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Month nine

CheeringCJ

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I thought I'd better get this posted before it's my tenth month!!!

 

Here's my 9 month pictures and update. I wasn't sure I could believe Jenn when she kept saying that little weight losses mean big inch losses at this point. I mean I believed it for HER because it was obvious but that could never happen to ME!! Until this month. It's so happening!  I haven't really changed pant sizes mostly because I haven't tried plus I've been wearing dresses more since they can be a little big and still not risk falling down like pants and I don't suffer from thigh chaffing like I used to!  I haven't ventured below a size 12 pants or a large top....although I bought a white tank top in Medium because I wanted it to wear it under my shirts to keep me decent (some of my shirts are so big when I bend over) and since it would be very tight, it would also act as a comfortable shape wear. Today I put it on for the first time, hoping it wouldn't be too restrictive that I couldn't breathe and to my shock it didn't even touch anything below my bust...it just hung there!!!  What??? A medium, just hanging on me?!?  That's not the shape wear I thought it would be...haha!  I'm finding moments like that are getting more and more common!  And the funny thing is I'm STILL shocked each time! (I still try to reason out they're "vanity sized"!  I just can't mentally grasp it!  It doesn't get old and it doesn't get mundane. Soooo glad I chose to have the surgery...this is amazing!

 

My husband is the same way....just as amazed. He put his arm around me when I got home from work and I knew all he felt was ribs and he said "you are just getting so small!". So I hugged him and his arms went around me and overlapped so that his hands clasped his elbows!  It's been over thirty yrs since he's been able to do that!  So amazing things are happening with my body that I am just not used to and they still don't cease to amaze me! (SO glad I had the surgery...have I said that enough?!?)

 

It's weird but I can feel my legs shrinking too. My thighs are getting smaller and all I can feel is solid muscle (I walk a LOT) and excess, ripply skin, but I don't care as much as I thought I would. I still would never wear shorts to work (which is fine bc I couldn't) or church but I will to walk in  them every night and every Saturday I wear them. When I walk, I FEEL my muscles working and my skin jiggling but I choose to be more impressed with the strong muscles than obsessed with the loose skin!  My butt is getting tighter (muscle wise, I'm afraid to look at the skin but I'm sure that's not getting tighter!!!) and oddly enough my hands end where my butt ends now (my butt used to keep going and going...) So that occasionally my hand hits the end of my butt and I am always amazed at how much smaller and higher it is! (Have I mentioned yet that I am thrilled I had the surgery?!?)

 

I occupy my time with doing squats and lunges while working in the kitchen or doing wash etc. Every 15 mins my watch tells me to do something so at work, I do tricep work or squats. I keep my muscles moving constantly... probably bc I am so aware of them now!  And I find that pretty cool!

 

I bought and wore my first S-M 8-10 dress this weekend and it fit plenty well to wear. On labor day our local salvation army will have their 50% off of clothes so you know where I'll be getting my fall wardrobe from!!! But oddly enough, I still can't grasp getting mediums but I'm going to!

 

As for my eating, well that's a different story. We went out to eat two weekends ago with my in-laws to celebrate our anniversaries together (see attached pic...34 years and counting!). I got grilled salmon on a salad bed with vinegarette and took most salad and half the salmon home. Problem is it was an Italian restaurant and they had warm bread with dipping oils. I only had a bite of my husband's then a second and finally one more nibble. And that was it for the evening. Until they brought us lemon cookies at the end and I had one small bite. All in all a fine night...didn't stray too far. BUT then we went out on Sunday and then Friday we went out one more time for our anniversary together. So, my problem is one of two or perhaps a combo and I don't know for sure. For some reason I can't stop eating now. It could be that I ate the forbidden bread (haven't had more than five bites of bread since November) and carbs and now my body wants them badly OR (and I'm leaning towards this one) it didn't effect my weight so I feel invincible...which is a scary place to be! That means it's mind game time. I ate plenty all weekend (admission: stale cheese curls that my son had in the cabinet.... really??? Have I not learned to be more careful by now?!?!). but my weight didn't go up. So I don't know if I'm subconsciously testing my ability to indulge and see how far I can go without it affecting me (scary!) And then the conscious half of my brain thinks "yeah but if you didn't overeat, your would have lost so you're sabotaging yourself!". (all true). I hate getting to the mind game part of losing weight. Ugh. I don't want to be here. 

 

I'm super swamped at work right now so keeping busy keeps me from eating too much at work but two nights ago I couldn't stop eating at home!  Last night I.had a better resolve and did.much better. I have GOT to snap out of this--immediately!l

 

Still I wouldn't change having had the surgery, but I clearly need to change mindset. We are going away soon and I need to be back on track BEFORE we leave or this will snowball out of control and I'll be at 241.5 again in no time! 

 

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Thank you so much for posting this! I’m only a little over 2 month’s post surgery but I’m already seeing such a difference in my body! Reading your post makes me so happy that I had surgery too! I’m so happy for you!!! You look absolutely beautiful!  :D

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CJ, you look amazing!  Such a big change.  Your eyes are so much more striking and vibrant in your later pictures (I hope that's ok to say!) - I can't tell if that's because your face has narrowed or because you're so clearly happy!  The changes do keep rolling along - and I'm super proud of you!

