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I'm a vsg veteran of 4 1/2 years and i consider myself to be a failure.  this stems from my denial that my binge eating disorder would be corrected via surgery.  i did wonderful for a year and half and lost 180 pounds and my lowest weight was 208.  however i was fool to think that i wasn't going to regain because i knew i was going to even before the surgery. 

all i do is think about food, when i'm going to eat and what am i going to eat.  my only hope to overcome binge eating is to get help but the va doesn't provide any. i reluctantly started new anti-depressants which makes me not care what i eat.  meds silence any inner voices of caution. 

i do not want to live as a fat man but i don't have a choice.

 

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Craig,

I can feel the pain in your post. I am so very sorry you are struggling. Is there any way you can get yourself into counseling, or an in person weight loss support group? This forum is wonderful, but sometimes you need to be in a room with others that are going through the same struggles you are. 

I hate to know that you see yourself as a failure. Food addiction is real. It's horrible. And it's strong. It's very similar to an addiction to drugs or alcohol. People have relapses with all kinds of addictions, and some folks can overcome the relapses and get to where they want to be. I pray that you can find a counselor that specializes in food addiction, I really think that would help you. We are always here for support, Craig. Please come here and talk to us. You are not alone ❤️

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@Nana Trish Thank you for the kind words.  I just have an emotional eating disorder which undermines all attempts at weight loss, but my current therapist who normally uses behavioral therapy is switching gears we are going to start to explore in depth why I eat.  My intuition tells me that this will work because reconciliation with myself comes naturally to me so once I understand myself (with her help) on a deeper then I don't think the desire to overeat will be as strong, but who knows. 

Plus, I've been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and the meds I take for that aren't helping my weight loss attempts so I've scaled them back and eventually will get off of them.  I'm a military vet and the only thing I'm considering taking after I get off these current meds is Ketamine - which the Veteran Affairs Administration are doing clinical trials with now and having success. President Trump signed a bill allowing the VA to purchase Ketamine in bulk now, thank god. It shouldn't be too long before I can try it and hopefully benefit from it. 

I should probably post more often in here and talk about it.  Most of the time me dealing with a binge eating disorder is an insurmountable obstacle. 

Again, I appreciate your support.  Thank you. :)

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Hey Craig.

thank you for your service.

I think I’m feeling similarly to you. my therapist is moving so we debriefed and she suggested I start a new path. EMDR. Don’t know anything about it but I’m looking into it.

i too believe I’m a food addict and I’m totally off the wagon right now. It’s so frustrating. I know what I should be doing but can’t make myself do it....

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12 minutes ago, Boston Redhead said:

Hey Craig.

thank you for your service.

I think I’m feeling similarly to you. my therapist is moving so we debriefed and she suggested I start a new path. EMDR. Don’t know anything about it but I’m looking into it.

i too believe I’m a food addict and I’m totally off the wagon right now. It’s so frustrating. I know what I should be doing but can’t make myself do it....

Sorry you are having a rough time.  I hope you are able to turn yourself around, many people are having a hard time right now I am sure.  Uncertainty of what is actually happening around us sends some of us to our comfort which is food.  

Are your stats correct ?  

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It's always worth trying a pouch reset. 

It used to be a 5 Day Pouch Test way back but it would seem that the 10 day (or longer) is proving more successful:  The Pouch Reset – Losing Weight After Weight Regain

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