Cheesehead

Body image

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It’s been 5 years.  We are going on vacation in a couple weeks.  So today during our blizzard I start dragging out summer clothes.  Holding them up I have a panic attack.  “These will never fit!!”  So I start trying them on.  And guess what!?  They fit.  Will this never end?  Will I always think they are too small?  Haven’t tried the shorts on but the shirts fit.  I actually bought a pair of burmuda shorts this week thinking “what if last years shorts don’t fit?”  Will I always have this feeling that last seasons clothes won’t fit?

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I haven't lost that feeling Cheesehead and it's been 10 1/2 years since by bypass.

I haven't put weight back on but when I was shopping for some new jeans at Walmart last week, I did what I always do .... I picked up a second pair of jeans a size larger ... just in case.

In case of what?

The jeans were the same brand, same cut and same size of the jeans I was wearing so why did I feel it necessary to take a larger size to the changing room with me?  AND ............... why not a smaller pair?  That's what ticked me off more than anything.

 

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I'm nowhere near as far out as either of you two but I had the exact same feeling when I was ironing last week. Looking at clothes thinking they must have shrunk in the wash because I'd never get into clothes that size. Seriously......I wear those clothes often, and some are actually loose! I've only had one new blouse shrink when washed but no others....of course it had to be the most expensive and one I like the most. Truth be known some of my ironing is getting more challenging because I can no longer manipulate the ironing board into some clothes...I'll take it though as there is lots less fabric to iron....haha!!!!

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I have the same problem.  I am 4.5 years out and yet every morning I am convinced that my clothes will not fit.  I think that "I could not possibly fit into that shirt" and "Those pants are much too small" - and yet they fit as they have ever since I reached my goal weight.  

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Well, I'm only 3 months out, and I'm having the opposite problem. I pull clothes out of my drawer thinking, oh this will surely fit and it's HUGE!

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Oh we are destined to be tormented, one way or the other. It's like we are all actors in one of those ancient Greek plays. @cinwa  @Aussie Bear and @Cheesehead and @Res Ipsa having confessed to their individual circumstances, may suffer from this deep insecurity. Thankfully this is about weight, and not about sleeping with Mommy and other Oedipus stuff (blech). Those Greek plays can get pretty heavy. But this is deep, and very much like a Greek morality tale. Existential. How can I remain good?

My attention span is different, I can only focus on the moment. And all of the darn pants I bought a few months ago, when I thought I had ended my weight loss, are too big. Thankfully men's shirts are more forgiving if you lose a bit. (So the shirts I bought or had made for me are still okay). I'm  with @ubergirl right now, my recently purchased clothes are on the big side. Must confess the longer time goes on, the less I know where I will end up in terms of size, but since the general trend is to be smaller, I am happy. Maybe this shows how shallow I am, or only focused on the Now. Maybe with a couple more years under my belt after WLS my concerns would be more aligned with Cheesehead's post. So in sum this does not get to the core question @Cheesehead poses: will I have the feeling last year's clothes won't fit? and ... I am WAY too much a Newbie at only a year out to answer with confidence or experience. 

Am glad the Forum provides a space for the Adults to speak about this. 

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Here’s a lighter note! I was folding laundry and I thought my daughter’s shirt was mine. She wears a size 3T. Toddler. 

Seriously, I feel this way every time I put on a pair of jeans. I feel a momentary panic when I have to shift my loose belly skin in order to button my pants. I’m up two pounds and I am convinced that today will be the day that I am going to bust out of my clothes. That day hasn’t arrived and I hope it never does.  

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I was just folding laundry before I read this. I grabbed my bright orange jeans and thought, "These must have shrunk. I won't fit into them next time I want to wear them." But... actually they are a bit too big and I regret not buying a size smaller! :D All my clothes look tiny. But they all go on me just fine (some too big). It's quite a game our minds play with us. 

That reminds me that when I was big, I always cut the size tags out of my clothes so I wouldn't have to see that depressing data point every time I got dressed. As if that made any difference on the outside! Our brains are good at fooling us.

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7 hours ago, ubergirl said:

Well, I'm only 3 months out, and I'm having the opposite problem. I pull clothes out of my drawer thinking, oh this will surely fit and it's HUGE!

Early out I bought a belt and just kept cinching it up.  I didn’t realize I had shrunk so much until my old boss (she was horrible and I quit 4 years ago) yelled across a crowded dining room “Berres you need new pants”.  I started in a 22 or 24.  At that point I was in a 16.  The first year I bought a swimsuit for vacation in May.  Not thinking (I lost 50 more pounds by vacation in October), I packed that swimsuit for our October vacation, put it on and it hung on me (even the leg holes were huge).  

The weird thing is the shorts I bought this week are a size 4, my old shorts are a size 4; so why wouldn’t those fit?  

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@Cheesehead, I’m sorry to hear that this is still happening to you after 5 years. But your post raises a very good question. DOES it ever really end? I was hoping it would at some point, but I really don’t see how, and it’s a bit frustrating. I’ve only bought very few items of clothing on my way down the weight loss ladder, so I only had to do 2 closet purges so far. I don’t work outside the home, so I don’t need a lot of dressy/professional clothes. But shopping has still been a nightmare for me (for the most part) and I still feel very overwhelmed right now. The pants are easy...I’m a forever leggings or capris girl, and I’m in a small size now. It’s the tops. I’m uber particular with just how much “belly” I want visible through my clothing. The material can’t be too clingy and the top can’t be too short. So I’m still wearing large (or very occasionally medium), when I can easily fit into a small...except for my stomach. I always bring a small, medium and large of each top into the dressing room with me...and I can’t foresee a time when I won’t do that. 

