bellamoma

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heyyyy everyone! 

It's been too long but i wanted to check on in and say hi to my friends at TT.  January 2019 marked 3 years for me.  I just finished my cosmetology program and passed my test. I start working in my new job this month!  Those are the good things.

Here are some of the challenges I've had of late: 

Around 2 years post op I started creeping up on the scale, even though i hadn't really changed what I ate.  That has been an ongoing struggle since then. I'm up about 15lb from my lowest post op and continue to fight to this day. 

I had a severe bout of depression come and knock me right on my a##. Am taking medications and working through it. 

Recently had confirmation that a recurring memory of childhood trauma for me was in fact, real. I had always hoped I was just imagining things, but. I wasn't.  Starting therapy for that. 

Am considering revision to bypass from my sleeve due to GERD.  Kicking myself for not listening to my surgeon in the first place!!!

That's the smallest nutshell I could put things in. I've been struggling a bit, but it's nice to come on here to see familiar faces and to catch up on how you're all doing. So, tell me.  How are you???

xo 

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@bellamoma Congrats on your 3 year surgiversary and the new job !!

Sorry you are struggling with the regain.  Since you have not changed your eating habits, do you think this could be menopause?  I ask this because I started going through it in my late 40s and my weight went up.

@Kim M had revision to RNY not too long ago for the GERD.  I also have it but hope I never have to have a revision.

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thanks for your reply, tracy! YES YES YES i believe that most of my current issues with depression and weight gain are because of menopause.  I do believe that some of the regain was muscle that I needed, but at this point it is far beyond muscle.  It is incredibly frustrating.  I hope you don't need revision, either! 

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Welcome back!  Could the regain be because of meds?  Life is good here.  I’m seriously looking forward to spring!  At least most of our snow is gone!  So sorry to hear about the GERD!  

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3 hours ago, bellamoma said:

thanks for your reply, tracy! YES YES YES i believe that most of my current issues with depression and weight gain are because of menopause.  I do believe that some of the regain was muscle that I needed, but at this point it is far beyond muscle.  It is incredibly frustrating.  I hope you don't need revision, either! 

What is happening with your GERD now to make you think it is revision time?  Have you been on the same meds since surgery for GERD?

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5 hours ago, bellamoma said:

heyyyy everyone! 

...

That's the smallest nutshell I could put things in. I've been struggling a bit, but it's nice to come on here to see familiar faces and to catch up on how you're all doing. So, tell me.  How are you???

xo 

So good to hear from you! And congratulations on the program and job! 

Depression sucks. Best of luck with that, it is a curse. And a bump up from a nadir weight is... normal. Struggling with the same. Being 15 up is very different than being at your former 217, especially if it is (healthy) muscle. So good to hear from you!

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Welcome back.  :)

I am very sorry to hear to hear about your recent problems. 

I had some GERD before my gastric bypass, so I know that it is not pleasant. I have not had any GERD since my bypass. 

We are here to support you.  Weight loss surgery can be very positive, but the struggle to keep off the extra weight and be healthy never ends. 

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@BurgundyBoy and @Res Ipsa thanks gents. i have a special soft spot for new englanders (sigh- first love)  you guys are no exception! thank you for the kind words. means a lot.  xo

 

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@tracyringo for my GERD: i was on 3 different meds post op, it was so bad- zantac (max dose) nexium (max dose) and even reglan, an anti-nausea med.  I was very slowly able to come off of zantac and reglan. i have tried many times to wean off of nexium but just cannot.  I tried to replace the nexium with zantac which also didn't work.  My concern is long term use of nexium.  I've been on it for 14 years. It's not meant to be taken that way, and there are more and more studies coming out highlighting the problem of taking nexium long term.  

My bariatric surgeon suggested gastric bypass as his first choice for me because of my GERD and its severity as seen on my endoscopy.  I really, really, really didn't want a bypass so i kind of plead my case for VSG.  he had hoped that once my weight came off that there would be less interabdominal pressure, therefore no more GERD.  I should have known better.  I take a lot after my grandmother, who was a little peanut and had GERD no matter what she did.  

