milwmarc

Messinger's Diary

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Good job, Marc. I'll have to pick up my game now. I'll post my day tomorrow.

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well surgery is done . I feel like a mac truck has run over me my ribs hurt my back hurts I get to drains in me and a catheter . I thought I'd be going back to work in 5 to 7 days I now realize it's looking more like at least 2 weeks . so the transformation continues I'll post more with some pictures from the hospital and what my frankin belly looks like when I've got more energy . they did 3 procedures removed a cyst from my lip fixed my man boobs and took out 1 and a half to 2 pounds around my belly . I'm a big hot mess!

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well surgery is done . I feel like a mac truck has run over me my ribs hurt my back hurts I get to drains in me and a catheter . I thought I'd be going back to work in 5 to 7 days I now realize it's looking more like at least 2 weeks . so the transformation continues I'll post more with some pictures from the hospital and what my frankin belly looks like when I've got more energy . they did 3 procedures removed a cyst from my lip fixed my man boobs and took out 1 and a half to 2 pounds around my belly . I'm a big hot mess!

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well surgery is done . I feel like a mac truck has run over me my ribs hurt my back hurts I get to drains in me and a catheter . I thought I'd be going back to work in 5 to 7 days I now realize it's looking more like at least 2 weeks . so the transformation continues I'll post more with some pictures from the hospital and what my frankin belly looks like when I've got more energy . they did 3 procedures removed a cyst from my lip fixed my man boobs and took out 1 and a half to 2 pounds around my belly . I'm a big hot mess!

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well surgery is done . I feel like a mac truck has run over me my ribs hurt my back hurts I get to drains in me and a catheter . I thought I'd be going back to work in 5 to 7 days I now realize it's looking more like at least 2 weeks . so the transformation continues I'll post more with some pictures from the hospital and what my frankin belly looks like when I've got more energy . they did 3 procedures removed a cyst from my lip fixed my man boobs and took out 1 and a half to 2 pounds around my belly . I'm a big hot mess!

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Here's to a speedy recovery, Marc! Can't wait to see how u feel about your newly refurbished bod.

Good luck,

Deb

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I hope your recovery is quick, Marc, and your results are all you hoped for. I've said this, I'm sure, 99 times, but you are such an inspiration. You deserve the best.

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plastic surgery is definitely a lot harder than gastric bypass . mentally it's harder with gp ,but the surgery itself really takes it out of you.

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plastic surgery is definitely a lot harder than gastric bypass . mentally it's harder with gp ,but the surgery itself really takes it out of you.

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Day 5, Friday of this boring recovery and story. I'm feeling for the first time after 5 days at about 10% of my old self. I can think a little clearly and I got out of my mancave basement of 4 days to the outdoors. Walked outside, down to our pool, down to our mailbox and hung outside for a bit. I don't want to overdue it but I am told the more active you are the quicker you recover.

I'm going to try to get 100% off the percocet by tonight after 5 days. Just like I have done in the past I will try to get some pictures of the surgery 5 days out while its still fresh for any of those considering having a tummy tuck done and for you guys that have extra man boobage that need it removed they liposuctioned out some more fat that I couldn't get rid of via GP and working out. I don't know what impact these surgeries will have on what I look like for about 6 to 8 weeks I am told.

My goal is to still do a Triathlon in July.

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My goal is to still do a Triathlon in July.

No doubt you will.

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Any pictures post-surgery yet? How are you feeling??

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Well its 1 month and 3 days out from surgery. I'll post more when I have more free time.

But like most guys, I want it all faster. Personally I see NO difference 4 weeks out from surgery other then the cyst removed from my lip.

I'm not sure that the plastic surgery was worth it...ask me again in 6 months. I can't see any difference in my stomach other then a big hot cut up mess and LOTS of swelling, My man boobs...they just removed some fat..not much, but I can see no difference. My wife can't see a difference either.

With that being said, Im only a month out and not ever having known anyone that had this done..and only going on what the doctor tells me, he said it could be up to 6 months for us to truly see what impact the surgery had.

I am swollen around my belly and chest. I was not even supposed to think of excercising for 6 weeks and then start lightly... But after 3.5 weeks with no excercise I was becoming one cranky guy. So I ran 2 miles the first day, then 3 miles the next day, then 10 miles on the bike then 20 miles on the bike, until this past weekend. This last weekend I biked 15 miles Saturday with my 12 yr old then ran 5 miles...Sunday I biked 27 miles then swam 1/4 of a mile. And Sunday I get out of the pool, I feel bloated and my wife..says...umm go look in the mirror...you are soooo swollen. all the exercise I know is making my heart pound harder and that is making me retain more fluids around the 1 month old area of my stomach and chest...I have lots of water...I have to try to excercise less..but I feel unless I excercise I'll gain weight..and Triathlon Season is right around the corner!

