Jump to content

Confession about "new life."


la.craig
 Share

Recommended Posts

I'm 11 months out exactly today.  I've realize that I regret having surgery and losing weight.  I didn't enjoy being obese but I was used to it and I was comfortable being a fat, gluttonous slob.  I woke everyday focused on getting that Popeyes Chicken and Biscuits family pack.  Take it home, watch a movie on my laptop while shoveling down what I could. I remember being wonderfully high with zero anxieties after I ate.   My goal for the day had been reached.  It was like this for years.  And I miss it.  I don't crave the food anymore but god I miss having something to look forward to.  Sure, I'm 145 pounds down and look much better but I'm still invisible to the opposite sex.  My commitment to eating right prevents me going back to my old habits so I don't even consider doing it, but it's depressing to think about that that life is gone now.  I guess I was kidding myself when I thought being thin was going to change a lot of things.  It hasn't changed hardly anything. I'm still the same ole' me and back then I at least had food which provided me excellent comfort and now I have nothing.  I shouldn't have gone through with it.  I should've abandoned this stupid idea years ago. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hang in there la.craig. It takes a while for invisibility to fade. Unfortunately losing weight in itself isn't always what is needed either. A good dose of self confidence is also often required. I imagine that it's more important for males to be prepared to put yourself out there into the marketplace, and that's a tough ask for most people that have either avoided it or been continuously rejected by it in the past. I was single when I had my surgery over 30 years ago. The hardest part of having had the surgery for me was by far the psychological adjustments I had to make regarding becoming a more social being. In all honesty it eventually broke me down. I ended up  having to consult a psychiatrist for a time simply to make the mind adjustments I needed to survive the often quite brutal dating game. I'd never had to navigate that world before. Eventually I did form a lifetime partnership and now have two adult children. I had a minefield to cross first though, and I have to say WLS wasn't the magic wand. As with weightloss in general, it was merely a tool that helped me to become a more attractive proposition to a potential partner, I still had to work my way through all the other attributes that make someone sit up and take notice, and I had to learn many lessons the hard way with respect to people who were users and abusers rather than dating for the right reasons. By far the hardest part though was putting it all on the line and letting people know I was on the market so to speak, even though time and time again, being rejected was a distinct possibility.

You're still early in your journey, give yourself a break and take the time you need to feel comfortable in yourself and to build the resilience that this new part of your life will need for survival. That incidentally will also make you a more attractive prospect to potential partners.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Reading your post made me sad for you. I can hear the loss and sadness in your words. Have you considered talking to a counselor?  I had a friend, who was also a psychologist, tell me one time that grief is grief no matter what the object of the grief is. The object of the grief influences the degree of grief but grief is grief. The loss of a job, a spouse, a pet, a friend, a dream, a lifestyle, etc- all those things result in a grieving process of different intensities. I hope you can push through this and not continue to regret having the surgery. Hopefully you can fill your life with new, healthy, productive things that can make you feel the way food did.  Take care. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your a very handsome guy, trust me my single friends would love to meet you but alas your far away.  Get out there and join something there are plenty of single ladies that would enjoy your company.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/7/2016 at 10:31 AM, spumoni said:

Your a very handsome guy, trust me my single friends would love to meet you but alas your far away.  Get out there and join something there are plenty of single ladies that would enjoy your company.

Thanks Spumoni.  I'm actually thinking about leaving Louisiana.  The university I live next door to doesn't offer the undergraduate program I want and I'm looking for a white girlfriend but they're very hard to find.   It's all black where I live so there's no competition for the very few white women that are here resulting in them having a very inflated sense of self-worth and seemingly only go for the spoiled rich boys.  It's a numbers thing.  In short, I want to move. lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think one thing that's very hard to realize for many fat or formerly fat people is that losing weight does not fix a life. It's easy to blame our sorrows, lonelinesses, &c. on the fact that we're fat, and weight loss can shed light on the fact that there are personal issues we've been shunting onto fatness. So when we lose weight, and our feelings persist, we can have a really hard time managing that distress. I'm sorry you're encountering that.

