Mevva

Am I ready for this surgery???

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Hi everyone, I have been reading a lot of the posts and really appreciate everyones time they put into responding to people.

I have surgery for gastric bypass booked for April 4/18 in Mexico.  After much research I have decided to go to Mexico for the surgery and pay out of pocket because the wait time where I live to have it covered under our medical is 2-5years and I am not getting any younger.

I was on the fence for a long time in whether to get the surgery or not but made the decision one day to get it when I couldn't participate in my daughters "Bring A Parent" day in gymnastics because of my bad osteoarthritic knee.  I know my excess 100lbs on my body has played havoc on my physical health.

Once I booked the surgery I thought that would be enough motivation to start losing the 10%body weight before the surgery which I have 3 months to lose.  Well the first week has gone by and I find myself wanting to eat all those "special" meals that I feel I won't be able to eat again in a long time if not at all.  I know this is not the right mindset to go into this with and that everyone I have talked to said the biggest thing that needs to change for this surgery is our mindset.   I am scarred that if I can't change now, will I be ready for this major life altering process?  Maybe I am not ready enough, will I ever be ready?

I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this "On the fence, off the fence" situation in regards to getting the surgery?  Also any advice on how to get into the right mindset, what worked for you.

Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciate.

Cheers

Pam

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Pam, first off, welcome to the forum! There is a ton of good information here and lots of good people willing to help you on this journey. I have to say, reading your post, I get the feeling you are really torn about this decision.

Here are a few questions that may help put this into perspective.

Is your life more important than those "special" meals?

Is that plate piled with food more important than being there for your daughter?

Would you trade your daughter's happiness for your "special" meals?

Answer those questions and see where you land. If your love of food is the most important thing in your life, then you are most assuredly not ready for this surgery.

Best of luck to you!

 

 

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Hi @Mevva. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with the pre-op loss requirement. It's hard to work up the motivation since it's really hard to believe in the potential success in the early days, especially since I assume you have spent a lot of your life failing at dieting, as most of us (all of us?) have. But this is different. It will work, but you do have to follow some rules. Personally, I was so absolutely desperate and determined when I scheduled my surgery in Mexico that from that day, I was on my best behavior. My mindset was really that this was my one last shot and there was no way I was going to do anything other than my very very best. I drew a lot of hard lines in the sand and did not cross them at all for a long time. I'm not sure why that worked for me, but it did - it really just felt like this golden once-in-a-lifetime do-over was so important not to mess up. I hope you can dig in and find that within yourself. You'll be surprised at how strong you can be, but you have to make yourself do it.

That said, you have about three months, and can totally lose your 10% in that time. I lost 20 pounds in the five weeks before my surgery. Many people here have had great success with doing really low carb combined with low cal in pre-op. It's good mental and physical training for how you have to eat afterwards, too. I set myself a hard limit of 1200 calories per day, and kept it very very low carb by not eating any bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, crackers, sweets, grains, etc, etc. I ate mostly eggs, fake meat (I'm mostly vegetarian), some seafood (fish and shrimp), greek yogurt, cottage cheese, string cheese, protein shakes, and lots of vegetables, particularly green leafy ones and cruciferous stuff like broccoli. I wasn't particularly stingy on fats (eggs cooked in butter or olive oil, plus olive oil and vinegar on salads). I made sure that the stuff I needed to eat was the only stuff in the house. I also started walking every day. Maybe some of those ideas can help you - but eventually you'll have to find that spark within you that believes that this can help you get thinner and healthier. 

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@Mevva

You can't expect to have all the discipline in the world the same day you decide you want to get rid of your excess weight via WLS. But you can create the habits you need to succeed and this will build your confidence that you can do this. 

The mindset is an attitude of resilience... if you overeat you pick yourself up, talk to yourself honestly and authentically what you did, and then get on with the program. @TP1210 rightly points out that your overall priority has to be that all the good in life is more important than eating a bag of potato chips. It sounds almost silly to say that but... in the moment the Twinkies "always" seem to win over the Good. Just saying out loud, "I will not die early from a stroke and heart failure and diabetes or obesity-related cancer" when you look at your larder means something. Try it. 

