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Who did you tell?


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I'm debating who I should tell about my WLS. So far I have only told my daughters 1 friend at work who had WLS years ago and my therapist. I haven't even told my mother since she is elderly and has enough medical problem of her own. She would just worry. I'll tell her afterward.  I told my boss that I needed time off for surgery but I didn't tell him what kind of surgery or what for. I don't know if I will tell people as they start noticing the weight loss or just tell them that I'm on  low carb diet...which wouldn't be a lie either...

 

Who did you tell that you were glad you did?..and who did you tell that you wish you hadn't?

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When I 1st started my WL journey w/ the HMR shake/entrée diet I told all my co-worker's and we had a "last supper" party w/ pasta, pizza, salad, cake and soda :) they were /are my cheerleaders-I lost 66 lbs pre-op and by then the shame I felt over my weight was lifted so I was open about it, had my surgery 8 months later and I am now -28 since surgery, was off 3 weeks and they treat me like a rock star-I even now have a co-worker that wants to have WLS- I think it is an individual choice, w/ me being in the Medical field it kind of came natural to tell them-best of luck to you!  I am even more open about the health issues that surely would of disabled me if not for starting this journey-and like I hear being said on here a lot-"Welcome to the loser's bench! "

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That's completely your call. Before the surgery, I told my husband and kids, my mom, and my sister in law (because she had to watch the kids the morning I was admitted for surgery because DH wanted to be there...thank goodness he was). I also told my supervisor and her boss because I needed the time off work and had to arrange all of that (my supervisor's boss's wife had a bypass and did well with it, so he completely understood what was up), and then my unit, which was two other people. That's it. After my surgery had passed and I had lost some weight, when people asked me what was wrong with worried looks on their faces, I told most of them. Some I knew could handle it, but a few I just told I was on a medically supervised diet and exercise regimen. I got 100% positive support. I got a new job in late October and the only people that know I had it done at my new job is my supervisor and unit co-worker because I wanted to let them know about my dietary restrictions (no sugar!) because they usually do treats and cake for people's birthdays and I didn't want to decline anything and have people ask questions. It's all good and I got to educate my supervisor, who is amazing.

 

Now, I'm pretty open about it. If anyone asks, I might tell them, but it depends on the situation. 

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Its a very individual decision.  I told some people before surgery and everyone after, I just didn't want to deal with all the questions before surgery.  Before I told my wife and kids and some other immediate family as well as my boss (he is a decent guy who I thought should know why I was out).

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I haven't told my family yet, though some know I was researching it. My work family know and have been completely supportive. In fact, they are taking me out May 3 for my last meal.

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Everyone! I'm very proud of my decision and success.

If I could tattoo it on my forehead I would,

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I only told my husband and my mom and dad. That's it. Maybe in the future I will be more open but right now, one month out, I enjoy being able to focus on myself without anyone else's input or opinion.

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I told/tell pretty much everyone. I went from 340+lbs to 176 in less than 13 months, there was no hiding it, plus I eat like a weirdo. Now at almost 4years out I guess I don't have to tell people, but I'm not ashamed of it at all. Being honest has let others reach out to me and have the surgery themselves. I think it's dishonest to let people assume you lost the weight on your own, it perpetuates the negative feelings towards wls and that if people had more willpower they' wouldn't be fat

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I told/tell pretty much everyone. I went from 340+lbs to 176 in less than 13 months, there was no hiding it, plus I eat like a weirdo. Now at almost 4years out I guess I don't have to tell people, but I'm not ashamed of it at all. Being honest has let others reach out to me and have the surgery themselves. I think it's dishonest to let people assume you lost the weight on your own, it perpetuates the negative feelings towards wls and that if people had more willpower they' wouldn't be fat

You make some good points. In my case...People have seen me drop massive amounts of weight in short periods of time and put it back on with extra in very short order...So the weight loss won't be so unusual. Not immediately putting the weight back on will be the difference.

My friend at work who had the surgery about 10 years ago got me thinking about who to tell. She regrets telling everyone. Most people are supportive...but there are others who don't approve or think she took the easy way out (Easy way is being cut open because you can't do it on your own???) It just added a level of stress that she didn't need at work. And it's not like you are changing anyone's mind. Most that disapprove are talking behind your back...So I see her point as well.

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In my opinion they are going to talk anyways, especially with your history. For me this was the easiest weight loss attempt, the weight fell off with minimal diet changes besides portion control and stayed off with little effort. Obviously it's not that way for everyone and I was very ill after that there was no hiding something had been done. I'm proud of white I've done, I'm open and honest about the plastic surgery I've had postop too. My body was a mess, there was no bounce back.

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My sister in law and I did this together. She had a BMI over 60 and needed to make a change and soon. I had a BMI of 38, but had 2 comorbidities which qualified me. So since we went through this process together pretty much all of my husbands family knew, since she told them. On my side I only told my mother before hand. She told her sister and 2 weeks post op I told my brother and grandmother. I have received nothing but support from them all. I hit my first goal this week and my mother told me great job and to go get my hair done anyway I want it and she was paying for it. A new style to go with the new me she said.

As for work, I am starting a new job next Tuesday and I don't plan on telling anyone specifically. Now it may eventually be known but it isn't something that I am going to just broadcast.

