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About annoyedfriend

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  • Birthday 11/26/1982
  1. the 30-50 lbs overweight remark was referring to the heaviest she had ever been prior to having her last child and purposely gaining excess weight to qualify for the surgery. and i'm not sure if you read all of my post, or all those following, but i never had an intention of telling her secret. i was more trying to understand and questioning my friendship with someone who was very public about her weight loss and thowing up, and neglecting to explain that she had the surgery to her many many friends who still struggle with weight. she was only telling half the story and trying to represent as though she did it with only will power and not medical intervention. the reason why i reached out to the forum was to talk to others who may be in her shoes and keeping her and my anonymity. my big gripe is that if someone is going to be very vocal and document every lbs lost that you should be truthful about how you did it. i know lifestyle changes happen post op, and you have to adhear to a stict diet and a lot of you get on an exercise redgiment, but i think honesty as to what tools are used to get yourself there is a big thing. most importantly when other obese people are looking to you for advice. and if you want to be private, then no problem, but i don't think people should try to have it both ways.
  2. ok guys to sum this up to those who read my words and tried to (some, eventually) understand: thank you. i've been given some great advice and a few ideas as to why she may be acting that way. i really appreciate the time you took to read what i've typed out and both objectivley and with your own experiences, respond. to those who claim that it was my own issues: wow, i am kinda shocked at you guys the most. almost immediatley some of you tried to blame me, say it was my problem and that i was a bad friend. being that i have been morbidly obese myself, i am surprised that someone else who has gone through the same struggle would be that catty and judgemental to anyone. it bothers me that some of you didn't even take the time to try and see the real issue here and just tried to make me out to be a jealous friend. something i want to say to those who are silent about their surgery: i think you should tell your friends and family, i understand this is a private decision, but you should give the people in your life more credit. i know that a lot of people out there view the surgery as the easy, lazy option. i know it is not (regardless of my poor choice of the phrase "easy way out", which i hope after explaining it over and over, people have understood what i meant) and easy fix, and i think you should be proud of what you've done and educate people on the lifestyle changes the surgery produces. and if you don't talk about it, lets face it, most people know anyway. it is very rare that a person will shed that much weight in such a short span of time without medical intervention. and your friends may feel like you are decieving them, though you just may want to be private. but give your friends/family a little more credit, they may be an unexpected support system. and this is what i ask from the gastic bypass community: i would never in a million years try to take away the work you have to put in and changes you have to make for and following the surgery. but please don't act like you have all the answers to weight loss, no one does. be open and honest and not only support your post-op community, but the overweight/obese community. share your story, we all have the same struggles, no matter what tool we use to ultimatley achieve success.
  3. thank you, you really seem to understand why i was upset, and the vomitting, i'm pretty sure that in her case it is related to the after effect of the surgery, but when she does post its like "oh, i just threw up again, he he he".. <~~ to paraphrase. she makes light of it and i thought that is was a dangeous thing for her to be to careless about dicussing it, without letting people know it was the surgery, since so many people are begging for her secret.
  4. yea.. i am.. lol.. that is why i deleted that post.. i misread your post. sorry!!
  5. i think that is the best suggestion from everyone thus far!
  6. no, because no one is really answering my problems.. and i am still waiting on someone to address her posts about throwing up (via her fb) and not explaining why. she should keep those things to herself , imo. and being we have mutal friends who are e.d. survivors, insensitive. i'll stick around, as long as i can hang in there. i'm trying not to feel too attacked,lol. but also kind of hoping that someone will see the other side.
  7. because i know that the surgery is a life changing event. i think it should be looked upon as almost a last resort. i have seen people who rushed into it, have the surgery fail and are back even bigger than they were. i know you all know it is a life changing proceedure and i am sorry if i think it should be more than a year of someone being obese before surgery is even thought about. i have spoken to two people, one who the surgery didn't work for, and one who is only a short time out. they both share my frustration, believe it or not.
  8. * just to add and kind of off topic.. some of you have referenced me not knowing about weight issues. i do know what it is like to have weight issues. i've been 300lbs before. as i said in another post, i understand the highs of being thin and the lows of being heavy. i know there are different ways to obtain weight loss, gastic bypass was not an option i felt for myself, but i have many people close to me who have had it, it was right for them, it is not right for everybody. so i do understand the frustration of being overweight, obese... and i think we should all support eachother and be honest as to what works for us and makes us happy. and just because i am angry with my friend for misrepresenting herself by portraying that she did this with only her own hands. that does NOT make me a bad friend. i'm not bullying her, i am not outing her.. i am just trying to understand why the dishonesty.
  9. i am sorry, i had two issues, though really only one main complaint. i should have picked one or the other. she had a few kids, in a short span, then gained weight to have the surgery (this came out of her own mouth to a mutal friend), and within a yr of her last pregnancy she had the surgery and has lost 100lbs.
  10. no.. somehow a large amount of her friends don't know, or aren't saying that they do. she has told me, and a few friends, and the reason i'm here is to anonymously discuss the situation without spreading the story. but daily on her fb page, when she is posting pictures or talking about how much she has lost there are still many many many responses asking her how.
  11. and to add... if she doesn't want people to know that she had the surgery fine, don't talk about it at all.. she makes very public statements about everything she has gone throught EXCEPT the surgery part. it seems unfair to those who she is sharing her successes with to leave that part out.
  12. wow.. still just wow.. i understand most of you getting defensive, but wow.. i will try to put this as plan as i can. how is it right for this girl to act like she has lost the weight with her own will power and plan, when the surgery is what led her to have to make diet changes (which there is nothing wrong with) to her friends, who are still over weight and struggling. these people think she did it on her own and some have even spoken to me about it, and in our circle of friends who do know, most of us feel the same. and i see not one of you had a problem with my throwing up comment in the op. she makes mention to vomiting and that is irresponsible when she doesn't explain why it may happen. don't make me out to be the bad guy here, insinuating that i am the jealous one with my own issues. i have my own issues, and i own them. and no, i don't believe she should have been a candidate for the surgery. i've seen people wait for years to get it. i'm NOT reflecting my own issues. i guess (most of) you guys are just reading what you want to read. i was looking for honest answers from people who have been through this to try and see inside of her brain a little bit.
  13. yes, but i don't know if i want to be friends with someone who appears to be deliberatly misrepresting herself. regardless what it may be. and i kinda feel that it is a slap in the face of her friends who are still overweight and begging her for advice.
  14. wow.. i kinda guess people aren't understanding me and just reading the negative in my original post. i've said more than once that i think it is great that she lost the weight, i don't look down on her, i know the surgery is a viable and often life saving proceedure for a lot of people, but i do feel that the doctors rushed her into it, she gained excess weight for it (as i stated in my op) and never tried to take, what i'm 99% sure was baby weight, off on her own. i've seen people battle weight problems for decades, i know the struggles of people who finally get the surgery, but let me asure you this is not always the case. sometimes people think it is the easy, quick way. i know it is a life style change and i know you still have the struggles. she was hardly even obese for a year. her getting the surgery wasn't right. but still the main focus of my post was her representing herself like she did this on her own, and not giving credit to the surgery as for why she had to make these changes. i am not bashing people who have had it. please understand. this is one person that i don't know how to handle.