We eat for emotional reasons and physiological reasons. We don't eat too much because we are rational and can think our way forward. We overeat because of some emotional triggers and also because some foods / our bodies team up to ask for more. If you look at the response animals - and humans - have to sugar it looks like the response to cocaine. They both goose up the levels of dopamine in your brain. Having rational good thoughts is necessary and really important but don't neglect the fact that when you diet your body thinks you are starving and physiologically sabotages your efforts by turning your metabolism down. Dopamine makes us feel good. This feeds into the emotional eating. So (for example, a bit tongue in cheek) let's say your parents didn't love you as much as your siblings and you got dumped by the love of your life and your boss yells at you. It stinks but you have to find a more constructive way to deal with this than carbo-fueled dopamine. 

So some of the good news is that the ketogenic diet @Jen581791 mentions gets you to a place where hunger is uncommon and weight loss really happens. The first 3-5 days can be tough and then it's fine. You burn fat like a bandit. This kind of diet helps you to get around the physiological sabotage. People also talk about how clear-headed they are. You can do this. You get to eat protein and fat. If you need to treat yourself well for the first few days make yourself delicious omelets and eat steaks or hamburger patties with melted cheese. Do whatever it takes to get through that period.

Throw the crap food out of the house. You can't snack on chips if there aren't any. Give that lifetime supply of pasta that you got at Costco away to the local homeless shelter. 

Don't go with your friends to the local all-you-can-eat place thinking you will just eat salad. What a setup stacked against your best intentions. Go to a movie or a play or almost anything else instead. 

Every time you want to eat something caloric when you feel emotionally weak - pop some gum into your mouth, or a lemon lozenge, or make a cup of chicken broth. Sometimes the reward you need isn't calories, it's stuff that these can replace. 

You can do this. None of us are perfect. You can maximize your odds by being coldly rational about the benefits of WLS, by adopting proven diets that help minimize hunger, and by avoiding the triggers or situations that lead to ... dietary indiscretion. 

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Welcome to the forum!

I am in almost the same position that you are in as far as my eating pre op goes. The difference is that I am not required to lose any weight until I do my month long pre op Optifast diet. Then I will need to lose 8% of my excess body weight. Plus I will be on liquids for a month post op.

I would still be much better off and safer if i lost some now. But, I have been the same as you are with my eating. I love to cook and have found myself making things that I have not made in years. I think that in the back of my mind I am thinking it is better to eat now because I am looking at 2 months of liquids very soon. Plus, if I lose weight now it may be harder to drop the 8% the month before surgery. Not very rational. I know.

I have been working on things such as drinking water, reducing caffeine, carbs and exercise. Just last week I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app and started tracking what I eat and drink. That has been helpful to see the amount of calories I am consuming. It may help you.

My Dr will not move forward with the surgery if I don't lose the 8% excess body weight during the month long pre op diet.

I still know for absolute certain that I am ready for this change. I know that I have to work on my mindset but feel it will be much easier post op when I am not hungry all of the time.

Move forward with the surgery. Do it for your health.

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I have never regretted having my gastric bypass - indeed my only regret is that I did not have it sooner.

My weight loss surgery gave me a very powerful tool to allow me to lose weight and keep that weight off.  With a gastric bypass, modifying my outlook on food was not difficult. 

Life as a thin, healthy and more active person is so much better than my life prior to surgery as an overweight person.

We are here to support and inform you on your weight loss surgery journey.  Welcome to TTF.

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Hi, @Mevva - welcome!  I started my path to RNY actually assuming I probably wouldn't do it.  I had succeeded in losing 100 lbs a few years prior, and then gained it all back - and I was basically convinced of two things:

1) If I worked hard enough, I could do it again

2) I couldn't work hard enough, and even with surgery, wouldn't be able to do it again

I told myself, though, that I would just go through the steps, and make up my mind on the way.  I didn't have to pay anything out of pocket until I'd been to several appointments anyway, and there was a wait list for appointments, so I had time.  I made the appointments in February, and didn't really think about it again until April - my first appointment was 4/26.  So I did a bunch of research, decided on what surgery I should have (GERD made the sleeve a no-go for me) and went to meet the surgeon totally sure I wasn't going to do it.  If nothing else, I figured my health anxiety wouldn't stand for it.  But after that appointment, I did start seriously low-carbing it... just in case. 