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I told my husband, my parents, and my brother.  My husband ended up telling a whole bunch of folks (grrrr).  I don't shout it from the rooftops, but when people ask, I let them know that I have made a major lifestyle change to improve my health.  I am proud of my decision to have WLS, but I choose not to let the world know about it.  The decision is a very personal one, so do what makes you comfortable.

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Only my family and one friend of mine.  Everyone else will figure it out soon enough.  Didn't even tell my boss, only that I needed surgery!

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Everyone! I'm very proud of my decision and success.

If I could tattoo it on my forehead I would,

What she said!!!  EVERYONE knows about it and I have had nothing but positive support all along the way.  I even posted it on Facebook with pictures.  I am very proud of the fact that I took this step and I am very proud of the results.    I also wanted them to have the truth rather than have them making up their own reasons why I went from a size 24 to a 4 in such a short time.   Greer  - my daughter designed her own tattoos maybe I could get her to design one for our foreheads  - lol

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In no way am I ashamed of my journey, in fact, I'm extremely proud!  However, only my husband knew about my surgery.  I never told our kids/friends/family/co-workers.  For me - this is a personal journey.

 

That being said, a little while ago I told two of my best friends.  Since sharing my experience with them, they both decided on WLS!  One gf had her surgery two weeks ago, and the other is scheduled for next Tuesday!

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I have told everyone! I am a very honest person, I have a very hard time understanding why someone wouldn't be more open with people. It is a personal journey but it also a very impresonal journey. People observe and wonder. I prefer to be open and honest about everything I do, because I believe in karma, and I also believe if someone is struggling with the choice to explore surgery they may miss out on a person who is or has done it sharing the experience, what if that was their only hurdle?

 

 

I am 3 days away from my surgery and everyone I know knows. My friends, family, daycare provider, mom's at my daughter's gymnastic class, my work, everyone of my FaceBook friends and Twitter Followers. I myself, have lived a life that screams for a book to capture the moments of tradgey and tears, I have learned the more people that care about me the more will help. For instance, one of my daughter friends mom's is going to pick up my daughter from school and bring her home, a gymnastic mom is going to come get my daughter and take her to gymnastics and bring her home. I am thankful I have those people, even though they don't really know me, they care.

 

Best of luck on your journey.

Edited by leigha
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Karma?  I don't believe for one second that I'm being dishonest.  It's admirable when people want/can be an open book, but, I don't think that not disclosing is any less admirable.

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Karma?  I don't believe for one second that I'm being dishonest.  It's admirable when people want/can be an open book, but, I don't think that not disclosing is any less admirable.

I have to agree. I don't believe that you are not honest if you don't tell everyone everything you know.

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I never said anyone was being dishonest. I was sharing how I personal feel about and not attacking anyone for their beliefs or choices.

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I have told everyone! I am a very honest person, I have a very hard time understanding why someone wouldn't be more open with people. It is a personal journey but it also a very impresonal journey. People observe and wonder. I prefer to be open and honest about everything I do, because I believe in karma, and I also believe if someone is struggling with the choice to explore surgery they may miss out on a person who is or has done it sharing the experience, what if that was their only hurdle?

 

 

I am 3 days away from my surgery and everyone I know knows. My friends, family, daycare provider, mom's at my daughter's gymnastic class, my work, everyone of my FaceBook friends and Twitter Followers. I myself, have lived a life that screams for a book to capture the moments of tradgey and tears, I have learned the more people that care about me the more will help. For instance, one of my daughter friends mom's is going to pick up my daughter from school and bring her home, a gymnastic mom is going to come get my daughter and take her to gymnastics and bring her home. I am thankful I have those people, even though they don't really know me, they care.

 

Best of luck on your journey.

None of this is about karma.  I know you were trying to make a point here, but keep in mind that everyone does not choose to tell the world about everything that they do.  

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I believe in karma, if you withhold things , things are withheld from you. I don't need to be chided for my statement, it meant no offense to anyone. It was just my opinion, I would appreciate you respecting my beliefs.

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In no way am I ashamed of my journey, in fact, I'm extremely proud!  However, only my husband knew about my surgery.  I never told our kids/friends/family/co-workers.  For me - this is a personal journey.

 

That being said, a little while ago I told two of my best friends.  Since sharing my experience with them, they both decided on WLS!  One gf had her surgery two weeks ago, and the other is scheduled for next Tuesday!

and this is why telling people is a good thing.  Its a totally personal thing and this seems to be a hot topic - but letting people think that you lost all your weight with just diet and exercise just doesn't seem fair to me (but again and I will emphasis this - this is totally my personal opinion - so please no one yell at me)

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We all have our own choices about disclosing our WLS.  The way you walk in your journey is yours as mine is mine.  This includes how we share our journey with the world.

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We all have our own choices about disclosing our WLS.  The way you walk in your journey is yours as mine is mine.  This includes how we share our journey with the world.

 

Well said!  :)

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and this is why telling people is a good thing.  Its a totally personal thing and this seems to be a hot topic - but letting people think that you lost all your weight with just diet and exercise just doesn't seem fair to me (but again and I will emphasis this - this is totally my personal opinion - so please no one yell at me)

 

Completely agree - that's exactly why I shared my experience with two wonderful ladies who desperately needed help (like I did).

 

About 4 years ago - I managed to get down to 127 with diet and exercise.  Couldn't maintain it (again).  I'm so excited and grateful for this opportunity.

 

I truly believe there's no right or wrong answer to this question.   

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