Elisa

I need a stern talking to!

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I only lost 10lbs this month and I’m feeling very down about it.

 I can lose more if I followed a diet pre op so why have I lost so little seeing as I’m hardly eating?

 

I'm feeling very discouraged and that I’m failing.

 

 I’ve also lost 36lbs total and see no difference in my body, clothes fitting or anything really.  No one has noticed either.

 

I need a firm word, a kick in the pants.

 

go....

 

 

Edited by Elisa

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Oh, the Weight Loss Gremlins have sunk their claws into you. Poor you. So in some jest:

Let's see, 36 lbs was over 10% of your body weight... That is so very much more than what people can achieve over time and sustain with diets with an optimal 2 year plan. I can see how... this would disappoint you, since you have far exceeded the mean loss with the best results reported from closely supervised dieting (which is about 13-14 lbs). 

And over and over again it is clear that the initial weight you lose, your 36 lbs, has the biggest positive effect on health (lower blood pressure, risks of cardiovascular death, stroke, diabetes...).  With an initial BMI > 45 your risk of death was about triple the risk for a person with a BMI < 25. Yes, another big disappointment to reduce your death risk, tsk tsk. Best to be nice to the Grim Reaper, one supposes...

And let's see, 10 lbs in 30 days = 35,000 calories negative over 30 days, so you are net -1,167 calories per day if you use the 1 lb= 3,500 calories metric.  (Most weight docs think anything over 2 lbs a week puts you at major risk of your body deciding to greatly reduce your basal metabolic rate. I think you are at risk of your body deciding upon a much lower metabolic rate if you go more negative, which of course would really be depressing. Unless you really  up your exercise). So yes, another disappointment being smack on the rate loss favored by many professionals. 

No changes? I bet your  hands look different. I bet you are sleeping better and when you walk you are less fatigued and your joints are less stressed. Look at the crook of where your upper arm meets your elbow, I bet it doesn't bulge out as much. 

So there. Now buck up and keep your spirits up. If you don't we'll have to arrange for the Gremlins to be Exorcised, which involves Unpleasantries. WLS is not about the short term and the rate of your loss. It's about eventually getting to an healthy weight and adopting healthy habits. 

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I felt so discouraged after my first month that I didn't even take any photos because I thought I couldn't see a difference... It FEELS like it's going slowly, but it will soon start to be really obvious. You just have to keep your head in the game. Also, 10 pounds now doesn't make as much of a difference as 10 pounds later will - it's less relative to your size, so if you keep losing 10 pounds every month (a totally respectable amount!), it will soon start to seem like a much bigger difference! 

Don't stress about how fast or slow your body is losing. It will do things in its own time. All you can do is control what goes in (calories, protein, water, etc). Make sure that's as ideal as you can make it. Your body will respond in its own way, but there's no way you can change that. Control what you can. Trust the process. It'll happen!! :) 

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Thanks guys, 

 

this whole process is a loooooooong mental game too, something I’ve never been particularly good at.

 

i just want to fast forward a year and wake up 100lbs lighter!

 

 

Edited by Elisa

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1 hour ago, Elisa said:

 

i just want to fast forward a year and wake up 100lbs lighter!

Well, who doesn't want that lol!  It just doesn't work that way though, and really it shouldn't even if it could.  Because this year or so of honeymoon is your chance to re-learn some eating habits.  You can work on alternate coping skills which is a big one for those of us who ate for comfort.  You can develop healthier eating habits and good exercise habits.  These are all skills that will help you be successful in the long run which is why you did this, right?

Contrary to what some misguided folks out there believe...this is NOT the easy way out!  It is work and you have to do the work for it to be successful. 

BTW: 10 pounds a month is exactly perfect! Some lose faster and some slower but that is exactly perfect for you!  Your butterfly is in there and soon enough will reveal herself :)

 

Edited by msmarymac

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1 hour ago, Elisa said:

I only lost 10lbs this month and I’m feeling very down about it.

 I can lose more if I followed a diet pre op so why have I lost so little seeing as I’m hardly eating?

 

I'm feeling very discouraged and that I’m failing.

 

 I’ve also lost 36lbs total and see no difference in my body, clothes fitting or anything really.  No one has noticed either.

 

I need a firm word, a kick in the pants.

 

go....

 

 

People really didn't start saying anything to me about my loss for about 50 lbs and I started at 311.  My goal every month is 10 lbs and I didn't change clothing size really until I had 40 lbs in losses. Don't be so hard on yourself you are doing great. The heavier we start at the harder it is to see the losses. That is my opinion anyways. Did you do your measurements when you started?