I look fatter now then before surgery. I just re-read portions of my blog tonight and see that I am slowly allowing some things creep back into my diet...a few pringles here and there. larger handfuls of nuts, more snacks..around the kids...I STILL eat small meals and NEVER eat off my kids plates...I finishing 8 oz's of pork and maybe one piece of corn but then am full....but the snacking..that's where I have to stop..not hanging out at nights and weekends with the kids and stealing handful of this and that.

So, since surgery I have been afraid to get on the scale, less excercise for a month..almost none till the last week, a little more food, I rarely dump anymore...I read in the past 2 cups of sugar free jello would with whip cream would make me dump...had that an hour ago as I was responding to emails and NO dumping..scary! So when o when to get on the scale...I know I have lots of fluid build up..so I think I'll wait unitl July 2nd, 2 months out from surgery before I weigh myself for the first time..and between now and then realize that those handfuls of nuts, pringles and crap will make that scale go up.

The doctor said he removed 1.5 to 2 lbs of skin, but I look fatter now. It doesn't pay to post any pictures..I don't want anyone to lose their lunch. Nothing to write home about...

I was able to make it back to work in 2 weeks. I am top in my class since 2010, am one of the fastest growing new Financial Advisors at Edward Jones, but know much like this surgery, that the true success lays in creating good daily habits that are repeated daily. More then any other business I have ever started I realize that I will be able to continue to learn and grow with this job until the day I retire. Good things are happening at work, Since last year I have been working to help a Financial Advisor Retire. It's amazing the harder we work at something the luckier we can become. I am now handling the reigns of my own office. Besides helping out the masses with their retirement plans, 401 K and overall investments (but I'm NEVER too busy to help those of you out there in TT Land with your 401K, rollovers etc!) within one year the other Advisor will be retired and I will have 100% of my own office.

I couldn't imagine how I would have gotten through the past year without this surgery. I'm sure I would have "emotionally ate" and probably would be at a higher weight then ever. This surgery gave me the power to control not only what goes in my mouth (although I do struggle with bad choices daily, most of the time I make the better choices) but also has shown me the way to start to control other parts of my "bank of bad habits" as well.

In the next 2 weeks my wife and I will be taking our first night EVER in 12 years away from our children..not just one night but 3 nights! We have to go to a work conference for me, but supposedly their is lots of time every afternoon to reflect, spend time alone and enjoy each others company. My wife since December has taken her own weight loss journey, journaling what she eats and exercising, she won't share how much she has lost with me (after being together for 26 years I know her cute little quirks...her secret). But with the retreat..I'm hoping we can take some new pictures of the "newer us" and I'll share a picture of the "old us" from a couple years ago. It's awesome to see her get so psyched about losing the weight..not for me but for herself...and she's loving her 5 A.M. Boot Camps. We're reinventing ourselves at age 40...Probably a better way to go then buying a convertible or like so many couples have a "wandering eye".

So, a question to the Audience. Who in here that has had this surgery still feels like the "old self" mentally? I'm still the 320 lb guy in my head. Will I ever be 100% happy with who I am? Anyone else struggle with that?

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Marc, I've lost more than 160 pounds in 18 months, and in many ways, I've made the turn mentally. However, I always feel fat around my middle -- like nothing has changed. It's odd, and I'm not sure any amount of weight loss can make that go away -- even though I could stand to lose another 10-15 pounds.

I'm definitely at the "work at it" stage. Had a big camping trip with some friends last weekend. We swam, snorkled and hiked all weekend, but people really brought a lot of food and I actually put on a couple of pounds! So I, too, have to get very serious to knock back weight-gain creep and keep it off.

I'm glad your new career is working for you and I'm so proud of what you and your wife have accomplished!

Enjoy those days away from the kids!

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I'm quite sure the surgery will have some benefit, but you'll just have to wait to see it. I think for people who have like 15-20 lb of skin removed, you can see a difference straight away, but with the smaller amount, I'm sure the swelling is offsetting the ultimate difference you will see. (And I hope you can not exercise too much for a bit, give your body a chance to really heal.)