At every appointment, I would say, I'm really not likely to do this.  And then, I would go to the next appointment.  And the next.  Until the day they said, "OK, you are six weeks out from your proposed surgery date, so we really need you to commit (by way of paying our $450 program fee)."  And... I paid them.  That day, I came home from the doctor's office and told my room mate, "Well, I gave them money, so I guess this thing is happening."  Since I'd been telling HER all along that I probably wouldn't do it, we were both a little shell shocked.  :) 

Once I was actually really committed to the surgery, I did commit to the pre-op weight loss, though.  My surgeon didn't set a goal, just calmly informed me that the less I weighed, the safer the surgery would be.  I also didn't have a requirement for a liquid diet prior to surgery ... I was just supposed to do two protein shakes and a small protein meal a day for the last four weeks.  But I took a week before I started to have some "food funerals."  (Looking at what I ate in farewell before really knuckling down, it's like a list of everything that made me fat in the first place!)  I ended up losing 57 lbs before surgery all together, between April and September, so I felt about 57 lbs safer when I went "under the knife."

What I can tell you as a fellow waffler is that the dieting you are doing now, that is so difficult, is white-knuckle dieting.  It gets MUCH easier after surgery.  Not necessarily because you don't want good food anymore - I'm one of those people who had a big change in hunger (I don't have any now) but no real change in my desire to eat the stuff I liked before, and still like.  But in addition to the rapid gratification of watching the numbers on the scale drop after surgery, you will also have changes in the amount you can eat, and the kinds of foods that "feel good" when you eat them.  The surgery itself removes a lot of the barriers to eating properly that you're still battling right now, in the pre-surgical period. 

And this forum helps!  In fact, I attribute a large part of my decision to go through with surgery to this forum - having so many smart, informative, compassionate veterans coaching and reassuring me on the way made me feel like success was a real thing that could really happen for ME.  I hope you stick around and let us be that resource for you, too!

 

 

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Wow, thank you to @TP1210, @Jen581791, @BurgundyBoy, @Readytobeme, @Res Ipsa, and @Kio.  I truly appreciate the time you guys took to respond to my post and all the valuable insight, personal experiences, and tips you gave me.  There was something from everyone of you that hit a "awe ha" with me and I am going to take those insights and tips and put them to use.  

I like how you worded it @TP1210 about the "special meals" and are those special meals more important than my life/health and my daughter because when you put it that way, "HECK NO"!!!  I need to remind myself of that constantly.  

And I love how you said J581791 that you had to draw hard lines in the sand.  That is what it is going to take, and like Kio said, white knuckle dieting.  I laughed when you call it a "food funeral" but that is how it feels like!!!  

So true, Burgundyboy, none of us are perfect and I don't know why I expect myself to be perfect.  I know that the first 3 days are usually the hardest when we cut things out and I will try the Ketogenic diet.  The funny thing is that I know how to lose weight, just like the rest of you, the question is - how long will it last?  That is why I am choosing the have the gastric bypass because it increases my odds of keeping off the weight.

Thanks for sharing Readytobeme,   it is funny how our minds work isn't it. Eating things that we haven't eaten in a while only because we think we may not be able to eat it again.  I know that this is a lifelong journey and like many have said on this forum, we need to work on changing our old habits with new healthy ones.

It was on one of your posts that I read earlier Res Ipsa that made me decide to get the surgery in Mexico vs waiting 2-5 years to have it covered in my province.  You said you have never regretted having the surgery, the only thing that you regret is that you didn't have it done sooner.  That is how I feel, life is too short to live on the sidelines.  And it is probably a "normal" feeling to wonder if I will get this one right, unlike the many other times I have lost a lot of weight to gain it back again, to lose again, and to gain again.

Kio, I could totally relate to everything you said and I it is so helpful to hear how everyone is dealing with their own challenges and triumphs.  

From everyone that replied to my post, would all of you say that you definitely don't "feel" as hungry as before?  Do you all suffer from the "head hunger" that is common?

My sister had gastric bypass 1.5yrs ago and is doing great.  It has been fun to hear all the things that are better when you are skinnier.  One thing she just mentioned was that when you are skinnier, you have smaller clothes and can pack more into a suitcase!  lol.  I never even thought of that bonus.  

