I'm 6 weeks out today - and down 27 lbs since surgery, 84 lbs overall. Today I landed at 271 on the scale, which is a big milestone for me - it's the lowest weight I ever achieved in Paleo adventure a couple of years ago. After this point back then, I stalled for a couple of months... and then, gave up in despair and started the inevitable climb back upwards. 271 today is also 10 lbs lost in month 2, and I'm only halfway through the month. So, there's a lot to feel good about. It took me 2 years to get to this weight on Paleo, btw. It's taken me since April of this year, this time.
I've also hit a CPAP milestone - in that I've stopped using it. I haven't worn it for the past three or four nights. I'd hit the point where I was sleeping less with it than without it, because the air pressure was so high. Nothing I did could stop the air from blasting out of my mouth, and I kept waking up in a panic with my mouth so dry I couldn't swallow. Leah is monitoring me for snoring, I'm staying off my back, and I haven't felt sleepy during the days. So I think that's going pretty well so far.
Yesterday we had our potluck dinner, and it was pretty successful! Leah made lasagna and cheesy broccoli/cauliflower casserole, Meg made a caesar salad and brought potato chips, and our friends brought roasted brussels sprouts, some kind of crazy bean salad, and an apple cake. I took a saucer instead of a big plate, and picked out a tiny sliver of lasagna (from which I removed the noodles and gave them to the dog; my portion was probably about 2 tablespoons of meat/cheee/sauce), a piece of broccoli, a piece of cauliflower, and one sprout. No one asked me any questions about my portion sizes, even though none of them knew I'd had RNY. They knew I was recovering from some kind of surgery, just not what kind. It took me about as long to eat my tiny portion as it did for them to eat their giant ones! Still not over that. Everything was great, and I was thrilled that I managed to eat actual vegetables.
Later, when dessert came out, I took a tiny bite of the apple cake, but passed on the mounds of pumpkin and vanilla ice cream. Leah actually cut a little piece off her apple cake for me - and then I halved that, and gave the other half to Sadie. (The dog may gain weight now, but better her than me My bite was probably about half a tablespoon. It was lovely, but I didn't really want or need more of it.
It was so awesome to be eating somewhat regular food! The lasagna meat sauce was made with ground beef, and I didn't have any trouble with it. The brussels sprout could have benefited from salt and garlic, but it was still nice and caramelized. I was only able to eat the outside leaves; the inside was too fibrous. I liked the broccoli better than the cauliflower - probably because the broccoli was softer. I feel like I did really well last night - tried some new things, but stayed on my plan. Later in the evening I had some cheese and yogurt, to hit my protein goals. But...
I keep having these anxiety dreams/nightmares about screwing up. One night I dreamed I ate a donut (this is totally because of that chick in my nutrition group who did that, I'm sure!) and then realized, halfway through the second donut, that I wasn't supposed to be eating it. It was like suddenly I remembered I had WLS and couldn't eat like that anymore. I felt this vast sadness and despair... and at the same time, I knew I was going to finish that second donut. It was really really awful.
Last night, I dreamed I ate half a can of Pringles before remembering I wasn't supposed to do that anymore. I can't remember what I did after that in the dream, but I had the same sense of sadness and failure, a certainty that I'd ruined everything. I think THIS was because of that one bite of apple cake. I've posted before about being worried I'd slide down a slippery slope - I'm sure a single bite of apple cake is NOT the start of a slippery slope, at least my conscious brain is sure, but my subconscious has possibly missed that memo.
I'm hoping as I gain more confidence in my ability to stick to my program, the nightmares will fade out. For now, I'm just grateful that these are dreams I wake up from, and not a nightmare I'm living through anymore!