I REALLY thought I'd have issues seeing the weight loss and seeing myself as smaller, because I had so many years of bulimi-rexia and body image problems galore. However, TOUCH WOOD, I am feeling much more realistic about how I look now. Maybe I can finally put the teens and 20s behind me, now I'm in my 40s. :blink: But yeah, I think it's definitely possible to see the differences and to appreciate them. Think of how you'd scrutinise (or should I say, are currently scrutinising ;) ) yourself for each little ounce and gram of weight gain (or perceived weight gain) -- so just aim that gun the other direction! See what you've lost and really look at it closely and scrutinise your awesome weight loss, know what i mean? Put your gimlet eye on yourself for Good instead of for Eville... :D

Congrats on the new business, you are killing it!! Hope you have a great getaway with your girl, you guys deserve it. Congrats to her on her hard work on weight loss as well.

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Yes congratulations Marc. If you work as hard at that as you have with WLS, you are certain to be a big success.

Regarding the body image thing, at some point I figured out that my body is just not going to be perfect. Yes, I have a small panus but it's not noticeable with clothes on and it seems to be improving over time. While no one is going to mistake me for Richard Gere (who is older than me) I guess I'm just mostly comfortable I'm my own skin nowadays.

I feel great, my numbers are good, and I'm just so grateful for this miracle of medical technology.

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Hi Marc!  I started reading your post August 2014. I am trying to get ready for the gastric bypass.  Dr. Wallace will be my surgeon as well.  It's too bad you have stopped posting.  You should get the beginning to 1 year journey published.  I hope you haven't given up. That's my biggest fear, is that I'll give up & gain it all back.

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WOW!  It's been 8 long years since I really have come on, looked at, or updated my Diary.   Life sure speeds by when your having fun!  A few weeks ago someone sent me an email that found this diary and it had helped them.  So I thought coming up on my 10 year surgiversary giving a blunt realistic update of what my journey has been.

***Warning my THAN's, THEN's THEIR's THERE's and basic ability to make simple spelling mistakes is still a thing**** My wife tells me when she read's much of my writing it can sound like a 6th grader didn't proof read there own work (did I use "there" correctly just now?). I do apologize in advance for run on sentences, grammatical errors, and content that may wander.

The big question?  Am I fat again?  Nope.  Am I ever going to have that perfect physique I have been fighting towards....NOPE!   

So what HAS changed since I've last updated my Diary:  Facebook really wasn't a thing 8 years ago, everyone did not have a smart phone, the economy was in the tank, 

Personally since the last update: I've had a back surgery, 3 nose surgery's in one day, Shattered my right ankle jumping off a cliff (on purpose), had a 2nd plastic surgery to get rid of my man boobs (MOOBS),  sold our remaining franchise Sport Clips, have LOVED my career change 9 years ago to being a financial adviser with Edward Jones, found out our daughter has Muscular Dystrophy and we are still fighting the battle and learning the journey, Our oldest kid is an apprentice, our middle kid's been flying a plane, I've taken up some new hobbies like trap shooting/sporting clay's,  surfing behind our boat and given up some hobbies like Triathlons and running. Edward Jones has made me a Limited Partner in our firm & I've gotten my first and 2nd (& last) tattoo.

My weight best I can recollect in June 2011 for my last post was around 230?  Weight NOW 8 years later...DRUM ROLL!!!!!!!! Now 252 lbs.  About 22 lbs heavier than last post. That is NOT the weight I want to be at, BUT I am now MUCH stronger, as I have incorporated a regular routine of weight lifting the past 4 years, and have had the help from a personal trainer twice a week the past 3 years.  22 lbs heavier in 8 years is not where I want to be at, but I suspect 10 lbs of that is muscle gained.

The Mirror still is not my friend and like many of us my body image in my brain and in clothing is not where I'd like it to be, but I'm soooo much happier than I was pre- surgery.   With the amount of massive life changes the past 8 years I don't even know IF I would be here today if it weren't for bariatric surgery and all it's benefits.  Most likely without changing my lifestyle I'd be 8 feet underground.

