Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I have lots of friends who did this when it first started to get big in NYC years ago.  They had a good time, but nothing serious came out of it, except some good laughs :)  But it's definitely worth a shot, and there could be many improvements to the system now.

 

Buddy, have you tried on line dating?  I know of many success stories (myself included).

Link to post
Share on other sites

Never tried speed dating - though some of my "first dates" could have been summed up like that. LOL

 

Good luck and can't wait to hear how it went.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It was interesting... They had 14 guys and 14 girls, ages were 25-37 (which was a perfect age range for me.) You had 5 minutes with each person, then you would mark down at the end whether you were interested or not interested. if both parties were interested, the organizer will send both of you each other's emails. I was struck by the number of foreign women there, which I kind of dug. 2 Brazilians, someone from Guyana, someone from Dominican Republic, someone from Vietnam. Fun thing to do instead of watching tv, don't know if I would do it again.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't tried speed dating but am an online dating pro.  I really think that it's a numbers game.  You gotta get out and meet as many people as you can.  Each one that isn't a match gets you one step closer to the person who is.  Plus it's great practice and you learn a lot about yourself and what you want in a partner each time you meet someone new.  I think speed dating is a great way to meet a lot of people in a short amount of time.  Not only does the right person for you have to have the right qualities, but the timing also has to be right for both people or you won't even recognize that you are a match.

 

I met a man who said both of his sisters met their husbands through online dating.  One met over 90 men before meeting her husband.  The other met over 100.  Gave me hope to just keep getting out there.  Love isn't going to find me if I just sit on my couch waiting for him to show up.  Good for you for being proactive and trying something new!

Edited by karabelle
Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Karabelle. Speed dating wasn't the greatest experience ever, but I met 15 people over the course of a couple hours. 1 of them could have been the one (though likely wasn't).

Link to post
Share on other sites

At least you can say you tried it.  You just never know when you are going to meet your soulmate.

 

I've done on-line dating and had hit or miss results. And then I met my fiancee a year and a half ago. Can't imagine being with anyone else (and I've been married a couple times).

Link to post
Share on other sites

I worked for 3 years at a dating agency,  and am always interested in dating stories.  I don't like speed dating,  it's too intense and too artificial.  I didn't mind the dinner for 8 idea (8 people are selected by the agency and meet for dinner, 4 men and 4 women) though they could get quite competitive if the diners weren't evenly matched.  I think the dating profile is essential - I keep telling people,  it's not a doorway,  it's a gateway.  It should accurately reflect who you are and what you want,  and most people reading it should walk away - and that's good,  because you don't want everyone to come through that door,  that's emotionally exhausting.    I would recommend on line - I ask people and Match gets lots of good referrals.  Eharmony is good but not for very dense populations - it doesn't work in NYC because you can't get a lower than 10 mile radius, and in New York that can be an hour away.  I've heard more mixed reviews on Plenty of Fish - I like ones that you have to at least pay some $ - more likely to keep the married folk off it,  and people at least use a legal name...

Link to post
Share on other sites

I worked for 3 years at a dating agency,  and am always interested in dating stories.  I don't like speed dating,  it's too intense and too artificial.  I didn't mind the dinner for 8 idea (8 people are selected by the agency and meet for dinner, 4 men and 4 women) though they could get quite competitive if the diners weren't evenly matched.  I think the dating profile is essential - I keep telling people,  it's not a doorway,  it's a gateway.  It should accurately reflect who you are and what you want,  and most people reading it should walk away - and that's good,  because you don't want everyone to come through that door,  that's emotionally exhausting.    I would recommend on line - I ask people and Match gets lots of good referrals.  Eharmony is good but not for very dense populations - it doesn't work in NYC because you can't get a lower than 10 mile radius, and in New York that can be an hour away.  I've heard more mixed reviews on Plenty of Fish - I like ones that you have to at least pay some $ - more likely to keep the married folk off it,  and people at least use a legal name...

I have used several on-line dating sites over the years.  I had used Match.com and found a really great guy, but in the end he was too afraid of actually committing. 

 

I then decided that I just wanted to see what was out there and not pay an arm and a leg so a friend told me about Plenty of Fish. Tons of responses and met some great guys and some real duds. But I was able to find out a lot more about me and what I was looking for and what I knew I didn't want to deal with. Ended up meeting my fiancee on Plenty of Fish. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

My favorite by far has been OKCupid.  I met tons of people on it.  I love the questions they ask to figure out who you would match with.  I found them pretty accurate.  I found that with Match and eHarmony, people can join for free but can't communicate unless they pay.  So there are tons of profiles of people who can't contact you.  I didn't get a single date from eHarmony.  I got one from Match.

 

PlentyofFish was ok too, but OKCupid was much more successful for me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

another vote for OKC.. have a second date next Saturday with a guy I met on there recently, My last relationship started there. Met a few good friends that way too. It's free and feels more "normal" than POF lol though you'll find some of the same guys on both sites. I don't hate POF it's just you have to do more filtering there I think lol

Link to post
Share on other sites

It was interesting... They had 14 guys and 14 girls, ages were 25-37 (which was a perfect age range for me.) You had 5 minutes with each person, then you would mark down at the end whether you were interested or not interested. if both parties were interested, the organizer will send both of you each other's emails. I was struck by the number of foreign women there, which I kind of dug. 2 Brazilians, someone from Guyana, someone from Dominican Republic, someone from Vietnam. Fun thing to do instead of watching tv, don't know if I would do it again.

