Kim M

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About Kim M

  • Rank
    TT Master
  • Birthday 03/24/1955

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    New York
  • Age


  • Hospital
    Northern Westchester Hospital
  • Start Weight
  • Current Weight
  • Goal Weight
  • Surgery Date
  • Surgery Type
    Vertical Sleeve

Recent Profile Visitors

6,893 profile views
  1. Kim M

    Where it all began

    Hi Tracy, I never set a goal weight. My thoughts were when my body has reached its natural weight I will stop losing. This happened at 15 months post op. I had lost half my body weight and was comfortable where my body was. I had gone from 266 to 130-132. I maintained for about 4 years. I started to yo-yo again and the food obsession returned. It was horrible. Even if I wasn't eating I was obsessing. It takes so much energy. I am much kinder to myself now when I start to obsess about food. It's almost laughable as I can hardly eat very much at all. However, the thoughts are sometimes there. I now can ask myself, with interest, what I am afraid of. If the harsh voices emerge , I pay attention and change my inner dialogue. This is a process. The older I get the more I seem to accept myself. Life may have been difficult for a long time, but I don't need to continue to self abuse with food. I am doing better since the revision with GERD. I am now taking only 1-2 PPI a day. I still stay away from spicy foods and anything with a tomato base. I hope to be able to go off all medications some day. Hope you are going well.
  2. Hope you are feeling well. I have been following to see how things are working for you. I am particularly interested in the inflammation piece. I have auto immune disease and so my inflammation levels always run high. I stopped medications years ago due to the horrible side effects. I am sugar free and know that my joints always feels better. Interesting that your ferritin levels run so high and that his is a marker for inflammation for you. I know trying to be our on doctors sometimes is needed. After all, we know what makes us feel best. I am sugar and grain free. I just feel physically better without them both. I had allergy testing years ago and told I was not allergic to anything. I found this amusing as I almost died from an allergic reaction in my life. They never found out what caused it. The testing then came up with a few foods which I had eaten all my life. I have thought of trying Keto but don't know at this point that I could get all the fat in. Do you find it difficult? I have read a lot about it and it does limit protein. Has that been a problem for you? Keep us posted,
  3. I am talking about my regain. i remember the lie I told myself the first time. I could have a blueberry muffin. Just one. However, if it was okay why did I feel I couldn't eat it in front of anyone. And so the lies began. Be it lies of omission to others, and lies to myself that I could stop the next day. Each day I told myself the same lie. I stopped getting on the scale...I knew my pants were getting tight. Then there was the ability to eat more at meals which I did. The grazing on carbs in-between my healthy looking meals. Sometimes I was too sick to eat my healthy meals. I would complain I was gaining weight too ashamed to admit the reason why. I never ate in front of people. The denial was so great that it didn't matter if I ate in front of people, because I was gaining weight. I suppose I could have come here and confessed my insanity, but I felt powerless to stop. I didn't want anyone to know what a failure I had become. I could have done a lot of things but I choose to continue on a self destructive path. The reason I am writing this today is because I walked into that store today and looked at the muffins. I wanted one. I even tried to justify that it would be okay to have one. I thought of the difficult week I have had and that I deserved some comfort. I know sitting here writing this knowing that eating muffins is not self care. Yes it has been a tough week. I had a car accident, I was coming from a wake and I was in physical pain from the accident. All true but all excuses. I am writing this for me but also for all those caught in the cycle of compulsive eating. I do understand your pain and suffering. I don't want you to regain and feel the shame and guilt that I felt. I don't want you to feel the self loathing of feeling powerless. I want to end by saying there is hope. I am in a better place. Today I didn't believe the lie. Today I knew I had choices. Today I choose to pass by the blueberry muffin and get what I needed for my dinner and come home. I choose to come here. I read some posts and replied to give support to others. I then thought I should write this. Maybe it is cathartic for me which is okay. I need help sometimes. I also hope that anyone who is struggling might read this and know that you have a choice. It is not always easy to do what is in our best interest. What i have learned again and again is feelings are just that. I don't have to act on them and make things worse. Sending love to all those in need,,,including myself.
  4. Glad to hear you are doing well. Keep walking. I had my revision on November 1. I will say I have gone through numerous changes in terms of what I could handle with food. The GERD is much better but not totally gone yet. I am hoping that eventually I will be off all meds. I have lost 31 pounds. Not like an original surgery but that is okay. I have restriction and the rest is up to me.
  5. After my bilateral knee replacement I did lose 30 pounds. I think between the pain meds and pain I just didn't eat. This is before my revision surgery. My appetite came back after I was off the worries. I weaned myself down from 4 to 3 then 2 and then off. I used to take one before p/t and at night. For some reason the pain was always worse at night. My surgeon told me that was normal. You might dip a little low but I wouldn't worry our weight always seems to find us. Eat watch you can and maybe some things that are high calorie since you are eating so little. Speedy Recovery.
  6. It looks good Trish. So glad the physical therapy is getting better. That means you're healing. It will take time but you will never regret having it done.
  7. Kim M

