taydavreg

SEX....dont read if you are offended easily

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It's been 5 years since we had anything going in this department:eek: God it is sooooo depressing. Poor old hubby has become celibate:p

I've started to get some urges again but nothing to note plus it will still be difficult 'cos of all the skin in the way:o

Jim, you make me laugh!!

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I understand everything being said. My partner has a large sex drive since I have been ill. It is all I can do to try and keep him happy with other conventional ways but I can not wait to be with him. before surgery we had a temperpedic bed right before surgery we got a new platform bed and gave the roommate who was sleeping on the floor our bed. Well needless to say a standard mattress is not worth the pain my incisions are killing me and my side hurts in a normal bed in the temper it is much better. I can not wait to crawl into bed nexxt to him tonight. I really want to be with him but I do not know when that will be ok. I am finally keeping stuff down and I am also doing more protien. My hair is leaving me. But for the first time my hunny has seen me naked. You would think I would be ok with him seeing me naked in bed but I am not yet. I was wondering how long does one have to wait cus my hunny is hot and it is really hard to keep waiting.

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I understand everything being said. My partner has a large sex drive since I have been ill. It is all I can do to try and keep him happy with other conventional ways but I can not wait to be with him. before surgery we had a temperpedic bed right before surgery we got a new platform bed and gave the roommate who was sleeping on the floor our bed. Well needless to say a standard mattress is not worth the pain my incisions are killing me and my side hurts in a normal bed in the temper it is much better. I can not wait to crawl into bed nexxt to him tonight. I really want to be with him but I do not know when that will be ok. I am finally keeping stuff down and I am also doing more protien. My hair is leaving me. But for the first time my hunny has seen me naked. You would think I would be ok with him seeing me naked in bed but I am not yet. I was wondering how long does one have to wait cus my hunny is hot and it is really hard to keep waiting.

My doc told me when ever I was ready. That was at 11 days post-op. He just said no wild stuff, and to take it easy. Don't be riding the bull, but I believe any hubby would just be happy slow and easy. If it hurts, stop and use your imagination. Good Luck!!!!!

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..... then I don't know???

Perhaps we should all contribute to a book about "The Other Benefit of WLS" :P you all know that SEX sells!!! ;)

..... but then again there is the stygma of "addicition" and after having dealt with the "stygma" of being obese and then the "stygma" of having had WLS, I'm not sure we want to deal with the stygma of "addiction transfer" :D

All I can say is that when someone asked me whether I'm dealing with the "underlying factor" of why I've been obese all my life, I was very close to say: Yes, by having all the sex that I've lost out on..... and I think I'm slowly coming to terms with it :rolleyes: - but I didn't - I should have shouldn't I?

I loved all your replies!!!

XXX

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All I can say is I feel 18 again!:D

I am not sure about the other men, but I had not really anticipated the "Massive" improvement in my circulatory system (LOL)!:P

The only problem is when I get an erection, now.:rolleyes:

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Gotta share this....sounds a little weird but, last year, beginning in Jan. I decided to pay myself a little each time DH and I did it....(he didn't know of this)

$1.00 for the complete session....$.50 for oral on him. You'd think I'd make a bunch of money that way....no way!! At the end of the year I had $5.00 from the complete and $2.50 from oral. Very disappointing...

I'm doing the same this year, but I'm way over the amount of last years already. We're like cats in heat now...thank you BPS!!

Teri

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Teri, I love your idea of paying yourself! We all need new clothes with all this shrinkage and what better way to earn it than putting out for your other half, I think I might just suggest this to the hubby! I think we should work out a more profitable payscale but with lots more "options"!!! On your rates I earnt about $5 this week, it is 2008 you need a payrise! :D

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I understand everything being said. My partner has a large sex drive since I have been ill. It is all I can do to try and keep him happy with other conventional ways but I can not wait to be with him. before surgery we had a temperpedic bed right before surgery we got a new platform bed and gave the roommate who was sleeping on the floor our bed. Well needless to say a standard mattress is not worth the pain my incisions are killing me and my side hurts in a normal bed in the temper it is much better. I can not wait to crawl into bed nexxt to him tonight. I really want to be with him but I do not know when that will be ok. I am finally keeping stuff down and I am also doing more protien. My hair is leaving me. But for the first time my hunny has seen me naked. You would think I would be ok with him seeing me naked in bed but I am not yet. I was wondering how long does one have to wait cus my hunny is hot and it is really hard to keep waiting.

But they prefer if you wait until you are out of the hospital at least.:P

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Every female I have talked to (including myself) has seen a pretty dramatic increase in sex drive after WLS... I'm sure alot of it has to do with better self esteem, better physical health, and the ability to "do" more..