I'm amazed reading my last post that I was 40 and in less than a month I'll be 48, time sure does fly!  I was stating in June 2011 how excited I was to get away 3 days with my wife, the first time in 12 years at that time.   Well in the past 8 years, we have been very fortunate to now have traversed much of the globe, We've been to France, Spain and Italy a few times and we were fortunate enough to get to take our 3 kids on a Mediterranean Cruise. We've swam in a underwater cave in Capri Italy that Emperor Tiberius (A.D. 37!) bathed in. We've ziplined rain forests, sailed boat's in the Caribbean, Driven 4 hours through a Mexican desert in our own car unaccompanied by "policia" to the Sea of Cortez.  Driven a Jeep to "death zone" 14,000 feet to the summit of Mauna Kea.  My boys and I still love water of the frozen type snowmobiling in the winter and my daughter and I have fallen in love with the water of the liquid form slipping beneath it's surface.  I've free dived (kinda like scuba but without an oxygen tank) in the Mediterranean, much of the Caribbean and without a cage around me gotten within 20 feet of a 14 foot Tiger Shark while freediving and had the spiritual moment of being in the ocean when a Hump Back Whale Breached within 30 yards from me.

I don't tell you all this to brag.   I'll tell you all this because WITHOUT Bariatric Surgery I COULDN'T have done any of the things I mention above. 360lbs don't fit in wet suits, zip line harnesses or fit in airplane seats . Surgery is NOT a instant cure for your life, but my 360 lb 38 yr old self is gone, dead and buried.  At every obstacle my "old self" would have turned to food, and having a slow metabolism, if I still a made bad food choices I would have ZERO quality of life.  I truly believe I wouldn't be here today.  I feel like I've had 2 lives, the older fat  me, and the newer (greyer) better lifestyle choice me.  The scale still says I have a high BMI, the mirror still shows me all my flubber.  But I can still fit in an XL, Hang with the 30 yr olds weight lifting at that gym, and do most physical activities that my 48 year old buddies won't even attempt any more.

 In August of 2018 I broke my ankle and was pretty much bed bound for 2.5 months.  I started to let  old choices creep back into my life, liquor, salt, sugar, and I'm not talking large amounts of any of those...just instead of one drink on a Friday night, it may be a Beer 3 nights a week.  I still won't eat brownies (Oh what nasty thing's I'd like to do behind locked doors with a home made brownie) but pizza...that was making it back in my life.   The scale was starting to head north again.  I'm more committed than most 48 year dad's going to the gym, I'm typically there  5 days a week.  However, and this is the important lesson I'm still trying to learn.   You do so much effort to move 2 steps forward, but it doesn't take MUCH after Bariatric surgery to move 3 steps back...especially as you get older and farther out from surgery.

I promised myself for 2020 I'm going to share my goals, struggles and feelings with the community that supported me in this journey.  So Thinner Time's I"m going to try to be back more in 2020, It may not be for the long term but a 8 year check up may help others. 

CLIFF NOTES TAKE AWAY'S I'VE LEARNED THE PAST 8 YEARS (March 27th 2020 will be my 10 year Surgiversary).

#1.  This first one is at the beginning on purpose!  TAKE YOUR VITAMINS AND SUPPLEMENTS!  SOOOO IMPORTANT!!!!.

      The farther I get out from surgery the more I'm noticing changes in my body.  I found out when I went Cliff Diving and shattered my ankle in August of 2018, after a major surgery that didn't take and than was subsequently undone 2 months later that I have Osteo Penia , which is greek porn language for weakened bone structure.  The pieces of the puzzle started to come together.  4 years before that I had to have a minor back surgery for a lower spine that was getting weaker and impinging on nerves.  So I had a MRI and Bone Density scan done this year and it all shows that I have the beginning of weakened bones.   I went to see an Endocronologist and was reminded just how hard it is for those of us that had Roux En Y. type surgeries to absorb nutrients.   I weight lift 4 days a week, exercise regularly, 5 times a week and some days I'll lift weights in the morning than go back to the gym at night for 45 minutes of cardio. I think my diet is  still 90% of what will make my weight go up or down though....and the older I get the harder it is to make that scale move downward. 

The health challenges I have had coming up on 10 years from surgery is ;

        A.  Restless Legs at night and many times now starting during the day.  I'm now getting a B12 shot at my doctor once per month and I do notice my legs don't twitch near as much for about 3 weeks after the shot.

       B.  Less ability to get a good nights sleep... this may have NOTHING To do with surgery.  I can assure you if I was 47 and still 360 lbs I'd be heart attack or stroke waiting to happen in bed, but at 252 lbs and a body that doesn't absorb nutrients like a normal person it's hard to get quality sleep.  I've had a sleep study and can't figure out the solution.

       C.  Hangry, Hungry/Angry.  I still typically eat 1,600 to 2,100 calories a day, but I have noticed if I don't eat mid day I can go very quickly now from able to fully function to being a Hangry A$$H0le that can't think straight, and if I than eat once I'm hangry its much harder to concentrate the rest of the day. 