Long story long, I am very concerned with the fact that i am unable to survive without nexium, which is not recommended for long term use. I also continue to have symptoms (like right now) even though I am on the max dose.  I am going to have an endoscopy done, probably this month, to make sure I'm not eroding my esophagus so much that i'm at risk for cancer. that's why I a have revision surgery on the brain.  xo 

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My surgeon prescribes Protonix for six months after the sleeve. I’ve had no more reflux issues since.

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Congrats on your three years out! 15 pounds up is not the end of the world, and if you're dealing with meds/menopause/etc, it's pretty normal, I think. You're still very much in the healthy zone, and you know what to do to fight it. The GERD sounds really un-fun. I think whatever you can do to keep from damaging your esophagus is good, and if that means revision, so be it. 

I'm so happy to hear that you're done with your program and starting a new job. What an exciting time :) 

Thanks for checking in, @bellamoma. You're one of my inspirational figures from this wonderful site. I love it when you catch us up on what you're up to.

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15 hours ago, Cheesehead said:

Welcome back!  Could the regain be because of meds?  Life is good here.  I’m seriously looking forward to spring!  At least most of our snow is gone!  So sorry to hear about the GERD!  

I'm on a new antidepressant that is weight neutral in studies.  i haven't found it to affect my appetite like celexa did many years ago.  with celexa, i could not stop eating and gained 70lb in 6 mos!! this time i am very very aware and if i find my appetite to be uncontrollable, i will ask for a different medication.  i believe menopause is the culprit. 

 

I'm so glad that life is good for you! autumn is my favorite but i wish we could skip to spring right from there! sunshine is lovely, isn't it!!!? Thanks for checking in with me, I've always been so inspired by you xo

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@Jen581791 hey!! congrats on your amazing success story! i'm humbled that you find me inspirational xooxoxoox 

 

 

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Bellamoma,

I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles both with weight and trauma. Therapy (if you find a good therapist) will be your best friend while you are navigating the trauma. Im glad to hear you are starting therapy for that. If you ever need an ear, I’m a very good listener ❤️

With the regain, like Jen said, 15 pounds is definitely not the end of the world. At this point in my life, I’m truly thanking the good Lord that I had a total hysterectomy at 29, and I’ve long since been through menopause. But from everything I’ve seen posted on Facebook from all of my non WLS friends who are now going through it, it is definitely causing weight gain. So if it’s causing it in non WLS women, I can only imagine it would hit us harder. But the GERD...ugh, I’m really sorry. I don’t think a revision is anyone’s first choice, but that would be a good reason to have one. I have been on omeprazole since my surgery almost 2 years ago. I wasn’t having any acid issues at first, but then my heart doc put me on blood thinners, so my bariatric surgeon wanted me to stay on it to protect my stomach. Now they are rethinking the blood thinners, so maybe I might be able to stop taking the omeprazole soon. 

I’m sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers that you can get through these trials well ❤️❤️❤️

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TRISH! i almost cried tears of joy seeing your pic! you have smashed your WLS in spite of the many obstacles put in your way.  I am beyond happy for you!!! ps- you look so stunning!!! 

thanks so much for the kind words of support. there is a saying in spanish- take it easy, but take it. that's what i'm doing.  putting one foot in front of the other and pushing through. trying to remain grateful for the things i have. my boys are amazing. my husband is great. i have a roof over my head and clothes to wear. i have to be grateful.  

i will keep ya'll posted. it's so nice to hear from you guys. i've missed you ! 

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@bellamoma, welcome back! And I'm sorry about your challenges. You've come to the right place for support, that's for sure! I admire you for your 3 year go of it! I know the regain must be frustrating, but maybe make a goal of staying the same for a few months, before you try to start edging the scale back down again. Maybe it won't seem so frustrating if you have some success? You are still doing AWESOME, BTW! 

Keep us posted! 

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So good to hear from you!  Regain is a constant threat post-op for many of us and menopause really does factor into that.  The important thing is you are taking control early on before it gets out of control.