 

I know for a fact that foreign women are often looking for a husband for citizenship purposes.  That's not to say that the relationship won't last.  I know of at least one relationship that began with marriage fraud and years later they married again and now have a child together.  My warning is to stay away from anyone who wants to use you or pay you for a green card.    

Link to post
Share on other sites

I did speed dating a few times. I needed to expand my circle of friends because when I was married to my first husband, everyone I had been associated with had some ties to the military. I made friends with men and women at speed dating so I had other single friends to do things with and chat with. I have been with my husband ten years now, so my dating days were in the early 2000's and I can't imagine how it has changed. I think there are a lot of duds out there just looking for a booty call and a fair number of married men pretending to be single.....you have to seriously weed out the bad ones. Buddy, you will have to let us know the flip side of on-line dating! Are the women looking for a booty call or a paycheck? Married women? Women looking for a new step-daddy for their ten kids? Inquiring minds want to know! Jen

Link to post
Share on other sites

I did speed dating a few times. I needed to expand my circle of friends because when I was married to my first husband, everyone I had been associated with had some ties to the military. I made friends with men and women at speed dating so I had other single friends to do things with and chat with. I have been with my husband ten years now, so my dating days were in the early 2000's and I can't imagine how it has changed. I think there are a lot of duds out there just looking for a booty call and a fair number of married men pretending to be single.....you have to seriously weed out the bad ones. Buddy, you will have to let us know the flip side of on-line dating! Are the women looking for a booty call or a paycheck? Married women? Women looking for a new step-daddy for their ten kids? Inquiring minds want to know! Jen

 

Or a green card.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Or a green card.

I guess this does happen, but I don't know how common it is.  My friends/family were kind of skeptical of my husband at first, since we met when he was still living in Israel.  No one ever came right out and said it to my face, but I knew what they were thinking!  9 years later and he is still around, and is now a US citizen.  Meeting me and leaving his place of birth, along with all of his family and friends, was not his plan.  But it happened, and I guess I was just that irresistible ;)

 

We have a good story, that I'm sure defies the odds.  But it's good to give people a chance sometimes. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I did speed dating a few times. I needed to expand my circle of friends because when I was married to my first husband, everyone I had been associated with had some ties to the military. I made friends with men and women at speed dating so I had other single friends to do things with and chat with. I have been with my husband ten years now, so my dating days were in the early 2000's and I can't imagine how it has changed. I think there are a lot of duds out there just looking for a booty call and a fair number of married men pretending to be single.....you have to seriously weed out the bad ones. Buddy, you will have to let us know the flip side of on-line dating! Are the women looking for a booty call or a paycheck? Married women? Women looking for a new step-daddy for their ten kids? Inquiring minds want to know! Jen

 

I have done it a bit off and on for several years... So far there has been nothing that has progressed past a couple dates. The last two were in the last six months. First girl was actually from ethipoia, cute girl, very sweet but she was very quiet and hard to get to have more than the very basic surface type of conversation. I just couldn't really feel a connection there. We went out 3-4 times and it fizzled out. Next girl looked nothing like her picture (not that she was hideous or anything). She then proceeded to talk and talk and talk and talk. I couldn't wait for the check to come so I could leave.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have done it a bit off and on for several years... So far there has been nothing that has progressed past a couple dates. The last two were in the last six months. First girl was actually from ethipoia, cute girl, very sweet but she was very quiet and hard to get to have more than the very basic surface type of conversation. I just couldn't really feel a connection there. We went out 3-4 times and it fizzled out. Next girl looked nothing like her picture (not that she was hideous or anything). She then proceeded to talk and talk and talk and talk. I couldn't wait for the check to come so I could leave.

 

LOL.  You are in the Baltimore area?  I know several hospitals do annual formal dances for WLS patients.  Franklin Square had one back in August and I know St. Agnes has one as well.  Maybe look around and see if there are other organized activities so that you can meet single people nearby who share at least that part of your experience?  I have also noticed that the few guys who actually dare to participate in the Zumba and Kickboxing classes at my gym tend to get a lot of attention.  Maybe stretch out beyond your comfort zone and visit places you wouldn't ordinarily go.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess this does happen, but I don't know how common it is.  My friends/family were kind of skeptical of my husband at first, since we met when he was still living in Israel.  No one ever came right out and said it to my face, but I knew what they were thinking!  9 years later and he is still around, and is now a US citizen.  Meeting me and leaving his place of birth, along with all of his family and friends, was not his plan.  But it happened, and I guess I was just that irresistible ;)

 

We have a good story, that I'm sure defies the odds.  But it's good to give people a chance sometimes. 

 

I have no doubt you're "just that irresistable," but you'd be surprised how often it happens.  :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have no doubt you're "just that irresistable," but you'd be surprised how often it happens.   :)

I agree with you... both men and women from foreign countries sometimes marry with the ulterior motive to gain residency and/or a green card.  Not always, but it happens pretty regularly.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you... both men and women from foreign countries sometimes marry with the ulterior motive to gain residency and/or a green card.  Not always, but it happens pretty regularly.

Yeah, I have a close friend who did this intentionally. Upstanding community leader, bank VP, and fully aware of what he was doing. I'm happy to say that he's been happily married for the 25 years since then.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A guy I was once involved with committed marriage fraud and they continued to date and although they were still legally married, eventually married again.  They now have a mortgage and a kid.  

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...