Beingme

Can it be done- 2 years out?

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My name is Amanda and yes, I abuse food!  I started the journey at 427... had VSG surgery 2/11/16... at 6 months was 335, at 8 months hit my lowest at 327... and immediately bounced back up to 337-342 and maintained that ever since.  That is until last month I literally threw in the towel and allowed myself to eat everything for comfort... gained up to 357 in one month!   I joined a gym in November... didn’t lose any weight.   I’m one of those “active & flexible” morbidly obese people who has no problem maneuvering or touching her toes, etc.  I can workout pretty hard with heavy weights and cardio... but as they say, you can’t out exercise a poor diet.  

Id love to say the pouch didn’t work... it does.  I simply can graze the whole entire pizza.  I understand what that means.  I’m just not sure how to STICK to any eating plan long enough to last.  I obviously eat through all my discomforts of life, every emotion, every bad thought... and then of course I eat to eat, socialize and get more energy.  I run very well and perform high with sugar and chocolate... energy will stay up for the most part   May crash afternoon but a power nap and a little more can get me through the rest of the day  

I know I should see a therapist to get some balance and things under control. However, insurance doesn’t cover it as we have to meet a deductible first and we have 4 kids... (12,10,5,3) not able to invest just yet in myself.  

If there is any words of wisdom, good books, success stories of people like me who did go in to lose weight without another surgery...

Just needing some reassurance!

Thanks,

AmandA

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I don't know that a book is going to be of more help over an online support forum like Thinner Times AmandA.  It's my experience that the more active you are on the forum, the more support you'll get which is essential at any stage.

My advice is that you kick-start your weight loss by doing the 5 Day Pouch Test.

That'll help you clean up your diet and kick the carbs and other junk from your diet, gain control of your food choices and lose a few pounds in the process.

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A support group sounds like it would help. Check with hospitals and bariatric surgeons near you to see when they're held. There's Overeaters Anonymous, too, but I think the surgical support groups may be more helpful.

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I'll second starting out by cleaning out the carbs with a 5 day pouch test. While you're doing that take some time away from the kids....a long bath might do....to seriously think about why you want to lose weight, and do whatever you need to drill these reasons into you head. Write them down if that's your thing, or recite them over ad again in your head. That way when you think about eating off plan you can easily get that headspace back and hopefully say no to yourself. You are in a very unenviable situation with children around you who no doubt would have high carbohydrate foods almost on tap to provide temptation to you. You'll have to find a way to separate your needs from theirs and avoid these foods like the plague.

I lost the bulk of my excess weight before I had my surgery. I needed orthopedic surgery and couldn't have it done until my BMI was below 30. The continual pain I experienced was my willpower....an incredible motivator for me. I actually hit this huge goal in the week before my revisional surgery. Also set small, manageable goals that you can tick off along the way. As you meet these you'll feel more and more positive that you can indeed get to where you want to be over time.

Best wishes to you moving forward. Worth noting that a "support group" is only a support if it helps you achieve what it is that you need. If instead it makes you feel bad about yourself, or encourages negative behaviours in you, then it's likely not the right group for you.

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Great advice here, and be sure to keep those trigger foods out of your home. The five day pouch test will really help get you back on track, and it sounds like you need some motivation/support also. If you are interested, we can put a thread up to see if anyone else is interested in doing the 5dpt - check in daily, and be able to identify the real problems that are hurting your weight loss efforts and break them down one by one. I would be more than happy to join in with you on this! Whatever you think would help :) And don't forget to keep trying! Its much like quiting smoking. It rarely sticks the first time you try, but the more you try the better you get until one day you will succeed. 

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Edited by Ladybugzzz86

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Hi @Beingme Amanda - will not offer you any pablum. First congrats on losing initial weight. Second with a BMI as high as yours, you need to lose weight to achieve your health goals. You can't escape the consequences of being too heavy even at your youthful age. I used to also say that I was heavy but fit and therefore "ok" but this has been disproven. You can have a high BMI and run marathons but your health risk remains high.

