• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


1 Follower

About sweetnsassy

  • Rank
    Senior Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Age


  • Surgeon
    Dr. Weiss
  • Hospital
    Central Baptist Hospital
  • Height (ft-in)
  • Surgery Date
  • Surgery Type

Recent Profile Visitors

5,349 profile views
  1. Husband no longer supports WLS

    Little update on me....the divorce is final and done with. I've moved out, my kids are in a new school, I bought a car, started a fabulous new job (letter carrier for the USPS - great exercise!), and am busy with my new life. Okay, so right now I am so busy working (6 days a week, gone from the house about 12 hrs or so, a day) and figuring out how to be a single mom to 3 young kids, that I don't really have time for anything else. I have decided to dedicate 2014 to pampering myself, pursuing my goals and hobbies, and specifically to refrain from dating. I am giving myself a break from men! I need some "me" time! I am down in the 280's now, and have decided to start riding again. Tomorrow I go look at a local barn, to move my mare to, so I can start working with her again, and give my kids riding lessons. I also have arranged for some shooting lessons with a local female shooting instructor. She has become a fast friend, and I am excited at the prospect of hanging out with her, learning more about shooting, and getting in some regular practice. So, yes, life is good. God has provided for me in amazing ways, and I am excited about the future in store for me. If this whole journey has taught me anything, its that I am not willing to "settle" anymore. Not in my health (suffering from obesity), not in my relationships (accepting abusive men because I didn't feel I deserved better), not my career (afraid to step out and become financially independent), not life in general. I am done wasting my life, done being fat, being sad, being miserable, and being unloved - by myself or others. I deserve the dignity and respect I give to others, for myself as well. I deserve to be happy, if I am willing to work at it and earn it. And I am doing exactly that, every day. So again, life is good!
  2. Pity-Party

    Ugh, I am soooo in the diet dog-house! The last few days I kinda went off the reservation, food wise. I am avoiding the scale (I know it's bad, why torture myself?) till I have a few days of clean eating back under my belt. So what happened? Stress. I still am not handling stress the way I should. I mean, I have been doing pretty damn good, but Thursday I lost it. -I am about 7wks out from my divorce being final, living with my husband, that's a nightmare in and of itself -I am trying to find a job - have one offer but its 1 day a week...yeah, I need to find more, I have several applications in, but its still in the air -I will need to be moving. But where to will depend on the job, so again, I can't nail that down yet. I have to move, but I can't find a place yet. -I will probably end up moving my kids to a new school. Yippie, cause I didn't have enough mommy-guilt already *sigh* -I will have to find some kind of reliable and safe childcare for my 3 kids, and you can bet my ex wont lift a finger to be helpful. -My best friend had a very large and fast growing cancerous tumor removed on Thursday. Her husbands first wife died of cancer. Now she has it. Nuff said. -My other close girlfriends Mom is dying, plus her grandbaby twins were born at like 21 weeks and are critical. She has called sobbing, and I can't blame her at all. So I have been trying to be strong for her, not wanting to "dump" my life on her. -Oh, and I have had my IUD in for a few weeks now, and I know I was PMS-ing this week. My body/hormones are all jacked up, im breaking out, cramping, etc, its going to take a while for this to level out. But I have no close family here. And like I said, my close friends are neck deep in their own life crisis's right now. So I am stressed the hells-bells out. I have another friend, and they actually told me that I have been "kind of clingly the last few days", and honestly, if I could have smacked them over the phone I would have. Clingy? My life is a freaking disaster, I am trying to hang on and make this work, so excuse the hell out of me if I reached out to you. Don't tell me "that's what friends are for" on one hand, and then in the middle of this life-$hit storm tell me that I am being clingy. I just needed someone to listen and care, is that so freaking hard? So, I did myself a favor and ate too much. Smart, I know. Today is back to Atkins phase one. Tomorrow is back to shakes and 1 meal. I'm not giving up. That's not even an option. I'm just tired. Worn down emotionally and mentally. I guess I get butt-hurt and frustrated because I feel like I am there for so many people in my life, but when things go to hell in a hand basket, who is there for me? It feels an awful lot like NO ONE! (In my "real" life) Welcome to my pity-party, BYOW (water, kids, no booze).
  3. 10/2

