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So scared of the future


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Maybe you will join many of us in the polar club.  I went from keeping our bedroom at 47 to putting on a sweatshirt if the temperatures drop below 80.  I use my car seat heater in the summer, lol!  Hubby and I got into a thermostat war Sunday in the car.  I had my side at 78, he kept lowering his, got down to 66, lol!  I used to hate heat, now I embrace it!

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7 hours ago, Cheesehead said:

Maybe you will join many of us in the polar club.  I went from keeping our bedroom at 47 to putting on a sweatshirt if the temperatures drop below 80.  I use my car seat heater in the summer, lol!  Hubby and I got into a thermostat war Sunday in the car.  I had my side at 78, he kept lowering his, got down to 66, lol!  I used to hate heat, now I embrace it!

Haha. Poor melting husband!

I might have to move to a warmer country! 

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10 hours ago, LadyDay said:

I might have to move to a warmer country!

I live in the Middle East and I'm currently wearing a (lightweight) merino sweater in my house :lol: I have a puffy down jacket in my office for those overly-cold-AC days. 

 

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6 minutes ago, Jen581791 said:

I live in the Middle East and I'm currently wearing a (lightweight) merino sweater in my house :lol: I have a puffy down jacket in my office for those overly-cold-AC days. 

 

So, you sit in your office, in the blistering hot Middle East, in a down jacket, because of the AC? Yikes! My boyfriend and I go on a yearly New Year visit with some friends to their cabin by the polar circle. I won't be able to leave the sauna while up there in the Arctic winter!!! :D 

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On 9/24/2019 at 11:51 AM, BurgundyBoy said:

LadyDay, my sleep apnea is gone. Gone. I no longer wake up with a racing heart, no longer am tired during the day, and my wife no longer is frightened by me failing to breathe during the night. 

If I snore now it is usually because I indulged in some grape-derived beverage, often Burgundy colored, after dinner. :rolleyes:

I'm late to the party, but wanted to chime in - my sleep apnea is also gone since surgery!  It's such a huge relief to be able to just go to sleep without all the tubes and masks and whatnot. Just being able to nap on the sofa if I feel like it is lovely.  :)

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On 10/2/2019 at 12:11 AM, LadyDay said:

I was just wondering about something you can probably answer by the way. After surgery, do you eventually become able to drink at a normal pace again? Or is it only small sips for life?

I think it varies from person to person.  I had RNY 2 years ago, and I've been able to drink normally since about 5 months after surgery.  I can chug water like a pro now.

On the other hand, I have a friend who had RNY 10 years ago who has to sip sip sip to this day. 

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1 minute ago, Kio said:

I think it varies from person to person.  I had RNY 2 years ago, and I've been able to drink normally since about 5 months after surgery.  I can chug water like a pro now.

On the other hand, I have a friend who had RNY 10 years ago who has to sip sip sip to this day. 

I'll keep my fingers crossed. A side effect of one of my medications is that I sweat a lot from any sort of physical activity (even a short, calm walk - lovely side effect :mad:), so I need a bit extra to keep hydrated, so eventually being able to down a glass of water would be nice.

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13 minutes ago, Kio said:

I'm late to the party, but wanted to chime in - my sleep apnea is also gone since surgery!  It's such a huge relief to be able to just go to sleep without all the tubes and masks and whatnot. Just being able to nap on the sofa if I feel like it is lovely.  :)

This is really good to know, in case I turn out to have it to some extend! I get the result of my test tomorrow and am a little nervous. I'd rather not have to sleep with a mask forcing air down my windpipe! 

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Good news. I don't have sleep apnea. The bad news is I don't even have a tiny bit of sleep apnea to guarantee me an operation. I'm desperate enough to have hoped for a little bit, as crazy as that is. Hopefully I qualify for surgery anyway. I need it.

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9 hours ago, LadyDay said:

Good news. I don't have sleep apnea. The bad news is I don't even have a tiny bit of sleep apnea to guarantee me an operation. I'm desperate enough to have hoped for a little bit, as crazy as that is. Hopefully I qualify for surgery anyway. I need it.

Well, um, congratulations and too bad. Be sure to get those orthopedic issues documented (you described those earlier) along with any family diseases like diabetes, hypertension, heart or kidney disease that you may be prone to acquiring. 

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On 10/9/2019 at 8:51 PM, LadyDay said:

So, you sit in your office, in the blistering hot Middle East, in a down jacket, because of the AC? Yikes! My boyfriend and I go on a yearly New Year visit with some friends to their cabin by the polar circle. I won't be able to leave the sauna while up there in the Arctic winter!!! :D 

It's blistering hot outside, but for some reason inside spaces are usually very cold, like 65F (17C) sometimes in my office.

I would imagine I might not want to leave the sauna if I were up by the arctic circle!

