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C'est La Vie



I was really happy when I found this forum. It was so refreshing to have points of views from all sorts of people. A lot of them struggling with the same things I have my whole life. I lurked for months while being too shy and or too scared to post. I finally drum up the courage to introduce myself. Received a really warm and loving response. I decided to subscribe to my welcome thread to prompt myself to stay active in this community.

So today while I was at work someone posted some pretty derogatory remarks in that thread I was subscribed to. As you would expect the mods were right on top of that and the posts were deleted and the user (I believe) has been banned. Unfortunately since I had subscribed I still got a copy of the posts in my email in-box. I skimmed the first one but deleted it instantly because I don't need that sort of negativity in my life. The user all sent me a PM but luckily I never got to lay eyes on that only a notification for it.

I'm strong and I've been around the internet for a long time. So I was not an ounce bothered or upset by it.

But I do worry that I have gotten a taste of what I might have to experience post weight loss surgery. There does seem to be a stigma surrounding it. One of the reasons I have told very, very few people that I am going to have a bypass done. I have read on the board to prepare some stock answers. I'm still pre-op but I am certainly going to start thinking of some now.

I am not going to let all this chase me off the board but I will certainly hesitate to subscribe to threads from now on.


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Try not to let trolls get you down. I too saw those posts, and in fact responded to them. That particular user clearly has some gripes they wanted to share...and in doing so couldn't even get his facts right. Question and listen to people who matter to you, especially your medical team. Post surgical complications can happen but there are risks associated with any major surgery. If you are anxious about them then have a deep and meaningful with your surgeon. That's what I did and he confirmed that they are rare and often predictable based on the patient's health state going in. There are things you can do to mitigate your own risk, and I've found that concentrating on things that I need to do is helping my confidence going into to surgery. Of course I'll be a total head case on the day, but that's not out of the ordinary.

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If it makes you feel any better, I've been on this board for a bit over a year now and that's the first troll I've seen (not counting the random bots that like to post in the middle of the night). In regards to your comments about the stigma of WLS, I'm pretty private about my surgery, but when I have told people, I've gotten nothing but support (I tend to spill the beans to other people struggling with their weight because I don't want to mislead them about why my weight came off so fast and easily). People don't comment nearly as much as I expected they would. For me, it's more common for them to not recognize me at first, then they start gushing compliments and, as they're verbally vomiting, they ask how I did it. So it's pretty easy to give a short answer, thank them for the compliments and move on from the topic. It's not that huge of a deal. I think my mom & best friend answer more questions about my weight loss than I do. By the way, since I didn't see your intro thread, please let me say welcome now. I hope you get lots of positivity and support from this board and that random jerk will be an irrelevant blip in the past soon.

Edited by athenarose

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Welcome!  I'm a long time lurker myself and have just recently pulled the trigger on becoming an active member.  I started keeping a blog too so that I can document my journey.  I think it's a great idea! 

I'm sorry you had the experience with people giving you gruff in your intro post.  Obviously not the best thing to have happen when you've been shy about introducing yourself.  I didn't see the comments or your intro post, but I'm pretty laid back when it comes to getting shame or hate or whatever you want to call it.  Piss on them.  If they aren't my doctor, medical team, surgeon, or my wife, they aren't worth the energy it would take to even read (or listen) to what they have to say.  A wise man once told me, "Consider the source..."  If someone gives you crap, especially on here, just remind yourself why you are doing what you're doing and look forward to all of the things there are to look forward to.

And I think not wanting to discuss WLS with a lot of people is pretty normal.  There is a social stigma attached to it that is uneducated and pointless.  I wrote about something similar in my most recent blog.  My wife, mom and brother know.  End of list.  As far as I'm concerned, it isn't anyone's business and if anyone asks me, if I feel like lying, I will.  :D  My life, my rules. 

Welcome again!  Looking forward to following your journey!

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