modesta96

Did you tell your children?

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I have two children ages 6 and 9. I am not sure if I am going to tell them about the surgery, maybe when they're teens.... They know I am trying to lose weight when they see me not eating the dinners I cook but that is all they know. 

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My children were older-grown 20-25.  2 found out by accident.  They were sworn to secrecy. At the time our oldest was married and living in France.  I didn't want her worrying, didn't tell her for a couple months later.  #2 and 3 found out by accident.  I told the younger 2  week and a half after the fact.  Those 2 are 10 months apart and like twins-they don't keep any thing to themselves.  Only reason those two needed to know was I had a spear bowl party 11 days out and couldn't eat.  

Now my kids don't remember me being heavier even though I was all their lives;). Yours are a bit young but will realize you have a hurt tummy.  And have a special diet.

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Yes, I told my kids. They were 3 and 5 when I had surgery. I explained it as simply as I could, but they knew it was surgery and visited me in the hospital. I thought it was important for them to know what was going on and how things would change post-op. 

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My daughter was 6 when I had surgery and I told her.  I'm like Greer, I wanted them to know what was going on.  She took the information well no enjoyed being part of the post surgical process.  I think it would have been tougher for her if I came home with drastically altered eating and didn't give her an explanation as to why.

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I told my four year olds that I had a tummy owie, and they were great about it, throughout the healing process. The two year old was oblivious. The nine year old was out of state, so I told him later. I told the 18 year olds beforehand and swore them to social media secrecy. I don't mind people knowing, and I assume everyone will eventually, but due to a very bad outcome after WLS in the family, I want control of how it gets back to my in-laws.

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I don't have kids, but I think it is good for them to be aware.  If you don't want to go into detail, just say mama is having surgery and you have to be really careful around her belly for a while until she is healed.   From a child's stand point, I always wanted my parents to be straight with me.  My mom always talked through surgeries she had with me, I think it made me stronger and showed me how to advocate for myself.  Kids learn by example, show them this surgery isn't weakness, but strength - you being an advocate for yourself and doing whatever needs to be done to be healthy and stay with them for a long time.

Good Luck

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My kids are teens, I told them , I tell everyone that asks about my weight loss, I was embarrassed to begin with but now I'm over it , if it helps someone I'm down with that.

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I told my daughter from the very beginning of the process. She was 13 and learned better nutrition with me along the way. She looks at things and prioritizes protein first just like I do. I was torn before surgery about telling all my loved ones and friends but ultimately made the decision to tell them myself as I did not want to leave that for my husband to explain if something went wrong, he would have enough to deal with without having to explain my choice to people.

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My kids were 10 an 7. i told them. Just that I was having surgery on my stomach and that I would be really tired and hurting for a while, but that it was normal and that I would be ok. I didn't want them to worry too much about me. Now, i am VERY open about it. I see my daughter falling into my old patterns and have been trying to, gently, change her habits. I am using my own experience as a motivator to eat well and live well now so they don't end up having to take the extreme measure that I did. 

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I told my 16 year old son, he has been as supportive as a teenager can be!  He quite enjoys going out for meals with me now as he gets to top up his own meal with all of my leftovers (which isn't a problem as he is a very active boy).

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I think it depends on the age and the situation.  My children where 10 and 15 when I had surgery.  I told my 15 year old son what and why and he was very supportive, he also understood that he could not discuss it with his father (my ex) and his step mother as they would be very judgmental and would say mean things to my younger son.  I told my 10 year old that I was have an operation for "a woman problem"  which it kind of is (I know it's a stretch)  He didn't ask too many questions and was helpful during my recovery.  I think that if the child is at the age that knowing will make them scared or worried that you may not want to say anything or at least play it down to something extremely routine. 

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I told my children once surgery was scheduled, which meant I told them 10 days out from actual surgery.  They were aware I had struggled with health issues for years.  None of them every saw me as overweight (even though I was the only one with a weight issue in the family).  I knew there was going to be a recovery process and things that would change about my eating habits.  They had a chance to ask their questions, to process what to expect and to understand what this was going to mean for me and our family. 

It was the only fair thing to them but it also turned my children into my cheering squad.  My oldest runs 5Ks with me now, and all of them have followed my increased exercise habits by working on increasing their own activity levels.  Its been life altering for ALL of us, but its been a positive change.  I think if I had not told them, they would have been concerned that I was sick and dying.  And after they lost a brother already, I think that thought is one I definitely didn't want them to ever have.

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I told my kids. They knew that I was always tired and feeling sick. I let them know that the dr had a way to make me feel better and for all the hard work I put in to losing weight to work better. I told them it was private. They know that my stomach works different than theirs now. It was no big deal for them and we didn't have any issues. I have had many surgeries though, so it would have been weird if I wouldn't have given them context. 

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I told my then 16 year old everything.  She was not supportive at first because she too was heavy, and she thought I was taking the easy way out.  Well, one year later, and she is my biggest cheerleader.  She is giving serious thought to having the surgery when she turns 18.

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I have an eight year old daughter and she knows all about it. I just made sure to explain it so it didn't sound like a big deal so she wouldn't worry--it wasn't a problem. No big deal.

She's very concerned about me lifting heavy things and what I eat though, it's sweet!

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I have 4 children and I told the 2 older ones. The others were 2 and 4 months at the time, so clearly they would not have understood.

My older 2 took it well and we explained it in terms they could understand. In my opinion it was less scarier for them to know what was going on so that I wasn't missing for 2 days. They also had been through my other 2 C-sections so they kind of got what surgery was...

In the end, whatever makes you and your family comfortable.

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