Edited by tracyringo

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I didn't start getting compliments on my weight loss until I lost 70 pounds! I think it has to be really drastic before people feel comfortable commenting. Also, there are days I notice my weight loss, and other days I feel like I haven't lost much at all. Our brains and hormones need time to adjust to the changes.

Losing 10 pounds in a month is great. If you kept up that rate, you'd reach your goal so quickly. Be kind to yourself.

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I want to second what literally everyone else has said, and shout "me too!" to @tracyringo and @Gretta: I didn't get any comments from anyone who didn't know I was having surgery until I came back from my month off of work, and that was at 75 pounds down. Sheesh. There are still people I work with closely who have never said a word, even though I know for sure they can tell. I've lost nearly 120 pounds, for crying out loud.

Most people will be exceedingly polite and never say anything. Others will point it out every time they see you, and that may be worse. Ideally, there would be something in between radio silence and the shouts of "you're lookin' good, girl!" from across the room, but these seem to be the two options from my experience. I'm sure the time will come when you, too, wish people would stop noticing. 

The only thing you can control in this situation is what you put in your mouth - what your body decides to do with that is up to it. Have faith, follow your plan, move your body around more than you were moving it before, get your fluids and your protein in, and RELAX. You've got this. :) 

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I agree with everybody!  Plus I will rant about clothing sizes for fat chicks - you really don't move in sizes for an AGE, and while your clothing is still big, you still look a little big from all the fabric.  It took me three months to stop wearing my biggest pants... but when I did, I went right down to a size 22, then a month later a 20, then a month later an 18.  I'm almost ready for 16s now (if my belly would cooperate a little, sheesh).  Things speed up - you'll lose it all as fast or slow as your body wants to, but the changes are cumulative, and every 10 lbs will make you look smaller than the last 10 lbs did.

And to echo others again... I'm glad it happens kind of slow.  I mean sure, I'd love to wake up at my goal weight tomorrow!  But since I can't, I do appreciate how the little wins accumulate.  Every day it seems there's something new I can do, something that looks or feels smaller (or wrinkly-er! lol!), some milestone to pass.  And when a stall happens, I can still be proud of making good choices, and learning how to do that going forward. 

You ARE losing weight.  You will continue to lose weight.  The pattern of your weight loss will probably be frustrating sometimes, but as long as you're following your program, it will come off!!!  Be proud of what you have accomplished today, hope for the best for tomorrow, and forget about yesterday.  You're on your way!

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This will be the same for me. I am sure that I will be a slow loser. I am on the Optifast diet, have eaten very little and don't feel that I lost an ounce this week. Matter of fact, my pants aren't as baggy as they were last week. Guess I will know for sure tomorrow at my weekly class/ weigh in.

I too have to get more realistic expectations when it comes to weight loss. Did not put it on overnight so it is not going away overnight. sigh

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I GAINED 10 pounds in the hospital during surgery. So when I got home I was so disappointed and discouraged. I know that I felt exactly the same way that you do at a month out. And I think at 2 and 3 months as well. However, over time you will see those losses add up! Things slowed down in February, and again I was frustrated and discouraged. However, my body has now started to change even when the scale isn’t. Just keep doing what you know you need to do. Before you know it, you will notice the difference. For me, the clothes sizes went in spurts. I was wearing the same size forever, and then I was down a size and then another size in 2 months. Then I was in that size for a long time. 

You are doing this one day at a time! Keep your head up! You’ve got this!

 

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Shoot it was 4 years before I could steadily see a difference looking a mirror.  I think people started to notice at 50# lost.  Is it wintertime there?  Are you buried under a heavier coat?  If you lose 10# a month in a year it will be 120#.  It all adds up.  And we didn’t gain it in a couple of month, so it’s not just going to fall off in one big chunk overnight.  

Follow what you are supposed to do.  

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I started out at 318 pounds and I have now lost 110 pounds so far (28 pre-op) . I felt the same way you did. No one noticed until I was down 50 pounds. I was discouraged also but kept on plan. I will also tell you that I am 7 months out now and I have lost weight faster from month 4 to now minus some pesky stalls than I did the first 4 months. NO idea why, but it is true what everyone is saying, your body has it's own agenda and will lose when it feels like it. It can be really frustrating but I have lost an average of 8-13 pounds every 4 weeks so you are right on track! Now I catch glimpses of myself in a window and wonder who the heck that person is! It will happen before you know it. Keep it up! It WILL happen!

