brutherford

Reading for the new surfers!

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Hey there y'all - I'm sad that I won't be joining you this weekend on your first surfing safari, but I wanted to let you know about a couple of books that I picked up. If you're anything like me, you like to research stuff before you try it - well, these two books have made me feel a lot more at-ease about trying surfing. Unfortunately, due to my boyfriend coming down with strep throat, I haven't been able to get in the water yet... but after reading these two books, I feel that I'll be more prepared when I do! :D

Surf Diva : A Girl's Guide to Getting Good Waves

by Isabelle "Izzy" Tihanyi, Caroline "Coco" Tihanyi

$10 new on Amazon.com

Fit to Surf: The Surfer's Guide to Strength and Conditioning

by Rocky Snyder

$10 new on Amazon.com

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Barbara~

I wanted to let you know that you are an inspiration to a lot of people and especially me! You are such a positive person and you tell it like it is. I truly appreciate that.

I have been getting down on myself because I haven't seen my scale move. I haven't been exercising because the gym at my work has been closed for repairs. I have done TaeBo a few times, but I go into work in the wee early hours of the morning and come home 10 hours later and am pooped to do much when I get home.

When Bill had his pre-op appointment, I weighed myself at Dr. Callery's office and their scale was 5 lbs. off the one at work, so I got down on myself. Bill said to stick to one scale and not to worry about what it says. He said that I look good, but I want to be thinner than where I'm at right now. I need a kick in the A$$ is what I need. I have found myself slipping into "old" ways and reaching for snacks when I'm stressing out. What do you think I need to do? I'm eating either high protein Total cereal without milk for breakfast with my coffee or one packet of low sugar oatmeal. Lunch could be 1/2 a sandwich or some chicken and dinner lately, has consisted of soup. I told Bill that I'm glad I had my surgery before him because at least I am closer to goal than what I was when I had surgery and you know how quickly men lose their weight.

I'm sorry for rambling on and on, but I had to get this out there and commend you and others that have reached their goal. One of my other inspirations is Dale who is now in the 120's, I see. That is so awesome! :) I want to get there and I know I will be. I just need to be patient with myself and get my butt in gear.

Thanks for listening and again, for being such an inspiration to me and I'm sure many others out there Barbara. You are a very talented person, funny and beautiful! :P

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Irela~

Chin up girldriend. Look at you....you are beautiful and even if you didn't lose another pound, you look great. I know that is not what you want to hear, but you will drop...I just know it....Don't worry about what Dr. C's scale says...If it means anything to you, I always weigh more on his scale. I stick with my scale at home because that is what I used ever since I left the hospital. Hang in there and don't worry. You are on your way. You may be at a plateau, but it too shall pass. As for me being in the 20's, I don't know what happened to me. I just don't feel healthy. I almost passed out yesterday and again tonight. I have increased my caloric intake out of fear and that scares me, too.

Keep us posted on Bill. You two are just awesome people.

Love and hugs to you :)

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Barbara - You SO ROCK! Also, rent the movie Blue Crush. My favorite movie besides Cold Moutain. It's such an inspiring movie. It's about girls that charge Pipeline, HI. It'll get you pumped.

Irela - I weigh about five pounds more on Dr. C's scale. It's a crying shame, but then I go home and weigh naked in the morning on my scale at home. Stick to one scale.

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It got me so pumped! I picked up a lil handbook to surfing guide to, it was free though at play it again sports.... let me tell you, I have nothing but confidence and optimism going into this... I am hoping that my mind over matter attitude will get me through this weekend, vs the fit vs fat controversy I have going on! :rolleyes:

Woo rock on Betty's!

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Honey, basically, you need to relax. Take a few deep breaths... and chill.

