Kim M

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About Kim M

  • Rank
    TT Master
  • Birthday 03/24/1955

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    New York
  • Age
    64

Information

  • Hospital
    Northern Westchester Hospital
  • Start Weight
    266
  • Current Weight
    157
  • Goal Weight
    140
  • Surgery Date
    06-07-2012
  • Surgery Type
    Vertical Sleeve

Recent Profile Visitors

6,977 profile views
  1. Unfortunately I still have GERD. It is not as severe but I do still need to take medication. Depending on the day 1-2 PPI. I have to be very careful what I ate so as not to trigger an attack. I wish there was another alternative other than bypass as I would have taken it. I have had some real issues with eating, pain and elimination. I was so desperate I had a colonic yesterday. I am doctored out and have taken things into my own hands. You are doing great. It really sounds as though you are in a good space.
  2. Emotional eating. I also convinced myself that I could just have one of something high in carbs. I have been working very hard on the emotional piece with a therapist. I also have incorporated alternative behaviors to help self regulate. I meditate every day and when I am struggling I try and pause and just allow things to be. This has been my most difficult challenge. I also recognize the lies I tell myself about eating sugar. It has no place in my life and recognize the harmful effects it has on my body and how I feel. None of this is easy by any means. I started to track my food a few months ago and I find it helpful. I am trying not to be obsessive but use it as a guide to make adjustments as needed. I hope you can relax more around food while still being accountable. If you don't eat exactly what is on your plan, self compassion is the key. Giving yourself what you need, which is not food, will provide balance. Wishing you the best.
  3. I had gotten to 130 pretty effortless at my initial surgery. I was able to maintain it for about 4 years. I had revision for GERD in November 2018. The weight loss has been slow. I am hoping to get down to 140. If I should reach 130, that would be a bonus. I agree that maintaining is definitely a concern. I say go for it and see how it feels. If you can maintain it without constantly obsessing about what you are eating, then it works. If it becomes a struggle to maintain, allow yourself to settle where your body feels comfortable. Good luck
  4. It sounds like you are in good hands with your doctors. They seem to be working as a team which is unusually these days. I know we have to be our on advocate and sometimes think outside the box. Worry is a wasted emotion. It puts us in waiting mode and takes away all we have in the present moment. You know what has to happen in the event of an emergency so therefore, you have a plan. Hoping you can find some relief for the hypoglycemia. Congratulations on your 2 years and continue to ask for support. Wishing you a magnificent year ahead.
  5. So sorry to hear that despite your efforts your are still suffering. Why do they think you have a twisted bowel? Are you having symptoms? You are brave with all your complications to still prefer this life to to the before surgery. There was someone on the site quite awhile ago who also suffered terribly. I wish I could remember her name. She ended up doing a several of her bypass. She was very ill and had to stop working etc. If I remember, she was recovering slowly. Maybe Cinwa would remember her name. It might be helpful to read her story. Hope the doctors can find a way for you. Sending you much healing energy.
  6. Congratulations. Hope you are doing well. How are you doing with your own plan changes? I know sometimes we are the ones who know what will work best. Wishing you continued good health.
  7. I think there are certain times and places where the grief can come more intensely. You obviously have a love of animals and any dog would be happy to be part of your family. Good luck with the rotator cuff repair and yes I think it is wise to wait. The rehab can take awhile. Keep us updated.
  8. So sorry for your loss. Obviously, a great deal of memories are attached to your grief besides the present moment. You are aware of this, but it doesn't stop the flooding of feelings sometimes. Be kind to yourself. The eating will level out. Give yourself time and please don't judge. Sending hugs.
  9. i started IF about a month ago when my weight loss stalled. I am doing 8-16. It did help me break my stall be it very slowly. I have been researching keto not only for weight loss but also the antii inflammatory benefits. I don't have problems with diabetes or any insulin issues. This week I have been experimenting with keto. I am not reaching my protein or fat macros. I love veggies and at this point that are the only carbs I am eating. My carbs are 13 per day. Some days I meet them or go over a bit. Still staying under 20 if I add organic blueberries i/4 cup. (rarely) I figured I would give it a try and see how I feel. I don't know if I am in ketosis yet. I haven't gotten the strips and don't want to infest in a meter unless I am going to stay keto. I should add I am almost 7 years out of VSG. I had a revision due to GERD in November 2018. I did have some regain but have hit the 100 pound weight loss again. I still would like to get back to a more comfortable weight. Itmight be a bit higher than what I was maintaining before. I have no idea how this fits into the bariatric life. I feels safe about doing even with the revision. I did not have any honeymoon period where the weight just fell off this time around. I have been woking hard and exploring my options. Thanks for raising the question and to everyone that has shared. Honestly, I didn't feel comfortable bringing it up.
  10. Happy Birthday. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
  11. Kim M

