thought of myself as still a larger person. When they gave me a small wheelchair at the hospital, my initial thought was, this is embarrassing, but I'm not going to fit. I did fit! Or when I step on something and think surely I would break it. Without the extra weight, life is jus different and you get used to it, gradually. And skin is different for everyone. I had some pretty saggy skin but as I'm only 32, it seems to be shrinking like the rest of me. I won't need any operations for that, thank God. (have had my fair share of complications).

It gets better!

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It took years before i was able to see just how large I had gotten. I think it will take a while before I see how much smaller i am. My hubby and kids are like "oh my gosh, your TINY" I know I am much smaller then i was, but I too have a hard time seeing it.

I am one year out, and down almost 100 pounds, in a size 8 petite. I think my size fits me. I do have some extra fat, and lose skin. I see the skin and fat more then others do. I look down and see it in my belly, waist, thighs, etc...

My suggestions.... take pictures of yourself and post them on MyBodyGallery. http://www.mybodygallery.com/news-and-info.html

Then look through the other pictures of women who are nearly your measurements. I was able to objectively look at others and see them for their true size. This helped me see myself as my true size as well. It helps with perspective.

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Im down 127lbs since surgery 5 months ago....but i still see a fat person. My mental body image isnt matching reality. Everyone keeps telling me how fantastic I look and all I can think is "yeah in comparison to a 331lb person." How do you all combat the negative self image talk after surgery? I can't seem to get my mind on board....

Does it get better? I've never had a great self image, what with having weight problems since I was 10. I'd love some ideas to help build a better self image (saggy saggy saggy skin and all).

I remember just saying well I have a long way to go but do feel so much better. I think it took looking in glass windows and doors a lot before I actually saw myself as a good size or a normal size.

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I agree with all the posters here! i don't even recognize my own reflection in mirrors any more. Its a bit unsettling sometimes

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I have issues too. I get aggravated when someone says I am small, or tiny. I just don't believe them.

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I am still wearing my fat googles and I can't get them off! :wacko:

I, too, truely do NOT believe that I am becoming a normal person. Except that people (as a whole) are treating me "differently". IYKWIM.

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