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With all due respect for everybody and understanding that different cultures and places mean different behaviours ( i've been living in so many different countries to have learnt it on my own skin ) why don't you just go outside and find somebody to talk to , invite he / her to drink something and just do it the old way ?? I mean , i know everybody is " scared " to be rejected or hurt or something , but come on , go to a book store and begin talking to the nice lady that is looking at a book from an author that you like too . Or go to the gym and say hi to the girl beside you on the treadmill ....there are dozens places and opportunities around you to struck a conversation instead of doing it behind a Pc screen and it's ( IMHO ) more rewarding under all the points of view that you can think of ....just my 0.02 cents

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With all due respect for everybody and understanding that different cultures and places mean different behaviours ( i've been living in so many different countries to have learnt it on my own skin ) why don't you just go outside and find somebody to talk to , invite he / her to drink something and just do it the old way ?? I mean , i know everybody is " scared " to be rejected or hurt or something , but come on , go to a book store and begin talking to the nice lady that is looking at a book from an author that you like too . Or go to the gym and say hi to the girl beside you on the treadmill ....there are dozens places and opportunities around you to struck a conversation instead of doing it behind a Pc screen and it's ( IMHO ) more rewarding under all the points of view that you can think of ....just my 0.02 cents

 

Where are these people?  Because everywhere I go, they are already married or coupled.  I will happily make conversation in the real world with lots of different people but have had no success in meeting anyone to date that way.  Online dating is a fabulous tool and works great for a lot of people.  You can zero in on compatable potential partners in a short amount of time.  Everyone knows that everyone there is looking for someone, so there isn't any guessing about whether someone is available. 

 

I don't online date because I am afraid of rejection.  Quite the opposite.  It takes a lot of courage and a willingness to be very proactive and assertive.  It has it's shortcomings but don't knock it.

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Where are these people?  Because everywhere I go, they are already married or coupled.  I will happily make conversation in the real world with lots of different people but have had no success in meeting anyone to date that way.  Online dating is a fabulous tool and works great for a lot of people.  You can zero in on compatable potential partners in a short amount of time.  Everyone knows that everyone there is looking for someone, so there isn't any guessing about whether someone is available. 

 

I don't online date because I am afraid of rejection.  Quite the opposite.  It takes a lot of courage and a willingness to be very proactive and assertive.  It has it's shortcomings but don't knock it.

As i said in my post Karabelle i respect every and any different opinión and point of view on this matter. If online dating suits you fine , then more power to you !! I just prefer the old style .....

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Speed dating sounds like it could be fun. the dinner seems harder for me. Im semi shy in those "networking" situations (believe it or not!)

 

I do prefer to meet people out and about but the problem is getting out and about. most of my friends are coupled up so I have to go out alone and I automatically get quiet. there is no way I'll approach a woman in a group. its just weird.

 

My brother convinced me to try Tinder. its a free app for iPhone (etc) and it uses your facebook account to do a semi decent job of making sure people are real.

you make a profile, put in a mileage radius and then it uses your GPS to find people near you. you have until you are finished looking at their profile to decide if they are worth talking to, if both parties say yes, then you have the ability to text msg then go from there.

I have been using it for a few weeks and have had responses and actually went on a really fun date. it didnt work out for us, but there are no hard feelings.

 

Like anything, your mileage may vary

 

date picture from Malibu Canyon ...

post-49043-0-87735600-1414618265_thumb.p

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I have done it a bit off and on for several years... So far there has been nothing that has progressed past a couple dates. The last two were in the last six months. First girl was actually from ethipoia, cute girl, very sweet but she was very quiet and hard to get to have more than the very basic surface type of conversation. I just couldn't really feel a connection there. We went out 3-4 times and it fizzled out. Next girl looked nothing like her picture (not that she was hideous or anything). She then proceeded to talk and talk and talk and talk. I couldn't wait for the check to come so I could leave.

Reminds me of a shirt I saw at the beach years ago "I am talking and I can't shut up!"

I am so glad I won't ever have to date again. I have told my husband if he dies prematurely I will not replace him, once you have had the best, no one else will do!

He hasn't lost any weight since I had weight loss surgery, but his blood work improved! Hopefully he will last a long time!

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Never speed dating but I online dated with the best of em LOL. Met my husband that way.

 

One thing that is true about online dating is.....

The odds are good but the goods are odd.

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I have done it a bit off and on for several years... So far there has been nothing that has progressed past a couple dates. The last two were in the last six months. First girl was actually from ethipoia, cute girl, very sweet but she was very quiet and hard to get to have more than the very basic surface type of conversation. I just couldn't really feel a connection there. We went out 3-4 times and it fizzled out. Next girl looked nothing like her picture (not that she was hideous or anything). She then proceeded to talk and talk and talk and talk. I couldn't wait for the check to come so I could leave.

