tracyringo

Family by the Ton series on TLC

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18 hours ago, Cindy Lou Who said:

i love this! I agree wholeheartedly. I'm currently in the first phase of afraid I'll gain it back. But I can see in the future that hopefully, as I'm successful keeping it off, I'll be the second phase where I'm "normal" so it's no one's business. 

I'm currently working for a new client whose employees only know me at goal weight. It's fun to think that they  probably just see me as a normal, fit person! ;) Yesterday one of them said, "Oh yeah, you're like a cool soccer mom." Hahahahaha!!! If they only knew! :lol:

Where I work now I’ve only been at goal weight.  I’m the one who “eats healthy”.  My boss thought I had an eating disorder, lol!  We also had an all about me board.  I put up a picture of “before me”.  I was asked a couple of times if that was my sister, lol!  Yep, my evil twin!  While there are a couple of girls I could point in the direction of wls, (one asked me if I had it, nope).  When she tries keto I encourage her. We all have to find our own paths..

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On 3/9/2019 at 9:08 AM, Cindy Lou Who said:

I'm definitely with @Nana Trish, but for both shows. I tend to do better focusing on where I want to go (TT heroes, friends making healthy decisions, happy people) than where I want to avoid (reality shows). Just part of my personality. For me focusing on the positive pushes me up and looking on the negative makes me drift down. Reality shows depress me. 

I know exactly what you mean about the reality shows, @Cindy Lou Who. My 600lb life is the only one I think I've ever watched. And I'm not truly sure why I ever watched the first episode, to be totally honest. But once I did, I really do find that watching it, when I might be having a particularly rough day with cravings, or head hunger, or just sticking to plan...it helps to kick me back into the straight and narrow. And I have to truly be struggling to watch it. I can't just sit down and watch if I'm having a good day. I know, weird. But I think your approach is much healthier, lol...because these shows can be very depressing, and that's not good for anybody.

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26 minutes ago, Nana Trish said:

I know exactly what you mean about the reality shows, @Cindy Lou Who. My 600lb life is the only one I think I've ever watched. And I'm not truly sure why I ever watched the first episode, to be totally honest. But once I did, I really do find that watching it, when I might be having a particularly rough day with cravings, or head hunger, or just sticking to plan...it helps to kick me back into the straight and narrow. And I have to truly be struggling to watch it. I can't just sit down and watch if I'm having a good day. I know, weird. But I think your approach is much healthier, lol...because these shows can be very depressing, and that's not good for anybody.

I don't find them depressing. I do find them a good reality check though especially when others are trying to convince me that "just a small serve of XYZ won't hurt me". Even moreso when these folk are bariatric patients themselves that have significant weightgain.....and boy do I know a lot of them!!! I'm not yet at a point where I feel comfortable just responding with a "and how did that work for you?" line, despite the fact I often find their behaviour and comments quite rude. However, I can watch these shows.... admittedly sometimes yelling at the TV....and reassure myself that I've actually made the permanent lifestyle changes the bariatric surgeons on these show tell their patients to make. I can see how those the show focuses on often delude themselves both before and after surgery....and I'm reassured that I know that isn't me. If I'm starting to see old habits sneak back in, then these kinds of shows very quickly snap me back into the reality of where those habits might take me.

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I am always slapped back to reality when I see them.  I am blown away when they are laying on their bed eating fried chicken and chips and think “I can’t ever let myself lose control again”. I get so sad for them and know how hard it is to control on your own (though honestly 600# is so unbelievable I don’t know how they cope. I’d give up (quite literally)

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36 minutes ago, Aussie Bear said:

I don't find them depressing. I do find them a good reality check though especially when others are trying to convince me that "just a small serve of XYZ won't hurt me". Even moreso when these folk are bariatric patients themselves that have significant weightgain.....and boy do I know a lot of them!!! I'm not yet at a point where I feel comfortable just responding with a "and how did that work for you?" line, despite the fact I often find their behaviour and comments quite rude. However, I can watch these shows.... admittedly sometimes yelling at the TV....and reassure myself that I've actually made the permanent lifestyle changes the bariatric surgeons on these show tell their patients to make. I can see how those the show focuses on often delude themselves both before and after surgery....and I'm reassured that I know that isn't me. If I'm starting to see old habits sneak back in, then these kinds of shows very quickly snap me back into the reality of where those habits might take me.

That is exactly the reason why I still watch an episode here and there. I know I've made the changes necessary to be successful at this. But that doesn't mean I don't still struggle occasionally. And when I do, watching an episode of My 600lb Life DOES snap me back into reality. I can't imagine having to deal with people always trying to convince me it's ok to have a small this or that...I'd have a hard time not telling them off after a while. You're a better person than I am, @Aussie Bear, lol :) 

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On 3/9/2019 at 8:17 AM, Cheesehead said:

 While there are a couple of girls I could point in the direction of wls, (one asked me if I had it, nope).

Thanks for this, @Cheesehead! This is a situation I hadn't thought of so haven't prepared myself yet. What to do if someone come out and asks if I'd had WLS? 

