6 pointsOne year. I can't believe it's been a whole year - its funny, how it both seems twice as long, and also like it can't possibly have been a year already. In the year (and couple weeks) since surgery, I have lost over 100 pounds. I can power up stairs without losing my breath, do longer hikes, and I have a wholly different relationship with food. I'm very mindful of my tool; especially now that I really and truly feel hunger again. It would not be difficult to eat past the warning signs of fullness, but when those warning signs begin, I promptly set my utensils down. I don't even bring a drink to the table any more; it is too tempting to "wet my whistle" and find several gulps gone and then suddenly realize I have room for more food. I started in a size 22/3x. I now wear a 12/14 and a L/XL. I wore a 42H bra; I now wear a 36G. While my shoe size hasn't changed, and I was never someone who carried weight in her feet, my shoes do feel a bit looser now and I believe I'll likely be able to wear a non-wide width shoe when I purchase again. I'm thrilled compression socks fit me now without leaving a giant indentation in my calf muscle; I actually have problems with some of them falling down now! My stomach is still flabby (and I dont have a very cute (naked) pregnancy belly at all!), and the fat on my legs hangs depending on if my legs are up or down. My bat wings could cover a childs face. These things bothered me a lot more a few months ago; lately, they arent even on my radar. That may change after arrival of the kiddo, but for now I know my body is gonna change drastically over the next few months, and then drastically again over the months after that, so I may as well settle in for the ride. I'm not opposed to plastics, but my weight never stabilized before I got pregnant, so I have a long way to go after pregnancy still, and then some time to maintain weight before I can think about plastics. I'm now 21 weeks along in this little surprise pregnancy, and the second trimester has been pretty enjoyable. My energy is mostly back, the cravings are diminished, and I'm not yet so big that moving around on my own is difficult. I have about 8 weeks or so remaining until my doctor will force me into light duty, and in the meantime I keep up pretty well at work, despite how physically demanding it is. My focus gets to be on providing healthy foods, but also making sure I'm eating enough - which is actually pretty great for a WLS patient - I have double the reason to stick to my nutrition and calorie goals at the moment! Oh, and we found out last week we are expecting a little girl I haven't done any proper "after" pictures since becoming pregnant, so here's my most recent before and after, followed by a few bump pics The first is 17 weeks, the next is last week. Don't mind my hair in that second one, it was a rough day at work We are having to go for extra ultrasounds just out of an abundance of caution for making sure WLS isn't affecting the baby's growth. So far she's in the 58th percentile and doing excellent! It's been bizarre to think of how quickly things changed just from WLS, and now how quickly things have changed again. I worry I'll have trouble switching gears again once I've had the baby, but I'm excited for an active lifestyle and to introduce a tyke to that - we're already looking at hiking packs that include seats for kids and hoping to plan a couple short travel trips next year to acclimate to traveling with a little one. I'll keep trying to remember to check in often - it seems I always think of TTF during the day at work, remind myself to log on, and then by the time I get home and cook and get ready for the next day, I don't remember a thing!
3 pointsI almost titled this blog entry "Too skinny"? I am NOT complaining, but this month has been a bit of a trip into the Weight Twilight Zone. I hoped to get down in the bottom of my weight range before Christmas so I could enjoy holiday treats without fear. Also, we're going with 5 families for a week to a ranch in Arizona starting tomorrow so the eating/drinking will be tempting there too. Sooooo, I wanted to be at "fighting weight" when all that started. All good. I did that. But then a weird thing happened. My husband said that I didn't need to lose anymore weight. My 25-year-old son home for the holidays said I was too thin and needed to eat more. He tried to pump me with fatty foods, carbs, and candy in an attempt to get high calories in with low volume. And I have to admit, when I look in the mirror, my extra skin looks worse, and I can see my ribs on the front of my chest. I feel like I am in an alternate universe! This can't be me! Even though I look a little gaunt undressed, for the first time probably ever, I think I look really nice in clothes. I'll never be tall and thin, but I'm short and thin-ish in clothes! Yay! So, I'm a little unsure of where exactly I want to end up. Still trying to figure that one out. I have to say that stopping losing weight FEELS REALLY WEIRD. I've been losing for an entire year. Accepting smalls gains and losses is a mind trip. I still feel like I'm trying to balance on a tight wire. Exercise-wise I'm toying with running. I've been walking 4-6 miles per day 5 days a week, and this month I've run three miles a few times. It feels so good! But I'm trying to be careful so I don't injure myself. I've only let myself run 2 days a week, and take a rest day after. My "gifty" for staying in my weight range this month was a new pair of walk/running shoes. I've had the old ones for 5 years so I was REALLY overdue! The real treat was going to a running store, getting fit into the best shoes for my body, feet, and exercise regime. Running is a cheap sport, and I figure shoes is the only real piece of equip't I need. As a final note I'd like to say that I am SO grateful for 2018! This year has been a transition year to the rest of my life with a healthy future looking very real. Successful VSG surgery and 115 pounds lost. What a gift this year has been! I will always remember 2018 as being the year I was physically re-born and given a second chance at a happy life! And thank you, my TT heroes for holding my trembling hand along this journey! Maintenance Diary - 1st month - Range 135.4 - 140 pounds 2nd month - Range 133.0 - 135.4 pounds 3rd month - Starts today!