GERD...how I hate thee.  I started having it a couple of years ago, and have been on Nexium since.  I too, have tried going to Zantac instead because of the issues with long-term PPI use but just don't get relief.  In fact, in January when I was doing a medical mission in Haiti and forgot my Nexium I would wake up choking on acid in the night...not fun.  So, I finally went and had an EGD and an Upper GI.  Turns out I have developed a pretty significant hiatal hernia which was not there when I had my sleeve.  Now my decision becomes, do I fix the hernia and hope that solves the GERD or just go for a revision, instead of risking that the repair might not get me off the Nexium.  Really don't want revision, but don't want 2 surgeries either.  Fortunately I don't have inflammation or erosion so the Nexium is doing it's job.  Currently I am making no decision in that area as I have a rotator cuff repair scheduled later in April and that's enough surgery to think about for now lol.

Again, so good to hear from you, keep on putting one foot in front of the other!

 

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@Cindy Lou Who the grinch is one of my fave movies of all time, i love your handle! THANK YOU for the sweet words.  it's been so nice hopping on here and feeling the love.

 

@msmarymac haha for me it's oh, menopause, how i hate thee!  it's amazing how just like the weight just flew off post op, it just suddenly flew back on! it's maddening but i am grateful i still fit in my clothes. i do believe some of it was much needed muscle, but i sure would like to come down a bit more to feel comfortable.  I hope you're able to figure out the best decision for you as far as your GERD goes. I have a feeling my endoscopy will look a lot like yours and i'll be in the same boat of having to figure out what the next step is. 

how excellent that you went on a medical mission! i can't imagine not having nexium though. omg.  keep me posted on your GERD situation! i'm so happy to hear from you !!! xo

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18 hours ago, bellamoma said:

@tracyringo for my GERD: i was on 3 different meds post op, it was so bad- zantac (max dose) nexium (max dose) and even reglan, an anti-nausea med.  I was very slowly able to come off of zantac and reglan. i have tried many times to wean off of nexium but just cannot.  I tried to replace the nexium with zantac which also didn't work.  My concern is long term use of nexium.  I've been on it for 14 years. It's not meant to be taken that way, and there are more and more studies coming out highlighting the problem of taking nexium long term.  

My bariatric surgeon suggested gastric bypass as his first choice for me because of my GERD and its severity as seen on my endoscopy.  I really, really, really didn't want a bypass so i kind of plead my case for VSG.  he had hoped that once my weight came off that there would be less interabdominal pressure, therefore no more GERD.  I should have known better.  I take a lot after my grandmother, who was a little peanut and had GERD no matter what she did.  

Long story long, I am very concerned with the fact that i am unable to survive without nexium, which is not recommended for long term use. I also continue to have symptoms (like right now) even though I am on the max dose.  I am going to have an endoscopy done, probably this month, to make sure I'm not eroding my esophagus so much that i'm at risk for cancer. that's why I a have revision surgery on the brain.  xo 

I take Dexilant 60 mg and have asked to have it dropped to 30 mg.  I still have heartburn at times but I don't wake up choking on acid anymore.  I do think about taking this medicine for life and the effect it may have on me also.  I was told to go get a bone scan to make sure the Dexilant isn't making my bones brittle?  Anyways it sounds like we are in the same boat as far as not being able to get of the acid blockers.  Keep me posted please and Good Luck.

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11 hours ago, bellamoma said:

TRISH! i almost cried tears of joy seeing your pic! you have smashed your WLS in spite of the many obstacles put in your way.  I am beyond happy for you!!! ps- you look so stunning!!! 

thanks so much for the kind words of support. there is a saying in spanish- take it easy, but take it. that's what i'm doing.  putting one foot in front of the other and pushing through. trying to remain grateful for the things i have. my boys are amazing. my husband is great. i have a roof over my head and clothes to wear. i have to be grateful.  

i will keep ya'll posted. it's so nice to hear from you guys. i've missed you ! 

Bellamoma, you’re so sweet!! Thank you for the beautiful compliments ❤️ That pic was taken with Snapchat, lol...I don’t have pink hair or the nose ring :) I feel like I’ve done well so far...just praying maintenance continues on like it has and I’m not fighting off regain sometime in the not too near future, as the 2 year mark seems to be a tough spot for a lot of folks. 