  • I went out with this guy, friend of a friend kind of thing. We went to dinner and he NEVER shut up! I swear to you I could have gone to his place of employment and done his job the next day. OMG! I mean I like to learn about the other person but seriously this was too much! Needless to say I didn't go out with him again.
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Never speed dating but I online dated with the best of em LOL. Met my husband that way.

 

One thing that is true about online dating is.....

The odds are good but the goods are odd.

Okay, it is on sister! September 2015 on the deck of our cruise room, we will have to share on-line dating stories! Bring a case of Depends!
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Okay, it is on sister! September 2015 on the deck of our cruise room, we will have to share on-line dating stories! Bring a case of Depends!

We will need a case of depends each night!!

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  • 2 months later...

I'd like to touch up on the foreigners dating to get a visa thing. As I said before I'm from Egypt, my boyfriend is from Germany. We met online, started out as just friends and things developed and here we are four and a half years later still holding on. I have no idea if our relationship will work out as we have a lot of financial issues to work out but It distresses me a lot what his friends and family think of me, because I know of the stigma attached to a white man dating a brown girl from a third world country or the opposite being a white woman dating a brown man; and while I don't discount the amount of people who would genuinely go that route of dating/marrying simply for the opportunity to travel; some of us genuinely care about our partners. To each their own, it would be heartbreaking if someone insinuated to my face or behind my back that the only reason I'm with him is because I want to move to his country...so just my 0.2c here, but people generally need to be less judgmental and maybe not add to the stigma. Especially when it's heavily abundant against 3rd world countries and people of color.

 

Ps- I'm not calling anyone a racist or talking about anyone in particular in this thread at all, I'm making a general point cause those comments hit pretty close to home for me.

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Mizzy - Not everyone does this, but honestly it is quite common.  My ex-husband is from a foreign Country and there is a large community of other people from his Country in our area.  We spent a lot of time with many of those people and the topic of marrying for a green card was frequently and openly discussed.  Many made financial arrangements and disclosed their intent to their "spouses".  Quite a few others deliberately deceived their spouse regarding their intent and this was common knowledge within their group although no one ever mentioned this to the spouse.  I have seen many people (mostly women) get hurt in this way.  I was unaware of the prevalence of this sort of behavior until marrying in to that community.  However, as I stated, this is not always the case.  A close friend of mine married a man from a foreign country as well.  He was here illegally when they met and he now has a green card.  They have been married 15 years and have 4 children.  I know several cases just like her.  

 

My point is that there is nothing wrong with discussing something that happens quite often.  Anyone who loves their friend or family member would be cautious about such a situation and would encourage their loved one to be careful and to pay attention to their love interest to be sure that they have honest intents.  I am sorry that hurts your feelings, but it happens too often to pretend otherwise.

Edited by angel0524
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As I said I don't discount the fact that a lot of people go that route. I don't have anything against people who do that kind of thing as long as all parties involved are aware and on board with it and I think people who deceive their partners to be with them just for a visa are despicable to  say the least. I'm also fully aware that women are primarily hurt by this as it's a known issues here that male Egyptians will do that to foreigners. I wish it wasn't so, and I fully understand it, I just know people who are in loving relationships that have nothing to do with visa or travel and still the guy gets questioned and probed a lot and she gets the stink eye and rude comments which I think is uncalled for, so all I'm saying is I hope people would give us in interracial relationships like this the benefit of the doubt, that's all. My comments are probably colored by personal experience and observation too. 

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It is difficult to give the immediate benefit of doubt when you are afraid that someone you love may be hurt.  My advise to you is to work out your financial problems as this may be a cause for suspicion among your BF's family and friends.  While doing so, keep showing him how much you love him and most of his friends and family will eventually relax.  Not everyone will receive you warmly, but most of the reasonable ones will in time.  As far as those who never accept you, don't worry about it as long as your BF loves you and believes that you are committed to your relationship with him.

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  • 5 years later...

It is funny. I was lying in bed tonight looking at these old posts. I have basically not been on this site since shortly after I started this thread and for some reason decided to spend a couple hours looking at these post from years ago. 2 interesting thoughts looking: 

 

first, not one person from this speed dating event said yes to me. The organizer felt so bad that she told me I could come back for free

 

Second, and more importantly I went on my first date with my wife exactly two months after the last post on this thread. 
 

My point is for those of us who lacked confidence in the dating world don’t let the setbacks get you down too much. Each time you put yourself out there you will be more likely to find someone. while speed dating did not work for me Eharmony did. 

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