Junotopia

Anyone Else Feel Like They Will Never Reach Goal?

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Hello fellow Januaryites!

I'm feeling sort of down and wonder if any of the rest of you are in a similar funk? See, I just am -convinced- that I will never reach goal weight. This goes beyond a stall, or being upset about that, and is more like a deep seated conviction that I'm never going to get there. I kind of have accepted that I will probably never get below 180, which is still overweight. Sigh.

I keep hoping that at my one year surgiversary I will look back on this posting and laugh (from the vantage of my 140 pound goal weight)!

So, are any of the rest of you in a similar spot? Or any long-timers who felt this way and DID reach goal?

I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement....

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I have felt that way all along. My goal weight is my dieticians goal. My only goal was getting to less than 200. I'm at 188 today, and that's 48 pounds from her goal. I'm going for it... and Only God knows (literally) where my body will settle. My prayer is to be at goal by one year... that's 8 pounds a month.... maybe to much to ask.

teri

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10 and 1/2 months out and down 101 pounds..........every month I think "is this it"? "Am I done"? I have 29 pounds to GOAL and am losing sooooo slowly now........yep, "in a funk" describes it perfectly......150 seems so far away.............arrrgh!

But could I have lost 101 pounds on my own? No WAY! I am GRATEFUL for this tool we were given!

Nancy

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I felt the same way at about 8 months out but at 14 months out I am 8 pounds below goal. It really just happened about 5 pounds a month and that seemed so slow to me but it did happen. I hate all sweets so I have been lucky there but do not measure my carbs or sugars or calories I just eat lots of chicken and cooked vegtables and so fat things have been very easy for me. I know we all doubt that we will ever reach goal but it does happen for a lot of us so hang in there and follow the rules and you should do fine.

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I set a high goal of 190, down from 390, but I decided it would be better to get to that and then rethink where I want to be. So far I lose an average of 20 lbs a month and I know that will slow down as I get farther out and closer to my goal, but for the first time I actually feel like I can get to my goal and hopefully lose even more than that. My ultimate goal would be to be about 160 or 165. I just have to be patient and stay positive. Good luck with you goal.

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Thanks, guys! I appreciate your answers. It helps to know you aren't the only one in the world to feel the way you do.

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Over a month into a stall and not quite two months out, I feel like I may never get to my goal. Indeed, I wonder if I am so broken I won't lose anymore at all.

I've read about other folks with early, long stalls, and am relieved to hear they eventually broke through, but still can't quite find the faith that this will actually work. After all, nothing else did.... That said, unlike other attempts to lose weight, there's no saying, "Never mind, I'll just try something else!" -- it's the way I'm plumbed now. I can tweak ratios and calorie levels and whatnot, but not all that much without jeopardizing my health, which I am unwilling to do -- certainly not to the extent of flipping from Atkins, to Medifast, to leptin-manipulating-this, to fad-diet-that and so on.

Maybe it'll be a matter of waiting a few more days or weeks, or maybe I'll be the statistical aberration that manages to maintain, even gain on 700-900 calories.

*shrug*

I'm grateful for the control and reconnection to my body the surgery gave me and figure it should at least help me ensure I don't gain back to 350+, but I was hoping for so much more.

I'm sure glad I didn't tell very many people about the surgery. My own disappointment is enough to carry around with me.

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Lovely furry one,

I know how you feel! Okay, I'm gonna keep you *especially* in my thoughts, and in one year we will both probably look back at this and laugh. One thing my doctor did say is that it would come off slower because I started as a "lightweight." Of course, to me, 255 pounds was nothing to sneeze at but that might be why it's a slow and agonizing progress. You started at the same weight, so let's both keep our heads up and continue slogging along.

Good luck to you.

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Awww, thanks, Junotopia! I'll hold a good thought for you, too!

There's so much more to life and the positive changes we're making than the number on a scale.

Right? Right.

Easy to say, hard to remember when you're stuck! :rolleyes:

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Awww, thanks, Junotopia! I'll hold a good thought for you, too!

There's so much more to life and the positive changes we're making than the number on a scale.

Right? Right.

Easy to say, hard to remember when you're stuck! :rolleyes:

It's been a while since I've been on. My nut didn't give me a goal weight cause she probably knew I'd obsessed with the numbers without help. I'm doing well. Just wanted to check in. Hit a stall for a month when the scale refused to budge. This past weekend I gave my husband a birthday party and was super busy. Stepped on the scale to find that it finally moved!!! What's even better is that my clothes have gone from size 26 to 18.

Positive changes happen one step at a time. . . :D

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I really needed to hear this today: that I am more than just a number on a scale.

Thank you, ladies!!!

