Kim M

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About Kim M

  • Rank
    TT Master
  • Birthday 03/24/1955

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    New York
  • Age


  • Hospital
    Northern Westchester Hospital
  • Start Weight
  • Current Weight
  • Goal Weight
  • Surgery Date
  • Surgery Type
    Vertical Sleeve

Recent Profile Visitors

6,613 profile views
  1. Thanks so much for the support. Keeping myself on the list of people to take care...what a concept. Thank you for the reminder.
  2. I have had to postpone my revision surgery. I was suppose to have it May 31. I am really not bummed out about it as I really don't want it anyway. I keep hoping that this will resolve itself. (wishful thinking) I continue taking 2 PPI, so 4 pills a day. Some days are better than others. I am eating a very bland diet and this will have to due for now. Unfortunately, my 99 year old father is in failing health. After working all week, I am with him on the weekends. My sister does the week days as she does not work. We just got someone in to help and so there is some peace of mind knowing someone is there all the time. I am very conflicted about this and cried a lot about it today. I also found out last week that I cannot go out on FMLA as I already used my 12 weeks for my knee replacement surgery. This would leave my job unprotected. We have merged with a larger hospital and there have been many changes. I just can't take the chance at this time. I thank everyone for the support I have been given. I will continue to stay connected. Love to all.
  3. Kim M

    Are people nicer to you?

    I was so angry at first when the cosmetic lady at Bloomingdales approached me wanted to spray me. Never used to happen before. I blew them off. Maybe my revenge for the years of being invisible. I have noticed that as you begin to get older you also become invisible. Living in a youth centered skinny world. I am glad that there are people out there that are speaking up more about body acceptance. They are usually beautiful and young. It really doesn't bother me much anymore. The gift of getting older and not giving a s%*&!
  4. Kim M

