I thought I'd better get this posted before it's my tenth month!!!
Here's my 9 month pictures and update. I wasn't sure I could believe Jenn when she kept saying that little weight losses mean big inch losses at this point. I mean I believed it for HER because it was obvious but that could never happen to ME!! Until this month. It's so happening! I haven't really changed pant sizes mostly because I haven't tried plus I've been wearing dresses more since they can be a little big and still not risk falling down like pants and I don't suffer from thigh chaffing like I used to! I haven't ventured below a size 12 pants or a large top....although I bought a white tank top in Medium because I wanted it to wear it under my shirts to keep me decent (some of my shirts are so big when I bend over) and since it would be very tight, it would also act as a comfortable shape wear. Today I put it on for the first time, hoping it wouldn't be too restrictive that I couldn't breathe and to my shock it didn't even touch anything below my bust...it just hung there!!! What??? A medium, just hanging on me?!? That's not the shape wear I thought it would be...haha! I'm finding moments like that are getting more and more common! And the funny thing is I'm STILL shocked each time! (I still try to reason out they're "vanity sized"! I just can't mentally grasp it! It doesn't get old and it doesn't get mundane. Soooo glad I chose to have the surgery...this is amazing!
My husband is the same way....just as amazed. He put his arm around me when I got home from work and I knew all he felt was ribs and he said "you are just getting so small!". So I hugged him and his arms went around me and overlapped so that his hands clasped his elbows! It's been over thirty yrs since he's been able to do that! So amazing things are happening with my body that I am just not used to and they still don't cease to amaze me! (SO glad I had the surgery...have I said that enough?!?)
It's weird but I can feel my legs shrinking too. My thighs are getting smaller and all I can feel is solid muscle (I walk a LOT) and excess, ripply skin, but I don't care as much as I thought I would. I still would never wear shorts to work (which is fine bc I couldn't) or church but I will to walk in them every night and every Saturday I wear them. When I walk, I FEEL my muscles working and my skin jiggling but I choose to be more impressed with the strong muscles than obsessed with the loose skin! My butt is getting tighter (muscle wise, I'm afraid to look at the skin but I'm sure that's not getting tighter!!!) and oddly enough my hands end where my butt ends now (my butt used to keep going and going...) So that occasionally my hand hits the end of my butt and I am always amazed at how much smaller and higher it is! (Have I mentioned yet that I am thrilled I had the surgery?!?)
I occupy my time with doing squats and lunges while working in the kitchen or doing wash etc. Every 15 mins my watch tells me to do something so at work, I do tricep work or squats. I keep my muscles moving constantly... probably bc I am so aware of them now! And I find that pretty cool!
I bought and wore my first S-M 8-10 dress this weekend and it fit plenty well to wear. On labor day our local salvation army will have their 50% off of clothes so you know where I'll be getting my fall wardrobe from!!! But oddly enough, I still can't grasp getting mediums but I'm going to!
As for my eating, well that's a different story. We went out to eat two weekends ago with my in-laws to celebrate our anniversaries together (see attached pic...34 years and counting!). I got grilled salmon on a salad bed with vinegarette and took most salad and half the salmon home. Problem is it was an Italian restaurant and they had warm bread with dipping oils. I only had a bite of my husband's then a second and finally one more nibble. And that was it for the evening. Until they brought us lemon cookies at the end and I had one small bite. All in all a fine night...didn't stray too far. BUT then we went out on Sunday and then Friday we went out one more time for our anniversary together. So, my problem is one of two or perhaps a combo and I don't know for sure. For some reason I can't stop eating now. It could be that I ate the forbidden bread (haven't had more than five bites of bread since November) and carbs and now my body wants them badly OR (and I'm leaning towards this one) it didn't effect my weight so I feel invincible...which is a scary place to be! That means it's mind game time. I ate plenty all weekend (admission: stale cheese curls that my son had in the cabinet.... really??? Have I not learned to be more careful by now?!?!). but my weight didn't go up. So I don't know if I'm subconsciously testing my ability to indulge and see how far I can go without it affecting me (scary!) And then the conscious half of my brain thinks "yeah but if you didn't overeat, your would have lost so you're sabotaging yourself!". (all true). I hate getting to the mind game part of losing weight. Ugh. I don't want to be here.
I'm super swamped at work right now so keeping busy keeps me from eating too much at work but two nights ago I couldn't stop eating at home! Last night I.had a better resolve and did.much better. I have GOT to snap out of this--immediately!l
Still I wouldn't change having had the surgery, but I clearly need to change mindset. We are going away soon and I need to be back on track BEFORE we leave or this will snowball out of control and I'll be at 241.5 again in no time!