1 pointSo I finally got back to using the scale again this month. I weighed in at the hospital on the 21st when showing up for my EGD, and was thrilled to know I have hit and surpassed the 100 pounds down mark! I was 209 pounds that day. I still haven't really gotten my scale out of it's closet of shame right now, but I'm feeling good about that The dysmorphia has been hella bad the last two months. I'm one of those that never felt I was as large as I was (until staring at the number on the scale or seeing a picture of myself). So to some extent, I'm fighting the notion that I haven't really lost much weight. I also fight feeling smaller than I am. I can wear a 14 jean quite comfortably (which was a total surprise), and I've had to stop shopping at plus-size niche shops like Lane Bryant and Torrid for the most part. However, sometimes when I pick something up, I feel it should fit, only to have it fit me like a sausage casing. Essentially, I feel overall I have no idea what I really look like, no matter how much I look at pictures or in the mirror. All part of the journey, I think. In other news, I've been going to the gym much more faithfully and have noticed some forward momentum in stamina. I've also been doing (super duper beginner) yoga at home on a regular basis (thank you, youtube) and feel my muscles aren't as tight and my idiot left hip is finally coming around. Hiking continues to be a mainstay, although it'd be great if the rain could subside for more than a day or so. I had the EGD, and thankfully, only one small ulcer. They put a bravo capsule in me (it attaches to your esophagus) and I walked around for a couple days with this giant data collector that connects to the capsule by bluetooth to measure my pH levels. It has a few buttons on it that I press to indicate when I am eating, sleeping, or feeling symptoms. I had 105 episodes of reflux in two days. I'm not sure what this means, still waiting to hear back from the bariatric office. And I'm kind of burying the lead here, but last week I found out some major news. I'm pregnant, y'all. This comes as a complete and utter shock after nearly 8 years of trying, including 3-4 years of off and on fertility treatments. I have a completely blocked left fallopian tube, and polycystic ovaries, and was told in no uncertain terms I'd need IVF to conceive. We were planning after I'd at least hit the year post-op mark and gotten under 180 to go for IVF. Then last week, after a full week of aching boobs that were a lot worse than my normal PMS-type symptoms, I kinda shrugged and took a test, not thinking much of it. And then I saw two lines and lost my mind for a second. I quickly took a second test, told my DH, and we both said - "theyre cheap chinese tests, lets go get a real one". Ran over to CVS, bought several "real" ones and brought them home only for them all to pop positive within 10 seconds. Whew. You guys are pretty much the only ones to know right now, because it is an ingrained part of my WLS journey. I haven't told my parents yet because my mother has been literally begging me for a grandchild for 13 years, and I'm at a high risk of miscarriage, so I'd like to at least meet my OB and make sure things are okay before I tell them. I'm actually kind of thankful for TTF, because I'm going to scream if I don't at least tell SOMEONE - and because, no matter what way this ends up, it is entwined with my WLS journey like a pretzel. This certainly takes any revision surgery (for the heartburn) off the table for me for now, and has brought up a slew of questions about navigating nutritional needs while post-op. Thankfully, there's a lot of literature out there for this. I haven't yet told my bari team, partly because I know they're not going to be happy. We're supposed to avoid pregnancy until at least 12 months, and preferably 18, and here I am, pregnant at 9 months post op. I meet my OB in a couple weeks, and plan to call my bari team as soon as I know it's not an ectopic or otherwise problematic pregnancy. So yeah. That's been my month. And my last couple weeks.