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My 5th Month Surgiversary!!!

CheeringCJ

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My Month 5 Surgiversary!!!

 

Month 5 was a big struggle for me.  I wasn’t losing much weight at all (4# total! Ugh!) I was very discouraged.  I changed my eating a bit (eating more keto than what I was) and I wasn’t dropping the weight or sizes.  I decided to go back to what I was eating…tomorrow afternoon, I am making up a bunch of stuff like I used to when I was losing.  But I also started walking a lot this month.  All week I have walked between 3-6 miles a day.  I went away for a few days and though I was not able to get as much water and protein in, I still walked (and walked!).

It was a rough month because I started to doubt the process….grieving that I passed the honeymoon phase of rapid weight loss and was on my way to a lifelong stall.  I struggle a lot with that.  I worry that I have failed yet another “diet”.  Also I wasn’t able to get to the board as much as I was going through a lot of changes in my household.  My husband started his dream job but wasn’t around as much as he had been and then my car got wrecked up in the ice storm and we’ve been sharing cars and making extra runs for kids etc.  So, all in all it was an off month.  My car is getting repaired this week and things are starting to get more normal (kinda!).

Personally I think I can eat more than I should be able to (so I constantly fear that I have stretched my sleeve!) but I am sure I am worrying too much about it.  I doubt it could be stretched that much that quickly.  But the panic rises up in me about it too much. 

Also I stress about my hair.  It wasn’t thick to begin with (I have a daughter w/ gorgeous thick hair, and I have been begging for some from her!!! Ha!)  I have been checking my brush/drain daily and had finally convinced myself that I am not losing THAT much….but today, yikes! I made sure the tub “mushroom” (hair catcher from Amazon) was clear, then I took my shower and afterwards there was so much in it that I nearly broke down.  I dried my hair and kept thinking “I have to get this cut because it is looking so much thinner and I can’t keep wearing it this way”.  I am not sure how to get it cut to draw less attn. from it….any suggestions?  I need it shorter as it is just getting scraggly.  I had a reverse bob before which would be fine for the back but not sure if that would still look scraggly in the front.  I knew this would come but I just don’t know how to deal with it.  I don’t want to chop it all off and appear bald but I also want a nice professional look that distracts from the fact there isn’t much hair left!

I forgot to do my measures today but will do them tomorrow and share them. 

In other news….the job I interviewed for….I GOT!!!! So, I am leaving the educational world to go back to the professional world!  (I’ve done medical/education/professional) and my new job encompasses all three of them! I start in two weeks.  I am pretty excited to get moving on my new career! I get to dress more professionally and work in a grown up world.  Now I will miss my students terribly but this is right for me and my family.  And it all goes along with the “Year of the New Me” theme!!!

 

HOWEVER, all that whining…but I looked at my before and after shots and I did PHENOMENAL if I must say so myself!!!  I hate to post them here for a few reasons…one is I don’t like posting personal photos on a public board (so please don’t “quote” this post so the pics won’t copy over) but also I am sooo mortified at how much I let myself go to begin with!!!!  How I EVER got THAT big I can’t even fathom!!!! I had my husband do the before and then month 1,2,3,4,5 side by side as always.  He kept saying “I can see a HUGE difference!” but I didn’t see it until he did a side by side of me in the beginning of my journey and now!!!  Holy Moly!!!  As discouraged as I was with myself this month, I am pleased as punch and super proud of me when I see the side by sides!!!

 

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Then my husband did a weird side by side and overlapped them so I could see myself melting.....

 

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Oh, my! Take a good look at that side by side. Not only do you look much thinner but, you look much younger and your hair looks MUCH better now!  You must be able to see that?

You truly do worry too much about things. The hair thinning is only temporary. It will all fall into place in the end so please, try not to stress so much about it. :)

You look marvelous!

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Wow wow wow! Looking AMAZING! Your hair looks fabulous. Try not to stress about it too much. The falling out won't last forever, and it's worth all that fantastic weight loss. Congrats on the new job!!! I hope you love it! You're doing so well!

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Thanks, it is funny to look at it....my first thought was 'my arms grew!' but then I realized my hands were down further because the fat pads weren't holding them further away from my body!!!!  Weird, right?  And I am getting shoulder bones and a chin.  I am liking the new me....and will like her even more as she is even less! ;)   I seriously don't even recognize that bloated person in the first pic (which  I must confess, it wasn't at my highest, it was after I had lost about 12# or so on my liquid diet)  But really I didn't know I was THAT fat!!!  Looking back I don't know if I am more embarrassed for her for feel empathy for that poor woman who looks so unhealthy!!!

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Wow! Good for you! And congrats on the new job. So exciting :) 

The photos are great - what a nice motivator. 

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You look amazing @CheeringCJ!  I think the photos are what will help you continue to get over the body dysmorphia - and see the changes have really stuck!  And big congrats on the new job and transition in your year of me!   

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You are looking great @CheeringCJ!  I know that whenever I'm not losing as much on the scale, my body is usually adjusting and I can see the results in my clothing and/or in my measurements.  I agree with @Readytobeme that your hair looks really good now, it seems like it goes better with the thinner you.  I hate seeing the hair in the drain and my brush, and everywhere else, but I'm also seeing it growing back in as well, so at least there is that going for us, right?