Does anyone want to share a few things about their weight loss that is beneficial that you never knew would be?

Again I truly appreciate the time everyone put into writing back to me and I hope I will be able to be as helpful to others in a year or so.

Cheers

 

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@Mevva Welcome to the forum! You’ll find that people around here are a friendly and helpful bunch. 

People have done a fine job of answering your initial question. I’ll address how WLS has been beneficial to me. 

I was an insulin resistant diabetic and I found myself continually ill. I wasn’t able to enjoy daily activities because I was always weak and dizzy. I was on four (? I’ve honestly forgotten) types of insulin and well as other diabetes related meds. I also had a CPAP machine that I used nightly. My insurance would not pay for WLS, so I also went to Mexico to have surgery. My life has improved in ways I could have never dreamt. My diabetes is in remission and I stopped taking meds nine days post op. I haven’t used the CPAP machine since the day before my surgery. I now have more energy to play with my two year old daughter. I have never regretted paying out of pocket for surgery. 

Think how your new life will impact your daughter. Your daughter will no longer know you as a sick and unhealthy person. You'll be able to keep up with her. You’ll live longer and be happier. WLS is the best gift you can give yourself and your family. 

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I was terrified to have surgery. So terrified I told myself I could opt out at any point up until the time they knocked me out in the OR. I had a terrible time with my pre-op diet. I was supposed to be on a liquid diet for two weeks. I don't think I stuck to it for even one day. My food addiction was so strong I was scared I would never feel joy again if I couldn't eat the same foods and amount of food. Even the morning of surgery as we were driving to the hospital I kept asking myself and my husband - have I made the right decision?! Am I doing the right thing?! I'm pretty sure I told him I had $10K in my purse and we could drive right past the hospital and head to Mexico and forget all about this crazy surgery idea. 

That was over 4 years ago and I haven't looked back since. I'm healthier and happier. I decided the day I had WLS I was hitting the reset button my life. Not only am I healthier and happier, food no longer rules my life and my emotions. I do things I either hadn't done in years or I'd never done. I run, scuba dive, wear 4" heels and I can walk fast in them. I ride roller coasters. I choose to sit in the middle seat on planes - simply because I can! 

Here are a couple of unexpected changes since I lost weight. While I was fat, I still worked out at the gym, wore a bathing suit at the beach, etc. Often I was the fattest person where ever I went. From time to time people would make comments about my weight. Over time I built up an invisible armor to always be prepared for when someone made a comment about my weight. I didn't even realize I was carrying around this armor until after I lost weight and could let it go. At 44 years old, for the first time in my life, I liked my body. I didn't get heavy until college but even as a normal weight teen, I didn't like my body. I never thought I would be happy with my body. And now, I am. Flaws and all, I like my body. I don't feel ashamed of it or wish it were different. 

Yes, I experience head hunger - it is still my instinct to celebrate and console with food. But I don't obsess about food the way I did for 2+ decades. Getting sleeved is the best decision I ever made. 

Edited by Stephtay

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Welcome @Mevva. I can totally relate to what your sister said about packing more clothes in a suitcase. I've made many trips away from home and got very used to what would fit in my small suitcase. So much so that I'd often lay some clothes out a couple of days earlier before leaving to get my bag out at the last minute. It was probably about the time I went from plus size to normal that I realised I could get pretty much double the number of clothes in the same bag. For indecisive me that was a huge bonus!!!!. I'm away from home at the moment and for this trip I didn't even have enough clothes to fill my bag.

At the time I found out that I needed revisional surgery I was having to lose about 65lbs of weight to have orthopaedic surgery on my foot. I also live in a country where the wait time can be up to 5 years. I knew I couldn't wait for WLS so I also decided to go ketogenic as I'd lost 100+ lbs that way before. Everytime I felt tempted to stray I focussed on the pain in my foot and decided the ortho surgery was more important to me. I refused to allow the thought of how to maintain any weightloss to sideline me, I just had to focus all my attention on getting it off so I could start the process to get my foot repaired. As it turned out I was only put on the surgery waitlist in mid Nov 2016 and had my surgery in May 2017. I met the BMI requirement for my foot surgery the week before my WLS. Fortunately my WLS didn't come with a BMI requirement.