Putting one foot in front of the other is what you’ve gotta do. I’m glad you have things that you’re grateful for, it helps to keep that in mind when you’re struggling. Putting one foot in front of the other keeps you moving. That’s the important thing. If you’re standing still, you’re not making any progress. It may be a long road, but having that support at home is key. And we are always here for you!!! Please, PLEASE, keep us posted!! We’ve missed you too, and so glad to see you back!! 

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@nana trish ahahahahahahaha I didn't know that was a snapchat filter!!! omg that's hilarious.  I thought you were really feeling your new self and went all out! omg duh! that still doesn't change the fact that your face is slim and amazing. you are just amazing. xo 

 

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On 4/1/2019 at 9:03 PM, bellamoma said:

@BurgundyBoy and @Res Ipsa thanks gents. i have a special soft spot for new englanders (sigh- first love)  you guys are no exception! thank you for the kind words. means a lot.  xo

 

@Bellamoma 

Well, there you are in Philadelphia.... where Benjamin Franklin fled from Boston as a teenager... um, there are some people who think Philly MIGHT be part of New England in terms of culture ( by this I mean that Philly could expand to maybe consider NE culture, not the other way around) ... in these times of divisiveness it is comforting to read Franklin.

Your, um, well, minor points about depression.... no one in NE doesn't suffer from depression... how could one consider even a minor thing like our weather without being depressed?? Not possible to live here without that... It's clear that anyone who doesn't get depressed (about our weather) is off balance... that's TOTALLY NORMAL. Let me suggest that depression is TOTALLY NORMAL. 

There. We are with you.

By the way, have you noticed the recent increase in daylight and flowers springing up everywhere and birds singing and trees blossoming? Not to intrude into your negative mood, which is totally and completely normal, just wish to point out this unusual and weird and bizarre circumstance, which I understand is Seasonal. I am told it may recur. 

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@bellamoma, hello neighbor!  So glad you finished and passed your exam!  Way to go!  And do to it all while battling the depression and repression....kudos to you!  Good luck in your new job and definitely stick around here for support!  

Therapy/counseling will really help....not an easy thing to go through, but worth it in the end. Keep at it and work through it.  

As for the GERD, I took protonix and it was really helpful.  Once i got my sleeve it went away mostly (well after treatment for my. H Pylori and hiatal hernia repair) and for the first few months took it and then tried not taking it and realized i was fine (well, an occasional bout of heart burn but nothing 2 chewable tums couldn’t cure!)  hope you get relief!

 

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On 4/3/2019 at 8:59 AM, bellamoma said:

@nana trish ahahahahahahaha I didn't know that was a snapchat filter!!! omg that's hilarious.  I thought you were really feeling your new self and went all out! omg duh! that still doesn't change the fact that your face is slim and amazing. you are just amazing. xo 

 

You know, it’s funny...you really are not the first person to think that pic is real! Lol :) My youngest daughter would absolutely LOVE it if I did all of that...she colors her hair regularly, and she has a couple of nose rings. I actually look a lot like her in that pic! :D

Again, thank you so much for the compliments, they really make me feel good!! 

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On April 5, 2019 at 6:50 PM, CheeringCJ said:

@bellamoma, hello neighbor!  So glad you finished and passed your exam!  Way to go!  And do to it all while battling the depression and repression....kudos to you!  Good luck in your new job and definitely stick around here for support!  

Therapy/counseling will really help....not an easy thing to go through, but worth it in the end. Keep at it and work through it.  

As for the GERD, I took protonix and it was really helpful.  Once i got my sleeve it went away mostly (well after treatment for my. H Pylori and hiatal hernia repair) and for the first few months took it and then tried not taking it and realized i was fine (well, an occasional bout of heart burn but nothing 2 chewable tums couldn’t cure!)  hope you get relief!

 

hey there CJ!!!! thank you so much! i was hoping my GERD story would be like yours. Sadly it's  not.  I see my GI doc tomorrow!

congrats on your success with the surgery! your waist is tiny!!! xo

Edited by bellamoma

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