CheeringCJ

I'm considering not getting the surgery after all....

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....Because I found these on eBay for only $1.39 for two and look how amazingly they make you skinny!!!!  They have real before and after pics and pics don't lie!!!  The $1.39 is for two patches, which you put on every 12-24 hrs.   It recommends a two month course, but I'm morbidly obese so I might need an extra month, but seriously I'm gonna look soooo fine when I'm done!!!  :o So glad I found them before I subjected myself to surgery!!!  (Seriously, can you believe it?!? Now I've spent thousands of dollars on weight loss programs, supplements, gym memberships and miracle cures.....but this is too much!  Who would believe this crap???)

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@CJireh

GIRL, YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK. YOUNG LADY, GO TO YOUR ROOM!

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

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These pictures are hilarious!!

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49 minutes ago, NerdyLady said:

@CJireh

GIRL, YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK. YOUNG LADY, GO TO YOUR ROOM!

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

I would LOVE to go to my room!  That isn't a punishment unless you're a kid!! hahaha!

Besides, it probably WILL work....I pretty much look like this gal on the left, only wider....and look how good I will look after two months on my new patch!!! :)

image.png

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50 minutes ago, NerdyLady said:

These pictures are hilarious!!

aren't they?  don't you love how you have to wear it right on your belly button???  What could be funnier?  But, man it is worth it...I love the sexy body when you're done!  Want me to order some for you too?  I might import cases of them to share with you all! 

Watch out, Bariatric Surgeons....you're out of a job!!!

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I like the Super-Sciency (c) arrows swirling around the body. Very convincing. The patch will make the arrows happen, and with all that swirling, who WOULDN'T lose weight???

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11 hours ago, Jen581791 said:

I like the Super-Sciency (c) arrows swirling around the body. Very convincing. The patch will make the arrows happen, and with all that swirling, who WOULDN'T lose weight???

I know, right? I was wondering if you FEEL the swirls, because I might need a motion-sickness patch too...do you think the patches are compatible?  I might need one on my navel and one on my back in order to not interrupt the flow of the swirls.  I love the way my thighs will naturally pull in too!  BINGO!  What a marvelous product!  

As for the pink sports bra girl...which one do you think is photoshopped?  the rippley belly or the flat? I am guessing the flat bc the rippley looks genuine but she really had to lean into it to make it so hideous.  

The sad part is there are desperate ppl out there who will try this.  (disclaimer: I am one of those desperate ppl but this is still under the category "too good to be true"...I need to have a shred of truth to buy it....even if it is minute)

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Those things remind me of those "It Works" wraps!! Another colossal joke!! A woman down the street from me sold those things for 2 years...she used to post her ~before and after~ photos too. Except she posted them backward...her before pics were her current pics and her after pics were from 10 years ago...before she got really heavy! She must have gained 30+ pounds while trying to schlep those things around trying to sell them. 

I've gotta tell you though, your title scared me a bit!! I agree with @NerdyLady...go to your room, young lady!! HA! :lol:

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Sadly, photoshopping weight off of your body only works in the virtual world.:rolleyes:

By the way, below is the unedited information on this patch works to get rid of "simple obesity" and a host of other ills....

Package:1 Pcs = 1Lot

Features:100% Brand New  
Color:white
Size: L*W:8*8 CM
Ingredient:
semen cassiae torae
Poria cocos
Maythorn
Immature Bitter Orange
Scutellaria baicalensis
Alisma orientalis
Angelica sinensis
Active substances of plant extract
 
Efficiency:
1.Get rid of phlegm dampness, constipation and simple obesity.
2.Evenly reduces and block the absorption of grease, sugar and starch.
3.Help burn the fat and detoxifying the toxicants accumulated in the body.
4.Significantly and effectively slims up the whole body.
 
Usage:
1. Tear the bags, pick up the sliming patch.
2. Paste the sliming patch on the navel, and then fixed with adhesive.
3. One piece every day, a sustainable external application for 12-24 hours and generally a course of one month. For even better results, try a two-month course.

 

 

HTB1kfs3OXXXXXXLXFXXq6xXFXXXG.jpg

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1 hour ago, Trish1967 said:

Those things remind me of those "It Works" wraps!! Another colossal joke!! A woman down the street from me sold those things for 2 years...she used to post her ~before and after~ photos too. Except she posted them backward...her before pics were her current pics and her after pics were from 10 years ago...before she got really heavy! She must have gained 30+ pounds while trying to schlep those things around trying to sell them. 

I've gotta tell you though, your title scared me a bit!! I agree with @NerdyLady...go to your room, young lady!! HA! :lol:

That is too funny about changing the before and after pics...hahaha!

And, like I told @NerdyLady, PLEASE send me to my room...for a nice long nap!!!! :D

 

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Just now, CJireh said:

That is too funny about changing the before and after pics...hahaha!

And, like I told @NerdyLady, PLEASE send me to my room...for a nice long nap!!!! :D

 

Hahaha...very true!! I need to be sent to my room too!! Way too much going on the past couple of weeks...

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@Res Ipsa, I did read that and laughed about the phlegm dampness, and hoped it would also cure my allergies! :)  But you're right, it says simple obesity, which I guess doesn't include morbid obesity! haha!

Crazy what people will resort to...

