Lankyliz

Devastated

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So today my husband best friend love of my life tells me he wants to separate .

He never came to see me in hospital and has not seen me since.

Has decided I have shown my true weakness by having this done and decided he would tell me today 

Beyond devastated 

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7 minutes ago, Lankyliz said:

So today my husband best friend love of my life tells me he wants to separate .

He never came to see me in hospital and has not seen me since.

Has decided I have shown my true weakness by having this done and decided he would tell me today 

Beyond devastated 

I'm so sorry

WLS is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of taking control of your life. 

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24 minutes ago, Lankyliz said:

So today my husband best friend love of my life tells me he wants to separate .

He never came to see me in hospital and has not seen me since.

Has decided I have shown my true weakness by having this done and decided he would tell me today 

Beyond devastated 

@Lankyliz I wish I were with you so I could wrap you in a warm hug. I’m sorry for your pain. 

I hope you know that you are not weak for going forward with WLS. You have taken control of your life for the better. 

Please visit us often. We care about you. 

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Going through WLS is probably one of the most courageous things I've ever done Liz - just know that we're here for you and we all send you our love.

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Oh, Liz, I'm so sorry. 

You're so strong for taking on WLS and taking control over your body and life, and I hope you can see that. It's unfortunate that he can't see that, but we will still be here to cheer you on every step of the way. 

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Wow, Liz. I am so very sorry to hear this.

I agree with the others. It takes a lot of strength to go through with this surgery and follow the plan. It is not for the weak at all. I truly am sorry for you but, it makes me wonder how much he really loves you if he can't support you when you need it most.

I echo what the others are saying. Please continue to post here. We care for you and will support you 100%

Edited by Readytobeme

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I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this! I know you must feel a lot of pain. 

Please take good care of yourself and find the support you need, whether that's here or with someone in person. You have made a tough decision and taken the hard road of dealing with your health issues - this is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Whatever your husband's reasons, know that they are his own issues, not yours. We are here for you. Keep your head held high. 

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(((HUGS)))

So sorry to hear this! Wonder if he feels threatened by you getting thinner? Perhaps counseling and time will help and the relationship can be saved!

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Oh Liz, I am so angry on your behalf! Weak, he says? Nonsense. This surgery requires so much strength it's not even funny. We're all here to support you. 

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Sorry to see this. You are courageous, not weak. You will come back from this stronger than ever. 

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Thankyou for all your support 

I have nursed my son thru open heart surgery and cancer 

I will not let it defeat me !!!

Your right I can be strong sad but strong...must be the protein shakes having effect xxxxxxxx love to all and thanks for my hugs be lost without you guys xx

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do keep us posted...check in here everyday, there is always a friend here for you! :)

(and seriously, if you have had a sick child and faced death in the eye and survived....you are WAY strong!)  

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I am so so sorry Liz.  We are here for you, day or night, you have friends all over the globe.  *big big hugz* xoxo

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So sorry to hear this news Liz. Research has shown that WLS can break many marriages, I suspect those that already have fractures present. Clearly you are a very strong woman to have faced children's illnesses as well as this surgery. That alone augers well for your success travelling thus particular road. Take care Liz, and get any help you might need to keep control at this tough time.

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I’m so sorry. I’m sending you hugs and positive vibes. I can only imagine how you must feel. Know that you are strong and taking control of your life. You are the opposite of what he’s claiming. You are worth this struggle and will see happier days ahead of you soon. Please feel free to message me if you’d like someone to talk to. 

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 I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. To echo everyone else, you’ve shown how very strong you are by choosing to take charge of your health and have surgery (in addition to all the other obstacles you’ve conquered). We’re here to support you as you grieve the loss of your relationship and find your way through this new chapter of your life. You will be ok. I promise (speaking as someone who’s been there). You will come out the other side of this healthier and even stronger than you already are. Many, many hugs. 

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@Lankyliz I'm so sorry you're going through this.  All I can say is he doesn't know you very well if he thinks you're weak.  You're doing the strongest and best thing for yourself, and that takes guts and courage.  I hope you'll lean on us for support, because we're here for you!  You can make it through this.

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I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, especially now. I'm really sorry he's not the friend you thought he was. 

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I am so very very sorry to hear your news. I suspect that he felt threatened that you were taking control of your body, your life and your health. You are not weak; you are strong. We are here to support you. 

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I'm at a loss of words, honestly. I suspect he is scared of the changes that are taking place in you.... physically, mentally, and emotionally. This surgery will make you realize very quickly that you're a fighter and so incredibly strong. I'm devastated for you, but in the same breath I hope you can one day find the empowerment in this too, as you finally have put yourself and your health first. The way he handled this was the cowardly and childish, in my opinion. Continue to dig deep and fight to find your inner Phoenix and rise above the ashes in all aspects of your journey to be stronger, healthy, and proud. I'm so proud of you for reaching out to us, and while it has been said many times please keep coming here for support as we are truly a family! Big huge squishy hugs, sweetie! Remember...be the Phoenix! :)

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I hope you have a beautiful day and feel a little better than yesterday. This is a new day and you are a strong and wonderful person. As I have read on this forum, there are some people who have a hard time handling it when a spouse or partner decides to take control of their health and makes the tough decision to have WLS. A person who is truly devoted would be there for you through thick and thin, literally! I think some people who have their own issues can’t handle it when they see how strong their partner really is. It makes them question themselves. This may or may not be your situation but never let someone make you think you’re weak by having weight loss surgery. I see weakness as continuing on a downward spiral of weight gain and more health problems. I haven’t even had surgery yet but I’ve had to do a lot of soul searching to make the decision to have wls. I feel stronger already! You seem like a very tough lady and we are all here cheering you onward toward your goal. I’m sure it’s tough going through all of this but I have a feeling you’re gonna realize you’re stronger than you know. (((HUGS))):)

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Liz,

How are you doing today?

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I am so sorry. 

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Hey Liz. How are you today?

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I am thinking of you today too, @Lankyliz....how are you doing?  Have you been able to talk to your husband?

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