Aussie Bear

Is it just me that doesn't look skinny?

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@Jen581791 congrats on your 2 year surgiversary!  (A little late). You’ve done amazing!

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6 hours ago, Cheesehead said:

@Jen581791 congrats on your 2 year surgiversary!  (A little late). You’ve done amazing!

Thanks, @Cheesehead! I have been meaning to update my blog, but life has been hectic. All goes well, and I'll try to get something up this week - I need to take a new photo! :) 

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Congratulations from me also @Jen581791. Gosh time has flown by.

I've got my two year check at the end of next month..... a bit early for me but have to do when the surgeon is actually here. Not expecting any issues to come up,  and it's nice to get it checked off and out of the way. @NerdyToothpick & @BurgundyBoy  2 year anniversaries can't be far away either. I know both were ahead of me and @Nana Trish was about two weeks after me. What a bunch of big losers we all turned out to be. :)

Edited by Aussie Bear

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11 hours ago, Jen581791 said:

Omg, I spent the weekend at the beach with a bunch of younger-than-me very fit people. I did a lot of chanting. It's a real struggle. "Hey, let's run around on the beach in our bikinis!" Yikes. I jiggle a lot more than I should for my size. I hope their inner dialogs are focused on their own issues so they maybe weren't so concerned with checking out mine???

It is still winter here in the NE but we were at a convention in FL over the week w/ 4 other couples that we are very close with (none of them know I had surgery bc, frankly only my family knows still).  we went down very early Sunday so my husband and i spent the day on Coco beach which was perfect bc i am far to saggy in my bathing suit to share that experience w/ even my closet friends.  The conference was over Wed at noon and we weren’t scheduled to fly out until 10 pm so my husband and i were going back to the beach until one other couple wanted to spend the day w/ us and head back to the airport together as they didn’t have a rental car. I debated about it long and hard in my head.  I love these two ppl but she is so tiny and naturally thin (and much younger) and I knew that despite my enjoying this couple, I knew i would be totally distracted the whole time w/ my own body issues and never have an ounce of peace or fun.  Instead, I suggested we go to Disney Springs for the afternoon which was a lot of fun (and free) and we were still out in the gorgeous. Florida sunshine!  It was a win-win w/o me being obsessed with ME! :)

while at the beach on Sunday though, I wasn’t as crazy as I could have been bc I kept seeing other ppl that looked the same as me (or worse yet, were wearing a bikini when they had no license to!!! Haha!).  I have come to the conclusion that only 1-3% of the people on beaches look good in a bathing suit so i am definitely in the majority. I am ok as long as they are strangers or my husband/kids, but I still can’t deal w/ friends yet.  Probably never will and so I just will avoid situations where I would have to.  We live on the east coast but rarely go the shore w/ anyone other than family so I am probably pretty safe avoiding it!

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@CheeringCJ, glad you could find a compromise workaround. I'm really really working on being OK with my body because beach is a pretty normal part of life here. Sadly, I am pretty distracted by my body issues while at the beach, but it's getting easier. I can't imagine spending the weekend (actually 2 weekends in a row now) at the beach with younger, fitter friends, but I seem to have survived it. I totally agree with the 1-3%, but I wish the other 97% of us could just feel OK about being there doing beach things and not being self-conscious! Maybe someday I'll be a stronger person, and I actually feel somewhat OK, depending on the activity. I try to keep thinking to myself: Hey, two years ago I wouldn't have gone to the beach at all, probably not even in a maxi dress. And now I'm OK with about 90% of my body. That's a huge leap, and really I should be proud. We should all be proud of the amazing progress we've made. The woman who feels comfortable frolicking in a bikini is a rare bird.

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*sigh*

I don't even need to compare myself to others to notice my skin issues. Maybe it is time for shelling out the money and getting plastics after all. However, I lately noticed my weight is not stable at the moment. 

I cancelled all dairy around X-mas (reflux issues) and a few weeks later I'm about 4 kg down. I also started doing more exercise again as my shoulder seems to be finally getting better.

Anyway what's bothering me a lot is that my body seems to be out of proportion. The prominent clavicles definitely don't match my midsection.

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7 hours ago, summerset said:

*sigh*

I don't even need to compare myself to others to notice my skin issues. Maybe it is time for shelling out the money and getting plastics after all. However, I lately noticed my weight is not stable at the moment. 

I cancelled all dairy around X-mas (reflux issues) and a few weeks later I'm about 4 kg down. I also started doing more exercise again as my shoulder seems to be finally getting better.

Anyway what's bothering me a lot is that my body seems to be out of proportion. The prominent clavicles definitely don't match my midsection.

