Jolls

I can finally see it....

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I guess finally isn't quite right - its been 1/2 a year or so since I don't see the 400lbs self anymore.  But I don't even see ME in those old photos anymore.  Like....its hard for me to even imagine or remember looking like this.    It took so long to NOT see it and now I hardly remember even being like that?  The mind is so weird!

I don't mind pictures so much now;  but I don't like ones where I am sitting because gravity is not kind with all this excess left.  But this was just too hard to not compare.   I have no compression stuff on either in this pic, which does help to smooth stuff out.

 

 

 

wheeler1.jpg

 

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Jolls, you look so different.  You've come so far!!  Congrats on all you've accomplished!

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After meeting you, it's hard to believe that you were that person on the left! You are looking awesome!

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Same nose. Same eyes. Same mouth. Otherwise, wow what a difference.

This is meant positively and is prompted by how much you have been struggling with not liking where you are today ... You look average, like anybody else on the street.

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4 hours ago, Jolls said:

I guess finally isn't quite right - its been 1/2 a year or so since I don't see the 400lbs self anymore.  But I don't even see ME in those old photos anymore.  Like....its hard for me to even imagine or remember looking like this.    It took so long to NOT see it and now I hardly remember even being like that?  The mind is so weird!

I don't mind pictures so much now;  but I don't like ones where I am sitting because gravity is not kind with all this excess left.  But this was just too hard to not compare.   I have no compression stuff on either in this pic, which does help to smooth stuff out.

 

 

 

wheeler1.jpg

 

You worked your butt off lil gal! I remember all those walks in the snow and all the snow shoveling. You have always worked hard and been honest when messing up. You're a constant inspiration to me and many others. As those before me mention. You do not look like the same person at all. I personally think you have a beautiful personality and kind spirit. You've helped me and many others, so i just wanted to say thank you and congrats.

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You look great!! Absolutely great!!  I'm glad you're able to see it now because you really look great!!!  

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I find the transformation stunning Jolls - you're down almost 200lb!

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Wow, Jolls!  Congrats on all your progress....as always, you are in inspiration.

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You look great!  Congratulations!

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jolls - you look great, and have accomplished so much. don't let anyone tell you different. many hugs to you. ^_^

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You look great! Plus you are one inspirational lady. Thank you for everything you contribute here Jolls!

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Jolls, you look great and as others have stated before me, you are an inspiration and a wealth of knowledge, I try to read everything I can that you post as you are honest and thoughtful and always have great advice.

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14 minutes ago, duffman27 said:

Jolls, you look great and as others have stated before me, you are an inspiration and a wealth of knowledge, I try to read everything I can that you post as you are honest and thoughtful and always have great advice.

Ditto!  I appreciate that your posts are always practical, straight-forward and honest.  

 

ETA:. And you look awesome!

Edited by Dunndeal

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You look amazing!

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holeeeee moly! wow! just wow.  you are literally half of what you used to be! congrats on your amazing transformation!

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Wow what a transformation!  Your weight loss success, as well as the wisdom in your posts, are inspirational to us all.

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amazing transformation.  thanks for all you contribute.

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What am amazing transformation. It's very inspiring to see how far you have come and how honest you are in your struggles.

Congratulations.

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Jolls, 

You've always been totally honest,  unflinching and brave.  Sleeveless and in shorts at your highest weight?  More courage than I have/had.  Your transformation and insights on this journey are a key part to my own journey and I am grateful.  I completely understand your comments regarding your pictures.  I, too, do not recognize myself in the old pictures.  The pictures bring a myriad of emotions to the surface.  A sense of disbelief and a bit of shame that I was that size, a recognition that one of my coping methods was not acknowledging that I was morbidly obese, a tiny, tiny bit of longing for my old friend - food, a sense of relief that I am not that person any more, a fear that I may become that person again.   

When I look at myself today I see a different person in my upper torso but my lower torso looks EXACTLY the same to me.  Every time I put on a pair of pants I go through the thought of process of "this isn't going to fit me" to the "squish it all in there and it might zip up", to "wow, it's even comfortable".   

Thanks Jolls. 

