Jen581791

How did you know when to stop?

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Ugh, any health professional dealing with WLS patients can pretty much toss the word “fat” out with the trash. You’re not skinny fat, Aussie, you’re CONVALESCING, for goodness sake. You are healing. You are following doctor’s orders. I hope you have some salty words for the next person who tells you that. 

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8 hours ago, Aussie Bear said:

I would love to be sitting where you and @NerdyToothpick are right now. I've thought for the past few months that another 6-7 kg more would be a better place to be. The last 6 kg has taken that many months to get off!!! I know that exercise is going to be crucial to get there, even if just to increase metabolism. In my case it isn't just me seeing fat on me...I've also now had many health personnel calling me "skinny fat", this despite them knowing I've been on an exercise ban. These are people who've seen me lose weight, new ones I come into contact with never even mention weight to me, which seems really odd. I don't believe they realise just how demeaning using the "fat" word can be even if they do preface it with the "skinny" adjective. There are days when I feel like I just can't win against the fat shamers!!!! I haven't actually touched base with my surgeon in almost 6 months but am due to see him in a couple of weeks. I have seen another surgeon though, who said I was "perfect". I do have a few years on you two though. I'll be really devastated if my surgeon decides to have a go as well. I don't think it's something he would do, but I'm very sensitive about it now.

Oh, my precious @Aussie Bear! You’ve had a rough time and you’ve managed to do so well. Losing Six kgs, after a revision *and* while immobile is impressive. You’ll get to where you need to be because you are determined AF! 

Words hurt and I can’t take that pain away, but I can send you warm hugs. xoxo

BTW, love the new name!!

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5 hours ago, Jen581791 said:

Ugh, any health professional dealing with WLS patients can pretty much toss the word “fat” out with the trash. You’re not skinny fat, Aussie, you’re CONVALESCING, for goodness sake. You are healing. You are following doctor’s orders. I hope you have some salty words for the next person who tells you that. 

@Jen581791 @Aussie Bear The phrase “health professional” should be put in quotes because some of these people are straight out @$$hole$. Nothing professional about them! 

05677771-D677-43CC-AEE5-CB8B741F68B5.gif

Edited by NerdyToothpick

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2 hours ago, NerdyToothpick said:

@Jen581791 @Aussie Bear The phrase “health professional” should be put in quotes because some of these people are straight out @$$hole$. Nothing professional about them! 

05677771-D677-43CC-AEE5-CB8B741F68B5.gif

That is literally the the truest thing your have ever said. ;) 

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7 hours ago, NerdyToothpick said:

@Jen581791 @Aussie Bear The phrase “health professional” should be put in quotes because some of these people are straight out @$$hole$. Nothing professional about them! 

05677771-D677-43CC-AEE5-CB8B741F68B5.gif

LOL Toothpick. At least you made me laugh. I didn't actually use the term "professional" for that very reason. My new family doctor (who is a previous one that I've returned to in despair of finding a decent one locally) never made any negative comments like that. If my eyes don't deceive me in his case I'd say he is probably obese himself..... definitely overweight at minimum, and I suspect lives in a glasshouse so doesn't throw stones. Only once did he mention weight to me before, and that was when he was referring me to the ortho the first time and knew it was going to be an issue. Let's be honest, when it comes to orthos, weight is always a front and centre issue if you are overweight or obese.

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On 13/02/2018 at 6:06 PM, Jen581791 said:

Ugh, any health professional dealing with WLS patients can pretty much toss the word “fat” out with the trash. You’re not skinny fat, Aussie, you’re CONVALESCING, for goodness sake. You are healing. You are following doctor’s orders. I hope you have some salty words for the next person who tells you that. 

Learned a new acronym (to me anyway) TOFI....seems dieticians have coined this one which translates to "thin outside, fat inside". I'm finding it extremely difficult to treat these particular supposed health professionals with any degree of respect anymore.

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22 hours ago, Aussie Bear said:

Learned a new acronym (to me anyway) TOFI....seems dieticians have coined this one which translates to "thin outside, fat inside". I'm finding it extremely difficult to treat these particular supposed health professionals with any degree of respect anymore.