I get where you're coming from, too, about the mind games.  I feel that way sometimes, too - that I'm testing myself, or just relaxing because I've hit a pretty comfortable weight for myself.  While I was on vacation, I had a lot more that I shouldn't than just a few cheese curls or bites of lemon cookie!  And I've lost nothing this month, thanks to my two-week vacation (apparently it was also a vacation from having any sense!)

But I'm following the advice I know everyone would give me - I'm getting back to my basics.  Every bite goes into MFP, and I'm weighing/measuring, and keeping my net carbs below 50.  Entering things into MFP seems to be just the wake-up call I need - it really helps me get myself back on track.  We still have the tools surgery gave us - by which I mean both the surgical tools and the brain tools other members here share with us every day.

(Also, I'm thrilled you're finding that Jenn was right about your sizes dropping, too.  I still don't believe it will happen for me!)

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Congrats, @CheeringCJ! You’re looking really fit and happy, which is not surprising since you’ve been so active. 

Yes, just s few pounds makes a huge difference when you’re getting to be so small, as you are :) Which is great for how you feel, and awful for your wardrobe. 

The consistency of your photo series is amazing. You will totally thank yourself. Keep looking at photos - they’ll help your brain adjust.

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On 8/22/2018 at 9:41 AM, Animalrescuer18 said:

Thank you so much for posting this! I’m only a little over 2 month’s post surgery but I’m already seeing such a difference in my body! Reading your post makes me so happy that I had surgery too! I’m so happy for you!!! You look absolutely beautiful!  :D

you're welcome...and thanks for the compliments. I take them so I can SEE a differnce when I am not feeling like it is "working" but I post them so everyone else can have hope to trust the process bc it WORKS! :)

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On 8/22/2018 at 9:46 AM, BurgundyBoy said:

Great job CJ! and Thanks for the picture series! Wish I had done that. 

Honestly in the side by side one, I see my before and am soooo shocked!  Had I never had my husband take it, I would have never remembered I WAS that fat!  I am so glad I have a permanent record of where I have been and where Iam going...bc I am NOT going back there...EVER! ;)

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On 8/22/2018 at 9:51 AM, Kio said:

CJ, you look amazing!  Such a big change.  Your eyes are so much more striking and vibrant in your later pictures (I hope that's ok to say!) - I can't tell if that's because your face has narrowed or because you're so clearly happy!  The changes do keep rolling along - and I'm super proud of you!

I get where you're coming from, too, about the mind games.  I feel that way sometimes, too - that I'm testing myself, or just relaxing because I've hit a pretty comfortable weight for myself.  While I was on vacation, I had a lot more that I shouldn't than just a few cheese curls or bites of lemon cookie!  And I've lost nothing this month, thanks to my two-week vacation (apparently it was also a vacation from having any sense!)

But I'm following the advice I know everyone would give me - I'm getting back to my basics.  Every bite goes into MFP, and I'm weighing/measuring, and keeping my net carbs below 50.  Entering things into MFP seems to be just the wake-up call I need - it really helps me get myself back on track.  We still have the tools surgery gave us - by which I mean both the surgical tools and the brain tools other members here share with us every day.

(Also, I'm thrilled you're finding that Jenn was right about your sizes dropping, too.  I still don't believe it will happen for me!)

Thanks, @Kio.  Funny thing you should mention that bc when I bought that dress, the lady there said "what a perfect color for you....your green eyes are so striking!"  Huh?  Never heard that before and then for you to say they were striking days later....I must have lost all of the pudge around them! Or more honestly, it might be bc I don't look down to avoid having others "see" me, I do look ppl in the eyes more often bc I don't fear being judged.  (well that and I am happy too!)

I really didn't believe it would happen either, i kept thinking Jenn's just got great genes....but the further down I get the more I am morphing....and you are so close behind me you should start seeing it real soon too!

 

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On 8/22/2018 at 2:50 PM, Jen581791 said:

Congrats, @CheeringCJ! You’re looking really fit and happy, which is not surprising since you’ve been so active. 

Yes, just s few pounds makes a huge difference when you’re getting to be so small, as you are :) Which is great for how you feel, and awful for your wardrobe. 

The consistency of your photo series is amazing. You will totally thank yourself. Keep looking at photos - they’ll help your brain adjust.

I have to laugh bc I see in the side views how my hair really does grow each month...when I got it cut I hated how short she did it but I do see it managed to come back....which gives me hope that my angel halo of hairs will soon grow out and be able to lay down and not stick out.

I had to order new black shorts for my pics bc those literally are about to fall off of me (2x) and the shirt I had to downsize to (which is why it is navy) so I am getting a new black tank...I think I will try to get a medium instead of the 2x i started with!!!   But I will keep doing them bc it really helps me see how far I've come.  I got the idea from you to line them up (my husband does them for me on his ipad and sends them right back in about 2 mins)

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16 hours ago, CheeringCJ said:

I am so glad I have a permanent record of where I have been and where Iam going...bc I am NOT going back there...EVER! ;)

This is how I feel - failure is simply not an option.  Once I reached my goal weight, I have simply refused to accept any weight gain.  I see myself as being persistent, but my wonderful wife just thinks that I am stubborn. :D

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On 8/25/2018 at 5:21 PM, Res Ipsa said:

This is how I feel - failure is simply not an option.  Once I reached my goal weight, I have simply refused to accept any weight gain.  I see myself as being persistent, but my wonderful wife just thinks that I am stubborn. :D

Agreed. This was my "last hope" option and there's no other so I will insist this works! (And perhaps a little stubbornness is what will keep us on the straight and narrow!)

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