Real talk here, Craig. Your fixation on an attractive white partner, and on removing yourself from an environment you think is "too black," is a big fat out-of-the-gate red flag. I've seen it in a number of your posts, and it's an immediate dealbreaker for me as I would imagine it would also be for plenty of other women—not all, of course, but many. Similarly, the sense of critique of what women "should" want or feel entitled to vs. what you think they do, this viewing of women and dating as a sexual marketplace with fixed value. That PUA/red pill mentality is a big red flag for MANY a woman that the person who has it does not value her as an individual, and it also tends to come with bitterness, dishonesty, a sense of entitlement to women's time and attention, and other things that are not so attractive. There's more to attracting a meaningful partnership than being thin. The time also comes when we need to think seriously about who we are and what we put out into the world and believe about the way it works—all of that is part of becoming the kind of person who will add meaningfully to someone else's life. 

What I mean to say is, it's time to start thinking about who you are as a person and a potential partner in a way that is not about whether you are fat, or kinda fat, or regular-dude sized, or Adonis-bodied. It's time to start thinking about yourself as a person, and about who you are and what you might add to the life of another person who might choose to spend her time with you. That means not just understanding personal strengths you may have ignored because of the self-loathing and stigma of fatness, but also an honest confrontation with the weaknesses for which fatness can provide cover, at least in our own minds. Yes, size stigma is very real, but at some point both in a weight loss process and a relationship process, the issues of personhood take over. What kind of company do you want in the world? What kind of woman makes you happier, not just because of the success she represents to you but because of the pleasure of spending time with her? What kind of company are you to other people, including to women? What kind of person do you want to be so that you are appealing to the women to whom you want to be appealing, and how do you become that guy?

Edited by nimiety
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have you thought about what you want to do to replace eating? It doesn't sound like you have anything to replace it with. 

It sounds like you think dating and a relationship might replace it but I think that's a slippery slope. Find something you enjoy for you, find ways to deal with your emotions and anxieties that aren't food related.

I know it's hard and maybe you are still in the grieving stage. The first year is difficult, just hang in there. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/11/2016 at 11:03 AM, nimiety said:

I think one thing that's very hard to realize for many fat or formerly fat people is that losing weight does not fix a life. It's easy to blame our sorrows, lonelinesses, &c. on the fact that we're fat, and weight loss can shed light on the fact that there are personal issues we've been shunting onto fatness. So when we lose weight, and our feelings persist, we can have a really hard time managing that distress. I'm sorry you're encountering that.

Real talk here, Craig. Your fixation on an attractive white partner, and on removing yourself from an environment you think is "too black," is a big fat out-of-the-gate red flag. I've seen it in a number of your posts, and it's an immediate dealbreaker for me as I would imagine it would also be for plenty of other women—not all, of course, but many. Similarly, the sense of critique of what women "should" want or feel entitled to vs. what you think they do, this viewing of women and dating as a sexual marketplace with fixed value. That PUA/red pill mentality is a big red flag for MANY a woman that the person who has it does not value her as an individual, and it also tends to come with bitterness, dishonesty, a sense of entitlement to women's time and attention, and other things that are not so attractive. There's more to attracting a meaningful partnership than being thin. The time also comes when we need to think seriously about who we are and what we put out into the world and believe about the way it works—all of that is part of becoming the kind of person who will add meaningfully to someone else's life. 

What I mean to say is, it's time to start thinking about who you are as a person and a potential partner in a way that is not about whether you are fat, or kinda fat, or regular-dude sized, or Adonis-bodied. It's time to start thinking about yourself as a person, and about who you are and what you might add to the life of another person who might choose to spend her time with you. That means not just understanding personal strengths you may have ignored because of the self-loathing and stigma of fatness, but also an honest confrontation with the weaknesses for which fatness can provide cover, at least in our own minds. Yes, size stigma is very real, but at some point both in a weight loss process and a relationship process, the issues of personhood take over. What kind of company do you want in the world? What kind of woman makes you happier, not just because of the success she represents to you but because of the pleasure of spending time with her? What kind of company are you to other people, including to women? What kind of person do you want to be so that you are appealing to the women to whom you want to be appealing, and how do you become that guy?

You're interpreting my emphasis on physical attraction as someone who is un-reflective but rest assured, the opposite is true. I know what kind of life I want.  

Different people have different values. 