It means literally fat (adipose) inside, usually around the middle and it's not a dietician term exclusively.  It's useful in the medical world because even though a person appears to be "normal" weight they can still have the risk factors associated with fat around the middle.  Similar to MONW (Metabolically Obese Normal-Weight).  It's not a judgement (or at least it's not meant to be) but a clinical term to identify risk.

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Hi @Jen581791 Sounded to me from this thread, and some of your other posts that you have upped your calories a bit and are trying to find the level weight, having decided you are at or near the right place. Have to laugh at myself; I've (in retrospect) been at a maintenance place for some months, yet I decided last week to ramp up my exercise and see if I could get to Onederland  .... perhaps more for the mental satisfaction / vanity  than any health or external image angle. I rarely "need" to count my calories or even weigh myself because I am very steady in weight now. I realize now that the goal weight I chose a long time ago could have had another 10 lbs added to it for excess skin, and with that... am not so far from that pre-defined goal. Thanks again for posting this, an interesting set of comments about body image, external and internal validation...

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7 hours ago, msmarymac said:

  Similar to MONW (Metabolically Obese Normal-Weight).  It's not a judgement (or at least it's not meant to be) but a clinical term to identify risk.

Oh great :( That just backs my ex-doctor's refusal to remove "obesity" as one of my health related conditions on my medical record. He claims obesity is for a lifetime despite losing all my excess weight. My ex-dietician's insistence that I was malnourished (despite no issues with my blood draws), and calling me "skinny fat" at every opportunity, has seen both with the hyphenated "ex". 

Doesn't matter how they phrase these terms, I do find them judgemental. A lifetime of being judged for being overweight/obese takes a long time to lose it's sting.

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8 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

Hi @Jen581791 Sounded to me from this thread, and some of your other posts that you have upped your calories a bit and are trying to find the level weight, having decided you are at or near the right place. Have to laugh at myself; I've (in retrospect) been at a maintenance place for some months, yet I decided last week to ramp up my exercise and see if I could get to Onederland  .... perhaps more for the mental satisfaction / vanity  than any health or external image angle. I rarely "need" to count my calories or even weigh myself because I am very steady in weight now. I realize now that the goal weight I chose a long time ago could have had another 10 lbs added to it for excess skin, and with that... am not so far from that pre-defined goal. Thanks again for posting this, an interesting set of comments about body image, external and internal validation...

Yes, I've upped my calories to 1200 per day (we'll see how that goes, but I'm getting them in every day, basically, just not sure if that's enough to hold steady). That's necessarily involving eating some pretty calorie dense foods (lots of nuts and cheese), which is kind of a treat.

Since you're still in a honeymoon type timeframe, dropping a few more pounds should work out just fine, I suppose. A little extra muscle will burn a few extra calories, and presto :) 

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14 hours ago, Aussie Bear said:

Oh great :( That just backs my ex-doctor's refusal to remove "obesity" as one of my health related conditions on my medical record. He claims obesity is for a lifetime despite losing all my excess weight. My ex-dietician's insistence that I was malnourished (despite no issues with my blood draws), and calling me "skinny fat" at every opportunity, has seen both with the hyphenated "ex". 

Doesn't matter how they phrase these terms, I do find them judgemental. A lifetime of being judged for being overweight/obese takes a long time to lose it's sting.

I get it, my inner Fat Girl is hypersensitive about all things obesity-related.  Sounds like you and your Dr. are using the word Obesity differently; you as a measure of current body weight and he as the name of a disease state.  Both are correct.   I actually do agree that Obesity (the disease) is for life much like Diabetes.  We can enter remission and hopefully stay there, but if it weren't a disease for life it wouldn't be so dang hard to maintain normal weight.  I try to keep that in mind all the time.  But I think we need different nomenclature to describe the two so that our chart reflects our fabulousness!

Your former dietician on the other hand...

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15 hours ago, Aussie Bear said:

Oh great :( That just backs my ex-doctor's refusal to remove "obesity" as one of my health related conditions on my medical record. He claims obesity is for a lifetime despite losing all my excess weight. My ex-dietician's insistence that I was malnourished (despite no issues with my blood draws), and calling me "skinny fat" at every opportunity, has seen both with the hyphenated "ex". 