One awesome effect of lots of weight loss: my feet never hurt anymore. I can stand all day and feel comfortable. I can wear heels and feel comfortable. I can wear totally non-sensible shoes and have comfortable feet. It's great! :) 

Congrats and also sorry on the sleep apnea non-diagnosis. I hope through the various other factors you will be approved for surgery - it's a sad thing to have to hope for health problem so you can get approval :( 

Edited by Jen581791
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On 10/12/2019 at 7:56 AM, Jen581791 said:

It's blistering hot outside, but for some reason inside spaces are usually very cold, like 65F (17C) sometimes in my office.

I would imagine I might not want to leave the sauna if I were up by the arctic circle!

One awesome effect of lots of weight loss: my feet never hurt anymore. I can stand all day and feel comfortable. I can wear heels and feel comfortable. I can wear totally non-sensible shoes and have comfortable feet. It's great! :) 

Congrats and also sorry on the sleep apnea non-diagnosis. I hope through the various other factors you will be approved for surgery - it's a sad thing to have to hope for health problem so you can get approval :( 

Wow, yeah, that is pretty cold indoor temperatures. 

Being able to stand and walk for extended periods without pain, even in non-sensible footwear, will be great! And being able to move about better in general. I look up to you for your running. I have a small dream of being able to run someday. Not marathons, but just being able to go for a jog. I think that's a good goal to have. 

Yeah, it feels weird and wrong to kinda ant a bit of illness, something that would go away with surgery and would guarantee the surgery in the first place. I just really, really ant this surgery so bad. I need this tool to help get my present and future health and life under control, on a lasting basis. Fortunately there's still a decent chance that I'll get approved I think, due to my weight exacerbating my mental health problems significantly and my BMI being over 40. So fingers crossed. 

Thank you for the support. This forum has really helped me sort things out. 

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On 10/13/2019 at 3:13 PM, LadyDay said:

I think that's a good goal to have. 

Any movement you can incorporate into your life as an enjoyable part of your routine is good. And while running absolutely sucks when you're heavy (believe me, I know), it's actually fun when you're lighter! You don't have to run marathons, though, unless you're a bit crazy and/or addicted to running. You can be extremely fit doing just a short run a few days a week. 

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4 hours ago, Jen581791 said:

Any movement you can incorporate into your life as an enjoyable part of your routine is good. And while running absolutely sucks when you're heavy (believe me, I know), it's actually fun when you're lighter! You don't have to run marathons, though, unless you're a bit crazy and/or addicted to running. You can be extremely fit doing just a short run a few days a week. 

That is my plan. To keep incorporating exercise in a way I actually enjoy. The exercise I'm currently getting is walking. And I am making progress. Thanks to getting out every day, I am able to walk further before the pain really sets in (back, knees and calves). I can gradually increase both speed/intensity and distance. Eventually, with less weight to carry around, I figure that can turn into short intervals of jogging, then longer. The sky is the limit. I want to bike too, once I move outside the city center. I take medicine that slows my reaction speed and makes it hard to keep an overview over multiple things at once, so I don't want to bike downtown! I like outdoor exercise. I can build these things up gradually, especially once I lose some of all this weight. But I've already started!

I'd like to get addicted to exercise too! 

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  • 1 month later...
54 minutes ago, tracyringo said:

@LadyDay how are you doing ?

Hi Tracy.

Thank you for asking. It's wonderful to be cared about! 

I'm just waiting and waiting for my appointments with the bariatric doctors in December and January, where they will decide if I qualify for WLS on the state. My first appointment is on the 9th, so not too far in the future. 

I was at my GP's office yesterday for another reason, but we also got to talk a little bit about WLS and she mentioned how I'm headed for an early grave if we don't find a way for me to lose weight and sustain it. She is just as convinced as me that WLS is the solution for me. She also mentioned that she's seen other patients with mental health problems (I have anxiety and depression) improve significantly after WLS. I hope and expect that would happen for me too. I am struggling with my self image a lot. I hate mirrors and my weight is constantly on my mind, especially if I leave the apartment and venture out into the world. I imagine these things will get better with weight loss.  

Otherwise I'm just trying my best to eat reasonably healthy, but regularly failing. I'm getting better at it though. I think I'll get some therapy focused on how to deal with it when I'm not feeling well without binging on sugar. Better coping strategies along with a diminutive stomach could very well do the trick. :) 

How are you?

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I am doing okay, thank you.  Losing the weight will help a lot with depression and you will feel so much better about yourself.  I also avoided mirrors.  I also didn't like having my picture taken or leaving the house.  Life isn't perfect but it is a lot better when you aren't constantly focused on the weight and beating yourself up.  I wish you the best and hope you get approved very soon.:)

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2 hours ago, tracyringo said:

I am doing okay, thank you.  Losing the weight will help a lot with depression and you will feel so much better about yourself.  I also avoided mirrors.  I also didn't like having my picture taken or leaving the house.  Life isn't perfect but it is a lot better when you aren't constantly focused on the weight and beating yourself up.  I wish you the best and hope you get approved very soon.:)

I hope and think you are right that it ill have significant positive impact on my mental state to lose the weight! 