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I'm a little farther out than you, but I'm down to my last seven pounds...and the scale isn't budging...and hasn't budged for the past two months. Who would have thought the last seven pound would be next to impossible to lose but the first 102 would be a breeze to lose?

I questioned my nutritionist about what to do in order to reach my goal weight. This was her response...

"Remember, try not to base your happiness on a number. You are feeling incredible right now, looking great, and able to do so much more than you were last year at this time. Are you really going to base your true happiness on a number of 145? Would you be happy at 152? We are talking a matter of 7 pounds here. You are in a size smaller than you ever thought you would be in. There is so much more to life than the number 145. You have to realize that your body might be feeling good and very happy at 152. It must want to be there or it would not be so hard to get to 145."

I know where she is coming from, and I've read that sort of response here on T-T more times than I can count. However, to me, letting go of my goal weight is like stopping 50 yards short of the finish line in a 5K race and telling myself, "That's far enough." It doesn't make sense! I don't care if I hit 145 and stay there for no more than 5 minutes and then bounce right back to 152. I just want 145 on that scale. I want to take a picture of that number on the scale. I want to know that I finished what I started. To be honest, I have no idea what my connection with the number 145 truly is other than the fact that I wanted out of the 150s because the difference between 158 and 159 for me is a "normal" versus "overweight" BMI. I didn't want to feel like I was living life on the edge. I sure can't trust my eyes to tell me that I look okay at this weight (my mind/body connection hasn't truly come together just yet).

My greatest regret to date is that I ever set a goal weight. I should have stuck with a clothing size goal because I have blown my initial idea of a clothing size out of the water. I thought it would be great to get down to a size 8, although I figured I would end up in a 10 or a 12. I am now wearing a pant size 6/ dress size 4 (I could probably be in a pant size 4 if it weren't for the excess skin). So, yeah, I should be incredibly happy with where I am today. I am a very healthy, fit, and toned 152-pound woman....who no longer struggles with hypertension or hypertriglyceridemia.

I guess I can change my mind about my goals...I am, in fact, the one who set them. Oh, but who am I kidding?!?! I want 145! :( Okay, so perhaps I need the pep talk today, too! I think my support group is going to get an earful tonight at our meeting! I'm just going to keep plugging along, doing whatever I can to continue to reinforce my healthier lifestyle. Being able to do more than I imagined...and being interactive with my children...is truly a drastic change from where I was a year ago. Truth be told, if I had to make a choice between losing 7 more pounds or having more interactive moments with my kids, I would choose time with my kids....a billion times over. Looking at the big picture, this tool has already given me more of a life than I ever dreamed.

So, let's keep on keeping on and doing what we know is right. We may or may not ever reach our goals, but one thing is for certain -- we will end up in a place that is more likely to be far better than where we started.

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interesting phrase, Martee.........."mind body connection"............I don't see me as others see me yet, either. My mom tells me all the time-my hubby tells me all the time- my coworkers tell me all the time- "you're so much smaller", "your face is so thin", "you look like a totally different person", etc. etc. I just don't see it yet.....great way to express it...."mind body connection".............I'm committing that to memory, LOL!

Nancy

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The pounds lost aren't as high as some but I have gone from a 28-30 (4X) to the size 14 pants I bought the other day. That to me is just amazing. My only problem is that when I go into a store like Macys I can shop the whole store not just one department (and even then I was too big for most of their clothes) and I am totally overwhelmed. Anyone else getting that feeling when shopping?

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I, too, was bypassed in January 2011. I have lost 118 pounds in the first six months wuth strict intake and a fervor for exercise. That being said, I am at a stall as well. I have 31 gruelling pounds to lose and not enough exercise can force the scale to budge. I am so disgusted.

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I, too, was bypassed in January 2011. I have lost 118 pounds in the first six months wuth strict intake and a fervor for exercise. That being said, I am at a stall as well. I have 31 gruelling pounds to lose and not enough exercise can force the scale to budge. I am so disgusted.

I don't know why you would feel disgusted.. How much of that weight is excess skin? @ your height, it's probably significant. My doctors said I have at least 30 lbs of excess skin.. and I'm slightly taller than you.

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I don't know why you would feel disgusted.. How much of that weight is excess skin? @ your height, it's probably significant. My doctors said I have at least 30 lbs of excess skin.. and I'm slightly taller than you.

I know I possess alot of excess skin but I still have an awful lot of midsection fat to contend with. Realistically, I could probably stand to lose another 20. I am just disgusted because I work at it so hard and the scale is my foe right now. I am a person who needs visual gratification. The scale does that for me.

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Lovely furry one,

I know how you feel! Okay, I'm gonna keep you *especially* in my thoughts, and in one year we will both probably look back at this and laugh. One thing my doctor did say is that it would come off slower because I started as a "lightweight." Of course, to me, 255 pounds was nothing to sneeze at but that might be why it's a slow and agonizing progress. You started at the same weight, so let's both keep our heads up and continue slogging along.