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9 minutes ago, ikantspel said:

Jolls, 

You've always been totally honest,  unflinching and brave.  Sleeveless and in shorts at your highest weight?  More courage than I have/had.  Your transformation and insights on this journey are a key part to my own journey and I am grateful.  I completely understand your comments regarding your pictures.  I, too, do not recognize myself in the old pictures.  The pictures bring a myriad of emotions to the surface.  A sense of disbelief and a bit of shame that I was that size, a recognition that one of my coping methods was not acknowledging that I was morbidly obese, a tiny, tiny bit of longing for my old friend - food, a sense of relief that I am not that person any more, a fear that I may become that person again.   

When I look at myself today I see a different person in my upper torso but my lower torso looks EXACTLY the same to me.  Every time I put on a pair of pants I go through the thought of process of "this isn't going to fit me" to the "squish it all in there and it might zip up", to "wow, it's even comfortable".   

Thanks Jolls. 

I totally agree with every word of this. 

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8 hours ago, ikantspel said:

Jolls, 

You've always been totally honest,  unflinching and brave.  Sleeveless and in shorts at your highest weight?  More courage than I have/had.  Your transformation and insights on this journey are a key part to my own journey and I am grateful.  I completely understand your comments regarding your pictures.  I, too, do not recognize myself in the old pictures.  The pictures bring a myriad of emotions to the surface.  A sense of disbelief and a bit of shame that I was that size, a recognition that one of my coping methods was not acknowledging that I was morbidly obese, a tiny, tiny bit of longing for my old friend - food, a sense of relief that I am not that person any more, a fear that I may become that person again.   

When I look at myself today I see a different person in my upper torso but my lower torso looks EXACTLY the same to me.  Every time I put on a pair of pants I go through the thought of process of "this isn't going to fit me" to the "squish it all in there and it might zip up", to "wow, it's even comfortable".   

Thanks Jolls. 

Sleeveless and in shorts for two reasons  1) our annual 4-wheeling trip and its hot to start with ontop of being overly hot from being fat and more importantly 2) I didn't realize I was that big or look that bad.   I knew I didn't look all that good and that I was fat....I just didn't know I was THAT fat.   Ties in with your comment about not acknowleding that I was morbidly obese -  guilty!   I really did not know I was that big.

We had a rummage sale a couple weekends ago and mom was helping me get stuff out and sorted etc.  I've sold most of my old clothes on Ebay but stuff that isn't quite nice enough I had on the rummage.  There were a couple times I had to pause and comment to her about my old clothes....I couldn't believe how big they looked.   Like they always looked big but now they look HUUUUUGGGEE.   Its just so odd how the mind can alter what is normal.  It was normal for me to be gigantic and so I didn't see myself as gigantic.  As I lost weight I still saw the big self until one day that shifted and then I saw the smaller version self.  And now I am so used to seeing myself at this size....this size is normal to my brain and all those old photos/clothes just do not compute and don't seem like it was real.   But it obviously was.

 

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1 hour ago, Jolls said:

Sleeveless and in shorts for two reasons  1) our annual 4-wheeling trip and its hot to start with ontop of being overly hot from being fat and more importantly 2) I didn't realize I was that big or look that bad.   I knew I didn't look all that good and that I was fat....I just didn't know I was THAT fat.   Ties in with your comment about not acknowleding that I was morbidly obese -  guilty!   I really did not know I was that big.

We had a rummage sale a couple weekends ago and mom was helping me get stuff out and sorted etc.  I've sold most of my old clothes on Ebay but stuff that isn't quite nice enough I had on the rummage.  There were a couple times I had to pause and comment to her about my old clothes....I couldn't believe how big they looked.   Like they always looked big but now they look HUUUUUGGGEE.   Its just so odd how the mind can alter what is normal.  It was normal for me to be gigantic and so I didn't see myself as gigantic.  As I lost weight I still saw the big self until one day that shifted and then I saw the smaller version self.  And now I am so used to seeing myself at this size....this size is normal to my brain and all those old photos/clothes just do not compute and don't seem like it was real.   But it obviously was.

 

Yes you looked big but honestly you didn't look bad, you had good proportion and good skin etc. You were pretty then and even prettier now, I'm not just giving platitudes, I really mean it.

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WOW- amazing transformation!

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That's amazing! I'm glad your brain is finally playing catch up. Great job!

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4 hours ago, lightenupwoman said:

That's amazing! I'm glad your brain is finally playing catch up. Great job!

Haven't seen you on here for a bit...how are you doing? 

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