cindynels

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    833
  • Joined

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About cindynels

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 01/03/1972

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Minnesota
  • Age
    47

Information

  • Surgeon
    Dr. Verboonen
  • Hospital
    Obesity Goodbye Clinic
  • Height (ft-in)
    5-06
  • Start Weight
    283
  • Goal Weight
    140
  • Body Mass Index (BMI)
    45.7
  • Surgery Date
    10/7/19
  • Surgery Type
    Revision

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. I had gastric bypass in 2012 and lost 125 pounds. I felt great and I was happier than I had been in years. I swore I would not gain back the weight; I just couldn’t go back to a body in which I felt trapped. Well, life happened and I hadn’t established healthy eating habits. As my life started to spiral out of control I turned to food for comfort. I started smoking and drinking soda again, and as hard as I tried to get back on track the worse things got. Then I found out my dad had cancer, and I felt the bottom drop out of my world. I was struggling with personal issues as well as my dad’s terminal diagnosis and the brutal progression of his illness. I didn’t have the drive, or willpower, or motivation, or whatever it is you need to get back on track. And trust me, I exhausted all avenues, even going back to my surgeon to see if my pouch had stretched. I was told to, “Get back to the basics” which, to me, is the bariatric equivalence of “just diet and exercise.” Easier said than done, especially when underlying issues haven’t been addressed. Fast forward to now, and I’ve gained back all my weight plus 20 pounds. I have a bulging disc in my back and I’m struggling to do even basic daily tasks. My depression and anxiety have gotten progressively worse, and I don’t like to go out in public for fear that I will run into someone that saw me at my thinnest. I am in constant fear of being judged because I wasn’t able to maintain my loss after going to the extreme of weight loss surgery. But I’ve been given a second chance. I’m having an RNY revision surgery in Mexico on October 7th. I finally feel hopeful that I don’t have to live like this anymore. I’m going to therapy to address my issues and I’m making changes right now so that I go into this surgery feeling strong. I can clearly identify why I failed at my first weight loss surgery: (1) I didn’t address the underlying issues that lead me to comfort eat, (2) I didn’t rely on God to get me through those moments (or hours!) when I had the internal battle of desperately wanting to eat yet desperately wanting NOT to eat, (3) I started drinking soda again, and (4) I started smoking again. I know there are more, but those are by far the 4 biggest reasons why I wasn’t successful. I made excuses, told myself I could have just one (which led to two, then three until it was all the time), told myself I was going through a rough time and I deserved it. In reality, I wasn’t going through any more than anyone else has at different points in their lives. I know surgery in Mexico seems sketchy to some, I get that. I was very skeptical of it myself before I started doing my research, and believe me, I did my research. It became a full time job for a while. I chose a surgeon that has recognized accreditations and medical memberships, he has an A+ rating with the Better Business Bureau, 20+ years experience, and has very positive reviews on multiple sites. My insurance company doesn’t cover revisions for people who gain the weight back because of what and how much they are eating. I can’t claim my RNY was unsuccessful because I did lose the weight. I felt my only option was medical tourism. Im just reaching out so I can connect with people who understand. If you made it this far, thank you for listening.
  2. I am going to have a revision surgery in Mexico and was wondering if anybody has gone to either Dr. Sarinana at Hospital de la Familia or Dr. Huacuz from Certified Bariatric Surgeons. I would love to hear about your experience!
  3. Maybe someday I will come up with a more original title for my blog entries, but it will have to suffice for today. Day two started off really strong. By mid-day I was drained of all energy and felt like I was moving under water. And I had a terrible headache. On top of that I got some bad news about my dad, who is nearing the end stages of terminal cancer. When my sister texted that her dog is very ill and they might have to put her down, I lost every ounce of willpower I had in me. When I got home from school (actually work but I'm a teacher so I always refer to it as school) I was feeling rotten so I ate rice cakes. I know that sounds harmless, but they were flavored rice cakes and I downed two and a half 3.5 ounce bags over the course of the next hour and a half. The reason I am able to do that is because I drink while I eat so the chewed up food just goes right through my stomach. Throughout the rest of the evening I ate a piece of pizza and a half a bag of granola. Past history would have me wallowing in self pity and feeling like a weak-minded sloth! That type of thinking is just going to perpetuate these eating habits, so I am going to make a conscious choice to think about the positive. I did manage to go 41 hours on all liquids, which is more than I have done in quite some time. When I did eat, it wasn't good, but I could have done much worse. And I exercised. Now, I could use feeling crappy, my dad, and my sister's dog as reasons for falling off the wagon. But here's the thing, if I continue to justify my unhealthy eating because of what is going on in my life, I will never get back to a healthy lifestyle. I am going to my parents this weekend to help my dad transition back home after spending almost a month in the hospital. It is going to be a very emotionally charged weekend, and in the spirit of honesty, I can't say that I'm going to eat healthy or stick to my plan. With that said I am going to make an effort to do things that will continue to pull me in the right direction. I am going to continue blogging and checking into thinner times. I am going to go for walks (they live on a lake in the middle of the woods so it's absolutely beautiful) and I'm going to strive to make good food choices. I am not going to give up on this.
  4. Yesterday was my first day of starting over and getting back to the basics. I'm happy to say it was a success! I am doing the five day pouch test, and the first two days are all liquid. I was able to stick to the plan and I didn't feel like I was starving or about to have a panic attack because I couldn't eat food. I had 83 grams of protein and stuck to just under 800 calories. I even got in some exercise. I did the treadmill and elliptical for a total of 20 minutes. I'm into my second day of liquids, and so far it's going smoothly. I'm seriously considering continuing with the all liquids for a while until all the sugar and junk are out of my body and my cravings subside a bit. I remember after I first had surgery and I was eating high in protein, low in carbs and no "junk" food my cravings has subsided and sticking to the plan wasn't all that difficult. I want to get back to that place. I read a blog called 300 Pounds Down and in one of her posts she wrote, "For there is nothing more truly miserable than to spend your every waking moment resisting the urge to eat. From dawn to dusk. To have it rule your mind." This is exactly how I feel every day. I am so tired of thoughts of food and my weight controlling my mind. However, I know this doesn't have to be a life sentence. I am going to keep up this blog (even if nobody reads it:) as a means of staying connected to this community and holding myself accountable. Every little thing helps!
  5. cindynels