Yes, I too have clavicles with a knife's edge, but squidgy other parts (my thighs, sigh). Ah, if only spot reduction were a possible thing. What's going on with your (lack of) weight stability? Is it behavior related, or mysterious?

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Oh, I thought it would be clear that it's because of cutting out dairy (completely now) and exercising more (again) because my shoulder pain got better. :) 

Edited by summerset

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On ‎1‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 6:26 AM, Jen581791 said:

I’m shopping in Dubai this weekend and my goodness - it’s been taking me three or four tries before I find the right size! I’m over correcting, choosing sizes too big, then too small, then too big again. 

Sometimes I look in the mirror and see a surprisingly skinny person and other times I see a fat girl. My logical brain knows I’m pretty thin now, but my emotional brain sees big thighs. But big thighs don’t fit into size 6 jeans. And mine suddenly do. So therefore they must not be big. But then they look like they are when I’m sitting down. It about gives me whiplash. 

It’ll take a while, I think.

Shopping is pretty fun now, though. I can try in anything I like in any store! Which sends me into a tailspin of indecision. Is this my style? Could it be? I’m learning how to dress in a way that’s not “attempted fat camouflage.” I never really wrapped my head around how big I got, but I certainly dressed to hide the fact. 

I know what you mean when you say fat camouflage with clothes.  I also was doing just this after all the weight loss.  I went shopping last month and pretty much bought a new wardrobe, so now people keep stopping me saying you have lost so much weight and I say no, I weigh the same as I did 5 months ago and I have not been losing more weight I just started wearing clothes that fit.

@Jen581791 Congrats on your 2 year surgiversary !!   Time sure has flown by quickly.

Edited by tracyringo

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7 hours ago, tracyringo said:

I know what you mean when you say fat camouflage with clothes.  I also was doing just this after all the weight loss.  I went shopping last month and pretty much bought a new wardrobe, so now people keep stopping me saying you have lost so much weight and I say no, I weigh the same as I did 5 months ago and I have not been losing more weight I just started wearing clothes that fit.

@Jen581791 Congrats on your 2 year surgiversary !!   Time sure has flown by quickly.

Thank you, Tracy! Time has definitely flown by - and my how life has changed. 

So glad to hear that you're wearing properly sized clothing now. That makes all the difference. Celebrate the place that you are and dress yourself for that celebration! :) 

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On 2/24/2019 at 11:14 AM, Jen581791 said:

Yes, I too have clavicles with a knife's edge, but squidgy other parts (my thighs, sigh). Ah, if only spot reduction were a possible thing.

SAME!!  My shoulders are all bony and my clavicles are straight and clear, but I can definitely pinch a HANDFUL in some lower areas.  Leah keeps saying I'm skinny and should stop worrying now, but I tell her I can point to every single pound between me and my goal weight...

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@Jen581791, Congratulations on your 2 year anniversary! Fantastic! You rock!!

@Aussie Bear, @Nana Trish, @NerdyToothpick, @BurgundyBoy - All nearing 2 year surgiversaries too! Wow! The All Star team of TT!  Congratulations to all of you and thank you so much for staying here! You all inspire in SO many ways! 

Sorry I've been away. Been working out of town and feeling unbalanced with too much work and stress. I need more TT in my life! :)  

I did get to travel to Hawaii last week, and did the bathing suit thing.

Good side - before I went I ordered a bunch of stuff from Land's End on clearance, and actually had fun picking bathing suits out! Picked lots of tops and bottoms to mix and match. First time I EVER halfway enjoyed buying bathing suits!

Bad side - I have had the mantra for months that "I spent so many years hating my body because it's fat. I REFUSE to now hate my thin body because it has extra skin." Well, that's easier said in winter leggings than in shorts and bathing suits! :lol: I did feel pretty darn self conscious with my legs out. I kept fearing everyone was secretly horrified when they saw me. 

When I think about it, though I have to share something. When we first moved to Houston, it was my first time to play golf with women. A group of ladies (about 15 years my senior) sort of adopted me and I played with them frequently. They all were fit, were awesome, and all had saggy knees sticking out of their golf shorts/skirts. :P I remember thinking that they looked great, were out being healthy, showed alot of confidence, and who cares about saggy knees! I aspired to remember and be like them one day. Well, guess what, 15 years later, that one day is here! Even if I didn't ever have obesity and heavy weight loss my knees would still be wrinkly and saggy! And now I'm trim enough to fit in shorts, so I should just do it and be brave like them! Who cares if I have more skin than most? If that's the breaks, I'll take it. 

On the other hand, my girlfriend in Hawaii had a suggestion. She wears alot of tunics and short dresses, and wears white cotton capri leggings with them so she doesn't have any wardrobe mishaps. She's young, gorgeous and fit, but is a real estate agent so is out with public alot and wants to look professional, but still casual. Well, I found white (and other colors) capri leggings in the girls dept at Target for $5.00! Hah! I think I'll try them out this summer with my shorter dresses and skirts. 

