CurvyMermaid

T aller E thanol N ature Ten months since surgery y'all! Last month brought many deaths into my life, my ex-boyfriend re-entered my life (after a year!) and proposed, the harassing work situation from last year has re-surfaced and I've been house hunting for my first purchase! I suppose at this point in my life, I really thought I'd be married (and that answer was NO) so house hunting alone has been a bit anti-climatic but still an interesting process (especially my first offer....and subsequent rejection! lol). I keep wondering if when I walk into these houses, is it supposed to feel like a 'say-yes-to-the-dress' moment? Taller: Everyone keeps saying I look taller, perhaps it's because I'm not as wide so my height becomes more noticeable. When asked my height I actually go into panic mode because I don't really know anymore. Waaaay back when at the start of the journey, a nurse measured me at 5'9", which caused incredulous laughter because I have always registered my height at 6'0". This nurse was approximately 5' tall and very, very pregnant so I somewhat thought she just couldn't reach my head. Re-measured a few months later (by a shorter gentlemen at my GP office) I was told 5'10.5", which I thought (and friends and family members thought) sounded off too. With all of our technical advancements, is height really still measured by standing against a wall with a metal bar? This becomes increasing important as we calculate BMI. No matter what the number, everyone has been saying I look taller, which I really think means I'm not as wide and therefore people can notice my height! Some photos I found online with folks (or cartoons!) getting their height measured. You'll notice that the first three, the measurer is always taller than the measureree. BUT look at the last one! When did you ever see that in the doctor's office?? Why is that pertinent? Because our doctor's use the BMI to determine what level of tests we have to go through before getting bariatric surgery. Had my height been measured appropriately from the onset, it would have dropped my BMI and I would have needed only half the tests I needed prior to surgery. There was also an incident with a scale within the doctor's office that measured incorrectly, I brought it to the staff's attention and it was like twisting arms to get them to change it! Be an advocate for yourself, even for the silliest items. Some alternatives to coping with alcohol: archery, long beach walks, reading and talking to my therapist/friends/family Ethanol. And by that I really mean alcohol because rather than coping with food, I have definitely been coping with an increased consumption of alcohol, which has dramatically stalled my program these last 2-3 months. I am lucky in that I have no history of alcohol abuse, have a wonderful relationship with my therapist to treat my PTSD, and have developed some alternative strategies that are working thus far. But even without any type of history, this surgery makes you vulnerable to these kinds of issues. I feel like you need to be vigilant and don't be afraid to seek help. In fact, even if you don't think you have a problem but have noticed your 'reward' after a hard day is a glass of wine or beer or drink, ask yourself what's going on and if that's the road you want to go down. I do not feel safe from developing any other 'new' obsession now that food is off the table and I think because I did, I ended up sliding these past few months. I'm trying not to feel so bad about that, to forgive myself and make better decisions for these next few months but focusing one day at a time. NATURE!! Mother nature is taunting us like the saucy wench she is! We'll have a gorgeous day and the next day I'll see my breath. Last night I walked on the beach for about 2 hours and while it started out overcast but still pleasant, by the end it was frigid, foggy and positively spooky. Fresh weather is just around the corner, which will brighten even my saddest moods and I plan to wring every last drop of the day. This upcoming month brings a trip to the west coast to officiate my friend's wedding, the start of my diving for work (brrr!! cold water! 54*F), and a townwide yard sale. While I have helped with family yard sales (well, I'm sure I stood there while my mom did all the work! lol), I've never hosted my own. And, being the researcher I am, I have been reading online about haggle-free yard sales (not socially acceptable), pricing strategies (be ready for hagglers) and not pricing anything strategies (you can make more and its less work). Just like in my Poshmark, I want to do minimal work and make the most money. So far PoshMark has brought in ~$250 for minimal work. I don't think I can get that much out of my garage sale items but my plan is to donate anything that doesn't sell so something is better than nothing! Thoughts from other yard sale junkies? What's this vegetarian eating? I created a recipe I am calling broccoli piccata with fresh lemon, capers, spaghetti squash, broccoli and some red pepper flakes. By straining off the sauce, cooling it, mixing in genepro and then remixing the sauce with the cooked ingredients, I'm able to get some decent protein out of the recipe, while also getting in some important veggies. I also created a veggie egg scramble that did not turn out quite so well.... lol! Planning my meals for the week has been really helpful in making sure I eat appropriately through the week rather than just drinking protein. So let me put it to you all: Is there a more accurate way to measure height? For post-ops, did you struggle with an addiction transfer? For yard sale experts, to price or not to price?!

I love the dapper look @Dtrain84! Congrats to your successes so far and cheers to many, many more scale and non-scale victories!

Awwwww knee high boots, there was a special funeral for you.... I actually used the weight loss (and new smaller calves) to justify purging those boots out anyway as they were looking pretty tired. I also bought a pair of over-the-knee boots that I NEVER would have thought of actually buying pre-WLS. I agree that getting measured is key and plan for a little decrease - which would most likely impact you if you are already at a 0.5 size. For instance, I wear a women's US 11 and now my feet will fit into a 10.5 but the 11 are still just fine.

So sorry to hear of your turd-filled two months and big wishes for a turd-free next two months. We are terrible at caring for ourselves but don't get in the way when loved ones need us! Be kind to yourself Nerdy and get that rest whenever you can. <<hugs>>

SO glad to hear she is progressing so well and relaxing at home.

BB you paint such a beautiful picture! Perhaps next on my travel list should be a Zen temple to practice my skills. I never did archery at camp or in school so this was my first exposure. And my forearm is bruised to prove it! P.S. CONGRATS!! on onederland!!! I love that it kinda snuck up on you and I hope you, your wife and son are still having fun with your svelte self!