Doesn't matter how they phrase these terms, I do find them judgemental. A lifetime of being judged for being overweight/obese takes a long time to lose it's sting.

I've had the same conversation with my doc Aussie but she gave me the facts.  Even after weight loss, obesity may harm health later in life.  I can't remember all the facts (because I choose not to) but one I remember was that even if we maintain our weight loss, research shows that we are at a heightened risk for sudden cardiac death later in life.

Here's a link I have bookmarked but haven't read past the first couple of paragraphs basically because I worried myself sick about dying an early death due to my morbid obesity and took drastic steps to improve my life expectancy.  I continue to maintain my weight loss after 10+ years post-WLS and I keep as active as possible - I'm damned if I'm going to let my past ruin my future now:  https://www.cityofhope.org/health-problems-could-persist-after-weight-loss

 

 

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13 hours ago, cinwa said:

 

Here's a link I have bookmarked but haven't read past the first couple of paragraphs basically because I worried myself sick about dying an early death due to my morbid obesity and took drastic steps to improve my life expectancy.  I continue to maintain my weight loss after 10+ years post-WLS and I keep as active as possible - I'm damned if I'm going to let my past ruin my future now:  https://www.cityofhope.org/health-problems-could-persist-after-weight-loss

 

 

It is a bit of a scary read...but...they do say the ongoing metabolic dysfunction only happened in some animal groups while other groups did not have the same outcomes. It also does not address bariatric surgery which changes metabolisms in ways even experts don't appear to understand. I'm not about to start worrying about metabolic dysfunction after getting obesity under control. If it so happens that my risks are higher because I have been obese....then so be it. I can't change the past....only my future. 

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On 05/02/2018 at 5:37 PM, Jen581791 said:

 

For those of you who’ve gotten to GW, was there something that helped you know when you got to that point? An aha moment? A physical feeling? Something about how you looked? Comments from well-meaning people? I’m getting there I think, but I don’t know if I’ll know when I do... How did you make yourself decide? 

 

 

Okay so I guess I have a pretty definitive answer now. I had my 9 month check up with my surgeon today. For the first time ever I was fobbed off to his students. Eventually he came in, talked to me for a bit,  basically told me where my bloods were and to organise iron infusions through my family doctor, because that has continued to fall to now unacceptable but expected low levels. Then came the kicker...."I'll see you again in six months time; no lighter and no heavier". Up until now my checkups have been every two or three months depending on his visits.

Don't get me wrong, he was really nice about it, but he did make it pretty clear that his job is done now and I'm where he wants me to be.  I admit having been told I'm at the weight where he wants me to stay, and that my weightloss pattern suggests that my honeymoon period is over, I suddenly feel like a huge millstone has just been put around my neck. It was kind of nice to have been in a place where there were no demands or clear expectations and I could just stumble along, losing what weight my body was happy to give up. Now it is more like you've got to walk the walk all on your own and don't let me down.

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2 hours ago, Aussie Bear said:

I suddenly feel like a huge millstone has just been put around my neck. It was kind of nice to have been in a place where there were no demands or clear expectations and I could just stumble along, losing what weight my body was happy to give up. Now it is more like you've got to walk the walk all on your own and don't let me down

I hope you can see the positive in having been informed that you’re at GW! :) It is definitely when the real work of living the rest of your life begins, but I think you can do it. Stumbling along is probably a necessary part of that journey. Right now I feel like I’m steering a big ship - small changes won’t be obvious for a while, and then I’ll have to work not to over correct out of sheer panic! I’m here metaphorically holding your hand, Aussie Bear. We can do this.

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9 minutes ago, Jen581791 said:

 I’m here metaphorically holding your hand, Aussie Bear. We can do this.