    Starting Over

    I had my RNY on October 18, 2012. By seven months out from surgery I had lost 126 pounds, exceeding my goal weight. I absolutely loved how I looked and felt, and I vowed I would not gain the weight back. Fast forward 3.5 years and I have gained back over half the weight. I could spout off every excuse in the book, some of them valid, but they would be just that--excuses. I regained the weight because I ignored every instruction given to me and reverted back to old eating patterns. I started drinking soda in enormous quantities. I reintroduced simple carbs back into my diet and let protein fall by the wayside. I began bingeing on "junk" food before bed again. And I stopped taking my vitamins. I could question why me or how did I let this happen, or I could rattle on about how frustrated and miserable I am, but where is that going to get me? Actually, if I'm being totally honest, I have been doing the aforementioned for quite some time and look where it has gotten me! It's time to get off my pity pot, pull up my big girl panties and start over. I've decided to go back to the basic, back to what worked for me in the beginning. I'm starting with the five day pouch test in attempt to rid my body of the carbs that have been weighing it down, pardon the pun. The first two days are full liquids, so I went and got my favorite protein powder. I've set the following goals for myself, and I am adding them here in an attempt to hold myself accountable. goal #1: Complete the 5DPT. goal #2: Increase exercise with a long term goal of 30-45 minutes a day. goal #3: Decrease soda consumption with a long term goal of eliminating it completely. So that I don't overwhelm myself right out of the gate, I'm going to start with those three goals. I'm terrified I'm going fail yet again, so I am going to try to stay as involved with thinner times as I can. One thing I'm sure of is I'm not going to give up!
  6. You look AH-MAZING! I hope you don't mind my saying this, but I'm so jealous that you still have boobs! I went from a D to an A(: But truly you do look stunning!
  7. I used to question why some people on TT seemed to drop off the face of the earth as they approached their one year surgiversary. TT was critical to my success in the first several months; Why would I ever stop coming around?? Of course now I'm the hypocrite and am one of those people:( Sadly I know exactly why it happens. Anyway, my question is this, how many calories does your clinic recommend to maintain your weight loss? Mine recommends 800-1000, but I was losing an average of three pounds a week at that caloric intake. I would love to lose another 5-10 pounds, but then I need to be done.
  8. Thanks so much for the comments everybody! I'm happy with the weight I'm at...now I have to work on maintaining.
  9. I bounce between 137-142, which makes me nervous too. As long as I don't go over that I'll be fine:)
  10. I'm done losing. My goal was 140 and I reached that around 7 months I think:)
  11. I can't believe it's already been a year since I had my surgery. The before picture is my 2012 school picture. The after was taken earlier this month. This is the first time I've tried to do a side by side, so I hope it works!
  12. I've been having problems lately too. It's gotten to the point where I have to admit to people that I've forgotten about something. The worst is at home...I'll run upstairs to get two things and I'm lucky if I come down with one!
  13. I'm almost a year out and I think my hair loss is finally starting to slow down. I started this process with super thick hair, and now I can't believe how thin it is. The diameter of my ponytail is about half what it used to be!
  14. You look amazing!!! What an incredible job you've done!
  15. My repeat of day 3 was a success! I have a plan for tomorrow while I'm at the state fair so that I can stick to the plan. I plan on doing the 5DPT again next week. I want to see how I do when I have no obstacles in my way.