So everything has been going well - no problems on the pre op milk diet aside the constipation (sorry tmi) gave into the fybogel today yuukk!
This morning me and hubby were having cuddles while the kids were stil asleep - must be a blue moon tonight, and I could hear in his breathing that he was upset. So I asked what was wrong and he buried his face saying nothing - I know this is serious. He got quite upset and emotional saying he doesn't want me to have surgery on monday!!
It's not that he DOESN'T want me to have surgery he's just scared and worried incase something happens. He was getting himself in such a state telling me how much he loves me and he's sorry for things that ever upset me and that if he lost me then he doesn't know what he'd do over and over. I calmed him down and tried to joke saying he's a big softy at heart that everything will be ok and that he's more worried than me.
After talking about the positives and discussing plans for post op and about how good i'll feel and hopefully look not to mention health benefits etc he calmed some more. I also explained the dangers if i I carried on as I am and the illnesses that could burden us. He tried the "but you've lost so much already just stick at it" I explained it's not that easy - having a goal like surgery and being under the hospital for weight loss is so much easier, well not easier but it keeps you focused and more determined - if I was doing the diet off of my own back as soon as I sts or stalled that would be it I'd get fed up and got back to square -2: put all I lost back on plus more!
Anyway after a heart to heart and he calmed down he went off to work leaving me in my own thoughts.
What do I do? Of course I've been worried about the risks, who wouldn't be but, the outcome is so good. I do want this, really want this but, I dont want to leave my children motherless or leave my hubby heart broken. My way of thinking is I've kept to every instruction pre-op weight loss targets met, gave up smoking on and off but seriously the last 6-7 weeks, been exercising 3 times a week pushing myself this last month and I will do the same post-op I will follow everything by the book, I promise myself and my family.
Part of me wishes it was next week already then I'd be sitting here writing something totally different. Aaaahhhh! Why isn't it easy