I've already decided that, at least for now, I am only telling my husband, sons, and my four closest girlfriends (whom I've had for over 40 years.)  Everyone else, when they ask what I'm doing to lose weight, I tell I'm attending Weight Watchers meetings, which I am. BUT, what if someone comes out and asks me point blank if I'd had WLS? 

Hmmm. Better prepare for this before it happens, or I'll stammer along and have no choice in the matter! 

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Two thoughts:

TV shows love the dramatic, so a show about a family's inability to keep weight off is just sensationalism. Bah. Just think how boring a show would be of a family or persons who lose weight, keep the majority of it off, and live happily ever after. But that would be by far the more common result for people after weight loss surgery. 

And, in the long run, this is a 90% head game. The surgery only changes your intestines (and some of your hormonal and metabolic machinery) but you have to make good choices on a daily basis. In my case I know that I have to get some at least moderate amount of exercise during the week too. 

___________________

I just came back from a long trip to East Africa and I almost dread the flight meals... all carbo stuff. (I forgot to pre-order meals for diabetics, which are usually protein and veg and light on the carbs). I packed protein bars and when meal times came around, ate them instead of the garbage they serve. I chose my hotel on the basis of its having lots of high protein foods at breakfast and a good gym. No, I wasn't perfect for the last couple of weeks, but we should never let the good be the enemy of the perfect. 

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7 minutes ago, BurgundyBoy said:

TV shows love the dramatic, so a show about a family's inability to keep weight off is just sensationalism. Bah. Just think how boring a show would be of a family or persons who lose weight, keep the majority of it off, and live happily ever after.

True. :lol:

However, after I read about 600 lbs life and this ton-family stuff I looked episodes up on YouTube and wondered why so many users on WLS boards seem to use these shows as "warnings" or "inspiration to stick to plan" etc. when the majority of users on the boards never was at such a high weight.

I personally can't relate to very extreme cases. It's not part of my world. It's like watching a documentary about extreme cases of anorexia nervosa where people with a BMI of e. g. 13 can be seen. 

I'm sure it would be different when watching a documentary about exercise junkies of normal weight (been there, done that) or about WLS patients with a BMI between 40-50. However, I guess this would be too boring to put on TV.

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12 hours ago, summerset said:

...looked episodes up on YouTube and wondered why so many users on WLS boards seem to use these shows as "warnings" or "inspiration to stick to plan" etc. when the majority of users on the boards never was at such a high weight.

Well, perhaps in defense of the warnings, they may be focusing on the core need we all have to be mindful and to take to mind the message that the surgery is only part of what is required ... the circumstances for these persons who are so very heavy, and have such a difficult time not regaining weight, deserve our empathy (if not our sympathy as well). The emotional drivers, and social environments we live within, are so very powerful! There are lots of scientific studies showing that the people we associate with are important to our success or failure after surgery. 

To use a literary analogy, if you read a Balzac novel you are often reading a morality tale, a story with an ending that is foretold by the good or bad decisions that people make along the way. In this case I do not think it is a moral tale we are exposed to, but rather a story where the helpful environment and support may not be present. If you siblings, spouse, and parents and friends are quite obese, then you are surrounded by people who are less likely to be helpful when you are trying to decide between a good or bad decision. 

I totally agree with you that these circumstances of such an high weight are uncommon.... but sometimes the extremes inform us as to the risks we run. 

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1 hour ago, BurgundyBoy said:

Well, perhaps in defense of the warnings, they may be focusing on the core need we all have to be mindful and to take to mind the message that the surgery is only part of what is required ... 

I totally agree with you that these circumstances of such an high weight are uncommon.... but sometimes the extremes inform us as to the risks we run. 

My mother, and her mother, had a saying that they pulled out regularly, "There but for the grace of God go I". While I can not imagine ever allowing myself to become as big as the people these shows highlight, and I never in my life had anyone that would enable that to happen, it's a very graphic representation of just how far things can go, and how comorbidities pile up on top of each other very quickly. My inability to become an enabler myself has already been tested in my lifetime...and I walked calmly away with no sense of guilt whatsoever. In my case it was for a drug addict though rather than a food addict.

The thing that really stands out for me when I watch these shows is just how manipulative these immobile super morbidly obese people actually are....and they all are. At what point does anyone develop that sense of entitled aggression, that as completely immobile people, they can actually force loved ones to have to perform the most intimate tasks for them that their size no longer allows them to do for themselves....let alone force those people to continue killing them by throwing tantrums to an extent we aren't actually shown, but they must be horrendous to force loved ones into continuing to feed them the unhealthy food they desire and in amounts everyone knows are inappropriate.  I can not wrap my head around these people, both the super morbidly obese and their enablers.....I just know these shows keep my head in my own game, which is exactly where my head needs to be.

...and @summerset, I'm not shying away from using the term "pigs" particularly in regard to those featured on My 600lb life... Not only do they eat like pigs, they squeal like pigs yelling at their families forcing them to feed them,  thirdly they can't even clean themselves let alone their surroundings, and finally all their skin infections and fungi let alone their soiled nappies would have them smelling like pigs. To me "pigs" seems a more than adequate descriptor. 

Edited by Aussie Bear

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