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24 minutes ago, Res Ipsa said:

Package:1 Pcs = 1Lot

Features:100% Brand New  
Color:white
Size: L*W:8*8 CM
Ingredient:
semen cassiae torae
Poria cocos
Maythorn
Immature Bitter Orange
Scutellaria baicalensis
Alisma orientalis
Angelica sinensis
Active substances of plant extract
 

Well, I'm glad it's "100% Brand New." We wouldn't want any used snake oil! 

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16 minutes ago, Cardamom77 said:

Well, I'm glad it's "100% Brand New." We wouldn't want any used snake oil! 

LOL!  So true!!!  Sure you don't want to postpone your surgery too?  This sounds pretty awesome! :rolleyes:

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42 minutes ago, Res Ipsa said:

Usage:
1. Tear the bags, pick up the sliming patch.
2. Paste the sliming patch on the navel, and then fixed with adhesive.
3. One piece every day, a sustainable external application for 12-24 hours and generally a course of one month. For even better results, try a two-month course.

I will defer to @Jen581791,who teaches English, but my understanding of the English language is that by this product referring to itself as a "sliming patch" its goal must be to "slime" the person rather than to "slim" the person (since a patch that is supposed to slim would be a "slimming patch" (two m's)). :D

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HAHAHAHA! @Res Ipsa that is too funny!  Ok the surgery is BACK on....I refuse to get a patch to slime me all up!!!! :lol:

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@CJireh But it's a BRAND NEW sliming patch, so it's fine. Haha! 

Edited by Cardamom77

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7 hours ago, Cardamom77 said:

Well, I'm glad it's "100% Brand New." We wouldn't want any used snake oil! 

Yeah, I don't see second hand snake oil shops taking off any time soon.... :lol:

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7 hours ago, Res Ipsa said:

I will defer to @Jen581791,who teaches English, but my understanding of the English language is that by this product referring to itself as a "sliming patch" its goal must be to "slime" the person rather than to "slim" the person (since a patch that is supposed to slim would be a "slimming patch" (two m's)). :D

Yes, the writer definitely forgot the "double the final consonant of single syllable words that terminate in a vowel/consonant pattern when adding suffixes" rule. Come on, snake oil copywriter, your high school English as a Second Language teacher would be so disappointed. 

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8 hours ago, Res Ipsa said:

Sadly, photoshopping weight off of your body only works in the virtual world.:rolleyes:

By the way, below is the unedited information on this patch works to get rid of "simple obesity" and a host of other ills....

Package:1 Pcs = 1Lot

Features:100% Brand New  
Color:white
Size: L*W:8*8 CM
Ingredient:
semen cassiae torae
Poria cocos
Maythorn
Immature Bitter Orange
Scutellaria baicalensis
Alisma orientalis
Angelica sinensis
Active substances of plant extract
 
Efficiency:
1.Get rid of phlegm dampness, constipation and simple obesity.
2.Evenly reduces and block the absorption of grease, sugar and starch.
3.Help burn the fat and detoxifying the toxicants accumulated in the body.
4.Significantly and effectively slims up the whole body.
 
Usage:
1. Tear the bags, pick up the sliming patch.
2. Paste the sliming patch on the navel, and then fixed with adhesive.
3. One piece every day, a sustainable external application for 12-24 hours and generally a course of one month. For even better results, try a two-month course.

 

 

HTB1kfs3OXXXXXXLXFXXq6xXFXXXG.jpg

I laugh-farted when I read the ingredients. :lol: Thanks for the hilarity. 

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10 hours ago, Trish1967 said:

Those things remind me of those "It Works" wraps!! Another colossal joke!! A woman down the street from me sold those things for 2 years...she used to post her ~before and after~ photos too. Except she posted them backward...her before pics were her current pics and her after pics were from 10 years ago...before she got really heavy! She must have gained 30+ pounds while trying to schlep those things around trying to sell them. 

I've gotta tell you though, your title scared me a bit!! I agree with @NerdyLady...go to your room, young lady!! HA! :lol:

@Trish1967 My folks watch an hour of the Spanish language evening news and La Faja Fantástica (the fantastic girdle) was always advertised as a miracle fat burner. You put the girdle on and sweat all day. By the end of a few weeks, all your fat disappears!! We would always make fun of La Faja. 

 

Edited by NerdyLady

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8 hours ago, CJireh said:

@Res Ipsa, I did read that and laughed about the phlegm dampness, and hoped it would also cure my allergies! :)  But you're right, it says simple obesity, which I guess doesn't include morbid obesity! haha!

Crazy what people will resort to...

@CJireh Had I known about this patch, I could have saved 10K. Sigh... :lol:

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We should start a thread where people can post all the weird crazy things hawked for weight loss.

Along the same lines - Do you remember the devices that you could attach to your belly (or arm or leg or whatever) that would produce a little shock and your underlying muscle would contact? It was supposed to tone you up and help you lose weight too. My Dad got one in the late 60s or 70s but after a few weeks of electrical shocks, it got tossed. :rolleyes: I remember being fascinated with the idea that this gizmo could help buff up my scrawny yet fat arms into the rippling rocks that my adolescent brain idolized. 

 

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@BurgundyBoy that's a great idea. Next time someone finds a crock of a weight loss product, they can start the thread!  That'd give us all a laugh....and a focus on how desperate ppl are to lose weight, so "cutting your stomach out to have proven weightloss" suddenly doesn't sound so crazy!!!

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STOP THE PRESS!

I thought I had tried every diet known to man (and invented a few on the way), but this is new to me ..... maybe I could get a group discount?

 

lard be gone.JPG

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