    314 again today. I am fine with that. I know a lot of people are better off only weighing in once a week, or whatever. I guess for me, knowing myself the way I do, weighing in daily keeps me honest. Because I am one of those people who will lie to myself, that I don't look "that bad", that I don't weigh "that much", and allow myself to slack off....and then wake up 50lbs heavier. And one thing I plan to do, which I think will be especially helpful when the scale isnt moving, is to track my calorie deficit. So even if the scale lies and says I gained xyz lbs, I will KNOW that, no, actually over the course of the day/week/etc, that I BURNED xyz, and only ate xyz, so overall I am negative however many calories, which will eventually show up on the scale, or my jeans, whichever Also, I think is long-term good for me to used to just seeing how my weight does fluctuate, in a perfectly healthy, normal sort of way. Yes, there will be days that for a million different reasons, the scale could be up a few pounds. Instead of avoiding the scale, I want to be able to get to a place mentally where I can maturely handle that, accept it, and move on. Not hide from the scale when I am in denial, not a slave to the scale either. Just okay with it, able to deal with what is, and continue on. Balance is the hardest thing in life, in pretty much any area. At least for me. But I think daily weigh ins (not 3-4x a day, which I have done in the past) keep me honest, and moving forward. That being said, I had a hot steaming cup of herbal chicken broth last night, and it really hit the spot! This whole change in the weather is effecting me more than I had anticipated. I didn't feel like herbal tea, and I don't drink coffee at night, but I wanted a nice hot drink. The pathetic thing is that I actually grew up in a very cold part of the country, northern Wisconsin. And now I am a total cold-weather-wuss, lol. I may never truly be a southerner, but I apparently tolerate cold like one . At least I can drive in snow and ice better than one, lol. Kind of a lazy day today. My walk was good this morning, except that it's getting so dark outside now, and its hard to drag my butt out there at dark-thirty AM! But, I still need to get my kids to the bus, so, I don't really have a choice. But other than a little bit of laundry, it will be a quiet day here, which is good. I plan to work on some crocheting (making a blanket for a friend), piddle around online some, find a good stuffed zucchini recipe for tomorrow....and just take it easy. Lord knows the next several months will be insanely busy for me, I will enjoy this "free time" while I can! Have a fabulous day, everyone!
  4. Finally its happened to me :)

    People who don't have kids sometimes get irritated if you say that you don't truly know what love is until you have a child.....but it's true! Your heart walks around outside your body, so the quote goes. I'm so happy for you!
  5. Going Back Down

    Happy October 1 everyone! So I was back down to 314 today. Strange, but okay. Must have been the salt. Or I was right about the voodoo. I am excited about the NSV progress I am making. My sz 26 jeans are loose, but the 24s are still too snug. But hey, that's progress! The only problem is that I do notice I am freezing cold all the time now. I find myself digging out my fuzzy socks more often, or slippers, and I am wearing my thick fuzzy robe more too, just because I seem to always be chilled. Or I end up slipping on my jacket, even inside the house. Everyone else is fine, but I am cold. I find myself fantasizing about heated keyboards, lol. And my hair continues to fall out en mass. I wish it would stop, and I know it eventually will. But in the mean time I worry I will end up bald. Life is good. I feel strong. I feel confident. I am starting to feel attractive again. I feel more fit and flexible. I can cross my legs now. I am starting to see knees and collarbones. I did a short stint of jogging during my walk today. Felt a little awkward, but exhilarating at the same time. I am hoping by Nov 1 I will have lost enough weight (shooting for 285) that I can safely jog (3 days a week), without risking my joints. I can tell that I am getting into the "zone" now, where the weight loss will be more noticeable. At first, when I was over 400lbs, when I lost 20-30 lbs, it really wasn't that obvious. But now, at a lower weight, 20-30 lbs is much more noticeably, both in how I look and feel. Lots to be happy about!
  6. Dang girl! Nice job!!!
  7. Mirena

    I actually had the Mirena put in on the 20th of this month. I go back this Wednesday so they can check the placement. I had it put in because I was having 2 and 3 HEAVY periods a month. Like, heavy as in the kind of bleeding a woman has after delivery. I have a very abnormally thick lining though, and a large uterus. Lucky me. So, after trying the pill, and it not helping much, they decided to give this a shot. I would have had the ablation done, but my insurance runs out before they could get it done. So, they put in in on the 20th, (I have had 3 kids, and it still hurt like a @#$%&) and that SAME DAY my bleeding stopped. I have only had the tiniest bit of spotting since. Teeny tiny, like just mere drops. Nothing like before where I worried if I got a bloody nose or cut myself shaving I would need a darn blood transfusion! I hope it helps with my monster PMS, but mostly I did it for the bleeding. When I started my third super heavy period in 28 days, I wanted to just cry. But so far, it's been great!
  8. Weight Gain Voodoo - 4lbs!