I definitely don't have the hunger feelings I had prior to surgery. There are times I crave certain things, and I sometimes give into them but often find I'm disappointed with the taste of what I've craved, so it's rare that particular craving ever comes back. I wouldn't say my tastes have changed but I definitely don't enjoy the same foods I used to as much. I usually only eat because I know I need to or I'll feel quite dizzy and out of sorts. My surgeon says the hunger feelings will more than likely return at around a year post surgery....im very much hoping I'm one of the lucky ones and they don't.

Edited by Aussie H
Autocorrect turned my post into gobbledegook!!!! Sorry.

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@Mevva

Yes to head hunger - not much physiological hunger. When my head gets out of control with food desire I try to just pop a lemon lozenge or have some broth - like an ex-smoker who wants something in his/her hand (I'm not) sometimes I just want something to handle or taste or chew. 

My biggest challenges include snacking at night. Again, just have something on hand to pop in like the lemon lozenge or some seaweed that's not caloric....

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Welcome @Mevva!  i bet you're more ready than you think!  I don't know if you ever think you're "ready" for anything....like remember this quandry.... "am I ready to have kids?" (meaning can you afford them/care for them/provide for them etc)...if I waited until  I could afford kids, I wouldn't have the 5 i have!!! hahaha!  But at some point you just decide to take a leap of faith and just do it!  You've already started heading up that hill.....will you be ready to take your leap of faith in April?  Probably! :) The best thing to do is to immerse yourself here and gather all the info you need (info=power!) while you are waiting.  

I just had my surgery 9 weeks ago today and I haven't regretted a single second of it!!!!  I have lost 40#, and tons of inches....my fall clothes have been retired because they were falling off and I am looking better and feeling better than I have in years and it has only been 9 wks!!!  I bet you will be here in June saying the same thing about yourself!  

I thought I'd miss food but I really am not fretting over it at all.  I find alternates but I also find that when I see everyone else eating and I am using my tiny plate that doesn't have much on it...I don't really WANT any more once I start eating bc I fill up so fast!  And by filling up, I am satisfied and don't want/need more. You too will be amazed at how much you change after surgery!  

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I' m right there with you. I'm sitting here going back and forth should i or shouldnt i. I just dont know why i cant commit. I'm 34 and 260lbs 5 kids I homeschool. I guess I'm finding it hard to put the time in to meal plan and count calories and work out, but I see that even with the surgery I will have to find the time to do those things.... So I'm kinda like whats different, if I can't do it now will I after vsg? Anyone struggle with that?

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17 hours ago, Mevva said:

From everyone that replied to my post, would all of you say that you definitely don't "feel" as hungry as before?  Do you all suffer from the "head hunger" that is common?

Welcome @Mevva!  I still feel hunger, if I have gone a while without eating.  I also have head hunger - oh the mind games!  Though I experience hunger, the biggest change is I really cannot go crazy overeating since there is physically a lot less room in my pouch.  If you eat too much you are REALLY uncomfortable and won't want to do it again.

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1 hour ago, Lacy02 said:

I' m right there with you. I'm sitting here going back and forth should i or shouldnt i. I just dont know why i cant commit. I'm 34 and 260lbs 5 kids I homeschool. I guess I'm finding it hard to put the time in to meal plan and count calories and work out, but I see that even with the surgery I will have to find the time to do those things.... So I'm kinda like whats different, if I can't do it now will I after vsg? Anyone struggle with that?

If it helps you, the overwhelming reason that I had my gastric bypass a few years ago was my two sons.  I wanted to be at their weddings (which have not yet occurred), and to watch my grandchildren (of which I have none so far) grow up into adulthood.  Even though I was relatively "healthy" for an overweight person, I knew that I had no realistic chance of living a long time if I remained overweight - due to the greatly increased risks of death from heart disease, stroke, cancer, etc. that overweight people have.  I did not want to have a heart attack at age 55 or 60 and have my last thought be that I could have prevented this by having weight loss surgery.  No pizza, cheeseburger, French fry or donut is worth more to me than longevity with my family.

Quite simply, I had the surgery due to my profound love of my children - becoming thin, healthy and more active is just a (really wonderful) bonus. :D

Finally, I would not worry about too much about not being able to follow the food plan after your surgery - all of us here at TTF have failed at normal dieting (which is why we had the surgery) and the surgery allows you to gain control of your food intake, to lose a lot of weight, to keep it off long term, and to gain a new relationship with food.