If your values are different than mine that that's okay. For example, it's a deal breaker for me for a girl who can't understand why being the racial minority makes me want to relocate and who can't understand that being physically fit has significant value. Why do you think it's wrong for me (as a white man) to want an attractive, white woman? Take two women both with the same exact qualities except one is prettier than the other and I take the pretty one. - That raises a red flag? Why not have my sugar-free cake and eat it too?  I certainly prioritize physical attraction but it's not exclusitory. Again, this comes down to preferences, each quality with their own weighted value. I wouldn't marry a very attractive girl if she was unpleasant to be around all the time.  Sure, I'd nail her as many times I could but I wouldn't consider her as a long-term mate.  I would look for another attractive, white woman who isn't mean. 

I don't take red pills.  That philosophy is based on the premise that all women are born with the spoiled princess syndrome and are only out to use men.  

As far as me adding to someone else's life, I am what I am. They have to decide for themselves if that's what they want. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/11/2016 at 11:43 AM, lightenupwoman said:

Have you thought about what you want to do to replace eating? It doesn't sound like you have anything to replace it with. 

It sounds like you think dating and a relationship might replace it but I think that's a slippery slope. Find something you enjoy for you, find ways to deal with your emotions and anxieties that aren't food related.

I know it's hard and maybe you are still in the grieving stage. The first year is difficult, just hang in there. 

The problem is that I struggle with depression so there's nothing that I want to do.  Indeed, a relationship is a slippery slope but I've been alone for a long time I'm not ruling it out as a possible way to improve my mood and quality of life.  Truth is, I won't know for sure until I get into a relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like depression to me. You were medicating with food. Go see your dr and find a therapist. I had to mourn the loss of my relationship with food and find other things to replace it. Eating for me was a high. I had to find those highs elsewhere. You can do it. Call your dr and tell them exactly what you have told us. 

 

You will find the partner you are looking for at some point. Focus on yourself now and you will find love when you are ready.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been divorced for most of the 14 months post surgery, and I feel your pain on a deep and spiritual level. Nothing has changed for me except my clothes are much baggier. I find that I go home, watch a few TV shows, and go to bed...insanely early in the winter. The rent house I'm in offers nowhere to start a walk from/jog from...no nearby parks for winter use....so I sit in solitude. Even my beloved strawberries and Ambrosia apples have left me for the season. 

Cheer up and take heart. You're a cute young man and you will absolutely find your heart out there! You don't like where you live...move...but remember, it's only a geographical move...you take you with you...and all the luggage inside. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, la.craig said:

I wouldn't marry a very attractive girl if she was unpleasant to be around all the time.  Sure, I'd nail her as many times I could but I wouldn't consider her as a long-term mate.  I would look for another attractive, white woman who isn't mean. 

I don't take red pills.  That philosophy is based on the premise that all women are born with the spoiled princess syndrome and are only out to use men. 

..and herein lies your problem. Can you really not see the hypocrisy.

 

Edited by Aussie H
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Aussie H said:

..and herein lies your problem. Can you really not see the hypocrisy.

 

No, because I'm honest.  And if she asked me why then I'd tell her why. Two adults can still have sex to satisfy themselves knowing that no effort will be going into cultivating a long-term romantic  relationship.

Red Pill followers buy into the idea that women are naturally deceptive and choose to marry and have kids with men to "lock" them into a life of servitude while getting nothing in return.  

You made the assumption that I would be lying to her to get laid. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, la.craig said:

You're interpreting my emphasis on physical attraction as someone who is un-reflective but rest assured, the opposite is true. I know what kind of life I want.  

Different people have different values. 

If your values are different than mine that that's okay. For example, it's a deal breaker for me for a girl who can't understand why being the racial minority makes me want to relocate and who can't understand that being physically fit has significant value. Why do you think it's wrong for me (as a white man) to want an attractive, white woman? Take two women both with the same exact qualities except one is prettier than the other and I take the pretty one. - That raises a red flag? Why not have my sugar-free cake and eat it too?  I certainly prioritize physical attraction but it's not exclusitory. Again, this comes down to preferences, each quality with their own weighted value. I wouldn't marry a very attractive girl if she was unpleasant to be around all the time.  Sure, I'd nail her as many times I could but I wouldn't consider her as a long-term mate.  I would look for another attractive, white woman who isn't mean. 

