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This is hard for me.  
 
 
I need your advice/ recommendation.
 Please excuse me for my typos.  I was just letting my feelings out and did not proof read. 
 
I guess I can call myself a recovering addict, who has relapsed and continues to be in relapse mode.  I have become overtly confident about this journey, foolishly believing that I got this, but the truth is that my food addiction got me.  I have lost the motivation to keep going.  Im not doing the things I should be doing to continuing to lose weight and to maintain.   I went from the action phase of my recovery to relapse.  I do not use consequential thinking and don’t exercise delayed gratification.   I am my worst enemy to say the least.   I knew how hard it was for me to get the surgery,  I enjoyed the honeymoon phase, and even though I knew it was going to come to an end, I did not prepare for maintenance.  I am struggling with my weight loss.  I don’t know where I went wrong and why?   Who in God’s name am I fooling?  I know where I went wrong, im just in denial.
 
I have not been so diligent or careful. I have eaten the wrong foods.  Cannot let go of that ¼-1/2  cup of haggen dazz ice cream and  have not committed to my exercise routine.  Im overtly tired, and not motivated at doing anything that is related to my weight loss.  I cant understand why I want to continue to sabotage what I worked so hard for?    Could it be that I was so comfortable being uncomfortable that I want to go back, so  I'm sabotaging what is good for me and feel miserable.  Instead of dropping from 141-120.  I went up from 141 lbs to 150lbs.  It may not be much, but at 13 months post op i find it to be a lot.  
What, how often and how much I should be eating?
How do I get the motivation to get back on track ?
I am afraid that I have stretch my sleeve, even though at times my sleeve reminds me that it still there.   :) 

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I'm still in the honeymoon so I don't know that I can be helpful but I know that what you're expressing is what I fear.  I have heard long-termers talk about the 5 day pouch plan which may help get you back on track.  Good luck to you getting this under control; we are our own worst enemies sometimes! 

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I'd second the 5-Day Pouch Test.

 

If you stick to it, it'll help detox you from the carbs/sugars you've let back into your life.

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You stuck to the program before and were successful, so you know what to do, it comes down to finding the drive to do it.  I second the 5 day pouch test, but I'd also recommend finding someone to talk with face-to-face...a therapist.  You use addiction language when talking about your challenges, addiction should be discussed with a professional.

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I second PapaG's recommendation - you have an addiction and need help understanding why you are sabotaging all your previous work.   You CAN do this, but reach out for the help you need to get back on track.   Best of luck to you...

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I triple the advice about the therapist.

The behaviors you describe suggest addiction like behavior. A therapist might help you discover the core issue(s) that are leading you the self sabotage behaviors.

Please do not beat yourself up about this situation. Let your issues occurring now be a life lesson and you move forward. Beating yourself up will not help. Self hating saps your energy and keeps you bogged down and unable to move forward.

Sounds like you are getting a handle on this situation.

Best

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Thank you all for your suggestions.   I am receptive to everything that was suggested.  I will try the five day pouch test, since I need to detox from sugar and carb.  A well as to seek the help I need to end the addiction cycle.   :)

 

I triple the advice about the therapist.
The behaviors you describe suggest addiction like behavior. A therapist might help you discover the core issue(s) that are leading you the self sabotage behaviors.
Please do not beat yourself up about this situation. Let your issues occurring now be a life lesson and you move forward. Beating yourself up will not help. Self hating saps your energy and keeps you bogged down and unable to move forward.
Sounds like you are getting a handle on this situation.
Best

 

 

I second PapaG's recommendation - you have an addiction and need help understanding why you are sabotaging all your previous work.   You CAN do this, but reach out for the help you need to get back on track.   Best of luck to you...

 

 

You stuck to the program before and were successful, so you know what to do, it comes down to finding the drive to do it.  I second the 5 day pouch test, but I'd also recommend finding someone to talk with face-to-face...a therapist.  You use addiction language when talking about your challenges, addiction should be discussed with a professional.

 

 

I'd second the 5-Day Pouch Test.

 

If you stick to it, it'll help detox you from the carbs/sugars you've let back into your life.

 

 

I'm still in the honeymoon so I don't know that I can be helpful but I know that what you're expressing is what I fear.  I have heard long-termers talk about the 5 day pouch plan which may help get you back on track.  Good luck to you getting this under control; we are our own worst enemies sometimes

 

 

Thank you all for your suggestions.   I am receptive to everything that was suggested.  I will try the five day pouch test, since I need to detox from sugar and carb.  A well as to seek the help I need to end the addiction cycle.   :)

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I have an addiction too. I know every single day my addiction is waiting for me to stop managing it so it can swoop back in and take over. I know what that path looks like - I lived it for 20+ years. At first, I can still 'control' myself to only eat a little bit of ice cream or just a few chips. Within a few days or couple of weeks, I'm eating the pint of ice cream in one sitting, 1/2 a bag of chips in one sitting and it really just goes downhill from there. Before I know it I'll be eating 4,000 - 5,000 calories a day. 

 

As others have said - therapy will help you. Consider a 12-step program if you haven't. 

 

I recently realized while I don't miss eating copious amounts of food, I miss how I felt when I would eat that food. So I find myself looking for those feelings in other places - exercise, outdoor adventures, reading, travel, volunteering, shopping for clothes and sex. My brain misses those hits of dopamine I would get from my favorite foods so I have to look for those pleasure hits elsewhere. 

 

You can get back on plan. You will have to white knuckle it for a few days to get off the carbs and sugar. It will suck but you can do it. For me, when I'm in denial, its my addiction talking to me. Trying to keep me on the wrong path so I can keep making decisions I don't really want to make. I actually think of my addiction as a thing that sits right over my shoulder. Before I started thinking of it this way I use to have so many feelings of guilt and shame that I just couldn't control my eating. Now, I think - of course I can't control it when that thing is in control. 

 

Good Luck. You can do this. I am pulling for you!!!!!!!!!

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I agree with most of these posts.  I would restart at the 5 day pouch test.  Remind yourself why you did this surgery in the first place.  Oh and don't buy any ice cream in the house!  Eventhough I still would love to loose the last 20lbs and have been maintaining since December I do have a bite here and there but never eat a whole bowl of my own.  You have to deal with food addiction in moderaterion.  It's okay for a (small) portion once in awhile just not everyday.  Oh and stay away from the carbs. 

 

Hang in there and get back on track. 

 

xoxoxoxoxo,

amber

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I know this is an old post, but it's always an important subject.

i have found that weighing every day has been very helpful. And getting in touch with portion sizes and how they correlate with the feeling of "full".  

I'll be weighing again in the morning, and want to see a loss, so I have to watch those portion sizes! I never weighed daily before...but now it's time. Always discovering!

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