pikuno

Having a tough time today...

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I think I'm just realizing that I'll never be able to eat the way I do now. So I'm binge eating and I'm struggling now to lose the last 5 to 7 pounds to get to my goal weight by September 15th. I binged again last night. I was thinking maybe I should just go on a liquid diet from now til then to see if I can lose it that way. By liquid diet I mean just protein shakes and water. I've been talking to my therapist about all this and I'm working on it. She thinks it's normal for me to be going thru this considering why I'm even getting wls. I just have to change my thinking about food but it's hard to do especially when I haven't had the surgery yet and I can still eat like this. Any tips would really be appreciated thank you!

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That's the double edged sword.  You're having the surgery because you don't want to eat like you do now.  But, if food is our comfort  it scares the crap out of us that OMG...I'm not going to be able to eat like this anymore!  Yikes!

Many go through this thought process pre-op but I will share a perspective from the maintenance side of surgery.  Life at a normal weight is so freaking wonderful!!! Mostly now I could eat anything I wanted to, although I do avoid many trigger foods, just out of wisdom.  I eat healthy foods in moderate portions.  OMG, I eat like a normal human! I have discovered that there is not a food on the planet that is better than the life I now live.  Is it difficult some days...heck yes!  Once in awhile I have the urge to stuff my face, particularly under times of great stress.  But, I pull out one of the other many coping skills I have developed and life goes on.  On one particularly stressful evening, I put on a swimsuit and paraded around my house in it (I was by myself lol) just to remind myself how far I'd come and where I wanted to stay.  It is a lot easier to binge in sweats on the couch than it is in a bathing suit on a treadmill :)

Point is, this is a wonderful gift you are giving yourself.  You are receiving far more than you are giving  up.  Hang in there!

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Ah yes I remember that girl.  I quit smoking and gained around 13 lbs before the surgery and I ate what I wanted when I wanted because I knew I wouldn't be able to after surgery.  I can tell you I do not miss eating that way.  I told myself it was for now not forever as far as things I would want on occasion and now that I am at goal I have those things in moderation.  Cant have it in the house though.  This is the best thing I have done for myself and I feel soooooooooo much better now and you will too.

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I really really sympathize. As @msmarymac said, it's the double edged sword of your crutch for coping being the thing you're trying to quit, so you need your crutch...

A couple of things that might help your brain: 

  1. Every pound you lose now is a pound you don't have to lose later, and never will have to lose again (unlike all those yoyo pounds I lost 23 times over). You'll get to your Goal Weight more quickly...
  2. The really tough restrictions aren't forever. When you get to your GW, you'll find your way around which foods you can eat from time to time. And the other things, you may not want anymore. I used to be a bread-aholic, but it just doesn't taste that great to me now. I can eat it, but surgery somehow fixed my brain into not NEEDING it. If there's some great bread, I may have a piece, but normally I choose not to so I can eat something else. Surgery will give you some strength there, most likely - if you learn to listen closely to your body.

Best of luck. It's harder now to not eat than it will be after surgery, so take heart. Post-op, you'll be astonished at how little you need.

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What you're going through in your head now is the hardest time before or after surgery. I remember being REALLY grumpy and hungry before my surgery on the all liquid diet days. Then afterwards it is SO much easier to eat right and eat the right amount. I sincerely do not miss ANY foods. I feel like for the first time in my life I can literally eat whatever my heart desires. And now I can hear what my heart really desires, instead of bingeing on volume for stress reasons. It's such a relief. The only thing I make myself do is listen to when I'm full. That's what I'm still working on. 

Your tastes will change for what you crave. I can't remember the last time I craved pizza or fast food. And this week, I craved deviled eggs so I made them with yogurt instead of mayo, and it was SO satisfying. I know it sounds crazy, but I'll take it! It will come to you too. 

Try not to binge. Not because you'll gain weight, but because it's ultimately harmful to your psyche. Be so so kind to yourself. You deserve it. You are putting yourself first with this surgery, and you deserve to be treated well. Come to this site if you are feeling panicky. There are lots of nice people here. You got this! 

 

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