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ok were done. some of you are just plain special. I didn't do anything but ask for thoughts and im being condemned by the most holy and pure people to walk the earth.  thank you to those who were honest enough to say they have been there and those who gave real advice. Im sorry I thought this was a support site.

Edited by WORKINTHECURVES

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If it's really advice you want, walkway, you're opening a big parcel labelled "bad times" and are about to jump right in. There will be other men who make yoy feel good but can give, not just take.

Don't be a doormat.

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*walk away

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Agreed, walk away. You can't be available for the right relationship if you're wasting time and emotional energy on the wrong one. It will be hard, and it will hurt, but you will get over it if you choose to.

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i know hes married and things would never be more than what it is but i just cant. im not looking for anyone to tell me its wrong or i deserve better or hes not good enough...

 

 

Based on your post you don't want to hear my advice.

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Very hard to restrain myself.... But like PapaG said and you asked kindly...... You don't won't to hear my advice either ........ I am a married woman with children.

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nope. not worth it. i made a super extra long post about this, and it was deleted. don't feel like going into it again.

 

just... from someone who's been there, not worth it. take the past for what it was, let it go and move on. find someone who's single. sorry.

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I'm not sure what it is you are expecting when you ask for thoughts.

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Walk away.  And you are right - you went past the friendship boundary and you can't uncross it.  The friendship will always be "weird" even if you are able to go back to just a friendship (but you already know that you can't by what you are feeling).  I have been there with what I thought was a friend who was supposedly separated from his wife (I didn't know her because me and him had drifted apart when he met her and I had gotten married, and we reconnected right after I left my husband).  Let's just say that it didn't end well.

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Thanks.. to most of you anyhow.. I just needed to get that out and hear some thoughts from those who have been in similar situations. as I said, I know its not right but I am human as are most of us, things happen and none of us are perfect.. Again thanks to those that understood and said the words I needed to hear..

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Hi,

We are in the same stage of recovery from surgery, and I think this time is a lot like the first year of recovery from any addiction. We are going through all kinds of emotional and physical changes. Feeling attractive and getting sexual attention evoke powerful hormonal and neuro-chemical responses......that can make your self-preservation instincts and integrity go out the window. I'm sure many on this forum could tell you stories!

The standard rule is not to make any major decisions in the first year, especially after "a little alcohol" - which for us right now gives the effect of a lot of alcohol. Others have reminded you that this won't likely work out for you.

But remember, if you think you truly care for this man and are not just toying with him to perpetuate the gigantic ego boost he is giving you, you are not being honest with him, you are playing games and not supporting him in his decision to put your flirtation behind you. It does not sound like he wants what you want and to push a friend into jeopardizing his marriage because you are obsessed is ______________ [you fill in the right word].

I hope you reflect carefully and act with kindness towards all involved.

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II am a very non-judgemental person, so I would never say that you don't want to hear what I think. I don't know if you are a follower of Christ, Budda, or Mana, so I couldn't begin to say "what your doing is wrong" . I live by a quote by Walt Whitman that says, "Re-examine everything you have been told and dimiss what insults your soul" The last thing a person needs to to feel judgment durning a extremly emotional time. So I would say, if it feels right in your soul then presue it. If any part of it "insults" you or hurts you then it is time to walk away. This is the time in your life to focus on yourself. Don't sell yourself short.

Edited by leigha

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 im not looking for anyone to tell me its wrong or i deserve better or hes not good enough...

 

Um. I know I'm new here, and don't know you all like that, but this is a public board, and you asked for thoughts so:

 

My thoughts are that you should find a forum with other like minded individuals (people who are okay with dishonesty and cheating to satisfy desires) to get such advice. I don't believe a forum full of people trying to better their lives is the appropriate place to seek advice on how to destroy lives.

Edited by kdeniset

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Um. I know I'm new here, and don't know you all like that, but this is a public board, and you asked for thoughts so:

 

My thoughts are that you should find a forum with other like minded individuals (people who are okay with dishonesty and cheating to satisfy desires) to get such advice. I don't believe a forum full of people trying to better their lives is the appropriate place to seek advice on how to destroy lives.

 

Sorry. just being honest. I just really feel bad for the wife here.

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My reasoning is more based on the needs of the lady posting. This is the first guy to show some interest since her weight loss journey began. I feel he's not acted as a friend at all! He's taken advantage of a person who is at a vulnerable point in life. He's also proved he has zero integrity by cheating on his wife. This is a really bad situation to walk into. Workinthecurves, it would be wise of you to see that a relationship that begins like this cannot end well. For any of you.

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My reasoning is more based on the needs of the lady posting. This is the first guy to show some interest since her weight loss journey began. I feel he's not acted as a friend at all! He's taken advantage of a person who is at a vulnerable point in life. He's also proved he has zero integrity by cheating on his wife. This is a really bad situation to walk into. Workinthecurves, it would be wise of you to see that a relationship that begins like this cannot end well. For any of you.

100% agree!!!!!

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Better be safe than sorry find someone that doesn't have baggage ,and if he's cheating on his wife what makes you think he won't do the same to you ,but I'm single if your interested

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but I'm single if your interested

 

LOL

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Um.....I am coming to this party late, but I have now arrived.  If you are interested in having a relationship with a married man, you are part of the problem.  Straight and simple.  That's my take on it as a married woman that had a friend go after my husband.  Let me tell you that anytime you are together (if you are), in the corner of his mind his wife is with you too.  Every stolen moment is just that - stolen from his wife and kids.  If he ever leaves his wife for you, the likelihood of the relationship working is slim according to statistics, and his children will loathe you.

 

Run!  Run as far as you can in the opposite direction from this.  You deserve better than to be his "go to girl" when he wants to fantasize that he's still a stud and he's not married.  Find the self-worth and courage to cut these ties forever!

Edited by LouisianaLady

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