Unfortunately, there is also a downside.. in that not all spouses are increasing with you. As I sit here, I haven't gotten laid in almost a month, and that's not for a lack of trying on my part. My sex life had diminished since the time we were first dating, and had been that way for some time, but I always attributed it to the fact that I weighed so much more.. now I'm left wondering what the hell else is wrong because I think I look hot, and I still can't get laid. Just makes me want to go out dressed like a 20 year old college girl just to get a little male attention...

Take it easy. Your social environment, or lack of, may be playing a big part in attracting a partner. Is there a ample number of men to choose where you can meet someone?

Work place relationships can eventually lead to a very precarious situation. I don't advise it.

Being a man, I assure you, I am constantly checking out women. I am very discreet about how I do it.

Men are looking at you, but they may be trying to be discreet out of respect for you, and themselves.

I gained about a 100 pounds in ten years. I simply shut down due to issues as a child.

Before I gained weight, I had it too good. I never have had to ask a woman out. Never.

But it came at a price. Most guys would ( and do) say how "lucky" I was,

( am again "still am"), to have women hit on me.

Not so.

It came at a very high price. I never developed a healthy emotional state of love. I always felt "alone", even when I was engaged in sex. And obviously my respect level for self and women was at a low ebb.

I realize now why. Thus, I am developing a healthy perspective of love.

Which to me is a choice. Love is a verb. A choice. Depending on where a individual stands, there are characteristics of love, that come into action. The emotions come later.

I see sex as the intimate act of two people who have chosen to love each other. An embrace of there love for each other. Loving, fun, yet with respectful boundaries.

I am very fortunate to have discovered what I perceive to be as the "way it should be".

I have no qualms with those who have a more "casual" approach to relationships.

I still get approached by women, but I have disciplined myself to really take some time to get to know the person. Four months now, and still celibate.

Take it easy. Try not to be "obvious", I know your excited about your transition, yet, when it's supposed to be, it will.

Bob

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Every female I have talked to (including myself) has seen a pretty dramatic increase in sex drive after WLS... I'm sure alot of it has to do with better self esteem, better physical health, and the ability to "do" more..

Unfortunately, there is also a downside.. in that not all spouses are increasing with you. As I sit here, I haven't gotten laid in almost a month, and that's not for a lack of trying on my part. My sex life had diminished since the time we were first dating, and had been that way for some time, but I always attributed it to the fact that I weighed so much more.. now I'm left wondering what the hell else is wrong because I think I look hot, and I still can't get laid. Just makes me want to go out dressed like a 20 year old college girl just to get a little male attention...

Take it easy. Your social environment, or lack of, may be playing a big part in attracting a partner. Is there a ample number of men to choose where you can meet someone?

Work place relationships can eventually lead to a very precarious situation. I don't advise it.

Being a man, I assure you, I am constantly checking out women. I am very discreet about how I do it.

Men are looking at you, but they may be trying to be discreet out of respect for you, and themselves.

I gained about a 100 pounds in ten years. I simply shut down due to issues as a child.

Before I gained weight, I had it too good. I never have had to ask a woman out. Never.

But it came at a price. Most guys would ( and do) say how "lucky" I was,

( am again "still am"), to have women hit on me.

Not so.

It came at a very high price. I never developed a healthy emotional state of love. I always felt "alone", even when I was engaged in sex. And obviously my respect level for self and women was at a low ebb.

I realize now why. Thus, I am developing a healthy perspective of love.

Which to me is a choice. Love is a verb. A choice. Depending on where a individual stands, there are characteristics of love, that come into action. The emotions come later.

I see sex as the intimate act of two people who have chosen to love each other. An embrace of there love for each other. Loving, fun, yet with respectful boundaries.

I am very fortunate to have discovered what I perceive to be as the "way it should be".

I have no qualms with those who have a more "casual" approach to relationships.

I still get approached by women, but I have disciplined myself to really take some time to get to know the person. Four months now, and still celibate.

Take it easy. Try not to be "obvious", I know your excited about your transition, yet, when it's supposed to be, it will.

Bob

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Teri, I love your idea of paying yourself! We all need new clothes with all this shrinkage and what better way to earn it than putting out for your other half, I think I might just suggest this to the hubby! I think we should work out a more profitable payscale but with lots more "options"!!! On your rates I earnt about $5 this week, it is 2008 you need a payrise! :D

MY HUSBAND AND I DID THE PAY GAME FOR A GAMBLING DAY AWAY FROM THE KIDS. $5 FOR ANYTHING, AND IN 6 MONTHS WE HAD $360 DOLLARS. WE HAD A BLAST GAMBLING.

