Kio

Hi guys

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Sorry it's been so long since I've posted - I've been here as often as I can to drop in and read a few posts, but mostly I've been dealing with life stuff.  Sad stuff, so be warned.  Skip this if you need to.

We had a very rough few months with Sadie's health - I was basically babysitting 24/7.  (For those of you who don't know me, Sadie is my dog, inherited from my dad when he passed a few years ago).  She developed a slipped disk in her neck and had a lot of pain - we had her on a ton of meds that kept her MOSTLY pain free, but they weren't good for her (one of them was a steroid).  We couldn't leave her alone in the house, so we were all only able to leave in shifts.  When I say we couldn't leave her alone... there were some weeks where I only got a shower after a couple of days (good thing I work from home!).  It's been... incredibly stressful.  I had to get up with Leah at 5:30 every morning because we couldn't let Sadie be alone after she left for work, and up until 11 or later trying to do the things I wasn't able to do while Sadie was awake.  We've all been on high alert for yelps or signs of pain basically all day - I think I've been listening for it even in my sleep.  I'm sorry to have to tell you all that we made the hard choice to put her down this weekend. 

We gave her the best last day imaginable.  We took her for the walks she was not supposed to go on, we got her a chicken sandwich of her very own from Burger King, she had chocolate (which she had never been allowed but ALWAYS wanted), she had whipped cream, and a peanut butter ice cream treat.  We piled onto the sofa together and watched a movie, gave her lots of scritches and hugs, and let her lick us right on the mouth (the ultimate goal of her life).  We coddled her completely and she knew she was loved and I think she was really happy to be surrounded by us and to be getting every single thing she wanted.

I feel horrible about it, though I do think it was the right thing to do - I just feel a lot of guilt, because I am sure part of the decision came from how exhausted and wrung out I've been.  We just were not able to justify the cost of surgery for her when the outcome was in doubt, and when even with successful surgery she'd be severely restricted in activities for the rest of her life.  No walks, no running or playing, no going up or down stairs, no jumping up on or down from furniture, nothing - and even with successful surgery, those restrictions would have applied forever.  I think it was right... but I still have a lot of guilt.  

I haven't been to the gym in months, and I haven't really been eating well.  For the past few months I've had to work downstairs, and the only available work space was right next to the fridge.  :/  I haven't gained, and I haven't lost.  I was 166 at my last update a couple of months ago, and I'm 167 this morning - I've been bouncing around between this weight and 172ish the whole time, but I'm on the way back down.  I've managed to wrench myself back on track for the most part - I've moved my office back upstairs, away from super easy snack access, and I even got on the treadmill yesterday! But doing things that are good for me because I no longer have Sadie is also really sad.  I miss her a lot, and I really wish she were still here with us.  She was such a good dog, so smart and so many opinions and funny little ways about her.  She was sweet and adorable and has had such a rough year, it's just not fair. 

Sorry, I'm just rambling on.  I mainly wanted to let you all know I'm still here and working on getting my head back in the game.  I miss you all and all your constant support and love.  I'll be back more often now. 

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Oh @Kio...I sure picked a good day to check in here, as things have been keeping me away for entirely too long lately. 

I cant entirely express my condolences for your loss of sweet Sadie :unsure: I’ve been in your place with my dog, and it’s utterly heartbreaking. I’m sending prayers and good juju to you straight from my heart, my friend. 

When we have “advanced” knowledge of our fur baby’s upcoming sadness, it’s just the best thing ever to give them that great last day of treats and special times. When I lost my puppers 4 years ago, it happened very quickly...72 hours, from start to finish...so no time for that last bonding experience. I’m so happy that you had that time ❤️ I still suffer from the guilt, of having to put our Bear down, every day, even though he was suffering terribly and I couldn’t let him live like that anymore. Please try to be at peace with your decision to help end her life with dignity, and don’t beat yourself up over it. I truly pray for a time that we as humans can make that choice for ourselves and loved ones to stop needless suffering when the time comes. 

Youve been under tremendous stress, and the diet stuff will always suffer when things are this emotionally draining. You WILL get back on track. Just don’t waste a lot of time beating yourself up over weight issues in this moment. You’ll get there ❤️ Sending lots of love and hugs your way. Hang in there, @Kio ❤️❤️❤️ It will get better!

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I know it will be hard to take in or internalize, but try to take it from someone who's objective -- You did the most loving thing that you could have done for that poor creature by giving her some peace.