I would go to eating just protein, getting through the sh3tty first week of course, and enjoy the subsequent weight loss. If you can shift to only protein and get rid of carbos you will be in good shape. My two cents for the moment.

Yes you need therapy. Save your pizza fund and put it toward that and get some tough love. If you are dead from obesity your kids will not be happy and would tell you that yes you should have invested in yourself. Your posting sounds like you are eating pizza after having WLS. With great empathy just think you need to alter your diet. Best wishes BB

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@Beingme hello and congrats on facing your problems. I’ll echo what other folks have said above. Please find a support group that will help you confront your food demons. Each of us understands the struggle with food. 

If you want one on one therapy, perhaps you can find a place with a sliding scale. Look your state’s National Association Of Social Workers. They may be able to find you options for therapeutic services. 

All my best to you. 

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I am a food addict and it took me a long time to accept that. At 300 pounds I was on the elliptical for an hour a few days a week, I could downhill ski blue and black runs, my blood pressure and blood sugars were fine. At 260 pounds I did a fundraising walk which was 40 miles in two days up and down the hills of San Francisco. Because I had a few indicators of decent health and I could do a few things that normal sized active people can do, I allowed myself to stay in denial about my weight, my health and my future.

Before I accepted I'm a food addict, I started every single day with the thought that "today I won't overeat" and most days it was just a matter of time before I caved. Most nights it was a carb-fest-feeding-frenzy starting with nachos and ending with ice cream or more nachos.

Will power wasn't my issue. I quit smoking cold turkey after smoking a pack a day for over 10 years while living with a smoker in a 600 sq apartment. I worked 3 - 4 jobs at a time while I was in college to put myself through college. I could pull all-nighters for school or work when needed. If I could do all that, then why couldn't I ignore the cookies in the break room at work? Why would I eat 92% of a big bag of chips then come to my senses and throw the rest away only to be back at the trash 20 minutes later to dig them out and eat them?! What the hell was wrong with me?! Why would I buy 15 bags of Halloween candy a week before Halloween and then have to replace it the evening of 10/31?!!?!?!?

Before I surrendered to the idea that "maybe I'm a food addict" I spent countless hours beating myself up for not being able to make better food decisions. The guilt, shame and sadness just made me eat more to make myself feel better. After I started to consider that I might be a food addict, I started to feel better and started to see things more clearly. On average, I was gaining about 10 pounds a year. I knew I would continue that trend if I didn't do something serious. So, I greeted, embraced and then learned to manage my food addiction. Then I had surgery. Before surgery I realized there is a reason I didn't see many morbidly obese old people. We just don't live that long. I had/have a lot of places I want to go and things I want to do before I die. So, I looked at WLS as hitting the re-set button on my life. That, along with knowing I have to stay in charge of my food addiction, helps keep me on plan. 

I agree with everyone that you need therapy. If that doesn't work for you, get to an OA meeting. If you can't find one in your area - go to AA. Addiction is addiction whether it is food, booze, gambling or drugs. 

My food demon, as I like to call him, is still alive and well. But, rather than being at the wheel, he is locked in the trunk. 

If my post sounds like tough love, it is. You have 4 big reasons to wrestle control of your life back from food.

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We can all graze the whole pizza  - the trick is to not ever order/buy/make the pizza. Because we WILL eat it all! Have you tried doing low carb, high protein, eat dense protein first, don't drink during meals for for 30 minutes after? If you do that for a few days you may be amazed at how much less grazing you want to do. Foods like pizza (high carb, lots of salt and probably Msg and who knows whatever mind altering chemicals) make us want to eat more. There are scientists whose whole job is to try to chemically engineer food that will make us want to keep eating it. Don't blame yourself, blame the pizza! I have to stick to non processed food as much as possible to keep the cravings away. Meat, cheese, veggies. I allow myself one treat a day but do it at night so I'm asleep afterwards rather than continuing to binge, lol. If I eat one in the morning I'll keep going all day. 

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On 4/18/2018 at 3:05 PM, ktgrok said:

We can all graze the whole pizza  - the trick is to not ever order/buy/make the pizza. Because we WILL eat it all! 

Yes to this. 

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