AS FAR AS THE CLOTHES, I HAD MY SURGERY THE 23RD OF DECEMBER AND ONE OF MY DAYCARE MOMS GAVE ME A PAINT BUCKET OF TOFFEE POPCORN, (SHE SAID SORRY) FOR CHRISTMAS. I GAVE THE POPCORN TO KIDS, CUT A SLOT IN TOP OF CAN AND NOW I PLACE ALL CHANGE IN CAN FOR MY NEW CLOTHES FUND. THE KIDS ENJOY FINDING CHANGE EVERYWHERE TO PUT IN THERE. MY DAUGHTER BOUGHT ME A SHIRT, A JUNIORS SIZE 15/17 FOR ME TO LOOK FORWARD TOO. I CAN'T WAIT.

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I toss change in a jar and it's my rainy day fund....think I'll switch it to a clothes fund...my size 12's are already loose. (originally a 2x or 22)

As far as a pay increase...:rolleyes: yes, I gave myself one. It's now $5.00 for anything....might just make something this year! Heck, with dropping change and dropping my undies I should have a complete wardrobe!:eek:

Teri

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My sex life is 200 % better since weight loss. Partly because I feel better about myself and partly because it is easier to do with the pounds gone.

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Ok, Jim is hilarious...love it! There are a few of you guys that repeatedly have me LOL! Ok so I have never had lack of men or sex (praise the lord) ok that was weird...anyways even when I was big I got my share of attention, maybe its my loud mouth, being outgoing, the clevage, my big round butt, not sure, but being thinner and finaly happily married I freaked out a little right after surgery because we went from every day to like once a week and I was like *&^% he is scared he will break me now or something. If you read one of my previous posts will you have read my new motto "if you hear it slappin' dont come rappin" This is an attempt to cover my insecurities about my flabby skin which appears to be only downfall I can speak of at this time. So, sex, well I have a tiny shower in my bathroom that we can barely both get into but lets just say...hm...well he was quite surprised when I could hold up my leg on the back wall, wow, did i just say that...ok so to sumarize yes sex is better and you notice the change right away, but sex is different also so your spouse may have to figure you out again.

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I just enjoyed the fact with WLS the fat around the base of it went away as well as my belly so every thing looks bigger. Now that is all a guy needs to "think" he is a stud.

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OMG RRK. Your little pic montage on the "tv" on your myspace had me giggling. BTW, congrats on the weight loss. Looking good!

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Take it easy. Your social environment, or lack of, may be playing a big part in attracting a partner. Is there a ample number of men to choose where you can meet someone? .....

Bob

I just had to say your response confused the hell out of me. LOL I've been married for 6 years..why would you tell me to avoid workplace relationships and change my social environment??? Don't think that's the prob, hun.

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I understand everything being said. My partner has a large sex drive since I have been ill. It is all I can do to try and keep him happy with other conventional ways but I can not wait to be with him. before surgery we had a temperpedic bed right before surgery we got a new platform bed and gave the roommate who was sleeping on the floor our bed. Well needless to say a standard mattress is not worth the pain my incisions are killing me and my side hurts in a normal bed in the temper it is much better. I can not wait to crawl into bed nexxt to him tonight. I really want to be with him but I do not know when that will be ok. I am finally keeping stuff down and I am also doing more protien. My hair is leaving me. But for the first time my hunny has seen me naked. You would think I would be ok with him seeing me naked in bed but I am not yet. I was wondering how long does one have to wait cus my hunny is hot and it is really hard to keep waiting.

I had my follow up appointment today. I inquired about how long I would have to wait to go back on the pill. My dr told me 6 weeks!

"I guess that's when I can have sex again as well?"

"Yes at six weeks." Then he laughed at the look on my face.

but here is my secret. I didn't wait. I didn't tell the dr that and it was only once because I would use four forms of birth control if I could:p

so very paranoid.

Every doctor is different. You know your body best. I've been extremly lucky and had very little post op pain. Just don't push yourself. I know that it's ha... um difficult. lol

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My goodness, I have so enjoyed this thread!!!

We women, for the most part, are pretty much killing the myth about women always saying they have a "headache." And, of course, that has a lot to do with our men, and how they make us feel.

The words "lust for life" cometo mind! :D

I think about the fact that I am the senior member of this group, and I giggle at the fact that I can keep up with you young 'uns!!! LOL Love it!

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lol Hello Kitty. I believe he "misquoted" and the comments were actually directed at the original poster. :P

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