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55 minutes ago, Cindy Lou Who said:

She wears alot of tunics and short dresses, and wears white cotton capri leggings with them

I do the tunics and dresses with leggings thing all the time. In my case, it's due to modesty conventions where I live - but that's fine with me, since I can sort of have the feeling of wearing short-ish skirts, but I don't actually have to show my legs! ;) 

Congrats on a fun trip to Hawaii. A tropical vacation is such a different thing for a thin person, isn't it? :D Your plan to not hate your extra skin sounds like a great one, but one that probably has to come in stages - years of body issues don't disappear overnight. It's more of a goal than a commandment, I guess.

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That's one worry I'm glad I don't have - what to wear for work??

I wear something that looks like a blue colored potato sack for work and that's that, LOL.

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I love burmuda shorts!  I hate feeling my thigh jiggle when I walk.  It’s the only part that jiggles.  Lol!

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@Aussie Bear @Cindy Lou Who and everyone else....

Well, this is a topic that I think about, but don't obsess about. Yes I have funny jiggly skin bits in my upper thighs, and if I position myself like 4-legged animal on my arms and legs, I have droopy bits around my lower abdomen and pelvis. Plus I have those wrinkles on the lower part of my buttocks where they join the backs of my upper legs. Unless I'm at the beach or in a pool though none of that is very apparent. And, to be frank, I don't care anymore. 

I did have a little boy ask me why my belly button is not perfectly neat, but is instead inside a long horizontal fold of (remnant) extra skin. I just told him I had lost some weight and that was what happens. He nodded solemnly and then went on with more important things than talking to me.  :cool:

Overall I've lost so much weight that THAT is the dominant thing that people see. I just met with an old friend of 10+ years who hasn't seen me in 3 years - boy was she shocked! And she didn't talk about those little jiggly bits. She said I looked decades younger and she asked about my health.  A year ago I was still using a cane because of my hip pain / osteoarthritis - > that's gone too.  That is what people REALLY notice. 

But yes there are things I see... If my weight goes up 5 pounds, it appears to go right to my much reduced but still there facial jowls; to my neck (e.g. my neck size may go up a quarter inch); and that funny spot right where your biceps muscle attaches to your lower arm - so when you bend your arm, there is a tiny ring of blubber there.  It does not have much emotional weight though, I seem to view it as just a set of sensitive signs that I need to adhere more rigourously to my Path and get to the Gym. 

 

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1 hour ago, BurgundyBoy said:

 

But yes there are things I see... If my weight goes up 5 pounds, it appears to go right to my much reduced but still there facial jowls; to my neck (e.g. my neck size may go up a quarter inch); and that funny spot right where your biceps muscle attaches to your lower arm - so when you bend your arm, there is a tiny ring of blubber there.  It does not have much emotional weight though, I seem to view it as just a set of sensitive signs that I need to adhere more rigourously to my Path and get to the Gym. 

 

I feel that even this far out my weight shifts.  I don’t gain so I can’t explain it.  Right now my jeans are baggy and the upper arms on some of my shirts feel snugger.  Maybe it’s the snow I’m shoveling.  But I have rationalized that my proportions shift from time to time.  

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4 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

that funny spot right where your biceps muscle attaches to your lower arm - so when you bend your arm, there is a tiny ring of blubber there.

Yup, I've got that too! 

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5 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

@Aussie Bear @Cindy Lou Who and everyone else....

Well, this is a topic that I think about, but don't obsess about. Yes I have funny jiggly skin bits in my upper thighs, and if I position myself like 4-legged animal on my arms and legs, I have droopy bits around my lower abdomen and pelvis. Plus I have those wrinkles on the lower part of my buttocks where they join the backs of my upper legs. Unless I'm at the beach or in a pool though none of that is very apparent. And, to be frank, I don't care anymore. 

I did have a little boy ask me why my belly button is not perfectly neat, but is instead inside a long horizontal fold of (remnant) extra skin. I just told him I had lost some weight and that was what happens. He nodded solemnly and then went on with more important things than talking to me.  :cool:

Overall I've lost so much weight that THAT is the dominant thing that people see. I just met with an old friend of 10+ years who hasn't seen me in 3 years - boy was she shocked! And she didn't talk about those little jiggly bits. She said I looked decades younger and she asked about my health.  A year ago I was still using a cane because of my hip pain / osteoarthritis - > that's gone too.  That is what people REALLY notice. 