I know how you feel, I come from a family with lots of dogs around all the time.

Sounds like you are in the right mental place for getting a little more focused on your weight or eating habits. Give yourself some room and time to breathe :-) A few small changes, here and there, will see you back on track.

Sending peaceful thoughts your way :-)

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My heart goes out to you Kio.  I'm in the same place with my beloved Meg. 

Long story short, she was diagnosed with a tumor in her heart.  The vet said that she wouldn't reach her next birthday - that came and went 3 years ago this coming January.  She's not in pain, still eating, terrorizing the local squirrel population and enjoying life so I go with it but not a day goes by when if she so much as sneezes, my heart leaps into my mouth.

You did what you had to do.  Sadie knew she was loved but it was her time and from the sounds of it, you gave her a wonderful last day ... that would be my wish for all furbabies ... hugs to you all.

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What a beautiful last day full of love for your sweet Sadie.  I know that I will face this decision at some point in the near future with my beloved Penny and only hope I can give her the same kind of loving send off. 

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@Kio, I think you made the very best decision for Sadie, and you gave her the best send-off possible. These kinds of events are the horrible dark days in the lives of pet-lovers, but all the other days leading up to them make it worth it in the end. I'm sending you a big hug and healing thoughts across the ether. 

Your diet and exercise will snap into place soon, I think. Maintaining while dealing with issues is really the blessing that WLS gives us - if this was a few years ago, I imagine the health outcomes would have been far worse for you, right? Don't beat yourself up. Just move ahead.

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Thanks everyone.  You guys are amazing as always.  I'm so lucky to have found this place! 

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Sadie was lucky to have you and Meg and Leah! She felt the love, I’m sure!!!  You gals gave her such an awesome last day. If I’m ever terminally ill, I want the same treatment including the chocolate and whipped cream!!! ;)  

i am sorry for your loss and those she’s irreplaceable, I know she will live on in your hearts and minds forever!  (((Hugs)))

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So sorry for your loss Kio.  *big hugs*

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I’m so sorry.  I’m sure Sadie knew she was loved.  It sucks to have to say goodbye to our fur babies.  

Hoping to see more of you back here!

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Sadie is pain free!! You made the correct decision!!! Now give yourself the same amount of attention you gave to Sadie!! Revolve your life around you!! Try it for as many months you did for Sadie. You will be doing it to memorize Sadie!:)

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So sorry for your loss of Sadie, and glad you're back. I've been through your pain with both my first baby (a Golden Retriever named Honeybee) and her daughter Nani Kela. I love the last day. We did that too, and it felt so good to give them joy and love when they were ailing. It's so hard, but I feel strongly that we are our pets caretakers.

The only thing worse than putting them out of extreme misery is not. My childhood cocker spaniel died crying in pain, and I'll never forget my dad saying that he had planned to take her in, but was a coward and she had to suffer for it. I vowed then, at 15 years old, that I'd never do that to an animal if I had clear guidance from a vet. 

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On 11/15/2018 at 11:05 PM, Cindy Lou Who said:

 

The only thing worse than putting them out of extreme misery is not. My childhood cocker spaniel died crying in pain, and I'll never forget my dad saying that he had planned to take her in, but was a coward and she had to suffer for it. I vowed then, at 15 years old, that I'd never do that to an animal if I had clear guidance from a vet. 

My husband absolutely refused to have our two dogs euthanased despite seeing the pain in the older one ( she had an aggressive malignant cancer excised while having major arthritic pain) and then the confusion and lack of mobility that our 6 month younger girl experienced after a sudden stroke that left her completely blind and incontinent....she was never able to cope with it. I know that part of his reluctance was due to his own terminal cancer diagnosis.....but it meant that when my husband suddenly passed away I then had to deal with my human children and organise the euthanasia of their childhood pets within days. Let alone having to care for three invalids prior to his death. The only part of that experience that I could reconcile in any positive way was having them all cremated and as a family being able to scatter all the ashes together.

Sending love Kio....it's never easy but it is the right thing to do for our loved companions in their time of need.

Edited by Aussie Bear
Autocorrect again!!!!!!

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Hi @Kio, sorry to hear this. I can relate; we had our beloved dog put to sleep about ten days ago after a lifetime of caring for him and loving him so much, and several months of wondering when we would have to make the decision. We also worked in shifts so there was nearly always someone home with him, just in case. It was so hard, and we miss him so much.

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@Kio I’m terribly sorry to hear about Sadie. How are you doing now that some time has passed?

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