    Brave, brave article by Roxane Gay on WLS

    I had read the author's memoir last year. At the time, I was engaged in the struggle with my own demons that had me returning to food. I could relate to a lot of what she said. I also was conflicted and almost felt guilty having had the surgery. Some days I still feel that way I have to say it has been an ongoing struggle to accept my body at any weight. I had hoped for her that she could find the inner compassion for her hurt self that had her connecting to food and not her real needs. To live free of the ghosts of our past and focus our energy on the present requires deep acceptance that we are lovable and deserving despite our size and our history. WLS will not make you happy. No one thing will make you happy. Can being in a smaller body help you feel better physically. It can for some if there has not been complications. It has afforded me the ability to do things I found too difficult to do in a larger body. For those that are fit and healthy and feel great in the body they are in I applaud them. I truly hope she finds peace. I know it will not be just from losing weight.
  5. I was wondering what is the biggest adjustment that you have had going from sleeve to bypass. I have been so comfortable with my sleeve and never wanted bypass. However, due to GERD I need a revision. Emotionally I am very conflicted. Something I know I have to do but I am having a hard time even thinking of myself as someone with bypass. I have no judgement about it. I just never thought that would be my surgery. I know this is not a weight loss revision but there is still a strong emotional component to it. Anyone else feel this way? Does anyone have anything to share about a positive revision that they really didn't want. TIA
  6. High weight- 310 Surgery weight-266 Were I landed after 15 months-132 and maintained for the most part until 41/2 years out. This is when the regain started and I let it continue. Regained overtime until Oct 2017 ( yes there is some give in the sleeve but my weight was all emotional eating) Current weight- 165 I feel more comfortable at a lower weight. Honestly I don't know at this point if I can maintain 132. I would be happy at about 140-145. I have extra skin that probably accounts for at lest 10 pounds. No plan to have it removed so I live with that. I discussed with the surgeon if he thought the regain contributed to the more severe symptoms of GERD. He said it could as this is a pressure surgery. I am not going to waste my time judging myself. I take responsibility for the regain and know why. Each day I try very hard to give my body what it needs and to eat only when I have physical hunger.
  7. Wait!!! That's what my partner said. LOL Good idea. I heard back from the nutritionist and I have an appointment on Tuesday. After I see her, I can schedule the surgery. As I mentioned, I also want to see him again. I'm on my way.
  8. I called to schedule my surgery today but was told I first need to meet with the nutritionist. I left a message waiting to hear back. I watched a revision surgery from sleeve to bypass last night. I know I watched a sleeve surgery before and was okay. This felt very different. What I also realized is I didn't ask enough questions when I met with my surgeon. I am going to schedule another appointment as I need more information. I know I have to do it, but I feel kind of in the dark about things. Just need to keep posting to manage some of the anxiety I am feeling.
  9. Thanks guys. You are the best. I need to stop reading the stories with complications and focus on all the people that have positive outcomes. I can wait longer but I then will be forced into doing something as it will move into crisis mode. So I am trying desperately to be proactive. I was looking at my schedule and if the surgeon has an opening I think it will be May 26. I will miss one of the grandkids graduations but I can stream it. My surgeon said the recovery time would be about 5 days. This will give me the memorial day weekend so I can save a day off of work. I am not taking any time off and do accrue time off every pay period. Kayak, do you think 5 days is a reasonable recovery time? How long were you out of work? I work out in the community most of the time with psychiatric clients. Oh the protein shakes. I too used Unjury unfavored protein powder with unsweetened coconut milk. I gagged my way through it. I can do it again. My surgeon's office is saying I won't need to do a psychological work up as the surgery is not for weight loss. I will call my insurance company to see what I need to do and submit for approval. I was told by the office staff I will be approved and not to be concerned. I am an employee of another hospital which is an affiliate. So hopefully no out of pocket expense. I will keep everyone updated. I am letting go of the resistance and moving into acceptance. Thanks again to all. Wishing everyone continued success with no complications.
  10. To be honest I do. I was always frightened of the rerouting of the intestines and the possibility of a leak. I have an excellent surgeon who had stopped doing bypass as he felt there were better options without the long term complications. He said he does about 10 sleeve to bypass revisions a year due to GERD. I think when I meet with the nutritionist and am able to be assured that I can eat real food I will feel better too. I don't do shakes and any artificial anything. I know I will need to get my protein in so this scares me. I also will have to be more vigilant about my vitamins. I did start to slack and my last labs were not good. No Vitamin C, low A and low potassium. I already stopped talking Advil, because I used to take so much of it for my knees and back I have mild to moderate kidney damage. Thanks for your support. Anything positive you can tell me about bypass surgery would be welcome.
  11. Thanks for the kick in the @*#. I know I need the surgery. I feel like a cry baby. Only thought I would have to do WLS once. I am terrified of getting the bypass. I know wmillions of people do well without any complications. I am just scared. I will do my research on what to expect and I have to schedule an appointment with the nutritionist. Right now I am back to work full time after being out for 4 months from bilateral knee replacement. I was back to work for 1 day and got sick and ended up in the hospital with sepsis from an infection. This was unrelated to my knee surgery. I have an elderly father, 99, who is in failing health and still living at home. My sister and I have been caring for him as he won't let anyone else in the house. I will probably get to the surgery in June. We have 2 grandkids graduating college and one graduating high school. The youngest one,7, is in her first dance recital. I don't want to miss the good stuff. Glad you are doing so well. I so appreciate the support.
  12. Thanks for your response. I have maxed the meds. I am taking Protonix 80 mg in the am. Than Rantadine 150 mg in the afternoon and again before bed. I also take Gavison in between if I need to. I am basically eating 4 things. Oatmeal for breakfast, chicken soup (homemade) with chicken and carrots and eggs or, salmon for dinner. I eat veggies that are now well cooked. So much for grilling. So if I understand you had GERD previous to your surgery and then had the gastric sleeve? What made the reflux go away? My doctor was concerned about the night time coughing. He left it up for me to decide. I think because all the biopsies were negative and the hernia is not that big. Honestly I am scared about having the bypass. I never wanted to reroute by intestines. He said I would lose some weight the first year, but probably gain some back. I am assuming this will be an entirely different say of eating. I guess I will do a great deal of research and then decide. I could use the help from the bypass people on the boards. Thanks for your support. Hope you are doing well.
  13. I will be 6 years post op in June. I began having an increase in symptoms of GERD in Nov 2017. I met with a gastro and my meds were increased and I am on a very bland diet. Symptoms are a bit better than the medication change but still awful. What concerned him was the coughing at night as he said the acid was going into my bronchial space. The only solution was a revision to bypass. I am not surprised this is his recommendation but I just can't rap my head around this yet. I don't know why having bypass surgery scares my so much. I had gone for a consult 10 years prior to having the gastric sleeve and won't do it. Any anyone share their experience if you have been through this. Also would welcome any information about having bypass surgery and your experience with it. TIA Kim.
  14. Another update. I saw the surgeon today and he reviewed the cat scan and endoscopy results The only solution to eliminate the symptoms is a revision to bypass surgery. I can't say I am surprised but don't feel ready to do it yet. He was concerned about the coughing at night as he said the acid is going into my bronchial tubes. Something like that. Kind of bummed out and don't know what else I can do besides continue on the meds and hope it goes away. Maybe this is magical thinking. Any suggestions would be welcome.
  15. Kim M

    6 Years Ago Today

    So glad you posted. You have been an inspiration to me since the beginning. I will be 6 years out in June. Not doing as well as you with some regain but oh so much better. A truly different life. Congratulations and continue to enjoy the life you have made for yourself.