Today I went to see my surgeon who did my sleeve for me and she says I have to talk to the therapist and nutritionist first before talking another surgery. I only went to see her because in my despair I couldn't think of what else to do. I feel as though if something as drastic as surgery didn't work for me what else can anyone do. I am only 18 lbs less than my original weight 3 years ago. The most I've ever lost was almost 30 lbs. I would come online and research failed gastric sleeves, everyone reassured me I was just losing it slow. No one loses this slow. I can't even say I eat a lot of fast food. I can eat a full plate of protein with ease. And I usually don't have time to eat all day so I have large helpings in the evenings.
I also feel frustrated because something is obviously wrong with me. I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety. I sometimes drink more now than I did before surgery. Nothing crazy but even that I drink vodka and diet coke. No sugary drinks. I'm pretty sure I have high blood pressure now. Even if I were the absolute worst patient and I know that I'm not, I should have lost a modest amount. My thyroid is fine last I checked a few months ago. Being this way has destroyed my self esteem and my life. I try diet and exercise in vain. I felt like she was making it clear that it was me and not the surgery. I'm sure she's right but it hardly seems fair that so many people did it and at least had temporary relief. 18 lbs in three years gaining and losing the same 10-15??
I am scheduled to do a barium swallow so she can look at my stomach and see if I need a revision. I don't want to switch to another type of weight loss surgery if it comes to that. If my sleeve is too big I'd be willing to redo it. Otherwise that's it.
The nurse practitioner says my case is unusual. That in their practice they may see one or two people per year who have not lost any weight like me.
Why did I have to get the confirmation that I'm a biological freak of nature? I would suspect this when everyone says how easy it is to lose weight. I become maniacal about tracking things
How do you cut out a chunk of your stomach and without even increasing your meals, remain the same weight?
So if you googled and landed on my page, I am a person who 100% failed at my weight loss surgery and now I have begun the very long process of trying to do something about it.
This nutritionist is going to make an appointment with me way later just to tell me to log my food which I already do. I am going to take the most meticulous notes I can so we can get to the point. Three years. The idea of waiting another day for legitimate help out of this prison of a body feels too much to bear. I'm going to turn thirty looking like this and single because of it.
I posted this in a thread in the long term post op VSG portion of the site for anyone who wondered like I did years ago if its possible to fail. Unlikely, I hear, but there's always that one
I'm that one.
my heart is broken