so geoff is gonna come from boston to philly and kick my tail. i just know it.
i miss you guys. i'm sorry i haven't been on as frequently. things have been pretty poopy for me recently, for lack of a better term. i've had my good and bad days, and it seems the bad days have been outweighing everything else.
so let's start with the bad news, then we'll work our way up.
i've gained weight back, as a surprise to no one. i've been struggling very terribly with my depression since my grandpa passed last year. i have been keeping up with taking my meds and doing therapy, but the eating and keeping consistent with my exercise has still waned. at my lowest i was 173, i'm now back up to 197 and it's freaking me out. i had to go up a dress size and i'm incredibly frustrated with myself. it seems as though it's harder and harder for me to remain consistent. so. there's that.
my job is... meh. it's getting to the point where i feel like i'm in a rock in a hard place. we have new management and i can't stand it. that's all i'll say here, to protect myself. what i will say is that i need to find another job...but getting compensated close to what i make now in another place is going to be difficult.
now on to the good (or better lol) news:
i've been training in pro wrestling LOL. there is this wrestling company that works very closely to the WWE here in NE philly, called chikara. they specialize in campy, luchador-style wrestling. they were offering a 101 course, where you learn the basics and fundamentals of wrestling, for half-off in february. so i figure - why not? i've been a fan for this long, and maybe it will help me get back on track with my fitness. it is, quite literally, the hardest physical training i've ever gone through. i have a love-hate relationship with it lol. sadly, my last course is next sunday, where i'll be evaluated on my progress. i know i'm not gonna pass, but the experience was life-changing and i have so much more respect for the business as a fan, having gone through this. my trainers are amazing, and incredibly patient. i actually just came back from orlando for wrestlemania, and i was able to see a couple of my trainers in action.
one of my trainers from chikara, juan franciso de coronado
in other news: palaceburn is doing wonderful! we just bought a van! we've been working very closely with management to get us more out of town shows (geoff, we're coming to cambridge next month!), so this is a purchase that's been long overdue. we're also currently working on the new EP which is like 90% complete. it will be called "the empress", and we're hoping for a september release. we're also going to be shooting a music video in june, which is super exciting. it will be the first one for this band. we'll be playing brighton bar in long branch, nj, this saturday - so any of my NYC/NJ people... i'd love to see you!
welp. last and not least: the most important news -
i met someone.
meet joseph. he is 31, works in IT - and is, without fail, the most incredible, amazing man that i have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
just look at this handsome chocolate drop. LOOK AT HIM
joseph and i met earlier this year, on twitter (as i have a habit of doing). he's basically my better half. he's also a singer, he's also into metal and wrestling, he is incredibly charming and extremely hilarious. he's driven, passionate... and worships the ground i walk on. he's slowly becoming my best friend...and he and i are so happy together.
and here's the catch. he's british.
joseph spent a lot of time in orlando...he's been back in london for the past 5-6 years. he actually has a daughter, norah, from a previous relationship, who still lives there. (and she's as cute as a button OMFG) he's currently enrolled at the university of westminster to get his bachelor's in video game programming. the plan is, when he graduates, that he'll be moving to philly with me.
being in an LDR is the hardest thing either of us have ever done. this past week was exceptionally hard, especially for him. when all you have is texting and Facetime, it gets rather difficult. but he and i are determined to make it work. this is the most open, understanding relationship i've been in. i feel like i can go to joseph about anything and everything, and won't be judged for it. loving him is like breathing. and i'm so thankful that he's in my life.
i know the last time i was here, i was speaking about ashton, so i know there will be questions in regards to that.
as for ashton:
ol' knucklehead self. at NXT at the amway center, orlando
i saw ash when i went down to orlando for wrestlemania. when joseph and i were in our first stages of getting to know one another, ashton and i had a heart-to-heart. he was honest with me, and told me that he is still struggling with feelings for his ex-fiance', whom he was with for a little over a decade. which, in essence, opened up the gates for me to be able to move on with joseph. both ashton and i still love each other, very much. but i can't be with someone who isn't fully invested in me. i've been there, done that... and i refuse to go down that path again. he understood... and gave his blessing for me to move on. and he's so happy and excited for me. ashton and i remain friends, and will continue to do so.
WELP. i know that was a lot. but it's been a while.
i hope all of you are doing well. i'm glad to see that greer is still slaying in the "what are you wearing?" thread (as she always does).
i will *try* to not be so much of a stranger. no promises. but i will give it a go.
i love you all.