Raeme

Anybody talked to WendyH?

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I know it's a really busy time of year and she has little ones but I haven't seen her on in a while. Has anyone heard from her? 

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I have seen her posting on Facebook, but not on here. She seems to be ok. I should send her a message. 

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8 hours ago, GAviv said:

I have seen her posting on Facebook, but not on here. She seems to be ok. I should send her a message. 

I sent one on here a few weeks ago checking on her but she hasn't responded.  Good to know she's just busy elsewhere!!  I miss seeing her posts. They're very insightful!  

Edited by Raeme

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A few of you have reached out to me, and I appreciate it, and also that Raeme started this thread (thanks Greer for letting me know). Here’s what’s going on, along with some back story here and there that provides some insight into what makes me tick. Apologies for not responding to your PM. I saw it pass through my email then forgot about it.

I had a nice holiday season, connecting in real life with the people around me. Historically I get uber-grumpy around the holidays. My parents are divorced, and when I was a kid, every holiday season was contentious about custody and who got my sister and me and when, and the badmouthing of the other parent by various family members. Plus by nature I’m not a shopper, and I have an inborn frugality and practicality that hinders me from wanting to give or receive token gifts. Add to that being a non-spiritual person who grew up in the bible belt, and I ended up with some pretty hefty holiday baggage. But this year, this year I did great. Financially it was a big Christmas, because I bought several large, useful gifts. I also got to enjoy time with family, including going to a reception following and out-of-state wedding and meeting my sister-in-law’s new boyfriend, who seems like a really nice guy. My husband says I win the prize for “most improved Christmas.”

Then after Christmas I organized some things around my house (finally!). When my 10 year old was five, I tried having him share his room with his baby brother and sister. He refused and started sleeping on the downstairs couch. After trying for a few weeks to coax him back to his room, I put his bed down there instead, shifting furniture into places that it didn’t really belong/fit. Fast forward five years, and he has been crashing in his sisters’ room while they’ve been at school. When they came back for semester break, they wanted their room back, and he didn’t want to go back downstairs. I pitched the idea of his younger siblings and him of doing a trial run of sharing their room/his old room. They were skeptical, but it worked so well that we made the move permanent, causing a domino effect of rearranging furniture. After five years, my nomad son has a bedroom again, including his own chest of drawers, which I bought to fit the space. Four kids now share our smallest bedroom (10’8” x 10’2” with a 2.5’ x 3.5’ cutout for the stairwell below). It is efficiently laid out and works well. The downstairs living space (aka "the kid pit") is living/play space again, and the upstairs living space isn’t crowded by a love seat that doesn’t really fit anywhere. In the process I did some organizing and purging, which needs to continue in my bedroom.

So all in all, home is good. My work situation is a little weird, though. Many of you are aware that I had some difficulties at my last company when there was a manager shuffle at the level above me, and I ended up in a reporting relationship that was unsuitable through no fault of either of ours. We just didn’t belong together. It was one of those shakeups that shakes some people loose, and I found myself needing to secure employment quickly. I took a position that aligned well with my experience. Then 1.5 months later my manager abruptly left, at which time her replacement was announced. He started 1.5 months later, and then yesterday a colleague and I were laid off, and a third person was moved to a different team.

I’m not surprised by the move, and actually not even upset by it. Even though I’ve been there only six months, I have some severance, subsidized COBRA, and outplacement services. Since my last job upset, I’ve been struggling with “is this really what I wanted to be when I grew up,” and a few weeks ago I registered for a couple of classes at the local community college. I have a BBA in marketing, a masters degree in market research, over 20 years experience in data analytics and market research, and 16 years in the pharmaceuticals an hospital product industries, and I’m taking classes that will qualify me to apply to an associate-level RN degree program. No, it’s not an ideal degree to transition to a clinical role, but it’s what’s possible given my life constraints. The way I look at it, even if I can’t leverage it directly and even if I don’t choose to complete the program, the classes I take will enrich me and provide new perspectives.

It’s kind of a weird transitionary period for my husband too. He’s worked for himself most of our marriage, sometimes scaling up, sometimes scaling back. He’s been very busy the past 10 months working in Indiana. He recently joined the company he’s been contracting with, and his role is changing from completing projects to securing business and managing projects. Over the next few years while I’m taking classes, he could find himself building up his work situation to the point where we might be able to switch household roles a bit. Right now we just keep moving forward and see what happens.

As for my weight, it’s up right now, and I’m not eating properly. Now that it’s the new year, I’ll reach out to the therapist who told me that’s when he might be able to take on a new patient. The irony is that I don’t really think the stuff I have going on is driving the poor eating choices (contributing, but not driving). More likely the main culprit is being caught in an addictive cycle that needs breaking (again).

But speaking of therapy, another development in my life is that my 10 year old son started a new therapy program. We knew he had motor planning disorders (dysgraphia and dyspraxia). What has become evident through the occupational therapy services he receives at school is that he has sensory integration issues as well (always evident, but never called out as a concern). This week he started an equestrian therapy OT program, and next month he will start PT at the barn. As it was described to me, if we can regulate his sensory inputs, it should help him better plan his motor outputs, and apparently therapeutic riding can be immensely helpful in doing this. He’s just getting started, but I anticipate being in it for the long haul.

Anyway, I guess the bottom line is that I have a lot going on right now, and as much as I like hanging out here with my friends, I find that when I’m on TT I tend to be here for everybody else. You guys are engaging, I like you, and I derive satisfaction from sharing my perspectives. Unfortunately, that means I can spend a lot of time here taking care of everybody but myself. On the other hand, I am active on Facebook in a more superficial manner that allows me to be digitally connected without being deeply involved. For those of you who haven’t seen me mention it before, the “H” is for Harmon

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It's good to know you are well. Take care of yourself!!

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Take care of yourself Wendy. We are here to support you if you want support. Your weight loss journey, and your wisdom on weight loss surgery, are an inspiration to us all. 

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Hugs, Wendy! You know where to find me (us) when you are ready! Good luck with everything! Xoxo

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It's good to see you posting Wendy - you've been sorely missed.  From what you've written, I'm not surprised that you've had to take a hiatus from the forum.

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Good to hear from you Wendy! Glad you are doing well despite all the changes, etc going on in your life. 

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So glad to hear you're doing well!! Thanks for taking time to give an update. 

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Glad to see the updates! 

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Take care Wendy.  You certainly do have a lot going on! 

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