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Wow, thanks again to all the added comments from everyone.  It is so cool that I can truly say that I relate to something each and every one you have said.  The one thing I noticed as a common denominator in what every one wrote was that no one has regretted having the surgery!!!!!  That just re-assures me I am doing the right thing.

I have always been a very active "bigger" person, but I think because of that, it has been tough on my body in respect to the added weight on my back and joints.  This is a big reason for wanting to lose weight, decrease the stress on my joints, I already have some osteoarthritis in my knees and lower back.  I did have a L4-L5 fusion on my back a year ago and you would think having the surgeon tell me that my longevity of the surgery success would motivate me to lose the weight. Nope, it didn't.  I now have a pretty good/painless back but now my "good" knee is acting up and has some osteoarthritis in it.  I feel like I am breaking down slowly and I know that my excess 100lbs is playing havoc on my body.  

This may sound funny, but another reason I would like to lose weight is to be comfortable sitting on a plane.  Just like you said @Stephtay it would be so nice to sit in the middle seat just because you can and be comfortable too.  To be able to cross my leg or not hold my arms in across my chest so I don't touch the person beside me. I am very seriously excited about that.  

Also to not have to think twice about whether I am going to be over the weight limit for specific amusement park rides.  That must feel so awesome!!!!  

It has been so encouraging to hear other peoples stories, so keep them coming and share more.  Thanks!!!!

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8 hours ago, Mevva said:

Wow, thanks again to all the added comments from everyone.  It is so cool that I can truly say that I relate to something each and every one you have said.  The one thing I noticed as a common denominator in what every one wrote was that no one has regretted having the surgery!!!!!  That just re-assures me I am doing the right thing.

I have always been a very active "bigger" person, but I think because of that, it has been tough on my body in respect to the added weight on my back and joints.  This is a big reason for wanting to lose weight, decrease the stress on my joints, I already have some osteoarthritis in my knees and lower back.  I did have a L4-L5 fusion on my back a year ago and you would think having the surgeon tell me that my longevity of the surgery success would motivate me to lose the weight. Nope, it didn't.  I now have a pretty good/painless back but now my "good" knee is acting up and has some osteoarthritis in it.  I feel like I am breaking down slowly and I know that my excess 100lbs is playing havoc on my body.  

This may sound funny, but another reason I would like to lose weight is to be comfortable sitting on a plane.  Just like you said @Stephtay it would be so nice to sit in the middle seat just because you can and be comfortable too.  To be able to cross my leg or not hold my arms in across my chest so I don't touch the person beside me. I am very seriously excited about that.  

Also to not have to think twice about whether I am going to be over the weight limit for specific amusement park rides.  That must feel so awesome!!!!  

It has been so encouraging to hear other peoples stories, so keep them coming and share more.  Thanks!!!!

Hey @Mevva, so nice to meet you. I am glad you got so much invaluable feedback from everyone, and to be honest there is little I could add that hasn't already been said :)

What I can tell you is that if you feel like your life has become unmanageable, like you are spinning out of control and fear the worst for your future - you have made the right decision. Even though I am only a month post-op, the difference between how i felt about myself then (preop) in comparison to now is unbelievable. Yes I have lost some weight, and that is a great perk, but it is so much more than that.

Feeling like I have my life back in my hands again, knowing that I have SOME control as to what my future holds is such a relief to me. No more burying my emotions, or numbing them with food. And no more endless cycleof ! I eat because I feel bad about myself, and I feel bad about myself because I eat ! Lol. 

I really look forward to having you as part of our community, to learn and grow together, and most importantly create happier, healthier, pain reduced ( at least ) lives going forward. Best of luck!

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On 1/9/2018 at 1:00 AM, Lacy02 said:

I' m right there with you. I'm sitting here going back and forth should i or shouldnt i. I just dont know why i cant commit. I'm 34 and 260lbs 5 kids I homeschool. I guess I'm finding it hard to put the time in to meal plan and count calories and work out, but I see that even with the surgery I will have to find the time to do those things.... So I'm kinda like whats different, if I can't do it now will I after vsg? Anyone struggle with that?