That's why I love this place Jen. There is always someone to hold your hand when you need it. Yes it's great to have it confirmed by someone who should know, and who I know I can trust....but this maintenance gig just got very real, and scary. The iron deficiency also explains a lot of the health issues I've had lately. Unfortunately I can't get an appointment with a local doctor to get an infusion ordered. Pre-op I struggled with iron overload due to haemochromatosis, so none of the health professionals wanted me supplementing iron unless it was proven absolutely necessary. Now it's bizarre to hear that my levels have fallen so low that I'm in infusion territory. I suspect this is going to be yet another juggling act until I can get the levels right.

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16 hours ago, Aussie Bear said:

Okay so I guess I have a pretty definitive answer now. I had my 9 month check up with my surgeon today. For the first time ever I was fobbed off to his students. Eventually he came in, talked to me for a bit,  basically told me where my bloods were and to organise iron infusions through my family doctor, because that has continued to fall to now unacceptable but expected low levels. Then came the kicker...."I'll see you again in six months time; no lighter and no heavier". Up until now my checkups have been every two or three months depending on his visits.

Don't get me wrong, he was really nice about it, but he did make it pretty clear that his job is done now and I'm where he wants me to be.  I admit having been told I'm at the weight where he wants me to stay, and that my weightloss pattern suggests that my honeymoon period is over, I suddenly feel like a huge millstone has just been put around my neck. It was kind of nice to have been in a place where there were no demands or clear expectations and I could just stumble along, losing what weight my body was happy to give up. Now it is more like you've got to walk the walk all on your own and don't let me down.

@Aussie Bear I can relate a bit. My current state of maintaining my weight has me in a little bit of a “deer in headlights” mode. I liked being on the losing track because it was easy. The routine was boring but doable. Now that I’m expected to maintain I’m a bit WT F?! We are in this together. We aren’t stumbling through the wilderness alone but rather together in good company. 

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22 minutes ago, NerdyToothpick said:

@Aussie Bear I can relate a bit. My current state of maintaining my weight has me in a little bit of a “deer in headlights” mode. I liked being on the losing track because it was easy. The routine was boring but doable. Now that I’m expected to maintain I’m a bit WT F?! We are in this together. We aren’t stumbling through the wilderness alone but rather together in good company. 

Thanks Toothpick for the support. I guess part of my issue is that I'm not convinced yet that I even want to maintain. I'd kind of like to lose maybe another 10lb to see if I like it there, plus I'd like some degree of buffer in place. Not sure if it is even doable at the moment but I did read up on how low iron affects weightloss and it definitely suggests that low iron can stop weightloss due to its effects on the liver, as well as the resulting fatigue making exercise really, really tough to endure...I admit I never knew just how much of a role iron plays in our bodies. I guess I'll find out later.

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Chin up, @Aussie Bear! I’ll hold your hand. Promise. 

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The maintenance thing is a bit unnerving for me.  I think I may actually be up one pound (scale at work is off so I try to guess by how much since I just randomly jumped on it).  I have been trying to increase a few carbs since the hubby told me "no more losing".  I don't know that I want to just maintain.  I was good at losing.  Maintaining sounds much scarier at this point.  *sigh*

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21 hours ago, TammyP said:

The maintenance thing is a bit unnerving for me.  I think I may actually be up one pound (scale at work is off so I try to guess by how much since I just randomly jumped on it).  I have been trying to increase a few carbs since the hubby told me "no more losing".  I don't know that I want to just maintain.  I was good at losing.  Maintaining sounds much scarier at this point.  *sigh*

My current philosophy on being "up a pound" is: that's a glass of water, a poo, or just a bit more sodium the previous day. I've established my upper and lower limits (135 and 140 until I decide differently), and I'll worry about it if I go above or below that! That might help if you're feeling stressed about it. 

You know that feeling you get when you've been on a long road trip, and then suddenly you get there and there's no more "getting there" to do? That's a bit how I feel. The whole point of my life for the past year is no longer a thing. I'm there. Starting the new project of just staying there. Weird for sure. 

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22 hours ago, TammyP said:

 I was good at losing.  Maintaining sounds much scarier at this point.  

For me, maintaining is harder than losing. 

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44 minutes ago, Stephtay said:

For me, maintaining is harder than losing. 

Me too!! I am a champion loser but maintaining has always been my downfall!  So thankful for this tool that helps make maintenance possible! 

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