Hi Thinner Times!
I'm so excited to have found this forum. Up until now I've been watching ALL the YouTube videos available of people's journeys and now that I've decided I'm doing this thing, I'm really wanting to ask my specific questions, have contact, and start giving and receiving support from other people going through this journey!
A little about me and why I decided to get WLS. I'm 29, I'm a photographer and actor from SF and have lived in NYC for about 10 years. I have struggled with my weight and appearance my entire life. I have very deep rooted insecurity that is mainly centered around my physical body. I've suffered from bipolar (II) depression since I was about 25, and have fought with every fiber of my being to finally be stable, but I'm still very ashamed-often too ashamed for people to see me or to want to go outside. At 196 pounds, I'm heavier than I have ever been. I realize that my BMI is lower than many people's on here, but I truly struggle with being able to live my life at this weight and believe that this is the right decision for me. I have tried to diet, but I think that since I struggled and fought horrible depression for 4 years, that I've developed a food addiction that has prevented me from maintaining a diet and I don't want it to go any further. From 22-25 I was actually vegan, if you can believe it! I have tried very hard to find that lifestyle again, but have failed more times than I can count. I also find it really difficult to work out with the extra weight and I get frustrated and sad really easily. In short, I really want to finally be free of much of these physical issues and live my life.
I am self-pay for the VSG surgery and I'm getting it done in September. I wanted to do it in the US and be local in case anything goes wrong. I wanted to invest in doing it what I believe is the right way. I'm preparing as much as possible with my psychologist and nutritionist. I've chosen to work with an outside nutritionist who's an eating disorder specialist because I really didn't want someone who would just give me a list which was my experience with the Orbera ballon which really didn't work for me for multiple reasons. I wanted someone to help me deal with the underlying issues and prepare me for head-hunger, which I know I'll be experiencing.
I'm not telling my parents, which is difficult for me, but the topic of my weight is very VERY loaded with them–especially my mother...and I just really don't want their judgment or input. So I will have my best friend (who's like my sister), my boyfriend, and my brother joining me on surgery day. Actually if anyone has this experience with their parents I'd love to know what their journey with that has been!
I'm really nervous about dying before surgery. I'm excited and nervous for the lifestyle change. I can't believe it's all happening!
I'm considering starting a blog or vlog-the vlogs on YouTube have been sooo helpful and comforting for me, but I don't want people I know to be able to find me lol, I'm thinking "SydSleeved" but not sure if I should use my real name? I'll update if I end up doing one though
Really happy to find this community...so HI!!!!