This is one of those situations where, even though it sucks that you have to go through this after so many years, I’m so glad you posted about it so we know we are all in this together ❤️

Shifting gears a bit...where are you going on vacation??

Edited by Nana Trish

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16 hours ago, cinwa said:

I haven't lost that feeling Cheesehead and it's been 10 1/2 years since by bypass.

I haven't put weight back on but when I was shopping for some new jeans at Walmart last week, I did what I always do .... I picked up a second pair of jeans a size larger ... just in case.

In case of what?

The jeans were the same brand, same cut and same size of the jeans I was wearing so why did I feel it necessary to take a larger size to the changing room with me?  AND ............... why not a smaller pair?  That's what ticked me off more than anything.

 

I used to do that with my jeans in high school, before I ever even had a weight problem, @cinwa. I always took my size and the next size up into the dressing room with me. I think we are brainwashed at a young age to always envision the worst about our bodies, no matter what our size. I know in my case, I was never thin enough, even when I weighed 115 pounds (at 5’ 6”) on the first day of high school. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t think I was too heavy. Imagine my horror when I actually DID get heavy and found myself wishing I was the self labeled fat girl I used to be in my teens? These are the things I wish weight loss surgeons would incorporate into their pre op workup. I had to have a psych evaluation like most of us did prior to surgery. That would be the ideal time to talk about body image after weight loss, and at least get us thinking about it. 

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3 hours ago, Nana Trish said:

@Cheesehead, I’m sorry to hear that this is still happening to you after 5 years. But your post raises a very good question. DOES it ever really end? I was hoping it would at some point, but I really don’t see how, and it’s a bit frustrating. I’ve only bought very few items of clothing on my way down the weight loss ladder, so I only had to do 2 closet purges so far. I don’t work outside the home, so I don’t need a lot of dressy/professional clothes. But shopping has still been a nightmare for me (for the most part) and I still feel very overwhelmed right now. The pants are easy...I’m a forever leggings or capris girl, and I’m in a small size now. It’s the tops. I’m uber particular with just how much “belly” I want visible through my clothing. The material can’t be too clingy and the top can’t be too short. So I’m still wearing large (or very occasionally medium), when I can easily fit into a small...except for my stomach. I always bring a small, medium and large of each top into the dressing room with me...and I can’t foresee a time when I won’t do that. 

This is one of those situations where, even though it sucks that you have to go through this after so many years, I’m so glad you posted about it so we know we are all in this together ❤️

Shifting gears a bit...where are you going on vacation??

Vacation is Cayman Islands..hoping our foot of white stuff will be gone when we get back.  At least it will be warm there:).  Got my vitamins counted out and bagged, my books, and my protein bars packed- the important things!  Our time share is only 12 units and 3 of us have gotten to be friends and we go the same time every year.  I’ve had so much drama here I’m ready for a break.  I shut off my cell phone and I do not want to hear about drama on Facebook!  Then when we get back we have 6 weeks before daughter gets married..

i wear looser tops as I don’t want them clinging to my belly.  I pretty much stick with mediums.  I still stick to clearance racks as the choices are overwhelming.  I love getting shirts for $3-4.  

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12 minutes ago, Cheesehead said:

Vacation is Cayman Islands..hoping our foot of white stuff will be gone when we get back.  At least it will be warm there:).  Got my vitamins counted out and bagged, my books, and my protein bars packed- the important things!  Our time share is only 12 units and 3 of us have gotten to be friends and we go the same time every year.  I’ve had so much drama here I’m ready for a break.  I shut off my cell phone and I do not want to hear about drama on Facebook!  Then when we get back we have 6 weeks before daughter gets married..

i wear looser tops as I don’t want them clinging to my belly.  I pretty much stick with mediums.  I still stick to clearance racks as the choices are overwhelming.  I love getting shirts for $3-4.  

Oh wow!! Your vacation sounds heavenly!! You sound super organized...I think we would get along very well in real life, lol! You guys actually got a FOOT of snow?!? I guess we got off lucky here in upstate NY with only a coating of ice...

Oh God...don’t even get me started on Facebook!!! I’m lucky if I sign on 2 or 3 times a month now. I graduated high school over 30 years ago, yet every time I sign on to FB, it feels like I’m right back there again! Wayyyy too much drama for my liking. 

And your daughter is getting married? How exciting!! You certainly have a lot on your plate right now. I hope you thoroughly enjoy that vacation! 

Im so glad I’m not the only one that wears my tops on the looser side...I’m trying to balance not having them look too big, but not being tight on my belly at the same time. Not the easiest thing in the world to do, lol. I do not spend a lot of money on clothes, period...unless it’s a special occasion outfit. I’ll always shop clearance racks, lol. 

Edited by Nana Trish

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17 hours ago, Cheesehead said:

Early out I bought a belt and just kept cinching it up.  I didn’t realize I had shrunk so much until my old boss (she was horrible and I quit 4 years ago) yelled across a crowded dining room “Berres you need new pants”.  I started in a 22 or 24.  At that point I was in a 16.  The first year I bought a swimsuit for vacation in May.  Not thinking (I lost 50 more pounds by vacation in October), I packed that swimsuit for our October vacation, put it on and it hung on me (even the leg holes were huge).  

The weird thing is the shorts I bought this week are a size 4, my old shorts are a size 4; so why wouldn’t those fit?  

Ha! Well, if I had a pair of size 4 shorts, I would certainly never believe they would fit for a single second. :-)  

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