LadyFl

How has weight loss surgery affected your marriage?

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I been with the same man for 17 years. Anyone who been with anybody long-term  understands healthy relationships evolve.  

My husband and I have more converstations about exercise, food choices and our children's health.  We sometimes compete. We argue when I don't eat.  Exercising is an important part of our partnership.  Being we are both sleeved, after two years,  it has giving us a special kind of bond.   

The hardest part? Well because of our competitive nature's sometimes intentionally and/or unintentionally sabotaging eachother. We need to work on that issue! However, due to our sleeves we are both around to laugh about it.  :lol:

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My hubby has been my rock.  We've been married 34 years (pretty good since we only knew each other 6 weeks when we got married).  My husband has been there through thick and thin.  Says he never saw me as fat, lol!  He's never commented on what I eat, even now.  Although we do keep a sense of humor and crack jokes about not having the guts for something or my eyes are literally bigger than my belly;). Recently I was going through a period where nothing sounded good and he asked if I was getting my protein in.  He's always loved his veggies -me; not so much.. I still cook his casseroles but take my meat out before combining everything.

he is an avid scuba diver (instructor). I always said if I got healthy I would battle my fear of water and learn (my health problems prevented me).  When I was a year post op he started bugging me-I finally gave in and he checked one thing at a time off as I did the requirements (counted down minutes while I floated, counted down laps in the pool).  What is a weekend class took me 10 months.  Going under water in the ocean he stayed with me while I clung to an algae covered bouy saying I couldn't.  The first couple of diving trips he held my hand but now he watches while I go check out the reefs.  If I hadn't gotten healthy we never would have found we both enjoy diving (I'm strictly warm water-he dives year around ; cutting a hole in the ice and jumping in).  

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I have been married for over 30 years and my weight loss did not hurt my marriage at all.  My wife has been very supportive of my surgery and of my new diet.

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Married for almost 33 years. My husband has been my #1 supporter through my journey. I never could of done it without him. Our marriage has always been a strong one, but now it is renewed with hope and so much joy. 

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I will chime in too. Married 11 years now and my husband has always been my biggest cheerleader. He has told me he thinks I'm too skinny to be honest, but supports what I need for me. He has been through a lot of medical issues with me since RNY and I also couldn't have done it without him by my side. 

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I've been married for 36 years~most of them overweight. My marriage is better than it's ever been. I did go through 3 years of therapy leading up to wls and I think it's helped immensely. 

Hes my biggest support system and I'm so glad! 

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WLS was in some ways a decision we made together. We went to couples counseling prior to my surgery to help us navigate the process and preemptively address some of the things that are known pitfalls. Obesity can be such an emotionally charged topic so having someone help us talk openly and honestly about it was very helpful.

My husband's unwavering support during this process has not only helped me reach my goals but also endeared him to me even more. Although I do not believe it's the primary reason we're the happiest and most solid we've ever been, I know for sure that my weight loss has been positive for our relationship.

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When I first started researching surgery, I got really self centered and we went through a rough patch. Mainly because he was very scared of the changes required and rough enough we sought out couples counseling. It wasn't great help, but enough to get us talking constructively.

Now, we are better than ever. He has been amazing support and realized he went so far to the negative outcomes he skipped over the positive impact to our life. I'm healthier than ever and we are enjoying life.

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I'm not sure if it is related to surgery, maybe it is? But I am divorced. I am really glad to see that so many people have such amazing relationships and supportive spouses. My ex was very supportive of my process to get insurance approval and my surgery. 

I think when I had the courage to take care of myself and be true to who I was in such a big way it might have given him the courage to be his true self as well. He is a gender fluid/trans person and I'm not a lesbian so we got a divorce. 

This surgery definitely has changed me in a big way, I don't even remember what I was like before. 

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Married 19 years in March (much like you, Cheesehead, we got married after dating for two months, so I'll take the success). We had a lot of problems because we married young and didn't really know each other, but we were stubborn and determined to make it work. WLS hasn't caused an issue and he is my biggest supporter. I'm so glad I've had him with me through all of this and we've talked about where I'm at through this entire journey and it's helped a lot.

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Wife and I have been married 20 yrs and we have both be over weight most of our lives. I am pre-op 15 days, but the subject of me losing a lot weight has come up. She told me likes bigger guys and has grown to love me the way I am. She is having a hard time visualising me being smaller or even skinny (dare I say). I think it will all be good and make our love stronger, but is there anyone here who lost a relationship over losing weight?