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Echoing those above me. I was in the 'not noticed by others' category until about 100lbs lost. I got a dramatic haircut and people commented on that - I guess they could tell I looked different, didn't realize it was weight and were excited to pin it on the hair.  Or more comfortable pinning it on the hair because weight is such a personal issue.

I would suggest not pinning too much of your happiness on the notice of others or clothing, as it gets too upsetting and is out of your control. And, as Kio mentions, I didn't see much change in clothing until 120lbs down or so. Those larger sizes really hide a multitude of sins! Not to say, those aren't great sources of some happiness and victories, just diversify! I made a list of all of the things i hated about being obese and was going to be excited about seeing change post-surgery. Then, as i reviewed that list each month, there were mini-victories all over! If you haven't done measurements and photos, definitely do them! There were times when I didn't lose many lbs but its like my skin shifted or reorganized and I lost cm. 

You have a great tool now - keep your chin up and focus on those aspects you can control. You've got this!

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1 hour ago, CurvyMermaid said:

Echoing those above me. I was in the 'not noticed by others' category until about 100lbs lost. ... Not to say, those aren't great sources of some happiness and victories, just diversify! I made a list of all of the things i hated about being obese and was going to be excited about seeing change post-surgery. Then, as i reviewed that list each month, there were mini-victories all over! If you haven't done measurements and photos, definitely do them! There were times when I didn't lose many lbs but its like my skin shifted or reorganized and I lost cm. 

You have a great tool now - keep your chin up and focus on those aspects you can control. You've got this!

@Elisa and @Readytobeme - as Curvy says, measure all your circumferences - neck, upper chest, bosoms, waist, hips, upper arms, lower arms, thighs in a couple of places, ditto for lower legs. Photograph not only front back side shots but also your neck, hands, lower upper arm where it joins the lower at the elbow - - then, being able to track your size changes, you can maintain your equilibrium when the Evil Scale goes up or doesn't go down. 

Water, water, everywhere, but not a drop to drink: it's stuck in our bodies as water weight!

(I too had double-takes when about 70 lbs down, and now at ~ 90 down am deluged with pleasant comments from people. No doubt part of it was also a wholesale purging of my too-big clothes and getting more form-fitting ones. No one except the fools will be making comments about your weight until it is really really far along). 

Edited by BurgundyBoy
added a person

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You had your surgery one day before me, and I've only lost 33 lbs, so I think you're doing great!  And as everyone has mentioned here, it is frustrating at first because even though 33 lbs seems like a lot to me, all that has really happened is that my clothes fit a bit better.  I lost 110 lbs once before through dieting, and just as everyone here has noted, I did not start getting comments about weight loss until I had lost more than 50 lbs, and not a lot of comments until I had lost about 80 lbs or so.  But, yesterday, I was out on the town and someone said to me "You look great. You look happy." And I was happy because I knew that it was probably because I look smaller, and more at ease in my body.  I also went to the store and tried on clothes, and in fact, I have dropped a size, from 3X to 2X in tops and from 22 to 20 in pants.  Most of the time I wear stretchy stuff and it fits about the same, so trying on the store clothes helped me see the difference better!  I'm in a weight loss support group with a lot of people who didn't have surgery. We've been together forever, but I've always been the slowest loser in the bunch by far.  And now I'm actually losing faster than anyone else-- even though the weight doesn't feel like it's just melting away, it's still faster than the usual 1.5 a week I used to get if I was lucky.

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9 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

@Elisa and @Readytobeme - as Curvy says, measure all your circumferences - neck, upper chest, bosoms, waist, hips, upper arms, lower arms, thighs in a couple of places, ditto for lower legs. Photograph not only front back side shots but also your neck, hands, lower upper arm where it joins the lower at the elbow - - then, being able to track your size changes, you can maintain your equilibrium when the Evil Scale goes up or doesn't go down. 

Water, water, everywhere, but not a drop to drink: it's stuck in our bodies as water weight!

(I too had double-takes when about 70 lbs down, and now at ~ 90 down am deluged with pleasant comments from people. No doubt part of it was also a wholesale purging of my too-big clothes and getting more form-fitting ones. No one except the fools will be making comments about your weight until it is really really far along). 

 

Thanks, @BurgundyBoy I planned to measure everything but, haven't done it yet. I also need to get in gear and get a before picture. As of today, I am already down 10 pounds. :D

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Side-by-side photos are the best way of recognising our weight loss.  This shows how best to do that:  How to Take Before And After Photos for Weight Loss

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