Good luck to you.

I'm so glad I read your post. I always feel like I'm losing extremely slowly. To hear that some doctors consider 255 (and maybe 266?) lightweight which equals slower weight loss makes me feel better. I had been thinking this myself, but it's good to hear that someone in the medical field thinks the same thing. I don't know if I will ever reach goal weight. I know that I really need to because of a medical condition I have. However, if I don't make it I am grateful that I now have the chance to get below 200 lb and Onderland is a place I long to live again.

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Hello fellow Januaryites!

I'm feeling sort of down and wonder if any of the rest of you are in a similar funk? See, I just am -convinced- that I will never reach goal weight. This goes beyond a stall, or being upset about that, and is more like a deep seated conviction that I'm never going to get there. I kind of have accepted that I will probably never get below 180, which is still overweight. Sigh.

I keep hoping that at my one year surgiversary I will look back on this posting and laugh (from the vantage of my 140 pound goal weight)!

So, are any of the rest of you in a similar spot? Or any long-timers who felt this way and DID reach goal?

I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement....

YES!! I'm in the same funk!! Three weeks now and the scale will go down and then UP with the same two pounds!! I've lost 70 pounds and started at a lower weight than most. Yes, I'm thrilled. Yes I'm in a size 12 pants. Yes, I feel great. But all I see is the 18 pounds sitting at my waist that won't budge. I also set a goal to be 145 because I want to be "normal" for once in my life! Also because that's what I weighed 30 years ago when I got married. I am going to put the scale in the closet (well, maybe tomorrow) and only weigh once a week. Yeah, who am I kidding? It's just that some people here have NOT lost all of their projected weight. And that scares me.

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YES!! I'm in the same funk!! Three weeks now and the scale will go down and then UP with the same two pounds!! I've lost 70 pounds and started at a lower weight than most. Yes, I'm thrilled. Yes I'm in a size 12 pants. Yes, I feel great. But all I see is the 18 pounds sitting at my waist that won't budge. I also set a goal to be 145 because I want to be "normal" for once in my life! Also because that's what I weighed 30 years ago when I got married. I am going to put the scale in the closet (well, maybe tomorrow) and only weigh once a week. Yeah, who am I kidding? It's just that some people here have NOT lost all of their projected weight. And that scares me.

Annette, my doctor talks to me like reaching 70% of my excess weight lost is a victory. I'm like "Really? COME ON! I had my guts rearranged. I want it ALL." LOL.

He thinks I'm greedy.... :)

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interesting phrase, Martee.........."mind body connection"............I don't see me as others see me yet, either. My mom tells me all the time-my hubby tells me all the time- my coworkers tell me all the time- "you're so much smaller", "your face is so thin", "you look like a totally different person", etc. etc. I just don't see it yet.....great way to express it...."mind body connection".............I'm committing that to memory, LOL!

Nancy

I am so there! And so is my sister!! My sister had the gastric sleeve and I got the bypass. She lives in Chicago, and I'm here in Atlanta - when we saw each other in July we said at the same time - "you look awesome" and then "I can't see it". We both thought we had some kind of psychosis thing going on. We can see it in pictures and in clothes - but looking in the mirror - we can't see a change in ourselves but see it so easily in each other! I said that we're both crazy! :lol:

But Nancy and Martee - thank you - that mind-body connection makes perfect sense . . .I'm just a little crazy. B)

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My surgeon did not give me a goal weight and I set the 150 myself. I also, at the start, made the decision not to lose the weight super fast at my age I was afraid it wouldn't be healthy. Consequently I made sure to get all my protein and all the calories allowed at each stage and have lost 92 pounds very comfortably with no complications. I am losing slowly but it is still going and my doctor is thrilled - I am one of his oldest patients.

How do you know when you have lost enough? I recently went to a bridge tournament in Oregon and three of my fairly good friends did not recognize me.

Good luck to all of you and I hope all of you reach whatever goals you have set for yourselves.

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JO, you are doing fabulous!! Congratulations! I think 150 is a good choice at our heights... and I am 42 so yeah, it's coming off more slowly for me as well...

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So good to see how some of us are doing!! I'm down nearly 80 pounds since my gastric bypass Not quite the 80, but close. But I'm at the same weight for what feels like 3 months. Not sure 100% WHEN i Hit the 180's. But I'm really looking for the 170s at this point.

I've gone back to basics. JUST protein. No veggies, no snacks. I've tried cutting out protein shakes. Time will tell if this helps. Cutting out ALL carbs.

Teri

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Not sure if anyone still reads here... But I'm 6 pounds from my goal.... 169..,. and I've had a tummy tuck. i love my life now.

Teri

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