       D.  After Meal Sickness.  The farther out from surgery I get the more things agree with me less and less.  Which is NOT a bad thing for the most part, but certain things I just can't really have any more as my older body this far out from surgery now just can't handle certain things and I get impacted much quicker.

      LIQUOR:  I used to be able to have 2 - 3 beers on a Friday night.   It started about 3 years ago that the liquor was somehow processing different in my body.  My wife would tell me after 2 beers I would become an aggressive A-Hole, I wasn't that way 2 and 3 years out from surgery if I had a few beers.  My body would still LOVE a cold dark Craft beer but now if I have literally 3 sips I feel gross in many ways.   I've taken beer completely out of my life, hard liquor is still possible in small doses but now my body process's it different and I sleep horribly.   So I'm trying to eliminate all Liquor, the brain wants it but the body can't handle it.  This is not a bad thing but I'm now hyper sensitive to liquor, drugs, etc.

     GREASE:  I've never gone back to eating an entire plate of appetizers on a night out, but now if we go out and I have 2 or 3 small things, A single Onion Ring, A fried Pickle, Mozzarella stick etc....I feel very gross the rest of the day.  So, I won't touch food like that during a day ever, if I do allow myself to have a little bit of it at night, I typically won't enjoy the rest of the evening as I just feel gross.

     Liquid's;   Water is STILL key.   We don't get enough absorbed in our bodies and being 10 years out and at age 48 I'm like a drying up lizard in the sun.  WATER WATER WATER.

      Splenda, Sucralose, etc.   all those fake sugars now if I have them in a drink: crystal light, power aid zero etc.  they now make me have to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes or so for a good 3 to 4 hours till the fake sweetener is out of my system.   You can't get away without this stuff being in a lot of your food...but in my case I just can't drink much of this stuff any more.  I'm lucky that I never was a big soda drinker...so I still maybe have at most 2 soda's in a month.

    Food in general: almost 10 years out my body still doesn't absorb stuff if I eat to fast, and if I eat garbage I still feel like garbage.   That's what surgery is for, right?  When we go out with other couples I still will eat usually 25% to only 50% of what is on my plate and take the rest home.  I will tell you I burn 350- 600 calories a day exercising, I eat between 1,600 -2,100 calories a day and the scale will NOT budge.   I just started using My Fitness Pal every day since September again, logging Everything I put in my mouth.  The burned calories and consumed calories are accurate.  Older you get, harder it get's, "who'da thunk?"    I did recently go with my personal trainer to Costco after he looked at my logged food for a month.   He kept telling me I had WAY too much sodium averaging 4,000 to 6,000 grams a day.   He stated I shouldn't have more then 2,500 MG in a day.  He showed me an example of the Costco Organic Healthy Frozen Chicken breast I've been eating for the past 6 years.  A 6 Oz Chicken Breast that I thought was good had 380 MG of sodium, he took me over the the unfrozen organic chicken breasts and same 6 oz's had 45 MG of Sodium.  Almost 9 times LESS sodium.   Getting my Sodium down to 2,500 and less a day has made a large improvement in my water retention, my muscles feel stronger and my face looks thinner.

It's now 1 A.M. (I told you I have trouble sleeping).   

I'm going to set a goal to update my Diary a few times per month again.  Maybe it can help some of those out from surgery a year or 2 to not make the mistakes I have.  For others considering surgery, maybe seeing that you can' maintain a healthy lifestyle and not gain it all back is possible.  I'm almost 10 years out and couldn't imagine life without having had weight loss surgery.    Life throw's all of us curve balls.  Life can be GREAT, Life can be TERRIBLE.  But 90% of Life is JUST like our weight loss surgery.   If you put Garbage In your going to get Garbage out.   Every day I remind myself to be thankful for the things I have...and even when I'm not having a great day I repeat to myself again and again and again.  "It's A Good Life".

Merry Christmas to all of you!   

In a future diary'I'll explain the "why" behind my 2nd tattoo.  But even when I'm having a bad day now I can look at my inner forearm and remind myself every day.... good day, bad day or ugly day... that "It's A Good Life."  

Good Life.jpg

Marc.jpg

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@milwmarc

thanks for this! It’s nice to know how much is possible!

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Your post was very helpful to me. I'm about two weeks from having my surgery. I was feeling nervous and I am glad that I got a chance to see that you have had a good experience so far. I will be having the gastric sleeve.

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