    On my way!!

    Thinking of you and hope you are doing well.
  8. My symptoms are a bit better. No tx. I met with the gastro and it was a frustrating experience. I was given a medication that was supposed to be sublingual for when the spasms come strong. I picked it up at the drug store. When I got home, it was pills that I was to take with a full glass of water. I called the pharmacist and was told that is what the doctor had ordered. They could not refund it as it had already gone through my insurance. My insurance will not cover the same medication in another form for another 30 days. So basically a waste of time and money, He wants me to have the motility test and I have asked my HR department to make an exception as I would have to travel to the city to get the test as there is no one in my area that does it that accepts my insurance. so in a holding pattern. I would go to the city except I have no time to take off as I was out so long from the surgery. Honestly, I am doctored out. Thanks for thinking of me.
  9. Kim M

    Slider foods

    I think the empty feeling has more to do with the GERD. That kind of feeling like put something in my stomach to soak up some acid. I am quite the opposite when it comes to meals. I do 2 or 3 a day and sometimes a late afternoon snack if I don't expect to eat dinner until later that evening. Do take advantage of the no hunger time. Being 6 1/2 years post op I can tell you it didn't last for me. Although it does for some.. Since my revision, I don't eat much but I do have the desire that is very different than my first surgery. Microwave eggs. I don't know but I am willing to try. Thanks for the suggestion. I know that some do the egg muffins that they freeze. I don't have that much interest in preparing food at this point. I do make lunch for the week and a quick dinner which is usually fish and a veggie. I will cook for my partner . Maybe because his food is more interesting and I can be more creative.
  10. I have not heard of the above medication. I am not on anything for the IBS. I will defiantly ask the doctor next week. Thanks for the information.
  11. Thanks so much for your support. Everything has stopped for now. I am weak and it is hard to get anything down. I am focusing on liquids. I am going to schedule an appointment with the GI doc next week. Hoping for something to help. Feeling a bit defeated but trying to stay positive.
  12. I had no idea the wait was so long. I am grateful that I have insurance that has covered my last 3 major surgeries. I can no longer see the surgeon that did my knee replacements due to the high deductible. Even with insurance I have come out of pocket for almost 10,000 for the last 2 years. I just can't do it anymore. My therapist, chiropractic and acupuncturist are all out of pocket. I can't even image how hard it must be to know there is a surgery that can help you and have to wait so long. Stay well.
  13. Kim M

    Slider foods

    So true. the crackers go down really easily and before you know it 2 becomes 4 and so on. Does anyone have this issue with protein shakes? I have one in the morning to try and get a jumpstart on my protein. I really do not feel full. I use unsweetened almond mild and unflavored protein with chia and flax seeds. I have also begun to add a piece of pear for texture and fiber. I am usually quite busy in the mornings at work so I can ignore the empty feeling. Just wondering as I know a number of people start their day with a shake. If I do an egg with a veggie, I feel full. Just can't do it during the week as I don't eat until about 9 or so and I am already at work. Thanks for the reminder.
  14. Are you revisioning to DS or bypass? My revision was from VSG to Bypass due to severe GERD. I would not have had a revision if not for this. My alternative would have been to continue to take the risk that the GERD would have caused serious problems with my esophagus. Looking back 6 1/2 years I do not regret having VSG. As I said, I would not have had a revision if not for the heath issues. Continue to take care of yourself as this will put you in the best place for another surgery. Keep us updated and reach out for support.