I dread having my picture taken too! And I compare with pictures taken of me when I was a skinny teenager, happily smiling at the camera. How I wish I could get that healthy and beautiful body back! I didn't appreciate it at the time. 

Nah, nobody's life is ever going to be perfect. But I think weight loss will increase my quality of life tremendously! 

I am eager to tell you guys as soon as I know anything. Getting approved for this will obviously be one of the biggest things to ever happen to me, so I'll have to shout it to the world! :D

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  • 4 weeks later...

So, I had the first of two scheduled appointments with the doctors who are in charge of WLS. They don't make the decision about whether I can have WLS until the appointment on January 13th, but the doctor said that I don't really fit the requirements. I don't weigh enough to get the surgery purely based on BMI (you need a BMI over 50. Mine is 42.) and they are concerned if I have the psychological strength that it takes to have success with surgery like this. Even if I lose the weight I could develop another addiction in order to cope with emotional stress. T>he only thing I can do now is lose as much weight as I possibly can on my own. That shows that I have the motivation and ability to stick with a diet change. And I have to lose 8% of my bodyweight within 3 months even if they do decide that they want to offer me surgery, from today, before it can be done. 

So it's not likely that I can get an operation. I feel so defeated and scared of the future. I need to lose about as much wright as my girlfriends weigh for crying out loud, and maintain it. It seems hopeless without WLS. I just have to cling on to the remaining small chance that I'll get it and do my best to lose as much weight on my own as I possibly can, starting today. 

I'm so sad.

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@LadyDay, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. It sounds like the requirements are more strict in Denmark than in the US. But it also sounds like the door is not totally closed, and you still may have a chance. Maybe the doctor you saw today was over pessimistic? 

Hang in there! 

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2 minutes ago, Cindy Lou Who said:

@LadyDay, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. It sounds like the requirements are more strict in Denmark than in the US. But it also sounds like the door is not totally closed, and you still may have a chance. Maybe the doctor you saw today was over pessimistic? 

Hang in there! 

Yes, they are pretty darn strict. But you're right, there's still a chance. It'll be a different doctor evaluating me in January. Maybe (s)he will see that I am the perfect candidate for Vertical Sleeve. :) I just have to keep hoping and eat a lot of vegetables. 

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1 hour ago, LadyDay said:

So, I had the first of two scheduled appointments with the doctors who are in charge of WLS. They don't make the decision about whether I can have WLS until the appointment on January 13th, but the doctor said that I don't really fit the requirements. I don't weigh enough to get the surgery purely based on BMI (you need a BMI over 50. Mine is 42.) and they are concerned if I have the psychological strength that it takes to have success with surgery like this. Even if I lose the weight I could develop another addiction in order to cope with emotional stress. T>he only thing I can do now is lose as much weight as I possibly can on my own. That shows that I have the motivation and ability to stick with a diet change. And I have to lose 8% of my bodyweight within 3 months even if they do decide that they want to offer me surgery, from today, before it can be done. 

So it's not likely that I can get an operation. I feel so defeated and scared of the future. I need to lose about as much wright as my girlfriends weigh for crying out loud, and maintain it. It seems hopeless without WLS. I just have to cling on to the remaining small chance that I'll get it and do my best to lose as much weight on my own as I possibly can, starting today. 

I'm so sad.

I'm sorry you didn't get the news you were hoping for.  Is there any chance of doing it private pay?  Financing it and paying it off over time if necessary?  Not sure how that works in other countries, but it's kind of the American way of life :)

Not that I'm advocating debt, but if ever there was a good investment, your health and your future would be one worth considering.  If it comes to that.

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1 minute ago, msmarymac said:

I'm sorry you didn't get the news you were hoping for.  Is there any chance of doing it private pay?  Financing it and paying it off over time if necessary?  Not sure how that works in other countries, but it's kind of the American way of life :)

Not that I'm advocating debt, but if ever there was a good investment, your health and your future would be one worth considering.  If it comes to that.

To be honest I don't know how that works in the private sector and if it's possible to get a loan for it. My health is definitely worth investing in, but I'm on benefits because of my mental health making me unable to work, so I don't exactly have much money, so it might be hard to loan the money since they'd probably worry that I can't pay it off. I also already have a pretty sizable student loan, from the education my illness made me unable to finish. So I don't think I'd be a desirable candidate for financing of sorts. It's worth looking into of course though. 

It's hard to decide if I should listen to the doctors if they think surgery wouldn't be a good idea for me, considering my mental health. But I also can't help feeling like my weight is doing a lot of harm to my mental health. I hope I can convince them. I don't exactly feel like getting heavier and developing weight related illness before getting help!

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6 hours ago, LadyDay said:

But I also can't help feeling like my weight is doing a lot of harm to my mental health

Yes, there is that, unfortunately.  I wish you the best!!

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