I don't take red pills.  That philosophy is based on the premise that all women are born with the spoiled princess syndrome and are only out to use men.  

As far as me adding to someone else's life, I am what I am. They have to decide for themselves if that's what they want. 

You're doing a lot of projecting about what I think of you and what I think you think, and I don't think it's worth going into, seeing as how you've resisted these ideas in other threads. Clearly our values are very different, and among other serious disagreements I tend to think that your approach to dating and women is not one that's going to be as successful as you'd like, but the point I'm trying to make just at present is really about the destructiveness of expecting weight loss to fix our lives. I'm really sorry you're experiencing the loss of a coping mechanism and a source of pleasure—I know the feeling, as I think many on this board do, of the void that eating that fills an emotional role can leave when it goes, as it does when we have surgery. I think the most important thing is to find the things that sustain us that aren't food—to treat ourselves as whole people, and to think about where pleasure and absorption come from (or any of the things that food can be and do) in our lives and find non-food sources of them. That those things may tend to bring you into contact with women with whom you share interests is a good side benefit. 

Edited by nimiety
Link to comment
Share on other sites

36 minutes ago, nimiety said:

You're doing a lot of projecting about what I think of you and what I think you think, and I don't think it's worth going into, seeing as how you've resisted these ideas in other threads. Clearly our values are different, and I tend to think that your approach to dating and women is not one that's going to be as successful as you'd like, but the point I'm trying to make just at present is really about the destructiveness of expecting weight loss to fix our lives. I'm really sorry you're experiencing the loss of a coping mechanism and a source of pleasure—I know the feeling, as I think many on this board do, of the void that eating that fills an emotional role can leave when it goes, as it does when we have surgery. I think the most important thing is to find the things that sustain us that aren't food—to treat ourselves as whole people, and to think about where pleasure and absorption come from (or any of the things that food can be and do) in our lives and find non-food sources of them. That those things may tend to bring you into contact with women with whom you share interests is a good side benefit. 


It's obvious that you and I have a different set of values. You even admit that because I don't share your values that I'm inclined to fail. So, yes, I am resisting you because you instead of answering rational questions, you choose instead to become elusive and employ defensive tactics, like accusing me of projection.  And I resist those who imply that I'm not going to be successful because I want an attractive, white woman.  Maybe that's because there's women on this forum that don't like hearing a man say he's not attracted to big women? I don't know.  

I agree that we need to find things that give us happiness.  The reason for my original post was to basically complain that there wasn't anything there to take foods place but you said yourself finding a romantic partner that shares the same interests could be beneficial. I agree with you, however, there are obstacles like the demographics here which make it very hard for me to find type of person I want to date. But I guess I can't say that because it sends red flags up as me being some kind of insensitive jerk. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, thornbury150 said:

I've been divorced for most of the 14 months post surgery, and I feel your pain on a deep and spiritual level. Nothing has changed for me except my clothes are much baggier. I find that I go home, watch a few TV shows, and go to bed...insanely early in the winter. The rent house I'm in offers nowhere to start a walk from/jog from...no nearby parks for winter use....so I sit in solitude. Even my beloved strawberries and Ambrosia apples have left me for the season. 

Cheer up and take heart. You're a cute young man and you will absolutely find your heart out there! You don't like where you live...move...but remember, it's only a geographical move...you take you with you...and all the luggage inside. 

I'm sorry your divorced.  I've experienced that myself and it is indeed very painful.  You coping with that right after having a bypass is probably really hard because of comforts like food and not even having a place to walk or things to do.  Yeah, your situation sounds like mine and I agree with you about carrying baggage around. Very true.  I hope you and I will both have it easier next year. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, I know you're going through a lot emotionally post-weight loss, but when I read your post, I felt inclined to respond. I've never once in my life limited my search for a mate in terms of skin color. After all, one's external skin color gives no indication as to character, personality, or anything beyond the superficial. I've always thought to myself: "I want a mate with a kind, generous, and patient heart. And it wouldn't hurt if he was easy on the eyes, sure."  It's truly a shame that your 'values' limit you from being able to see the internal and external beauty of women of all shades. You've effectively eliminated roughly 50 million women (since the US census indicates roughly 100 million minorities live in the nation; half of whom I presume are women) based upon what?  And I'm sorry if I have no sympathy for your difficulties in being a minority. Waa Waa.  It's a life millions experience and successfully navigate. Being a minority CAN be a gift and provide deeper insight, appreciation, and sensitivity to people different than ourselves. But that's a CHOICE one has to make.