The difference for me was this:

I've been on a zillion diets and lost and then gained. My motivation to really stick to a diet has been limited by this experience. I didn't really buy in to a new diet anymore ("I'll start Monday!" By Tuesday evening, something tempting had come up, and then, with a little cheating, followed by a bit more, I was not really on a diet anymore by Thursday). I knew each one would probably end in failure, as I'd proven to myself way too many times - even if I was successful at losing in the short term, it always came back. 

However, with WLS, the enforced non-negotiable changes, added to the mental help of knowing the statistics on successful patients (Most people lose most of their excess weight! Most of those people keep most of it off long-term! - instead of traditional dieting leading to only a tiny percentage of people losing a meaningful amount and the vast majority of those gaining it all back plus more: super depressing!) was the key for me. The promise of "I can probably succeed at this" was powerful. It allowed me to make the changes necessary to transform my life. 

It's not about "finding the time," I think. It's about *making* the time. You make time for what is a priority for you. 

You can do it. 

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Welcome!

My ah ha moment came on vacation.  My hubby is an avid scuba diver (we go on dive vacations twice a year):  I always used the excuse I had too many health problems and the dr wouldn’t okay it-that masked my fear of water..always telling him if I get healthy I’d do it.  I was sitting in my shorts and T-shirt (I wasn’t wearing a swim suit!) waiting for him to get back.  I got to thinking of the the grandchild my daughter was expecting, whom I wouldn’t get to see grow up.  I thought maybe taking the easy way out and getting lapband would help.  I went to the seminar when I got back, I found out bypass could possibly put my diabetes (of 18 Years) into remission; sign me up!  Unlike many I didn’t have a required amount to lose.  I did start practicing no drinking within 30 minutes of eating, cut out my Diet Pepsi addiction.  I was told I could not gain during the 6 months before.  I had a few food funerals.  The weekend before I did it up big!  The night before I had to do the 24 hours of clear liquids I didn’t have any “last meal” I was fooded out! 

I couldn’t get my mind around the changes that would take place.  All I could think was “I want to get healthy”.  And healthy I got.  I now take 1 thyroid pill a day.  I overcame my fear of water and got scuba certified (ok, a weekend course took me 8 months); I am able to play with my grandchildren, I don’t live in tshirts anymore, yes-packing for trips is fun (I pack 3 swimsuits), sitting in airplane seats is comfortable (no more trying to squish into my space), I’m no longer the largest person in the room.  I could go on.  

Yes, Head hunger exists.  I still love to cook and bake.  When Head hunger strikes I talk to myself a lot!  And I drink, because if you are drinking you shouldn’t be eating.  It’s taken me 5 years but the donut case and smell of donuts don’t interest me.  (I used to grab 2 to eat on my way home if I stopped at the store): now if I absolutely think I’m hungry I grab an apple or lunchmeat.  

Use the time leading up to surgery to change your eating habits.  Start making small changes.  The one big one is get the junk out of the house, no one needs junk (including your family).  Keep fresh fruits, veggies, Greek yogurt, and string cheese available.  

The losers bench is an awesome place to be.  

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On 1/8/2018 at 3:00 PM, Lacy02 said:

I' m right there with you. I'm sitting here going back and forth should i or shouldnt i. I just dont know why i cant commit. I'm 34 and 260lbs 5 kids I homeschool. I guess I'm finding it hard to put the time in to meal plan and count calories and work out, but I see that even with the surgery I will have to find the time to do those things.... So I'm kinda like whats different, if I can't do it now will I after vsg? Anyone struggle with that?

You need to find the time to take care of yourself.  

I waited until my 5 kids were out of the house.  Having 5 teenagers there was always someone needing me.  I still cook meals for my hubby and he likes casseroles, I slap something together but pull my protein out first, or i grab a rotisserie chicken at the store and eat off that a few days.  It doesn’t need to be gourmet, just protein.  I keep berries, Greek yogurt, apples and string cheese handy.  Anyone who comes into the house (read adult kids) know my protein bars and protein shakes are off limits.  But they can eat anything else, just let me know if something is getting down.  My grandkids love frozen grapes and yogurt..the crockpot is also my friend.  I can cook a roast and pull off a few days supply for me.  

Good luck, you can do it. 

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