I should add that the severe downside from my not eating and just having protein came to fruition this morning. OUCH And I'll be working on getting those veggies in and adding some Miralax until things are back on track. Why did I forget that this was the problem with such an unbalanced diet? Why did it take me so long to remember!!???

Thank you all for the condolences and for not making me feel bad about being so absent @CheeringCJ! The last of the three deaths was my one remaining grandparent, my father's father. My parents are actually here visiting me as this was a trip they booked months ago. It's comforting to be with them again even if I just saw them this past weekend. I am so thrilled to have my brother and his future wife so close! In New Jersey I learned that "Sunday Dinner" is practically a religion around here. Its an Italian thing where the family always gathers each week at the grandparents or parents house for a huge Italian feast. While I will happily leave out the 'feast' part, just having a new family tradition will be nice.

I averaged 29 days and had my period right before surgery. The first month I started after 20 days, again after 14 days, and AGAIN after 21 days. Then I went back to ~27 day cycle and have been regular since. I wouldn't be surprised if your cycle became a little wonky but I would think it should be back within 6 months. I talked with my surgeon and my gynecologist when mine went off course and they were both surprisingly unhelpful. LOL But definitely track it and if the irregularity lasts for an extensive period, I would say go back to your doctor and have some tests done just in case. Better safe than sorry!

You look amazing @CheeringCJ! I think the photos are what will help you continue to get over the body dysmorphia - and see the changes have really stuck! And big congrats on the new job and transition in your year of me!

I'm so sorry @Kio. I hope Sadie is okay and you'll be able to hold her in your arms and comfort her soon. Be kind to yourself for handling such a traumatic experience the best that you could and know that Sadie is lucky to have such a quick acting Mom to get her to help. <<hugs>>

Not an Idiot, Not Eating This update is about 10 days late and my heart isn't in it. I have suffered through three deaths of close family and just got back from the last funeral. I have discovered that when the extreme stresses of life get to me, my coping mechanism of junk food (pizza, chips, etc), has zero appeal. This is great in regards to using my tool to continue on my weight loss journey but food now has zero appeal. I am not an idiot and I know that not eating is stupid but the last thing I feel like doing is figuring out what I should/could/can eat. I've been getting in protein through Genepro unflavored mixed with water so at least my protein and hydration is there. Meh. In an attempt to improve my mood, below are five things that made me smile: 1. What folks warned about during flying (having your extra skin being mistaken as something dangerous during TSA screening) is true. I haven't been felt up this much since high school. 2. My brother is getting married! I normally am lucky to see my brother once per year because he lives overseas but I saw him in December for the holidays and recently for the funerals. I can tell he is so happy, and that makes me happy. 3. As an addition to above, my brother is moving near me! After living the last 20 years on separate sides of the country or in different countries, I'm thrilled he and his wifey-to-be will be 45 minutes away from me. 4. While I haven't felt like I've lost any more noticeable weight (and haven't updated my stats in about a month, nor bought more properly fitting clothes), I apparently look quite a bit different since I saw everyone at Christmas. I have a wonderful, supportive family and they were very lovely in their compliments. 5. I have discovered a new hobby. Well, I have finally started lessons on a hobby that I have wanted to learn for a long time - archery. It's almost meditative and I'm happy to be taking some time to cultivate the interest. I need to get into the TT Forums and start getting caught up on how everyone is doing. I feel almost estranged from my TT folks, when really this is when I should be checking in and receiving/giving support. Hugs to everyone and hugs to your families - enjoy every moment with them!

Work was closed today @CheeringCJ and I was coming out of the library, I slipped and fell onto my hip. WHERE DID MY CUSHION GO???? Not to mention I did so well on saving money for heat last month. I love snow and all but the cancellations are wrecking havoc with my schedule.

Echoing those above me. I was in the 'not noticed by others' category until about 100lbs lost. I got a dramatic haircut and people commented on that - I guess they could tell I looked different, didn't realize it was weight and were excited to pin it on the hair. Or more comfortable pinning it on the hair because weight is such a personal issue. I would suggest not pinning too much of your happiness on the notice of others or clothing, as it gets too upsetting and is out of your control. And, as Kio mentions, I didn't see much change in clothing until 120lbs down or so. Those larger sizes really hide a multitude of sins! Not to say, those aren't great sources of some happiness and victories, just diversify! I made a list of all of the things i hated about being obese and was going to be excited about seeing change post-surgery. Then, as i reviewed that list each month, there were mini-victories all over! If you haven't done measurements and photos, definitely do them! There were times when I didn't lose many lbs but its like my skin shifted or reorganized and I lost cm. You have a great tool now - keep your chin up and focus on those aspects you can control. You've got this!

Congrats to you hubs on the diabetes control, weight loss and dream job! How lovely that things worked out. Crazy busy is just to be expected this time of year in the schools I should think. Don't forget to be good to your self and get that water in!! I just blogged about my own clothes funeral. I actually really love purging my closet because it feels like a way for me to physically shed the old me and welcome a new me. Was it you CJ that posted that you didn't know what your style was? For me, it used to be 'create a style from the size 28/30 clothes you can find' so its a bit different now! @kristinwitha_k I did the same thing getting clothes out of the dryer! Mentally thinking they can't possibly fit when lo' and behold they do! You, @Trish13 and I still need to get together once all this snow business has passed! I lucked out and flew south at the start of the week. I am DONE with the cold. @Cindy Lou Who I attended one pre-surgery and one post-surgery. My surgeon's office requires you attend one as part of the surgery approval process and I found that really skewed the participants. There were not many post- wls so it really wasn't a support group. That being said, if they are free and you already know you enjoy the support group format, why not give it a go? I do wish mine was a better program as it would be so nice to have some local people to meet up with for some face-to-face support.