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16 hours ago, Readytobeme said:

Oh, my! Take a good look at that side by side. Not only do you look much thinner but, you look much younger and your hair looks MUCH better now!  You must be able to see that?

You truly do worry too much about things. The hair thinning is only temporary. It will all fall into place in the end so please, try not to stress so much about it. :)

You look marvelous!

Thanks...the hair thing is on my last nerve.  I went through that a month ago and looked up hairstyles etc but then it seemed ok enough to leave it be and see what happened.  I almost thought I could get to month 6 (next month) and it might stabilize but yesterday it seemed disastrous.  Today it seems ok (I didn't wash it, I only wash it every other day to lessen the stress on it...and me!) but I am afraid I will wake up tomorrow and want it cut off again!  Sigh.

i know it is only temporary but it is always in the back of my mind.  I knew it was a possibility (probability) and I still chose WLS bc I knew it would be temporary but it isn't easy watching pieces be on everything I own!

Thanks for the compliment!

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16 hours ago, Gretta said:

Wow wow wow! Looking AMAZING! Your hair looks fabulous. Try not to stress about it too much. The falling out won't last forever, and it's worth all that fantastic weight loss. Congrats on the new job!!! I hope you love it! You're doing so well!

Thanks, Gretta!  I'm trying not to.  I will however, trade hair with you as your hair is so gorgeous (well, not your hedgehog hair but your real hair!) :D

Thanks for the compliments and I am looking forward to the new job!  

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16 hours ago, Jen581791 said:

Wow! Good for you! And congrats on the new job. So exciting :) 

The photos are great - what a nice motivator. 

Yes, it is exciting, Jen!  My SIL thinks I am crazy bc it is a new job....just created for a need they had and there is not protocol or someone to train me before I take over their job, but I don't get afraid of that, I am up for the challenge (thanks in part to the new found confidence the last 5 months have given me!) and I can't wait to get started!

Thanks to your photos I saw, I am doing my own.  The pants were sliding down a bit this time so I can't wear the same outfit forever! :D

I really needed to see them bc I was so discouraged at my dang scale! :angry:

My cousin who had WLS told me to take pics in my underwear and that would have been a good idea for ME and only ME to see!!!  My husband saw me in just my jeans and a bra the other day as I was running down the hallway looking for something that would fit and he said "WOW!  Have you SEEN yourself?" so I looked in the mirror and there is such a difference!  

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1 hour ago, CurvyMermaid said:

You look amazing @CheeringCJ!  I think the photos are what will help you continue to get over the body dysmorphia - and see the changes have really stuck!  And big congrats on the new job and transition in your year of me!   

Thanks....I always think body dysmorphia is in your head and I am not stupid enough to fall for it...but I am!!! :rolleyes:

I see the changes in the pics and am amazed at myself!

I am liking MY year!   It started off disastrous in Aug but has improved 110% since then!!!  I can't wait to see the rest of the year!

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36 minutes ago, kayak19 said:

You are looking great @CheeringCJ!  I know that whenever I'm not losing as much on the scale, my body is usually adjusting and I can see the results in my clothing and/or in my measurements.  I agree with @Readytobeme that your hair looks really good now, it seems like it goes better with the thinner you.  I hate seeing the hair in the drain and my brush, and everywhere else, but I'm also seeing it growing back in as well, so at least there is that going for us, right?

Thanks!  I was stressing bc not only did i not lose but my clothing size didn't go down like it was so rapidly, but in seeing the pics I HAVE changed so I am just going to keep trusting the process! 

The hair thing is something I am adjusting too....one day I hate it, the next it is ok.  A woman at church today said "I love your hair!"  go figure...I parted it on the other side!!! LOL! 

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3 hours ago, CheeringCJ said:

Thanks, Gretta!  I'm trying not to.  I will however, trade hair with you as your hair is so gorgeous (well, not your hedgehog hair but your real hair!) :D

Thanks for the compliments and I am looking forward to the new job!  

Aww, thanks! :wub:

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Great photos @CheeringCJ. I could use some like that myself at times. I tend to see the differences in photos that I can't see in the mirror. Congrats on the new job as well. Seems your world is taking a whole new turn for the better with both you and hubby have new jobs. Sounds like 2018 will be your year!

PS, not only are your arms longer...your taller woman.

Edited by Aussie Bear

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On 4/9/2018 at 3:15 AM, Aussie Bear said:

Great photos @CheeringCJ. I could use some like that myself at times. I tend to see the differences in photos that I can't see in the mirror. Congrats on the new job as well. Seems your world is taking a whole new turn for the better with both you and hubby have new jobs. Sounds like 2018 will be your year!

PS, not only are your arms longer...your taller woman.

Thanks, and yes, it does look like I grew taller....not sure why, maybe bc I am holding my head higher (pride) now days!  

This year has been a better year and it keeps getting better....I can't wait to start my new job!

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21 minutes ago, tracyringo said:

Wow, you look wonderful !!  Congrats

Thanks, Tracy!  I am feeling wonderful.  I was discouraged from not losing enough/fast enough, BUT when I can SEE it like this, in photos, then it seems more real and worth every moment! 

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11 minutes ago, TammyP said:

You look so great CJ!  So very proud of you and the wonderful progress you are making! <3

Thanks, Tammy!  I have some great inspiration from you veterans here!   You're all a tough act to follow, but I am trying :) and glad for the support and encouragement!

 

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