I'm probably going to re-post this somewhere else too, so you may end up reading it twice:

We all need to be so much kinder to ourselves and not sweat the small stuff. I struggled with being frustrated while hitting plateaus over the 10 months that I lost 152 lbs. I beat myself up a few times, stress ate, stopped working out, blah blah blah... I thought about my behavior and my emotional duress over the scale not moving, talked to my therapist and friends, read a few books. Ultimately, the answer is this: Let It Go. I know that everyone is rolling their eyes and sighing right now, but it's the truth. Let It Go. Here's the reality:

  • I believe that the weight goals set by our doctors are by and large not accurate or attainable. Dr. Callery never set a weight goal for me - I don't know if it was a mistake or what, but I'm glad. I set my own goal of 165 - it was in the upper range of what was acceptable for my height, and I figured I had a large frame, so I would just see what that looked like. I think that if Dr. Callery, Kelly, or anyone else would have given me a random number it probably would have created a lot more emotional duress for me to attain it. What I know is that I look and feel good at 165 - could I go lower, yes. But I get to decide whether I want to do that or not. At this time, I choose not to. Bridget is an excellent example of how far off your "goal" can be - according to Dr. Callery, she should have lost another 20-30 lbs. Anyone who has seen that girl in person knows that she doesn't have it to lose. I really, really, really encourage you all to not be married to the number - see how you feel, really take a hard look at whether you're just driving yourself to an unattainable (and unhealthy in my opinion) goal, and then relax for a few weeks and see if it works.
  • I've bounced between 160 and 180 since hitting my goal. 160 came when I got bronchitis and just couldn't eat. I hit 180 last week after the stress of the appeals. Did I freak when I saw the scale at 180? Yes. I spent a few random minutes throughout that day beating myself up for screwing up. However, I told myself that I knew how to get back down, and that there were legitimate reasons why I was up there. I started the pill about a month ago, I was stress eating, and my work schedule was too insane to work out. Those aren't excuses, they are reality. I knew that I would get back on track as soon as possible, and have - I shopped healthy this weekend, started working out again on Monday, and I'm already down to 175.
  • ALL WOMEN YO YO WITH THEIR WEIGHT WITHIN 10 LBS. ALL WOMEN. We need to understand that this is normal and stop the scale addiction that we have cultivated during our weight loss. I stopped weighing myself weekly when I hit my goal. The only time I weigh myself is when I'm feeling curious, so it's been 3 or 4 times since February 13th. Women have hormones, cycles, bloating, water retention, and as Kelly is fond of saying, sometimes a bowel movement can mean the difference of 5 lbs.
  • We didn't have surgery to be tortured for the rest of our lives about numbers. We had surgery to save our lives, be healthy, and finally enjoy life. If you are doing those three things, then what the hell does it matter what the scale says? Not that I advocate a complete disregard for monitoring your weight - the vast majority of us need to check in because we have issues that could come up and eventually land us back in morbidly obese territory if we're not careful. The one thing that I am determined NOT to do is become obsessed about my weight - I spent the last 20 years being obsessed, I refuse to do that any longer. I am mindful, make sure that I am honest with myself about my behaviors, and am content to know my weight by how my clothes fit. That's good enough for me.

I truly believe that all of these things are tied to mental health. One of my issues that I believe many of us share is the driving urge to be incredibly hard on myself. Ask yourself - are you just substituting an obsession with not being able to attain this number for the old obsession of hating yourself because you were fat? Do you really want to spend the rest of your days obsessing over every thing you eat, every pound, every negative comment (both from others and from yourself)? Aren't you exhausted from all of the self-punishment? Spend some time thinking about those things. If you are continuing to struggle emotionally then I would highly recommend some sort of therapy - Overeaters Anonymous has worked for many on this board and is free, a good place to start if you can't afford to go to a therapist. I have an excellent therapist who I've been seeing for almost three years and would be happy to recommend her to you.

A final thought - just because I say all these things and so many of you think that I know what the heck's going on doesn't mean that I'm free of self-doubt and self-punishment. I struggle with it regularly. But the difference is that I used to struggle with my own negative self-thoughts on a daily, often hourly basis - now, things come up maybe once a week. It's taken me years to train myself out of the self-destructive. I have to be patient with myself regularly, talk myself down from anxiety attacks, rationalize with myself when I'm feeling vulnerable and afraid... It's okay though. Life is never going to be perfect, and every time I start to struggle, it gets easier and quicker to just take a step back and remind myself: It's all going to be okay. It's okay to Let It Go. I've survived much worse than this in my life.

Love you guys, B

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I love you!

Thanks for your encouraging words. They helped and you are right! I would write more, but I'm exhausted. Just got back from visiting my honey in ICU, picking the kids up and eating a little dinner.

Thank you again! :P

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I don't think I've said this lately, but I think it every time I see your picture or your purple text:

You are absolutely beautiful.

I thought you were beautiful before you lost weight, but now you're stunning.

Love you too, :P B

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