    Where it all began

    My daughter is 6 years out in May. Her restriction is good. She did have some regain and is working on getting back to a more comfortable weight. She is doing well. She has PCOS, but her diabetes has not returned and she is quite healthy.
  12. Kim M

    Where it all began

    My restriction did change . I was able to increase the amount of food I could eat. I would eat my protein first, as I still do, I could just eat more. The thing about that is just because I could doesn't mean I should. How many times have we heard that. During my period of regain I also started to eat more carbs which go down more easily, hence you can eat more of them. I do want to add this might be an individual thing. My daughter had surgery 1 year after me and still has very tight restriction, A few bites of protein and she is full. We both had 34F, but with different surgeons. It could be she has a tighter sleeve. I don't know. My regain was not about restriction it was about my food choices. I also was grazing. All emotional eating. It looks like you are doing well. I don't think you can only depend on your sleeve. That will work for the honeymoon period and for some 2years When I went for my 2 year check up, I asked my surgeon about restriction. He told me at that point it was 85% me 15% surgery. You have done great. Get support and discuss any concerns with your surgeon.
  13. Kim M

    Where it all began

    Hi Tracy, I never set a goal weight. My thoughts were when my body has reached its natural weight I will stop losing. This happened at 15 months post op. I had lost half my body weight and was comfortable where my body was. I had gone from 266 to 130-132. I maintained for about 4 years. I started to yo-yo again and the food obsession returned. It was horrible. Even if I wasn't eating I was obsessing. It takes so much energy. I am much kinder to myself now when I start to obsess about food. It's almost laughable as I can hardly eat very much at all. However, the thoughts are sometimes there. I now can ask myself, with interest, what I am afraid of. If the harsh voices emerge , I pay attention and change my inner dialogue. This is a process. The older I get the more I seem to accept myself. Life may have been difficult for a long time, but I don't need to continue to self abuse with food. I am doing better since the revision with GERD. I am now taking only 1-2 PPI a day. I still stay away from spicy foods and anything with a tomato base. I hope to be able to go off all medications some day. Hope you are going well.
  14. Hope you are feeling well. I have been following to see how things are working for you. I am particularly interested in the inflammation piece. I have auto immune disease and so my inflammation levels always run high. I stopped medications years ago due to the horrible side effects. I am sugar free and know that my joints always feels better. Interesting that your ferritin levels run so high and that his is a marker for inflammation for you. I know trying to be our on doctors sometimes is needed. After all, we know what makes us feel best. I am sugar and grain free. I just feel physically better without them both. I had allergy testing years ago and told I was not allergic to anything. I found this amusing as I almost died from an allergic reaction in my life. They never found out what caused it. The testing then came up with a few foods which I had eaten all my life. I have thought of trying Keto but don't know at this point that I could get all the fat in. Do you find it difficult? I have read a lot about it and it does limit protein. Has that been a problem for you? Keep us posted,
  15. I am talking about my regain. i remember the lie I told myself the first time. I could have a blueberry muffin. Just one. However, if it was okay why did I feel I couldn't eat it in front of anyone. And so the lies began. Be it lies of omission to others, and lies to myself that I could stop the next day. Each day I told myself the same lie. I stopped getting on the scale...I knew my pants were getting tight. Then there was the ability to eat more at meals which I did. The grazing on carbs in-between my healthy looking meals. Sometimes I was too sick to eat my healthy meals. I would complain I was gaining weight too ashamed to admit the reason why. I never ate in front of people. The denial was so great that it didn't matter if I ate in front of people, because I was gaining weight. I suppose I could have come here and confessed my insanity, but I felt powerless to stop. I didn't want anyone to know what a failure I had become. I could have done a lot of things but I choose to continue on a self destructive path. The reason I am writing this today is because I walked into that store today and looked at the muffins. I wanted one. I even tried to justify that it would be okay to have one. I thought of the difficult week I have had and that I deserved some comfort. I know sitting here writing this knowing that eating muffins is not self care. Yes it has been a tough week. I had a car accident, I was coming from a wake and I was in physical pain from the accident. All true but all excuses. I am writing this for me but also for all those caught in the cycle of compulsive eating. I do understand your pain and suffering. I don't want you to regain and feel the shame and guilt that I felt. I don't want you to feel the self loathing of feeling powerless. I want to end by saying there is hope. I am in a better place. Today I didn't believe the lie. Today I knew I had choices. Today I choose to pass by the blueberry muffin and get what I needed for my dinner and come home. I choose to come here. I read some posts and replied to give support to others. I then thought I should write this. Maybe it is cathartic for me which is okay. I need help sometimes. I also hope that anyone who is struggling might read this and know that you have a choice. It is not always easy to do what is in our best interest. What i have learned again and again is feelings are just that. I don't have to act on them and make things worse. Sending love to all those in need,,,including myself.