Finally, I find your comments about 'nailing' a woman you believe unworthy of you as immature and stunted.

To each his own. It sounds, however, like there are a host of issues beneath your post. Hope you find the peace you seek.

Edited by Kimchan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Craig, even though I don't share your ideals I am glad you can share with us. This is not a "pc" forum but one that has tolorence for everyone and all their struggles. I agree that you would benefit greatly with some therapy. You don't want to live in regret and depression. There's too much to enjoy in life! It might be best to put the move on hold until you are in a better place and really know what you want, are happier and have that inner strength you need to push forward. Best of luck~keep us informed of how you're getting along. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, it's really not ok. Depression or no. If the shoe were on the other foot and I brazenly posted something saying I was tired of living around white people, how ludicrous and insulting would that be? People need to think before they post. This is a support group for weight loss, not a  replacement for individualized therapy for deep seated issues. These comments, left unchallenged, are a hot mess.

Edited by Kimchan
Typo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I appreciate your honesty. In that same regard I would submit that when it comes to attracting the opposite sex, I don't think your weight is the issue. I know you want it to be about the reasons you noted...but it's not....it's you. Trust me when I tell you that if you had a different attitude your options would probably open up.

At the risk of generalizing, I think that many men are hard wired to be visual creatures. I accept that and don't begrudge you for it. I know lots of guys who ended up in relationships with women disproportionately better looking than they are. So what do they have in common? 1) They're confident without conceit. 2) Self deprecating without self loathing 3) They have a really good sense of humor. It may not have been your intention but you seem defensive, angry, and to a lesser extent resentful of women. Smart chicks, hot or otherwise, don't typically dig that.

I agree with many of the things you're saying. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with consenting adults getting together just for sex as long as there's no deceit involved. My agreement with you stops at the part about white women. I'm not going to go in to all the reasons why that bugs me but just a tip; you may want to leave that part out when you're trying to score with someone.

So to get to the crux of your original post....

Food was your only pleasure and now that's gone. Food was a pretty powerful coping mechanism for a lot of us which is why we're encouraged to spend the honeymoon period trying to get to the bottom of why we became obese in the first place, ideally, in a professional setting. It sounds like you've improved your health but not necessarily the quality of your life. Unfortunately, what you're struggling with cannot be fixed with surgery. I'd strongly recommend that you get in to therapy if you're not already.

Edited by Jabsie
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Different people value different things.  What some of you and I value are never going to be the same. These pitiful comments of me reflect the PC culture endorsed by some of you, which is just as big as a turn-off.  If you don't want to date me (or someone like me) because of it, fine. The feeling is mutual. 

I posted these comments in "Socialize" because this description allows for conversations unrelated to weight loss. 

Men don't have a monopoly on visuals.  I'm convinced there are just as many women who disqualify men based on their looks and vice versa. If I seem defensive and angry, it's not because of women - it's because there is a climate of condescension among some users who attack me because they disagree with my standards that I've set for myself and I think that's interesting because some members would never consider relationships with certain males because of their race, their income, their job, their appearance, etc.. but I'm expected to consider all women?  Has anybody observed me criticizing women that refuse to engage a man because he doesn't make over $100,000 dollars a year or because he's not at least 6 feet tall? No, you haven't and you won't. Why? Because I respect her standards. I should be extended the same courtesy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Seriously, do you really not see how defensive you sound? You got a lot of good advice on this string. If you don't want to take it, fine. You seem interested only in validation and intolerant of any criticism even when it's dead on....so I'm out.

