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Bad, Bad Habits...

CassMoxie

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Uh oh... It's starting to happen. No, I'm not emotionally eating, nor am I eating unhealthy. In fact, the act of eating seems to be more of an issue than what I'm eating. But those aren't the bad habits.

No... you see, for my entire life, I've been a gum chewer. I used to have several types of gum, all the time, and at places readily available. No matter what size I was, thin or big, I chewed gum. I wonder now if it was an anxiety thing or just me needing to do something with my mouth.

Fast forward to month twelve post op. Anxiety and stress have been creeping up due to personal issues and I find myself craving cigarettes. What?? I've smoked ONE when I was 17 and that was the last and ONLY cigarette I've ever had. Why in the world would I be craving cigarettes? For about two weeks, I struggled with why this new craving was popping up and trying to busy my hands with other things. Finally, I came to the conclusion it was because I no longer had anything to do with my hands and mouth, as I did with gum.

So, I went and got an e-cigarette. It comes with two nicotine loaded cartridges and I bought two no-nicotine cartridges. Ahhh, sweet relief. Until the two ran out and I started using the nicotine ones. Oh wow... you mean I can go ALL day without feeling hungry even ONCE?!? Yah, the new found control I discovered with adding a little bit of nicotine has been no bueno. I've had to add Nexium back into my pill pile up, so I don't give myself an ulcer. Fortunately, it hasn't become an addiction, but I still like it way more than I should. Actually, I shouldn't enjoy it at all, but I do.

Other than that, I'm dropping still, slowly, but it seems like the inches are coming off more than the weight at this point. I'm okay with that! My skin is slowly starting to tighten back up in certain spots as well. Woot!



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