Newlife2018

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21 hours ago, Res Ipsa said:

No offense at all :D, I do not post with a photo so you would have no easy way of knowing.  Also you can get much wisdom from the ladies who did post above - a truly amazing all-star group by the way - @cinwa, @Gretta, @Cheesehead, @Jen581791, @Nana Trish, and @kayak19

Wow!  I totally feel honored to be included in this group of rock stars!  Thanks @Res Ipsa!

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On 4/8/2018 at 11:24 AM, Jen581791 said:

@Nana Trish I can't believe it, and I've been watching it happen! :) You're a star!!

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Thanks, @Jen581791!! :wub:

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On 4/7/2018 at 3:56 PM, Res Ipsa said:

No offense at all :D, I do not post with a photo so you would have no easy way of knowing.  Also you can get much wisdom from the ladies who did post above - a truly amazing all-star group by the way - @cinwa, @Gretta, @Cheesehead, @Jen581791, @Nana Trish, and @kayak19

Thank you, sir :D

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On 4/7/2018 at 5:55 PM, Cheesehead said:

I wasn’t given a goal weight.  I figured 160 was doable and I didn’t want to set myself up for failure.  I’d failed too many diets.  I had surgery to get healthy.  In my weird mind that was my single focus, I never pictured myself “smaller”.  I actually purchased a 1xl shirt before surgery, thinking I’d fit into it.  By the time I tried it on it hung on me.  Even after losing my weight I couldn’t see the smaller person in the mirror for about 4 Years.  My looks changed so much (with a much thinner face short hair was a no go, I’d never had long hair), I still have times identifying with both the old me and new me.  First picture was sept, 2012.  Last two Jan, 2018..you can get to any weight you want, it’s a matter of what you put in your mouth!

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Wow Cheesehead! Your smile shines through in both pictures!

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On 4/6/2018 at 6:14 PM, Newlife2018 said:

Hallo All.

It's so nice to have found this forum. I am new to the process. Pre-op, waiting for my surgeon date and then surgery date. Was approved in principal now it's only the surgeon that has to decide and then it's go time for RNY. Can't wait to feel better about myself again. I have grown to not like myself very much and know that not only will this surgery change my health but also my psychy and confidence. 

Thanks for approving me

Newlife2018, your worth is not determined by your weight or by our approval (or disapproval)... but of course we all suffer from the need for others to approve us. Including me. This surgery and your weight loss transformation will do wonders for your health and self confidence. 

If you have never read Albert Camus, who won the Nobel Prize in 1957 for literature and tragically died in a car accident in 1960, you may wish to consider it. It may give you some perspective on the notion of confidence, our sense of self-worth, and where it comes from. Camus was the editor of a French clandestine newspaper called Resistance in France during the Nazi occupation, and would have been shot on sight by the Nazis. How he survived one does not know. He saw many terrible things. He had a lot to say about moving forward even under very adverse circumstances. I am re-reading his 1947 novel The Plague right now which is all about survival, doing the right thing, under horrible circumstances (a plague). I commend it to you if this subject has immediacy to you. Sartre, the existentialist philosopher, bowed to Camus. 

You have an internal core which is worthy. Never forget this. 

Congratulations on moving forward, doing this to help yourself, and facing into these issues. I hope you find the Forum useful to you. 

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20 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

Newlife2018, your worth is not determined by your weight or by our approval (or disapproval)... but of course we all suffer from the need for others to approve us. Including me. This surgery and your weight loss transformation will do wonders for your health and self confidence. 

If you have never read Albert Camus, who won the Nobel Prize in 1957 for literature and tragically died in a car accident in 1960, you may wish to consider it. It may give you some perspective on the notion of confidence, our sense of self-worth, and where it comes from. Camus was the editor of a French clandestine newspaper called Resistance in France during the Nazi occupation, and would have been shot on sight by the Nazis. How he survived one does not know. He saw many terrible things. He had a lot to say about moving forward even under very adverse circumstances. I am re-reading his 1947 novel The Plague right now which is all about survival, doing the right thing, under horrible circumstances (a plague). I commend it to you if this subject has immediacy to you. Sartre, the existentialist philosopher, bowed to Camus. 

You have an internal core which is worthy. Never forget this. 

Congratulations on moving forward, doing this to help yourself, and facing into these issues. I hope you find the Forum useful to you. 

Thank you for your words of encouragement, kind words and for the reference to Albert Camus, I am going to try and get my hands on his writings and read it. He sounds like a very interesting and knowledgeable person. I love reading and would love to get a different perspective on how I see myself.

The forum has been so wonderful in just welcoming me that I can't wait to share my journey with the help of fellow "losers "

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 Having never been at a "normal" weight that I can remember, I never wanted a goal (and wasn't given one) other than to get into the normal BMI range for my height and then take it from there.  The span is quite wide -115 lb to 150 lb.

I did get into the underweight BMI category for a while but that was totally unintentional.  No matter what or how much I ate, my weight continued to drop.  But that ultimately stopped and I managed to put a few pounds back on to where I am now.

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Welcome!  Sorry I'm just finding this thread!

The topic of goal weights is super interesting to me right now.  I started off with a higher weight even than Nana Trish - I was 355 in April of 2017.  I was 350 when I first met my surgeon in May.  He told me I could hope to make it down to around 226, maybe a bit lower.  I hated that idea, but I figured it was better than 355, so I went forward with the surgery. 

I joined TTF before surgery.  The original weight loss goal I set for myself here on the forum was 170.  I picked that weight because it's about the same as my BFF/housemate, Leah - we're about the same height, and I think she looks pretty good.  Then about 4 months ago I revised my weight loss goal down to 140 - the top of my "healthy" BMI range - because I saw so many other cool people hitting their normal BMI weights and I wanted to join the team!

Today, 8 months after surgery, I'm at 206.  I'm really happy to prove my surgeon wrong.  I haven't seen him in person since the day after surgery, and won't see him again until May 29 - by which time I fully expect to be in Onederland.  (So take THAT, doc!)

The funny thing is... as I get closer to my original goal weight, I've started to realize that I'm not really UNhappy even where I am today.  I've basically stopped seeing a fat lady in the mirror.  I see some lumps, sure, but I think of myself as a "normal" kind of overweight now - not the kind that I was, the kind that made a little kid say to me in an elevator once, "Wow, you're BIG!" That kid would never have said that of me at this size.  At this size, I look like many, many other ladies of a certain age in America.

I've said many times on this forum that there are a ton of good things that happen to you on the way to goal - and it would be a mistake and a shame to focus on the number to the exclusion of those wins.  I've gotten my mobility back, kicked my sleep apnea, knocked my borderline high blood pressure back to low-normal, listened to hundreds of really nice compliments, worn super cute clothes, found my "look" (sporty-casual!) and avoided diabetes.  All of these things are more important than the number on the scale.

Which is not to say that seeing lower numbers every month isn't GREAT - it is!  But try to think of it as one goal among many - not the only one worth having.

(And like @BurgundyBoy, I'm a Camus fan - see quote below in my sig!)

 

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@Kio first of congratulations on your amazing weight loss and that you see yourself not as a fat person anymore, that's one thing that I really look forward too is to not see the "blob" in the mirror.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, ypur positivity and your amazing transformation with me. I really hope that in a year from now I will be you that will give a newbie the hope and encouragement. 

Thanks and congratulations again!

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