Edited by Jabsie
Link to comment
Share on other sites

While I understand being attracted to a certain type I think the wording of this is pretty callous considering there are many beloved members of this forum that could be hurt by this.  While we are not PC I certainly hope we care about each other enough to try not to hurt each others feelings, we are all already sensitive about our weight issues we don't need to be put down even more regarding our skin color.  If a black guy said he wanted to  move away there were too many white women and prefers black women honestly it would hurt my feelings, like Kim said we are all the same people our skin hasn't a damn thing to do with who we are and what is important about us.  I understand being physically attracted to a "type" but you never know you could be missing out on somebody wonderful and a sole mate because you are limiting your options.

When my daughter was about 5 our neighbors were black and her little friend was black, one day she innocently asked me if she was different I sternly told her if she gets cut she bleeds like you, if she doesn't eat she feels hunger like you, if she is sad she cries like you.  Sorry I will get off my soap box I am feeling extra sensitive there was some racist lady on facebook in Kentucky in a jcp store and it went viral and I am still so upset about how she spoke to two latina women and not one person came to their defense.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, jumping in with my two cents: I think that, while Craig maybe didn't word it the best way, I get what he's saying. I'm mixed (half black, half white), but I've never been attracted to black men. My type is tall, European descent, above average looks, and I'm a sucker for blue eyes. I also really like smart, well read, funny, nice guys, but to be blunt, if I'm not physically attracted to someone, the whole dating thing isn't likely to happen. Is that racist or superficial of me? I don't think so. It's just who catches my eye and I can't help that I'm not attracted to Black (or Asian or Middle Eastern) men any more than I can help not being attracted to women. It's just not my preference and that's before you factor in culture.

Once I factor in culture, I'm even less likely to date a non-white guy. Generally, I'm most comfortable in environments that are primarily liberal, educated, middle to upper class and "white" culturally. While I'm ok in situations that are predominantly black, it's culturally very different than my normal (even my dad's church, family gatherings, etc) and I never feel like I completely fit in. I don't understand a lot of references, lingo or certain cultural norms and I'm socially awkward anyway, so that all just compounds the issue. There's just stuff that's out of my frame of reference and it's hard to be in an environment where you constantly feel out of place and like you're missing something or on the verge of potentially accidentally offending someone. If I lived in a place like Craig has described, it would be really hard for me and I would likely feel pretty isolated and frustrated. I don't hear Craig saying anything other than that he has a pretty specific preference when it comes to women he wants to date and his options are virtually non-existent in his current environment. 

I also don't see anything particularly awful about the other things Craig has said. I've dated men that were good looking but dumb  (my equivalent of his pretty and mean) and I just couldn't hang. I'd date them for awhile because they were fun to look at, but the novelty would wear off and I'd be over it. I say, know your limits and your deal breakers. Nothing wrong with that.  I feel like people on this forum have often been judged harshly and treated poorly because of their weight so there's a visceral response when Craig is so blunt about his preferences. And then factoring in race just makes his opinion that more of a sensitive point for some folks. But, really, are there people out there that date/partner/marry people they're not physically attracted to? Honestly? Because I just don't see how anyone who want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't turn them on. Obviously there's more to a relationship than that, but physical attraction is one of the keystones of a functional, well rounded, healthy relationship.  At least for me (and everyone I've ever met). 

So Craig, I say move. The sooner, the better. You're going through a grieving period regarding your relationship with food and your current environment is just making everything worse. 

Anyway, that's just my thoughts and perspective on the situation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My initial responses had absolutely nothing to do with the racial aspect of his post. It wasn't even mentioned in the initial post. We all have a "type" of person we are attracted to whether it be on physical or intellectual levels. I get that, and it doesn't concern me. What I was reacting to was a post that sounded like he regretted the surgery because losing weight hadn't made him an automatic chick magnet. It pretty much sounded like that was the only reason he had the surgery, and because things hadn't gone the way he wanted he now regretted having had it. Later posting just exacerbated my initial feelings because of the comments regarding "nailing" woman that don't come up to his particular standards whilst on the hunt for "the one".

Surely as people who have clearly had weight issues, and likely suffered at the hands of some nasty/thoughtless folk in the past, we can show a little more understanding and maturity. There is far more to a long term relationship than the way either partner looks, and if getting a long term partner is the reason for someone going through the procedure, then chances are they will be sorely disappointed when they finally grow up enough to realise the superficially of appearance in the scheme of things.

Edited by Aussie H
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...