But yes there are things I see... If my weight goes up 5 pounds, it appears to go right to my much reduced but still there facial jowls; to my neck (e.g. my neck size may go up a quarter inch); and that funny spot right where your biceps muscle attaches to your lower arm - so when you bend your arm, there is a tiny ring of blubber there.  It does not have much emotional weight though, I seem to view it as just a set of sensitive signs that I need to adhere more rigourously to my Path and get to the Gym. 

 

I’d call them battle scars! It’s like a battle for health, and you’re surely on the winner’s side.

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11 minutes ago, Boston Redhead said:

I’d call them battle scars! It’s like a battle for health, and you’re surely on the winner’s side.

I'd like this a million times over if I could!

I had my WLS later in life and with a 30+ year history of yoyo dieting - only to find myself ending up heavier than I was when I started, I have some loose excess skin (tummy and thighs especially).

My insurance would only cover the removal if it caused medical issues so I knew from the onset that unless I dipped into my savings, removal was not an option.  And fact is, it doesn't affect the quality of my life - far from it.  It's a constant reminder of the result of being in a place that I never want to visit again.

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On 3/3/2019 at 4:47 AM, BurgundyBoy said:

@Aussie Bear @Cindy Lou Who and everyone else....

Well, this is a topic that I think about, but don't obsess about. Yes I have funny jiggly skin bits in my upper thighs, and if I position myself like 4-legged animal on my arms and legs, I have droopy bits around my lower abdomen and pelvis. Plus I have those wrinkles on the lower part of my buttocks where they join the backs of my upper legs. Unless I'm at the beach or in a pool though none of that is very apparent. And, to be frank, I don't care anymore. 

I did have a little boy ask me why my belly button is not perfectly neat, but is instead inside a long horizontal fold of (remnant) extra skin. I just told him I had lost some weight and that was what happens. He nodded solemnly and then went on with more important things than talking to me.  :cool:

Overall I've lost so much weight that THAT is the dominant thing that people see. I just met with an old friend of 10+ years who hasn't seen me in 3 years - boy was she shocked! And she didn't talk about those little jiggly bits. She said I looked decades younger and she asked about my health.  A year ago I was still using a cane because of my hip pain / osteoarthritis - > that's gone too.  That is what people REALLY notice. 

But yes there are things I see... If my weight goes up 5 pounds, it appears to go right to my much reduced but still there facial jowls; to my neck (e.g. my neck size may go up a quarter inch); and that funny spot right where your biceps muscle attaches to your lower arm - so when you bend your arm, there is a tiny ring of blubber there.  It does not have much emotional weight though, I seem to view it as just a set of sensitive signs that I need to adhere more rigourously to my Path and get to the Gym. 

 

 

On 3/3/2019 at 6:26 AM, Cheesehead said:

I feel that even this far out my weight shifts.  I don’t gain so I can’t explain it.  Right now my jeans are baggy and the upper arms on some of my shirts feel snugger.  Maybe it’s the snow I’m shoveling.  But I have rationalized that my proportions shift from time to time

 

On 3/3/2019 at 9:17 AM, Jen581791 said:

Yup, I've got that too! 

 

On 3/3/2019 at 10:21 AM, Boston Redhead said:

I’d call them battle scars! It’s like a battle for health, and you’re surely on the winner’s side.

 

On 3/3/2019 at 10:40 AM, cinwa said:

I'd like this a million times over if I could!

I had my WLS later in life and with a 30+ year history of yoyo dieting - only to find myself ending up heavier than I was when I started, I have some loose excess skin (tummy and thighs especially).

My insurance would only cover the removal if it caused medical issues so I knew from the onset that unless I dipped into my savings, removal was not an option.  And fact is, it doesn't affect the quality of my life - far from it.  It's a constant reminder of the result of being in a place that I never want to visit again.

What a fantastic conversation! This is the reason I love this site. You guys are SO spot on. Thank you!

I currently have alot of loose skin - on my thighs, on my upper arms, alot on my lower butt, and a little on my stomach. Like @cinwa I have yoyo-ed my whole life. I remember my MIL saying that you wear the past on your face. Well, I wear the past on my body. :lol: I was obese, and didn't lose it all until I was 57. So now I will always have extra skin. This thread reminds me that no one else cares. And I don't do all this work to now fret over skin. I do it to be healthy in my future! Yes, I have extra skin. But no more CPAP machine, no more fat "wings" on my back, no more losing my breath when I tie my shoes, no more ankle pain every afternoon, no more embarrassment on airplanes, no more dreading clothing stores, no more upper arms that I thought looked like huge hams, no more high blood pressure. The list is endless! Skin, schmin, not a big deal! 

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Everyone looks better with clothes on anyways!  My avatar shows the loose skin on my thighs.  Battle scars.  Or lines on my road map of life?  

Nsv my friend:):)

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