    I am up to 317 this morning. I gained 4lbs overnight. And do you want to know why? Because after a week of shakes (and killer weight loss, I admit), I had a salad, with chicken breast, mushrooms, olives, pickles, cheese, and dressing. I couldn't eat all of it, so the dog got the last of it. But are not talking huge amounts of food here. The dressing was ranch - no carbs. There are not that damn many carbs in lettuce, chicken, mushrooms, olives, pickles, cheese or dressing. So where the hell did 4lbs come from? Well, Im guessing part of it has to be salt, from the olives and pickles. Or voodoo. It could be that. I feel like im grasping at straws here. And I feel cheated. And mostly I feel pissed. Like, "I can't even have a flipping salad without GAINING weight?" WTH!!!!!!!!!!! The rest of the day all I had had was my shakes, vitamins, coffee, the regular stuff. Nothing that would have made me gain. I guess it scares me, and pisses me off. Yes, when I do nothing but shakes (Isopure, zero carbs) I can lose weight like no bodies business. But I add in the tiniest bit of carbs (there are some small amounts in the chicken, lettuce, mushrooms, dill pickle chips, olives, cheese and dressing I had as a salad last night) and BOOM, I turn into the freaking Michelin man. How the hell will I ever move to maintenance, once I do get down to my goal weight? Yesterday proved that even if I have shakes in the morning and noon, and then a sensible salad for dinner, I STILL GAIN #(*&%$ WEIGHT!!!!! How in the heck do you make that work? So I am angry today. And going back to the shakes with a vengeance. Screw the salad, the next time I want to gain 4lbs overnight, I'll know what to do! And that also makes me think that maybe I really did gain 15lbs of water weight from the few measly carbs I had on the road trip. There is carb sensitive, and then there is me - smell a carb, look at a carb, and gain 10 freaking pounds. Yes, I am having a pity party! Sure, I know that some of what I gained was the volume of the food itself, blah, blah, blah. And the rest is probably water retention from the salt. But good golly. That is just a vicious slap to the face. Sometimes I really feel like my body hates me.
  9. Jean sizes and NSV

    I discovered this today too. I had finally had to retire a pair of 28s, they were just too big. But I had a pair of 26s hanging up, that I was waiting to start wearing. Well, I guess I should have tried them on a few weeks ago, because they are actually kinda big too. The 24's are tight, but the 26s are big. Oye. I won't get much wear out of them. And since I have like 8 pairs of the 24s, I went ahead and tried on several of them, just to see how they fit. I will be in them by the end of the month, probably mid month. So. Yeah. I have all these clothes that I have saved (and moved like 7x) for YEARS. And now I will only be able to wear them a few weeks, before they are too big? Does this seem crazy, and hilarious, and annoying to anyone else?
  10. 313!

    313 today. 110lbs down, since April 1st. I am flabbergasted. I really am. I cannot get over how much water I must have been holding. And the thing is, it's not like I went on a crazy carb binge. I had, like, two sandwiches (actually, one was a whole wheat wrap), in the course of a day, a small little child size serving of crackers.....and an apple...im thinking....over the course of that entire trip, I didn't actually eat much that was horrible, or that much total. Oh, I did have two fruit bars. And immediately decided that we can't keep blueberry fruit bars in the house, they smell and taste like danish, and omg where they good! Maybe the timing just coincided with a "whoosh" anyway, I guess that's probable. It just amazes me how I can go 2-3-4 weeks without any weight loss, and then in a week or two lose 20lbs. That is nuts! Regardless. I am freaking THRILLED! I really think I could hit 285 by Halloween. Spooky That puts me in 20/22 territory, and let me tell you, I already have several pairs of pants, and a box of tops just ready to go! Bring it on!!! Sometimes I have to stop and step back and just be amazed at myself. I am really doing this. Finally. The life I always felt was out there waiting for me, is HERE! Because I have decided to change my life, and make it so. The empowerment there is heady! And yes, I am calming down after yesterdays insurance incident. I am still upset, of course. But I am okay. A lot more okay than I was 16 hrs ago. God protected me more than I even knew! That's always a good thing. I have corrected the situation, and life goes on.
  11. Spitting Mad!

    I am so upset right now.....omg, I am shaking and everything. I have been working on getting my new cars title, registration, and insurance taken care of. And I finally figured out why I have been getting all these high insurance quotes. Because I have NOT been on a policy the last two years. Like my husband told me I was. Do you understand what I am saying? I have been driving my kids around, uninsured. I have rented cars and NOT purchased the rentals insurance, because he assured me that his policy included car rentals. I have PAID THE DAMN BILL many, many times. And I am not even on the flipping policy! So, my premiums are going to be high, because I am basically a "new", "uninsured" driver!!! His mother is on his policy. But not me. And it's not like since we filed for divorce he bumped me from his policy, NO, I had the insurance guy verify, I WAS NEVER, EVER, EVER on the policy at all. Even though he told me I was. That he had added me on there. Why the hell would he let me drive his car, with OUR BABY without insurance? #%$ is wrong with him?!!! I drove 1700 miles two weeks ago. Before that I have done several 8-ish hour road times, probably 10x in the last 2 yrs. And I didn't have auto insurance. I ended my policy when we got together, because he said he added me to his. I had sold my SUV so it was just his car, so I didn't bother getting a new policy of my own. Oh my gosh! So besides the fact that I will have higher payments for the first 6 months, I am just reeling at the level of total irresponsibility. I cannot #(*&%$ believe that he lied to me about this. It doesn't even make sense! What is the upside of not having coverage on me? It was his car I was driving! I am so pissed....I can't eat. My stomach is like lead. THANK GOD I didn't have any accidents or incidents. Wow.....this is going to take me a while to truly process. I am just shocked. You know what kills me? He used to sell insurance. Yeah. Nice, eh?! Oh, and I am 315 as of this morning
  12. Unwanted attention

