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Rush of Anxiety!


JLNoreen
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Surgery is Monday, May 2nd. I'm so ready and have been for some time now. But suddenly, it hit me how close I am! My life will change so much and I'm so excited for the changes, but also a little apprehensive I guess. I haven't been able to wear my wedding ring for over five years now (since I was pregnant with our youngest) and I can't wait to get it back on, along with my six-year anniversary ring (that I've never been able to wear!). I can't wait to be the fun Mommy again---the Mommy my oldest remembers who could run and play, walk the zoo without being winded, wanted to go swimming, and do all the family outtings we used to do. I can't wait to feel sexy and beautiful for my husband (and self) again---and to actually believe it when my husband says I am. I can't wait to wear my skinny clothes again and not have to recheck myself in the mirror a dozen times, knowing all along that regardless of what I change into, I won't look any better. I can't wait to wear heels again, to want to spend the time looking in the mirror long enough to do my hair and put on makeup. I can't wait to be smaller than my husband again and actually let him pull me onto his lap, instead of making up an excuse not to do so. I can't wait to be healthy and feel good again. I can't wait to get my life back and start living again, rather than just going through the motions to get through another day.

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I feel the same way girl!! I'm going to put a before picture of me on the fridge thinking that will help me remember where I came from. I think it will help on those days of wanting to cheat. Good luck and keep us updated on how you do after surgery!

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I'm taking my before pictures on Sunday and then will do monthly photos to compare. We're so close, girl! I will be sure to update once I'm home and well enough to do so and you do the same! I'm off to get my prescriptions as I just got the call the cleanse/prep is ready (oh joy!).

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