Jump to content

Not easy but...


Recommended Posts

So i want to discuss something that is not easy for me to talk about. I don't know if I ever mentioned before but i have some mental health issues. I have bipolar borderline personality and anxiety. I have honestly been off meds since my original surgery in 2017. I have still continued my talk therapy. Well since January i have been fighting extreme depression. The symptoms i am experiencing are way different than before surgery. Where as before surgery i used food as comfort to cope. Now i am not eating at all. I have dropped a bunch more weight and now i am down to 110 pounds. I have no energy and no desire to eat. I finally found a psychiatrist that is taking my insurance and have an appointment next week. I am also having body image issues along with the depression. I constantly beat myself up over how i look. I am not happy and really don't know how to come out of this funk i am in. I feel like at 110 pounds i look extremely sickly. I want to gain a few pounds back to be comfortable again. I don't know if you all have any advice if not good vibes are welcome and thanks for  letting me rant.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly with all you have been through I don't know how you could NOT be depressed!  I think you are doing the very best thing, which is to get expert help.  In the meantime, stay away from mirrors and anything else that makes you feel bad about yourself.  Focus on positive things, like your son.  Make sure to get your protein and fluids every day, no matter what.  Even if it's shakes instead of food.  Do it.  It may take awhile to get to "happy" but please take care of yourself.  You have come too far to give up now!

Link to post
Share on other sites

My heart goes out to you for all you have been through since WLS. I’m also bipolar. After surgery, I experienced higher rates of depression and anxiety. To make a long story short, I increased my dosage of lamictal. Lamictal (Lexapro, Ativan and xanax are also in my cocktail) has been a godsend for me. Talk to your new doc about getting on meds for you BPD. make sure to let her/him know that you had a challenging time with surgery and this may impact your ability to absorb the meds. 

I hope you are able to find relief for your mental health concerns. @Nana Trish, care to chime in?

Link to post
Share on other sites

@NerdyToothpick and I have both dealt with higher rates of depression and anxiety since WLS. I’m bipolar as well. Like Nerdy, I was also taking Lamictal for my bipolar symptoms, and needed to increase my dosage after surgery. Unfortunately, I started experiencing some weird side effects from the Lamictal and had to stop taking it completely. My doc started me on Seroquel, and I had a horrible reaction to that, so it was a no go. Other than Xanax, I’ve been unmedicated for some time now too. I haven’t slept for weeks now, and that definitely increases depression. You are definitely not alone in this, @ktallon

I think it is a top priority to get to the psychiatrist and get some meds on board. Like Nerdy suggested, make sure your new psych doc knows all about the challenges you’ve faced since your WLS with depression, as well as all of your other health problems that have hit you head on. Anyone that has been through what you have since your surgery would be depressed, but being bipolar and on no meds, you face unique challenges that most people probably can’t even begin to understand. I agree with @msmarymac about staying away from mirrors and anything else that makes you feel bad about yourself. The body image issues are something that a lot of us deal with. But when you’ve lost too much weight it can be a bit shocking to look in the mirror and try to wrap your head around that...especially after being obese for many years. Do not focus on that!! Focus your energy on getting some nourishment into your body. You are so strong!! You can do this as long as you keep fighting my friend!! Keep your son first and foremost in your thoughts when the dark feelings start to creep in. You’ve been through so much, and you have survived it all!! You will get through this too! Keep reaching out, whether it’s here or with your therapist and psychiatrist. We are ALWAYS here to listen and will do all we can to help you get through this ❤️

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Nana Trish said:

 

I think it is a top priority to get to the psychiatrist and get some meds on board. Like Nerdy suggested, make sure your new psych doc knows all about the challenges you’ve faced since your WLS with depression, as well as all of your other health problems that have hit you head on. Anyone that has been through what you have since your surgery would be depressed, but being bipolar and on no meds, you face unique challenges that most people probably can’t even begin to understand. I agree with @msmarymac about staying away from mirrors and anything else that makes you feel bad about yourself. The body image issues are something that a lot of us deal with. But when you’ve lost too much weight it can be a bit shocking to look in the mirror and try to wrap your head around that...especially after being obese for many years. Do not focus on that!! Focus your energy on getting some nourishment into your body. You are so strong!! You can do this as long as you keep fighting my friend!! Keep your son first and foremost in your thoughts when the dark feelings start to creep in. You’ve been through so much, and you have survived it all!! You will get through this too! Keep reaching out, whether it’s here or with your therapist and psychiatrist. We are ALWAYS here to listen and will do all we can to help you get through this ❤️

I totally agree with this.

We will always be here to support you. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...