    Thank you for the perspective, TurnThePage. I dread the idea....but I know you are right.
  13. am i the only one awake this late?

    Yeah, not even close, sweetheart lol. April 1 of this year I was 423. Yeah. And at some point in January I had been 427. I know I was even bigger a few times, but I refused to get on a scale. And I am only one inch taller than you. Today I was 315. If you want it bad enough, you can make it happen. It's not the biggest dog in the fight, or the smartest, or anything else really, other than the one that wants it the most. Determination, perseverance, accepting that it will be HARD but deciding to do it anyway, that is 99.9% of this whole thing. And you get to decide those factors. YOU ARE IN CONTROL! Not genetics, or history, or any outside circumstance. No body can take this from you, and no body can do it for you either. This is just you. Ultimately, this is completely in YOUR control. Make it happen. Because YOU ARE WORTH IT!
  14. Unwanted attention

    I know this isn't at all like what you have had to endure, but my kids bus driver assistant guy has gotten progressively "friendlier" over the last several weeks, and I am really starting to dread going to the bus. It started out just "hey girl, what's up?" or "how are you today", which is fine I guess, and then on to "what are you cooking for dinner" and something to the effect of him coming over for dinner. Then the other day he told me that I've "got it goin' on". Uh, okay. I am usually in work out clothes, no makeup, my hair shoved into a ball cap, my ear buds on, looking like crap and just trying to get my kids on or off the bus, and get on with my day. Because my daughter is in in preschool I have to sign her on and off the bus every day. So I can't really avoid him. I don't make eye contact, and I don't really respond much. You would think he would take the hint.
  15. Head-Case

    Good news, bad news, good news today. Good news, I am down to 316 this morning. Yeah, that's 15lbs since Monday. Wow, okay, so that road-trip cheating threw me off even worse than I had realized. The bad news, I still have a HORRIBLE headache. The splitting kind, where light hurts, sound hurts, and you just want to crawl in a dark, silent hole. Ha, with three small children, that is soooo not happening. I felt a tiny bit better today for about two hours, after my coffee. But it came back. Grr. And the cravings are tough today as well. The yummy foods I have made for my family are torturing me! My kids popcorn, my soon-to-be-ex husbands nachos, chips, danishes, sweet rolls, oh yeah, he is a bit passive aggressive about me losing weight. Because everyone knows that skinny women are stuck up bitches. Uh, okay. Anyway, I am STAYING STRONG! EMBRACING THE SUCK! The great news - had another job interview today, and yeah, I was basically told that I will definitely be hearing back from them, when can I start, etc. I also did a drug test today, for the previous interview I had. And I have another interview coming up, plus some other requests for my background checks. So, before long I am confident I will officially be working for the United States Postal Service! Never would have imagined it, but its a good opportunity for me. And, then I stopped at Goodwill to look at books (I am a sucker for books), and found a like-new Giani Bernini purse, for $5! It's really nice, classic black, and I needed a black one since my other one basically fell apart on me. I wore it right out, lol. And I also found a really pretty teal blue one, with a super neat design in the leather, for spring. I love them! They are really nice quality, look brand new, and since they are real leather, they smell wonderful. So that was fun, and productive! All in all, things are going good. Actually, its amazing how the world treats me differently already. I am a size 24 right now (but 5'10" tall), 3x in tops, although they are getting loose. And people (mostly men) are opening doors, striking up conversations, commenting to me out of the blue as I walk by. And I know part of it is just me feeling better about life. I am happier, I smile more, I feel confident, and I am just enjoying life. That radiates off of a person. But I can't help but think that some of it has to be that I look better. That I have lost enough to be entering "attractive" territory" again. I am getting closer to the size that is socially acceptable, and the world is responding. As happy as I am with myself, that also makes me sad. I have changed, yes, but I am still me. The "fat" me deserved to be treated with respect as well. The month is nearly over, and I have goals set up for October. I would like to get down to 285. And once I get under 300 I am buying new running shoes. At this rate it wont be long at all! Hurray! Well, have a great weekend, everyone. I have a to-do list as long as my arm for tomorrow, lol.