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My husband and I have been together since we were 19...and married for 15 years. He has always been my best friend and he my best friend. His celeb crushes have always been chubby brunettes and I bet they always will be, so I know he has a type and I don't fit that anymore...but there is so much more to our relationship than the way either of us look. He enjoys my competitive nature and supports me in my athletic pursuits. It took him a while to get comfortable with me not being able to eat large meals (I just have leftovers...great for me!), but otherwise, not much has changed. 

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2 hours ago, createchange said:

My husband and I have been together since we were 19...and married for 15 years. He has always been my best friend and he my best friend. His celeb crushes have always been chubby brunettes and I bet they always will be, so I know he has a type and I don't fit that anymore...but there is so much more to our relationship than the way either of us look. He enjoys my competitive nature and supports me in my athletic pursuits. It took him a while to get comfortable with me not being able to eat large meals (I just have leftovers...great for me!), but otherwise, not much has changed. 

That's good to hear. My wife and I have been togeather since she was 16 (married at 18) and we really have a great  marriage. I only see it getting better for us, but a large weight loss for either of us is all new territory. It's really more than I can imagine right now. I'm not even sure how I'll react to seening myself in that state let alone her and my kids, family, co-workers, etc.  It's all seems  surreal. 

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Today is my husband and my 15 year anniversary. He's been there for thick and thin, though 3 kids, and cross country moves. He's supportive, and there for me. He doesn't bat an eye when I spend too much on clothes, but laughs at me for it. He can now literally pick me up and he thinks that's just great. But we went through 4 years of unemployment and I say if you can deal with your spouse, for 4 years, 24 hours a day and things are still good, you can get through anything. I got pregnant with our son the very first day I met him, and we've been together since. 

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On 3/3/2017 at 4:32 PM, Zyia said:

Today is my husband and my 15 year anniversary. He's been there for thick and thin, though 3 kids, and cross country moves. He's supportive, and there for me. He doesn't bat an eye when I spend too much on clothes, but laughs at me for it. He can now literally pick me up and he thinks that's just great. But we went through 4 years of unemployment and I say if you can deal with your spouse, for 4 years, 24 hours a day and things are still good, you can get through anything. I got pregnant with our son the very first day I met him, and we've been together since. 

Yeah, my husband can now "pick me up" too! For me, I am still getting use this ability.  My husband is 6'5" and I am 5"6'. This is the first time in 17 years anyone could easily lift me.  Wow! Happy Anniversary! :D

Edited by LadyFl

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On 2/28/2017 at 5:41 PM, DoneW/300s said:

That's good to hear. My wife and I have been togeather since she was 16 (married at 18) and we really have a great  marriage. I only see it getting better for us, but a large weight loss for either of us is all new territory. It's really more than I can imagine right now. I'm not even sure how I'll react to seening myself in that state let alone her and my kids, family, co-workers, etc.  It's all seems  surreal. 

Your kids, family and co workers will probably see the weight loss before you do;). I still have my days of seeing and thinking I'm still big.  I'm going through that at the moment..

it still boils down to I'm still me, big or thin.  I really haven't changed.  My personality is still there.  Most people don't just do a complete personality change because they lose weight.  My adult kids were talking a while ago and they can't remember me being big.  And I was big their entire lives:)  

Good luck DW!  

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On ‎2‎/‎28‎/‎2017 at 6:41 PM, DoneW/300s said:

That's good to hear. My wife and I have been togeather since she was 16 (married at 18) and we really have a great  marriage. I only see it getting better for us, but a large weight loss for either of us is all new territory. It's really more than I can imagine right now. I'm not even sure how I'll react to seening myself in that state let alone her and my kids, family, co-workers, etc.  It's all seems  surreal. 

Surreal is a good word for life after you lose all of your excess weight.  It is surreal to get on an airplane and easily fit in the seat, even a middle seat.  It is surreal to walk into a room of strangers and not have people judge you as the fat guy.  It is surreal to be able to buy clothes at any store and have them look great on you.  It is surreal to feel healthy and just more alive.  It is surreal not to sweat much, if at all.  It is surreal to be able to walk long distances without losing your breath.  It is surreal to be able to sit in any chair that you want in a room and not worry that it might break.  And finally, it is surreal to realize that your days of being unhealthy and at a high risk of an early death are over.

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